A hedge fund manager steps out of his Porsche and a truck races by and took the door off the car. My Porsche is ruined he screamed. A police officer shakes his head in disgust. You are so focused on your possessions that you didn’t even realize your left arm was shorn off when the truck hit you. The hedge fund manager looks down in horror. Oh no he cries, my Rolex.
“A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day,” said the barman. “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was this time, the guy said, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay, too!” On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. “Jesus!” said the bartender. “Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?” “Yeah, my wife!”
She gave me her phone number.
Ok, I'm a quarter of the way there.
My phone battery fainted.
Saw this (above) on the street. Lets see...insert coin here. Ok, Thought I heard wedding bells.
Lets see...buttons with numbers and letters.
WHAT !!!
@jkrk said:
An oldie but I still laugh at the joke.
“A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day,” said the barman. “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was this time, the guy said, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay, too!” On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. “Jesus!” said the bartender. “Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?” “Yeah, my wife!”
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.: Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage to get a sponge, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the waste basket under the table, and notice that the basket is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye… They need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: The car isn't washed. The bills aren't paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter. The flowers don't have enough water. There is still only 1 check in my check book. I can't find the remote. I can't find my glasses. And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all darn day.
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail...
Comments
A hedge fund manager steps out of his Porsche and a truck races by and took the door off the car. My Porsche is ruined he screamed. A police officer shakes his head in disgust. You are so focused on your possessions that you didn’t even realize your left arm was shorn off when the truck hit you. The hedge fund manager looks down in horror. Oh no he cries, my Rolex.
I never thought orthopedic shoes were for me... but now I stand
corrected.
There once was a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a
terrible king, but a great ruler.
Have you seen my book for stuntmen on how to fall down stairs?
It's a step-by-step guide.
"Doctor, my child swallowed a roll of film. What should I do?"
"Let's wait and see if anything develops."
My child was chewing on electric cords, so I had to ground him.
He's doing better now, and conducting himself properly
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )
I'm not wearing this to breakfast, lunch or dinner. Give it to a bat, he won't know the difference.
Hurk, Hurk...It's me Newton, Newton.
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I've heard of a fly on the wall before, but this a new one for me!
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
😳
🎶 shout shout, let it all out 🎶
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
LoL!!! That is GREAT!!! LoL!!!
Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
My question is is it chunky or creamy? LOL
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
an amazing compilation of bike riders doing some amazing stunts and tricks!!!
pretty funny.
Smooth or sly?
I just showed this to my wife. We both couldn't stop laughing!! LoL!! That was great!! 😂 🤣
Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )
like moths?
or caterpillars
Fan fiction made from the Fallout games.
Money is primarily bottle caps in the game.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )
An oldie but I still laugh at the joke.
“A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.” “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day,” said the barman. “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.” The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was this time, the guy said, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay, too!” On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. “Jesus!” said the bartender. “Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?” “Yeah, my wife!”
H*ll that was my source of income when wandering around NYC at the age of 12. Made a pretty good living at it.
Ever miss doing a fist bump ?
I did .
She gave me her phone number.
Ok, I'm a quarter of the way there.
My phone battery fainted.
Saw this (above) on the street. Lets see...insert coin here. Ok, Thought I heard wedding bells.
Lets see...buttons with numbers and letters.
WHAT !!!
I think we were in the same club! 👍🏻 👍🏻
Disclaimer: I'm not a dealer, trader, grader, investor or professional numismatist. I'm just a hobbyist. (To protect me but mostly you! 🤣 )
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Our evolving world has clearly left you behind.
Smitten with DBLCs.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.: Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage to get a sponge, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the waste basket under the table, and notice that the basket is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye… They need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: The car isn't washed. The bills aren't paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter. The flowers don't have enough water. There is still only 1 check in my check book. I can't find the remote. I can't find my glasses. And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all darn day.
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail...