<< <i>....you come home from work to find your wife in bed with the Harlem Globetrotters and while it is upsetting, you are more angry because she was too busy to answer the door for UPS and you have to wait another full day for your cards. >>
When you refuse to go any place on vacation that doesn't have internet access because it coincides with the end date of an ebay auction you are trying to snipe.
When you have expensive jewelry laying around, but your cards are in a safety deposit box at the bank.
When you wonder how you could have accumulated a 5-digit debt in a month without having anything to show for it - like vacation pictures or a new car.
When you look at your friends'/neighbors'/family's photos, you turn to the back of the picture to look at the stats.
When your PSA 1 cards look and smell better than you.
While building your new house, you make sure to add on an extra room specifically for your "addiction."
You refresh your items-for-sale on Ebay 100 times a day to see if they've gone up a buck or more!
Starting the day your confirm PSA has received your latest submission, you visit the site at least 1,000 times refreshing it over and over again thinking something new will actually appear (like results.)
<< When you wonder how you could have accumulated a 5-digit debt in a month without having anything to show for it - like vacation pictures or a new car. >>
You know you're a hard core collector... if you read the line above and said to yourself... "only 5 digits"
Props to BillRipken for these gems:
You have so many autographs the bank calls you to confirm a signature.
You get so much mail the P.O. bought your neighbors house to set up a sub-station.
Topps calls you to help with their vintage buy back program.
When ebay says "this month's fees are on us".
Fleer went out of business because you lost your job.
You know you're a hardcore collector when you... -get your sons first T-ball card and your first thought is "I wonder what grade this would get?" (after examining the card)
-stop at the drug store on the way to the hospital when your wife is in labor to pick up a Beckett so you have some reading material while she is giving birth!
-have called in sick to work so that you could be home when an auction on a card was up on ebay.
-have read through 8 pages of replies to this post and keep checking for more replies.
<< <i>I am ashamed to say I've masturbated to Dick Tidrow. >>
One of the funniest friggin things I've read in a while. Cudos bro!
"My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. Our childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When we were insolent we were placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really."
when your loved ones know the only gift that won't disappoint you is a box of cards if you happily sleep on the couch so you can make your bedroom into your card room when there's a room in your house that has a deadbolt that only you have the key for. when you prefer cards to cash if, more than once, you've been emailed by psa to please wait until the cards you just bought are in your possession before you register them to your set. if you still buy cards and instantly register them to your set anyway. if you've ever actually gone hungry from paying for cards instead of being "smart" with your money... etc etc etc
If your wife is talking to you and you are thinking -ok $30 in Paypal,$50 cash $100 in the bank, I need to ship this,scan that,check my ebay,email him back,open mail and you can do it correctly nodding and saying yes to her at the right times.
You are the main reason your dealer is retiring early.
Topps makes a new set to appeal to you.
You lotion your hands as callouses will harm cards.
...you are in the barber shop and you over hear some old geezer talking about all the old baseball cards he has in his attic and wife is bugging him to sell them so they can retire to Bermuda. Your wild Ebay spending has you strapped for cash so making an offer is out of the question.
You are only half way through your haircut but the old man is leaving, you tell the barber you'll be back later so he can finish. You follow the man to home and stake out the place.
The same night you return to the home.The fact that your haircut still isn't finished doesn't matter to you, the money was better used in buying duct tape and clothes line. Before you know it, you have aleady kicked the front door open.The old man and his wife are tied up and duct taped to chairs in the kitchen.
You race upstairs to the attic drunk with the thoughts of all the T cards, Goudey's, and Bowmans the old geezer has squirelled away. Before you reach the attic you here women giggling inside a rear bedroom. As you slow your pace you peer into the door, it's Carmen Electra, Jennifer Aniston and Salma Hayek they are covered in oil and wrestling on the bed.
