@marcmoish said:
in honor of @jkrk present situation, I present an older one, written various versions but this one always makes me laugh.
A man was walking along the beach in Oregon and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared, thanked the man for letting him out, and said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed from Coos Bay. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie considered for a few moments and sighed, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Pre 1994 re NHL NY rangers..prior to winning the Stanley cup (prob also told in Boston and or Chicago). At the time the joke was...
"I wish for peace in the Middle East.
Genie "they've been fighting forever. 5000 -10,000 yrs .. I'm sorry your request is impossible"
"I understand. Then, how about the rangers winning the Stanley cup?"
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
The difference between "complete" and "finished":
When you marry the right woman, you are complete.
But, if you marry the wrong woman, you are finished.
And when the right woman catches you with the wrong
woman, you are completely finished!
Comments
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Dave
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Coin related and from today’s newspaper…
Congressional UFO hearings continue:
"Mr. Chairman, our next witness is arriving now"
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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Looked good for some 57 minutes tonight...
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
scout
hiker
indoor
taught
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It happens!!
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Oh my 😳.
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
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USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
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@JWP
This is the ultimate cat drawing guy.
.
He Wants to Draw a Cat For You! - Shark Tank
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Ever happen to you...?
1) You've reached the age where your prescription bill has caught up to your bar bill.
2)You see a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar. You walk up to her and say, "Where have you been all my life?"
"Well," she says, "for the first half of it, I wasn't even born."
At least he didn’t draw and quarter it.
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Lincoln Logs.
OK, I can see that.
Scout
Hiker
Indoor
Taught
Short-Changed
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
Cheers, RickO
Some marital advice
The difference between "complete" and "finished":
When you marry the right woman, you are complete.
But, if you marry the wrong woman, you are finished.
And when the right woman catches you with the wrong
woman, you are completely finished!