I also remember a joke I heard when I was in 1st or 2nd grade. The joke was about scientists who wanted to do study involving an elephant, a cork in its backside for 20 years and a monkey who was trained to remove corks.
The punchline involved a scientist being interviewed by a reporter who asked what the scientist saw and the scientist saying all he saw was "the poor monkey trying to put the cork back in".
I remember laughing for a long time after hearing the punch line.
Fast forward to when my two sons were in 1st or 2nd grade. I told them the same joke and they also laughed a long time.
If I am blessed with grandsons, one day I may see my sons tell the same joke to them.
I heard that one as three farmers wanting to see how much a cow would poop if they stuck a cork up it's butt for a week. The monkey was trained to pull the cork out and at the designated time, with many of the local townsfolk out to watch and with the three farmers positioned in a triangle around the cow to judge for themselves, the monkey was given the signal to pull the cork. A reporter asked the first farmer "What did you see?". The first farmer responded "I saw piles and piles of poop!". The reporter then asked the second farmer "What did you see?". The second farmer responded "I saw mountains and mountains of poop!". The reporter then asked the third farmer "What did YOU see?". The third farmer responded "I saw the monkey trying to stick the cork back in."
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER:
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket .
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
@Boosibri said:
How is this thread allowed but my thread on my coin library was shut down for being OT.
Because a thread about the Beatles, Fred Flintstone, three farmers and pin the toupee is way more critically important in these times versus your library of well read Nancy Drew books.
I left the bar feeling pretty good that early morning. Somewhere around 3am I started my way home. I live in a rural area so there's never nobody on the road. It was snowing so I was taking my time. That's when I noticed tire tracks in the snow in front of me. They were swerving all over the road, going completely off the road every now and then. I thought this SOB is more buzzed than I am, he's gonna kill himself. It was like he was playing chicken with the mailboxes, I was amazed I hadn't found him over an embankment. I continued to follow the tracks until I finally caught up to the newspaper man on his early morning route.
"May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
@1Mike1 said:
I left the bar feeling pretty good that early morning. Somewhere around 3am I started my way home. I live in a rural area so there's never nobody on the road. It was snowing so I was taking my time. That's when I noticed tire tracks in the snow in front of me. They were swerving all over the road, going completely off the road every now and then. I thought this SOB is more buzzed than I am, he's gonna kill himself. It was like he was playing chicken with the mailboxes, I was amazed I hadn't found him over an embankment. I continued to follow the tracks until I finally caught up to the newspaper man on his early morning route.
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Three college guys graduate, and go down to Mexico to celebrate. After a night of carousing, they wake up the next morning in jail. They don't remember what had happened or how they got there, but they were all scheduled for execution in the electric chair.
They ask the first kid if he had any ultimas palabras.
"I just graduated from Trinity Bible School with a degree in Theology, and I believe in the power of the Lord to save me."
They then flipped the switch, but nothing happened. All the prison staff fell to their knees, released the guy, and begged for forgiveness.
Then they strapped in the second kid.
"I just graduated from the University of Texas Law School, and I believe the power of justice and the Rule of Law to save me."
They flipped the switch, and again nothing happened. And once again, they were overcome with awe. They released him, and again begged forgiveness.
Then they strapped in the third kid.
"I'm an Aggie, who just graduated from Texas A&M with a degree in Electrical Engineering. And I'm here to tell you, this thing ain't never going to work unless you plug it in."
I once photoshopped one of my really dense co-workers into this meme. Everyone thought it was hysterical because it was spot on. I don't think she ever saw it.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
@dcarr - That's terrific - thanks for sharing! The match between Jim Backus and George Washington is really spot on.
.
.
And speaking of Jim Backus...this is a classic that I first heard on Dr. Demento: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhdNbRvPU-E
@IkesT said: @dcarr - That's terrific - thanks for sharing! The match between Jim Backus and George Washington is really spot on.
.
.
And speaking of Jim Backus...this is a classic that I first heard on Dr. Demento: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhdNbRvPU-E
That's just creepy!
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
A man was putting his three-year-old daughter to bed, and advised her to say her prayers:
"God bless, mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa."
Dad thought that last comment was peculiar, so he let it go. The next day, though, the family received word that Grandpa had died of a stroke.
The next night, the man was putting his child to bed, and she prayed:
"God bless mommy, God bless daddy, and good-bye Grandma."
The very next day, the grandmother died suddenly of a heart attack. The family was in shock, but none more than daddy.
That night, the child prayed:
"God bless mommy, and good-bye daddy."
By now, daddy was convinced this kid had some conduit to the Great Beyond, and spent the next day in horror. He was at the office, watching the clock. For some reason feeling safer there, he stayed until midnight. Massively relieved, he came home.
His wife asked him why he'd been so late. He told her it'd been the worse day of his life. She said, "You think YOU had a bad day. This afternoon, the mailman dropped dead on our porch!"
Comments
C'mon guys if the Beatles can do it, so can we.
How does a Rabbi make his coffee? Hebrews it.
Dave
Did you hear what the sailor who could not read did on his first night back in port on shore leave after six months at sea?
He spent the night in a warehouse.
@SanctionII Now that's funny!
I also remember a joke I heard when I was in 1st or 2nd grade. The joke was about scientists who wanted to do study involving an elephant, a cork in its backside for 20 years and a monkey who was trained to remove corks.
The punchline involved a scientist being interviewed by a reporter who asked what the scientist saw and the scientist saying all he saw was "the poor monkey trying to put the cork back in".