You are spotted and the women are terrified , the fear is excacerbated at the sight of your half shorn head, they plead for there lives and ask you to join in the fun if you spare them any harm. What they are saying finally registers. In an indignant tone, you say " you must think I'm sick... I just want the cards ".
My marraige is in the tank and its just a matter of time before we sell the house and part ways and:
A. I have already allocated how much of the house profits I will spend on cards AND
B. More importantly, I have already had the discussion with my family who will "hold" my most valuable pieces since she mentioned going after them tonight. She can have as many of the 5000 count boxes she wants. That will just clear out more room for me and less to move
Collecting Interests: Ripken, Brooks & Frank Robinson, Old Orioles, Sweet Spot Autos, older Redskins - Riggins, Sonny, Baugh etc and anything that catches my eye.
My ghetto sportscard webpage...All Scans - No Lists!!! Stinky Linky
<< <i>"You know you're a hardcore collector when ..."
My marraige is in the tank and its just a matter of time before we sell the house and part ways and:
A. I have already allocated how much of the house profits I will spend on cards AND
B. More importantly, I have already had the discussion with my family who will "hold" my most valuable pieces since she mentioned going after them tonight. She can have as many of the 5000 count boxes she wants. That will just clear out more room for me and less to move >>
Wow!
I'm sorry to hear about this Chip
I'm glad you can find the humor in it. Good luck on the settlement - she's definitely trying a "power play" so....
tell her you want your "share" of her shoes, make-up, jewelry and clothes!!!!
B. More importantly, I have already had the discussion with my family who will "hold" my most valuable pieces since she mentioned going after them tonight. She can have as many of the 5000 count boxes she wants. That will just clear out more room for me and less to move
yeah, shouldn't be too hard to beat her at this game.. get your good cards the hell out of there when she's not looking, then just shrug and tell her she's crazy and doesn't know what she's talking about when she asks about them.. or better yet tell her you traded them all to a hooker or sold them all to pay your attorney. You might also want to pull any sets you have off the registry so she can't go after them....
Thanks Mike for the kind words and good point about the clothes and her items, I may have to drop that bomb the next time she gets nasty. No worries though, she is mentally like a box of chocolates, ya never know what your gonna get from day to day and that drives me up the wall.
Montana - "or better yet tell her you traded them all to a hooker" LOL, gave me a good chuckle and I needed that, thanks!!! You ARE joking...right???
Advice to me, meet my next wife at either a golf course or a card shop/show
Now back to your regularly scheduled thread and don't let me be the buzzkill on this enteraining thread. Com'on guys keep em coming!!!
Collecting Interests: Ripken, Brooks & Frank Robinson, Old Orioles, Sweet Spot Autos, older Redskins - Riggins, Sonny, Baugh etc and anything that catches my eye.
My ghetto sportscard webpage...All Scans - No Lists!!! Stinky Linky
<< <i>Advice to me, meet my next wife at either a golf course or a card shop/show >>
Interestingly...
When I was dating Mary, she went to all kinds of "guy" places with me. She even played tennis with me, met me at the gym after work and ran with me - at times.
Then....
I said: "I do"
and she said: "I don't"
And altho she is my best friend and we've been married for 25 yrs, I know I was hoodwinked!
<< <i>You know you're a hardcore collector when ...when you ask for a different business card from the sales rep because the corners are a little frayed. >>
I throw out my cards when they are a little nicked on the corners.
.....to end your wifes complaints of you never hold me or look at me enough, so you slab her.
.....your collection is insured for more than your house. *already said?*
....."nice rack" isnt even sexual sounding anymore.
....you enter a Mom and Pop store on vacation you look around the counter for some dusty,forgotten old packs.
....you sleep with a married woman just beacause you heard her husband has a very impressive collection and you want to see it but he wont show it as he lives in the woods and is anti-social.
When you're looking out the window and the thought strikes you to start a chart tracking what time the mail comes every day so that you'll have a better idea of when to expect the mailman to show up on certain days of the week...
Mondays seem to be the worst. Where the hell is that guy? Was he this late last Monday? Dang.
<< <i>you sleep with a married woman just beacause you heard her husband has a very impressive collection and you want to see it but he wont show it as he lives in the woods and is anti-social. >>
Comments
You put the bills in your wallet in sequence.
You have cards in your glove box.
You justify your spending on a 88 Topps box by saying "well the Ellis Burks is really centered nice".
Your non collector friends stop bring beer over due to your drunken card stories.
You dream more than 1X a week about a time machine and what cards you would get.
<< <i>You have cards in your glove box. >>
I have CS1's in my glove box
My Auctions
My three year old has completed all the puzzles from every Donruss set from the 80's
Mike
<< <i>Hey I actually got a christmas card from my ups driver last year. Is that bad? >>
Its not bad, it just means that your ups driver needs a tip, and you need a friend.
<< <i>....you come home from work to find your wife in bed with the Harlem Globetrotters and while it is upsetting, you are more angry because she was too busy to answer the door for UPS and you have to wait another full day for your cards. >>
did she get any autographs?
When you have expensive jewelry laying around, but your cards are in a safety deposit box at the bank.
When you wonder how you could have accumulated a 5-digit debt in a month without having anything to show for it - like vacation pictures or a new car.
When you look at your friends'/neighbors'/family's photos, you turn to the back of the picture to look at the stats.
When your PSA 1 cards look and smell better than you.
While building your new house, you make sure to add on an extra room specifically for your "addiction."
You refresh your items-for-sale on Ebay 100 times a day to see if they've gone up a buck or more!
Starting the day your confirm PSA has received your latest submission, you visit the site at least
1,000 times refreshing it over and over again thinking something new will actually appear (like results.)
ALWAYS Looking for Chris Sabo cards!
You get so much mail the P.O. bought your neighbors house to set up a sub-station.
Topps calls you to help with their vintage buy back program.
When ebay says "this month's fees are on us".
Fleer went out of business because you lost your job.
ALWAYS Looking for Chris Sabo cards!
You nickname your kids after card companies.
You risk your job everyday posting like this.
You remember when he not as financially stable and known as Mr. Excellent.
and 3 hrs and 10 minutes later, you're STILL ON!
You know you're a hard core collector... if you read the line above and said to yourself... "only 5 digits"
Props to BillRipken for these gems:
You have so many autographs the bank calls you to confirm a signature.
You get so much mail the P.O. bought your neighbors house to set up a sub-station.
Topps calls you to help with their vintage buy back program.
When ebay says "this month's fees are on us".
Fleer went out of business because you lost your job.
Edited for grammar.
61 Topps (100%) 7.96
62 Parkhurst (100%) 8.70
63 Topps (100%) 7.96
63 York WB's (50%) 8.52
68 Topps (39%) 8.54
69 Topps (3%) 9.00
69 OPC (83%) 8.21
71 Topps (100%) 9.21 #1 A.T.F.
72 Topps (100%) 9.39
73 Topps (13%) 9.35
74 OPC WHA (95%) 8.57
75 Topps (50%) 9.23
77 OPC WHA (86%) 8.62 #1 A.T.F.
88 Topps (5%) 10.00
Your job hides the tape/stamps from you.
You search obituaries and call posing as a old friend and ask "so did he collect cards?"
You give unwanted advice on what packs to buy to 10 years olds at the local Target.
You go to card shows broke,just to look but hope you dont find anything good.
You would rather spend your money to send commons to another collector than throw them in the trash.
-get your sons first T-ball card and your first thought is "I wonder what grade this would get?" (after examining the card)
-stop at the drug store on the way to the hospital when your wife is in labor to pick up a Beckett so you have some reading material while she is giving birth!
-have called in sick to work so that you could be home when an auction on a card was up on ebay.
-have read through 8 pages of replies to this post and keep checking for more replies.
I have to admit that I have done all of these.
View Vintage Football Cards For Sale
<< <i>I am ashamed to say I've masturbated to Dick Tidrow. >>
One of the funniest friggin things I've read in a while. Cudos bro!
and 3 hrs and 10 minutes later, you're STILL ON!""
And your cover up when she enters IS XXXrated sites
Honest Honey.. No cards
you think, cmon Joe offer this service.
when your loved ones know the only gift that won't disappoint you is a box of cards
if you happily sleep on the couch so you can make your bedroom into your card room
when there's a room in your house that has a deadbolt that only you have the key for.
when you prefer cards to cash
if, more than once, you've been emailed by psa to please wait until the cards you just bought are in your possession before you register them to your set.
if you still buy cards and instantly register them to your set anyway.
if you've ever actually gone hungry from paying for cards instead of being "smart" with your money...
etc etc etc
i think we all need help
You are the main reason your dealer is retiring early.
Topps makes a new set to appeal to you.
You lotion your hands as callouses will harm cards.
You are only half way through your haircut but the old man is leaving, you tell the barber you'll be back later so he can finish. You follow the man to home and stake out the place.
The same night you return to the home.The fact that your haircut still isn't finished doesn't matter to you, the money was better used in buying duct tape and clothes line. Before you know it, you have aleady kicked the front door open.The old man and his wife are tied up and duct taped to chairs in the kitchen.
You race upstairs to the attic drunk with the thoughts of all the T cards, Goudey's, and Bowmans the old geezer has squirelled away. Before you reach the attic you here women giggling inside a rear bedroom. As you slow your pace you peer into the door, it's Carmen Electra, Jennifer Aniston and Salma Hayek they are covered in oil and wrestling on the bed.
You are spotted and the women are terrified , the fear is excacerbated at the sight of your half shorn head, they plead for there lives and ask you to join in the fun if you spare them any harm. What they are saying finally registers. In an indignant tone, you say " you must think I'm sick... I just want the cards ".
You health care provider refuses to cover you anymore from your excessive neck cramps from looking down.
Your bonus at work is a box of cards.
For V-day your wife says she wants a GEM so you ponder.. PSA 10 or a GEM slab?
You get happy when your 1987 Topps pack has 15 instead of 14 cards.
PSA is on your contact list on your cell phone.
You know more than 3 employees at PSA by name.
You know you're NUTS...
when you throw out half the clothes in your closet to make room for more baseball stuff!!!
mike
My marraige is in the tank and its just a matter of time before we sell the house and part ways and:
A. I have already allocated how much of the house profits I will spend on cards AND
B. More importantly, I have already had the discussion with my family who will "hold" my most valuable pieces since she mentioned going after them tonight. She can have as many of the 5000 count boxes she wants. That will just clear out more room for me and less to move
Ripken, Brooks & Frank Robinson, Old Orioles, Sweet Spot Autos, older Redskins - Riggins, Sonny, Baugh etc and anything that catches my eye.
My ghetto sportscard webpage...All Scans - No Lists!!! Stinky Linky
<< <i>"You know you're a hardcore collector when ..."
My marraige is in the tank and its just a matter of time before we sell the house and part ways and:
A. I have already allocated how much of the house profits I will spend on cards AND
B. More importantly, I have already had the discussion with my family who will "hold" my most valuable pieces since she mentioned going after them tonight. She can have as many of the 5000 count boxes she wants. That will just clear out more room for me and less to move
Wow!
I'm sorry to hear about this Chip
I'm glad you can find the humor in it. Good luck on the settlement - she's definitely trying a "power play" so....
tell her you want your "share" of her shoes, make-up, jewelry and clothes!!!!
All my best
mike
yeah, shouldn't be too hard to beat her at this game.. get your good cards the hell out of there when she's not looking, then just shrug and tell her she's crazy and doesn't know what she's talking about when she asks about them.. or better yet tell her you traded them all to a hooker or sold them all to pay your attorney. You might also want to pull any sets you have off the registry so she can't go after them....
good luck with that..
