Tales of Mrs Coinboard - Part 2 ******************
Bear
Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
Mrs Coinboard: Alright class ,settle down in your seats
and I will tell you a story about Coinalot.
Jmski :Mrs Coinboard, can I go to the bathroom?
Mrs Coinboard : Yes dear, but hurry back or the story will
be over.
Mrs Coinboard : Once upon a time there was a wondrous
Kingdom called Coinalot. It was ruled by a benign
but befuddled king called ArtR.
Narrator : Once again we find ourselves in the Great Hall
of the Royal Castle. The Good King is surrounded
by his royal advisers, knights and hangers on. Amongst
Co the assembled throng are the usual wits, half wits, dumbwits,
dimwits and the occasional droll troll.
King ArtR : Good sirs and ladies, you are all indeed welcome to the Royal
Court for our monthly Board Meeting. Sir Russ, what of the matter
of Border security?
Sir Russ : Sire, within the last few months, our good citizens of Coinalot are
being CACed upon.
King ArtR : What sayeth you. This is a royal outrage. When my people are being
CACed upon, it distubeth the tranquility of the Realm. Hath such offended
citizens been appropriately cleansed?
Sir Russ : Sire, CACed is not a reference to an unclean act. Rather it is the act of
placing a colored sticker on the forehead of worthy citizens.
Sir Ricko : Zounds Sire. Tis an act of infamy, that doth require satisfaction.
King ArtR : Settle down a bissel Sir Ricko and we shall question further this
disregard of our Royal Borders. What is the meaning of such stickering?
Sir Russ : As best as I may ascertain Sire, It is bestowed on folk who are either
determined to be PQ or, are deemed solid for their class.
King ArtR : Who dares to evaluate the gentle folk of my Realm.
Sir Jfoot
o, oo, Sire. I know, I know.
King ArtR :Thou soundeth like an owl gone coo coo Sir jfoot.
Sir jfoot : Sire, tis from the lands North of the Bay of E. Tis the
Duchey of Lady Laura. Tis a group of hunched backed , gnarly, gnomes
That doth qualify our folk to thus be CACed.
King ArtR : Sir Coinsarefun. Thou art the Constable deeded the task of securing
our Royal Borders. What hath ye to say?
Constable
Coinarefun : Sire, the scoundrels doth sneak acrosseth our borders because we have
no fences. They tell the people that they will have more value in the sight of
others if they doth qualify for stickering.
King ArtR : Can we not buildeth a fence to quell such outlandish acts?
Sir DUIGUY : To expensive Sire. The Royal Treasury can not afford it. Besides,
we need the cheap labor that also sneaks across into our lands.
King ArtR : Tis a Royal Consternation. What to do, what to do?
Lady Fastrudy : Sire. When I have ants, I run a line of boric acid powder around my
house and it keeps the ants away. The Kingdom should doth not take
more then 100 tons of powder to do the job.
King ArtR : 100 tons you say? Oh guards, please escort yon Lady Fastrudy to the
Royal Catapult for an E ticket ride to the Bay of E. Perhaps a refreshing
ice cold dip will revive her addled brain. Begone from my sight woman.
Am I to suffer the constant roiling of the Royal Roids by dolts and dunderheads?
Sir DUIGUY : I have it Sire. A virtual fence.
King ArtR : Will it be tall and strong?
Sir DUIGUY :No sire, it does not actually exist. We tell everyone that there really is a fence
but we don't actually build one. That way it costs the Royal Treasury nothing but
everyone thinks that we have a real fence.
King ArtR : Think that the peasants will buy such a tall tale?
Sir DUIGUY : Oh yes Sire. Slap enough butter on it and the peasants will
believe almost anything.
King ArtR : OK. One problem solved. Now for the economic report by our Chancellor
of the Royal Federal Bank.
Sir Rincon : Sire I am afraid that my report is just a teensy weensy bit short of enthusiastic.
Home values down, stocks down, employment down, consumer confidence
down, the value of the Royal currency down.
King ArtR : What about the gas, man?
Sir Rincon : I had a little after lunch , sire. However tis better now.