I remember laughing for a long time after hearing the punch line.
Fast forward to when my two sons were in 1st or 2nd grade. I told them the same joke and they also laughed a long time.
If I am blessed with grandsons, one day I may see my sons tell the same joke to them.
Definitely a joke for the male of the species.
How is this thread allowed but my thread on my coin library was shut down for being OT.
Latin American Collection
I heard that one as three farmers wanting to see how much a cow would poop if they stuck a cork up it's butt for a week. The monkey was trained to pull the cork out and at the designated time, with many of the local townsfolk out to watch and with the three farmers positioned in a triangle around the cow to judge for themselves, the monkey was given the signal to pull the cork. A reporter asked the first farmer "What did you see?". The first farmer responded "I saw piles and piles of poop!". The reporter then asked the second farmer "What did you see?". The second farmer responded "I saw mountains and mountains of poop!". The reporter then asked the third farmer "What did YOU see?". The third farmer responded "I saw the monkey trying to stick the cork back in."
Pete
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER:
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket .
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
U.S. Type Set
Because a thread about the Beatles, Fred Flintstone, three farmers and pin the toupee is way more critically important in these times versus your library of well read Nancy Drew books.
@marcmoish Yep!
Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall?
A: Dam!
Smitten with DBLCs.
I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you that you need to be"saved" or else you'll "burn". Stupid Firemen
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
You might be able to fly under the radar in the random picture thread.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I left the bar feeling pretty good that early morning. Somewhere around 3am I started my way home. I live in a rural area so there's never nobody on the road. It was snowing so I was taking my time. That's when I noticed tire tracks in the snow in front of me. They were swerving all over the road, going completely off the road every now and then. I thought this SOB is more buzzed than I am, he's gonna kill himself. It was like he was playing chicken with the mailboxes, I was amazed I hadn't found him over an embankment. I continued to follow the tracks until I finally caught up to the newspaper man on his early morning route.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
My son asked me, what's it like to be married? So I deleted every song on his iPod except one.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I thought you were going to say YOU!
Post them there, I want to see the progress.
My YouTube Channel
Smart guy!
Our town has an ordinance about not nailing garage sale signs to light poles
Lafayette Grading Set
I came home from lunch yesterday and there was a Xfinity/Comcast/Optimum truck parked on the street.
The guy asked me what time it was, I replied, "Somewhere between 2 and 5."
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I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'.
But he hesitated.
Three college guys graduate, and go down to Mexico to celebrate. After a night of carousing, they wake up the next morning in jail. They don't remember what had happened or how they got there, but they were all scheduled for execution in the electric chair.
They ask the first kid if he had any ultimas palabras.
"I just graduated from Trinity Bible School with a degree in Theology, and I believe in the power of the Lord to save me."
They then flipped the switch, but nothing happened. All the prison staff fell to their knees, released the guy, and begged for forgiveness.
Then they strapped in the second kid.
"I just graduated from the University of Texas Law School, and I believe the power of justice and the Rule of Law to save me."
They flipped the switch, and again nothing happened. And once again, they were overcome with awe. They released him, and again begged forgiveness.
Then they strapped in the third kid.
"I'm an Aggie, who just graduated from Texas A&M with a degree in Electrical Engineering. And I'm here to tell you, this thing ain't never going to work unless you plug it in."
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Just for TomB...
Kids voice went up an octave after that
!
It depends on who was doing the moon.
The Mysterious Egyptian Magic Coin
Coins in Movies
Coins on Television
Pete
I once photoshopped one of my really dense co-workers into this meme. Everyone thought it was hysterical because it was spot on. I don't think she ever saw it.
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
Saw this in my neighborhood yesterday. Had to chuckle.
“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock." - Thomas Jefferson
My digital cameo album 1950-64 Cameos - take a look!
removed for wintergarden
Good thing he had a helmet on!
Sorry guys but I don't find a motorcyclist getting killed or very seriously injured to be humorous.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
me too, hey Hammer pls remove it.........................
I'm guessing you'd find this while golfing but I'm not sure.
Perspective is everything..
@dcarr - That's terrific - thanks for sharing! The match between Jim Backus and George Washington is really spot on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhdNbRvPU-E
.
.
And speaking of Jim Backus...this is a classic that I first heard on Dr. Demento:
My sister had a rough day today. She has asthma and today she was having a bad asthma attack. Just then the phone rang and it was an obscene caller.
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
@ErrorsOnCoins
WOW, I think I see why they changed it! Talk about cringeworthy....
That's just creepy!
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
A man was putting his three-year-old daughter to bed, and advised her to say her prayers:
"God bless, mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa."
Dad thought that last comment was peculiar, so he let it go. The next day, though, the family received word that Grandpa had died of a stroke.
The next night, the man was putting his child to bed, and she prayed:
"God bless mommy, God bless daddy, and good-bye Grandma."
The very next day, the grandmother died suddenly of a heart attack. The family was in shock, but none more than daddy.
That night, the child prayed:
"God bless mommy, and good-bye daddy."
By now, daddy was convinced this kid had some conduit to the Great Beyond, and spent the next day in horror. He was at the office, watching the clock. For some reason feeling safer there, he stayed until midnight. Massively relieved, he came home.
His wife asked him why he'd been so late. He told her it'd been the worse day of his life. She said, "You think YOU had a bad day. This afternoon, the mailman dropped dead on our porch!"
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...