Montana - "or better yet tell her you traded them all to a hooker" LOL, gave me a good chuckle and I needed that, thanks!!! You ARE joking...right???
Advice to me, meet my next wife at either a golf course or a card shop/show
Now back to your regularly scheduled thread and don't let me be the buzzkill on this enteraining thread. Com'on guys keep em coming!!!
Ripken, Brooks & Frank Robinson, Old Orioles, Sweet Spot Autos, older Redskins - Riggins, Sonny, Baugh etc and anything that catches my eye.
My ghetto sportscard webpage...All Scans - No Lists!!! Stinky Linky
<< <i>Advice to me, meet my next wife at either a golf course or a card shop/show >>
Interestingly...
When I was dating Mary, she went to all kinds of "guy" places with me. She even played tennis with me, met me at the gym after work and ran with me - at times.
Then....
I said: "I do"
and she said: "I don't"
And altho she is my best friend and we've been married for 25 yrs, I know I was hoodwinked!
...can't live with them, can't kill them.
*shrugs*
added: unless you're OJ
My Auctions
You know your a hardcore collector when....
He told you he has a card you need but you know you will get scammed but you hope for the best and trade with cpandeaz3.
Your benefit package at work includes a wax box a month.
You hide your bonus to buy cards, then have to explain to wifey, work was slow or you were unproductive.
You keep 1988 Topps baseball commons
Fleer emailed you first about buying their company.
You have a good relationship with the mail carrier, worker at postoffice and clerks at office max.
You can eyeball a package and know shipping cost within .10
PSA is on speed dial *already said?*
PSA makes a $5 special named after you.
The IRS wants a cut on your sales from cards.
You look at your CD cases and wonder if you could get them reholdered or cross them over.
"All evil needs to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
<< <i>You know you're a hardcore collector when ...when you ask for a different business card from the sales rep because the corners are a little frayed. >>
I throw out my cards when they are a little nicked on the corners.
My Auctions
www.bbcexchange.com
www.ebay.com
www.nearmintcards.com
www.fantasysports.yahoo.com
<< <i>....you see a fine girl and say "I'd slab that." >>
<< <i>
<< <i>....you see a fine girl and say "I'd slab that." >>
I'd slab "it"
.....your collection is insured for more than your house. *already said?*
....."nice rack" isnt even sexual sounding anymore.
....you enter a Mom and Pop store on vacation you look around the counter for some dusty,forgotten old packs.
....you sleep with a married woman just beacause you heard her husband has a very impressive collection and you want to see it but he wont show it as he lives in the woods and is anti-social.
When you're looking out the window and the thought strikes you to start a chart tracking what time the mail comes every day so that you'll have a better idea of when to expect the mailman to show up on certain days of the week...
Mondays seem to be the worst. Where the hell is that guy? Was he this late last Monday? Dang.
<< <i>you sleep with a married woman just beacause you heard her husband has a very impressive collection and you want to see it but he wont show it as he lives in the woods and is anti-social. >>
This sounds like a RichG comparison.
1994 Pro Line Live
TheDallasCowboyBackfieldProject
You know your a hardcore collector when........
CU is down so you go over to Beckett.
You can open a pack and drive.
You receive redemption cards in bulk.
you buy old packs and eat the gum.
you post scans of 89 Topps.
computers are down at work so you call in sick.
When my dad is being wheeled into the operating room saying " how did this not get a 10!!!
Best of luck to your dad on the operation!
My Auctions
....you suddenly realize that you keep stepping on your hair....
....you have the misguided notion that televised football games only last for one play....
....you scoured the 5000 count box for 87th time and found not one but 2 potential PSA 7's..............from the 1992 Upper Deck Baseball Set....
keep them coming.