Thank you for asking.
King ArtR No YOU IMBECILE. I care not for your private production of methane,
I refer to petroleum and its by products. Forget your digestive ruminations.
Sir Rincon :There is the good news sire. Gas is up, Food is up, The value of CACed folk is
reported to be up, precious metals are all up. As you know sire, the Royal treasury
owns all of the gold, silver and platinum in the Kingdom is held in the Royal Treasury
King ArtR : What of the housing market?
Sir Orville : Sire, the Banks have lent more money on hovels then the pitiful dung heaps
are worth. Then , when the peasants can no longer pay the taxes and usury,
the banks sell the hovels for less then they are worth.
King ArtR : What of the peasants?
Sir Orville : Screwed Sire.
King ArtR :What of the banks and their activities? How do they profit?
Sir Orville : Volume sire. They make it up on volume.
King ArtR : What of the Duke that rule such houses of pain?
Sir Orville : Well Sire, the best I can maketh out, is that the more billions
they lose for the banks, the more hundreds of millions they get paid as
severance when they retire. A rather nifty reward for nincompoops.
King ArtR : This then is my decree. Hang all the Dukes that doth rule the money houses .
Have the Royal Treasury buy all the mortgages and reduce the interest to keep
the peasants in their hovels. Lower the Royal Federal Bank discount rate to 2%.
Declare a royal week of celebration with food and drinks provided for all the people.
Give each family 1200 pieces of silver and an additional 300 pieces for each child and
sayeth to all within my Realm ,to rejoice , that justice has been done throughout the
land.
and I will tell you a story about Coinalot.
Jmski :Mrs Coinboard, can I go to the bathroom?
Mrs Coinboard : Yes dear, but hurry back or the story will
be over.
Mrs Coinboard : Once upon a time there was a wondrous
Kingdom called Coinalot. It was ruled by a benign
but befuddled king called ArtR.
Narrator : Once again we find ourselves in the Great Hall
of the Royal Castle. The Good King is surrounded
by his royal advisers, knights and hangers on. Amongst
Co the assembled throng are the usual wits, half wits, dumbwits,
dimwits and the occasional droll troll.
King ArtR : Good sirs and ladies, you are all indeed welcome to the Royal
Court for our monthly Board Meeting. Sir Russ, what of the matter
of Border security?
Sir Russ : Sire, within the last few months, our good citizens of Coinalot are
being CACed upon.
King ArtR : What sayeth you. This is a royal outrage. When my people are being
CACed upon, it distubeth the tranquility of the Realm. Hath such offended
citizens been appropriately cleansed?
Sir Russ : Sire, CACed is not a reference to an unclean act. Rather it is the act of
placing a colored sticker on the forehead of worthy citizens.
Sir Ricko : Zounds Sire. Tis an act of infamy, that doth require satisfaction.
King ArtR : Settle down a bissel Sir Ricko and we shall question further this
disregard of our Royal Borders. What is the meaning of such stickering?
Sir Russ : As best as I may ascertain Sire, It is bestowed on folk who are either
determined to be PQ or, are deemed solid for their class.
King ArtR : Who dares to evaluate the gentle folk of my Realm.
Sir Jfoot
o, oo, Sire. I know, I know.King ArtR :Thou soundeth like an owl gone coo coo Sir jfoot.
Sir jfoot : Sire, tis from the lands North of the Bay of E. Tis the
Duchey of Lady Laura. Tis a group of hunched backed , gnarly, gnomes
That doth qualify our folk to thus be CACed.
King ArtR : Sir Coinsarefun. Thou art the Constable deeded the task of securing
our Royal Borders. What hath ye to say?
Constable
Coinarefun : Sire, the scoundrels doth sneak acrosseth our borders because we have
no fences. They tell the people that they will have more value in the sight of
others if they doth qualify for stickering.
King ArtR : Can we not buildeth a fence to quell such outlandish acts?
Sir DUIGUY : To expensive Sire. The Royal Treasury can not afford it. Besides,
we need the cheap labor that also sneaks across into our lands.
King ArtR : Tis a Royal Consternation. What to do, what to do?
Lady Fastrudy : Sire. When I have ants, I run a line of boric acid powder around my
house and it keeps the ants away. The Kingdom should doth not take
more then 100 tons of powder to do the job.
King ArtR : 100 tons you say? Oh guards, please escort yon Lady Fastrudy to the
Royal Catapult for an E ticket ride to the Bay of E. Perhaps a refreshing
ice cold dip will revive her addled brain. Begone from my sight woman.
Am I to suffer the constant roiling of the Royal Roids by dolts and dunderheads?
Sir DUIGUY : I have it Sire. A virtual fence.
King ArtR : Will it be tall and strong?
Sir DUIGUY :No sire, it does not actually exist. We tell everyone that there really is a fence
but we don't actually build one. That way it costs the Royal Treasury nothing but
everyone thinks that we have a real fence.
King ArtR : Think that the peasants will buy such a tall tale?
Sir DUIGUY : Oh yes Sire. Slap enough butter on it and the peasants will
believe almost anything.
King ArtR : OK. One problem solved. Now for the economic report by our Chancellor
of the Royal Federal Bank.
Sir Rincon : Sire I am afraid that my report is just a teensy weensy bit short of enthusiastic.
Home values down, stocks down, employment down, consumer confidence
down, the value of the Royal currency down.
King ArtR : What about the gas, man?
Sir Rincon : I had a little after lunch , sire. However tis better now.
Thank you for asking.
King ArtR No YOU IMBECILE. I care not for your private production of methane,
I refer to petroleum and its by products. Forget your digestive ruminations.
Sir Rincon :There is the good news sire. Gas is up, Food is up, The value of CACed folk is
reported to be up, precious metals are all up. As you know sire, the Royal treasury
owns all of the gold, silver and platinum in the Kingdom is held in the Royal Treasury
King ArtR : What of the housing market?
Sir Orville : Sire, the Banks have lent more money on hovels then the pitiful dung heaps
are worth. Then , when the peasants can no longer pay the taxes and usury,
the banks sell the hovels for less then they are worth.
King ArtR : What of the peasants?
Sir Orville : Screwed Sire.
King ArtR :What of the banks and their activities? How do they profit?
Sir Orville : Volume sire. They make it up on volume.
King ArtR : What of the Duke that rule such houses of pain?
Sir Orville : Well Sire, the best I can maketh out, is that the more billions
they lose for the banks, the more hundreds of millions they get paid as
severance when they retire. A rather nifty reward for nincompoops.
King ArtR : This then is my decree. Hang all the Dukes that doth rule the money houses .
Have the Royal Treasury buy all the mortgages and reduce the interest to keep
the peasants in their hovels. Lower the Royal Federal Bank discount rate to 2%.
Declare a royal week of celebration with food and drinks provided for all the people.
Give each family 1200 pieces of silver and an additional 300 pieces for each child and
sayeth to all within my Realm ,to rejoice , that justice has been done throughout the
land.
There once was a place called
Camelot
Camelot
0
Comments
Bob
Lordmarcovan, WTCG, YogiBerraFan, Phoenin21, LindeDad, Coll3ctor, blue594, robkoll, Mike Dixon, BloodMan, Flakthat and others.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
“We are only their care-takers,” he posed, “if we take good care of them, then centuries from now they may still be here … ”
Todd - BHNC #242
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
(nice use of the catapult
Proud recipient of two "You Suck" awards
By the way, I was at my uncles place in Wisconsin last weekend and a small black bear ran right in front of us scaring us half to death. I was going to offer a peace doughnut, but it was gone before I knew it.
I wish you would have said hi for me.
Camelot
POST NUBILA PHOEBUS / AFTER CLOUDS, SUN
Love for Music / Collector of Dreck
Thank you Sir Bear!!!!!! May we have another????????
Hell, I don't need to exercise.....I get enough just pushing my luck.
I knew it would happen.
Bear - a suggestion - when AirplaneNut runs his next charity auction, please include an auction item to include the winning board member in the next tale of Coinalot.
I will do just that and will create a story
around the winner of the auction.
Camelot