USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Several days ago, as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal "TSA pat down."
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion: her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. The police said they’d get right on it.
Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," I stammered. (I always call her "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep, it's the golden years.
@amwldcoin said:
If you want to break the silence after someone rips a fart, just look at them and say
“Speak to me O toothless one!”
...with your big lips and bald head.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Back in the '80s when I was in the Navy I was on Shore Duty and I was taking classes to complete my bachelor's degree. One day I had to go on base during my off time to take a test. After taking the test and fortunately I passed, I went to the parking lot to get into my truck and drive home. That's when the problem started. I reached in my pocket and didn't have the keys. I looked in the car and couldn't find them till I went over on the rider side and the keys were in the ignition, just staring at me. I had no choice but to go back in to the building and call my wife and explain to her that I'd locked my keys in the car and she need to come and bring my spare keys so I could go to work. After driving about 25 miles to bring my spare keys she got out of her car walked over to my truck and stared for a couple minutes. She looked at me and threw the keys. She then yelled while she was walking back to her car you stupid blank blank blank, your window was rolled down. Well I'm still waiting for this conversation to end and it doesn't look like it's going to be in the near future either.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I got my tail tanned for revealing a secret to my little sister! My dad had a bunch of venison made into hamburger. You couldn't really tell the difference since he had some beef fat ground in since it was so lean. When we were almost finished eating I told my sister she just ate part of Bambi! OOPS! Yeah, it went down just like you would suspect with one crying emotionally and the other with a red butt!
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
My brother-in-law used to say, “Speak to me sweet ruby lips.”
Your not alone it seems.
I'm waiting!
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Several days ago, as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal "TSA pat down."
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion: her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. The police said they’d get right on it.
Then I made the most difficult call of all. "Honey," I stammered. (I always call her "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."
Yep, it's the golden years.
...with your big lips and bald head.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Back in the '80s when I was in the Navy I was on Shore Duty and I was taking classes to complete my bachelor's degree. One day I had to go on base during my off time to take a test. After taking the test and fortunately I passed, I went to the parking lot to get into my truck and drive home. That's when the problem started. I reached in my pocket and didn't have the keys. I looked in the car and couldn't find them till I went over on the rider side and the keys were in the ignition, just staring at me. I had no choice but to go back in to the building and call my wife and explain to her that I'd locked my keys in the car and she need to come and bring my spare keys so I could go to work. After driving about 25 miles to bring my spare keys she got out of her car walked over to my truck and stared for a couple minutes. She looked at me and threw the keys. She then yelled while she was walking back to her car you stupid blank blank blank, your window was rolled down. Well I'm still waiting for this conversation to end and it doesn't look like it's going to be in the near future either.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Opps !
Oh ? You got a grip.
Where's Vanna White when you need her.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Riddle me this ?
Lol.
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I got my tail tanned for revealing a secret to my little sister! My dad had a bunch of venison made into hamburger. You couldn't really tell the difference since he had some beef fat ground in since it was so lean. When we were almost finished eating I told my sister she just ate part of Bambi! OOPS! Yeah, it went down just like you would suspect with one crying emotionally and the other with a red butt!
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members