Numismatically themed Chuck Norris jokes - resurrected 2019 because it's funny

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  • guitarwes
    guitarwes Posts: 9,308 ✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris gets his one day submissions returned to him the day before he submits them.

    Chuck Norris has "Zero-Strike" label certified coins. "First Strike" labels are for everyone else.

    The 1888 "Hot Lips" Morgan Dollar once got a whiff of Chuck Norris after working out.

    The US Mint will never produce a Chuck Norris Commemorative coin......no one would ever buy any other coin ever again.

    Every double die in history was created when Chuck Norris sneezed once.
    @ Elite CNC Routing & Woodworks on Facebook. Check out my work.
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  • rhedden
    rhedden Posts: 6,650 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    What's more beat up than a holed, PO-01 Morgan? Chuck Norris' pocket piece.

  • rhedden
    rhedden Posts: 6,650 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    What's the real reason behind gradeflation? Chuck Norris submitted a bunch of low-end Morgans for regrade.



    A novice asks, "what is a PQ coin exactly?" You say, "one that Chuck Norris just brought to your table at a show."



    Why did they stop making beautiful Walkers and start minting those ugly Franklins in 1948? Chuck Norris wished for it at his 8th birthday party.



    Chuck Norris made his first PCGS submission the other day, and they finally expanded the grading scale from 70 to 100.



    Sigh........Chuck Norris won the PCGS grading contest again- because everyone else withdrew.



    How did someone's smashed finger end up inside a PCGS MS-66 slab?! Oh, never mind- it says Chuck Norris Collection on the label.



    There is no Santa Claus in numismatics- Chuck Norris killed him.

  • asheland
    asheland Posts: 24,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    *If Chuck Norris doesn't get the grades he wants, it's the graders who end up in the body bags, not the coins.


    image

    (much needed bump!)

    My YouTube Channel

  • nencoin
    nencoin Posts: 1,323 ✭✭✭✭
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    Originally posted by: rhedden

    What's the real reason behind gradeflation? Chuck Norris submitted a bunch of low-end Morgans for regrade.



    A novice asks, "what is a PQ coin exactly?" You say, "one that Chuck Norris just brought to your table at a show."



    Why did they stop making beautiful Walkers and start minting those ugly Franklins in 1948? Chuck Norris wished for it at his 8th birthday party.



    Chuck Norris made his first PCGS submission the other day, and they finally expanded the grading scale from 70 to 100.



    Sigh........Chuck Norris won the PCGS grading contest again- because everyone else withdrew.



    How did someone's smashed finger end up inside a PCGS MS-66 slab?! Oh, never mind- it says Chuck Norris Collection on the label.



    There is no Santa Claus in numismatics- Chuck Norris killed him.





    These are fantastic!! image



    Northeastcoin.com
  • panexpoguy
    panexpoguy Posts: 1,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris doesn't submit coins by mailing them to PCGS, he submits them with a rear naked choke until they tap out.
  • asheland
    asheland Posts: 24,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    image

    My YouTube Channel

  • johnny9434
    johnny9434 Posts: 34,117 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    this is some good stuff image
  • pmac
    pmac Posts: 3,189 ✭✭✭
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    Dos Equis asks Chuck Norris if it's alright to run its next "Most Interesting Man" ad.
    Paul
  • Kccoin
    Kccoin Posts: 1,086 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris fans typically focus on one series - Walkers

    PCGS has yet to holder a Chuck Norris coin - plastic cannot contain that much awesome!



    Great thread! Love the OP and seven steps
  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    image Good to see this resurrected..... Cheers, RickO
  • panexpoguy
    panexpoguy Posts: 1,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    The press at the US Mint is actually Chuck Norris with a Thigh Master
  • asheland
    asheland Posts: 24,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    image

    My YouTube Channel

  • lordmarcovan
    lordmarcovan Posts: 45,340 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Brilliant! image



    Especially this one:





    *If Chuck Norris doesn't get the grades he wants, it's the graders who end up in the body bags, not the coins.





    Collector since 1976. On the CU forums here since 2001.

  • oih82w8
    oih82w8 Posts: 13,212 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    These are always great!
    oih82w8 = Oh I Hate To Wait _defectus patientia_aka...Dr. Defecto - Curator of RMO's

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  • nencoin
    nencoin Posts: 1,323 ✭✭✭✭
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    Got a new one for the list:

    There are approximately 10,450 known die varieties, while another 6,000 to 7,000 have been reported as verifiable. A die variety is defined as "any method in which Chuck Norris can make you die." For a comprehensive list (with full color pictures and instructions), pick up a copy of The Buttkickers' Guide Volume I and II.

    Northeastcoin.com
  • Barndog
    Barndog Posts: 20,530 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    JR Newsletter Online Edition
  • messydesk
    messydesk Posts: 20,829 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris is the ultimate finalizer.

    That coin doesn't have a huge dent, Chuck Norris thumbed it.

    Washington threw a coin across the Potomac. Chuck Norris threw it across Washington.

    John
    Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
  • panexpoguy
    panexpoguy Posts: 1,239 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris can't handle his own coins because when he does, PCGS sends them back as 'tooled'

    When Chuck Norris said he was going to start pinching pennies, ten of them got together and became a dime.

  • SeattleSlammer
    SeattleSlammer Posts: 10,125 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris owns one of every coin, including all of yours.

    Chuck Norris cracks slabs just by lookin' at 'em.

    Chuck Norris only leaves '09-S VDBs in the penny tray.

  • Onedollarnohollar
    Onedollarnohollar Posts: 2,035 ✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris doesn't walk the bourse -- the bourse walks to him

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    "What do you do when Chuck Norris puts his arm around your wife? Nothing...absolutely nothing."

    THAT is hilarious..... excellent post...Cheers, RickO

  • thebeav
    thebeav Posts: 4,118 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @bidask said:
    I sparred with Bill 'superfoot' Wallace once.

    Bill Wallace is my all time favorite. Not to slight Chuck, also a great guy......
    Saw Wallace interview Manute Bol one time. He spun around and had his foot right in Bol's face. Not an easy task for a face that is 7' 7" above ground.

    My Ebay Coin Store
  • ModCrewman
    ModCrewman Posts: 4,054 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris buys toned coins, but they immediately turn a pale white after they see him. He then retones them himself - in shades of black and blue.

  • asheland
    asheland Posts: 24,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    That's a great picture!

    My YouTube Channel

  • Walkerfan
    Walkerfan Posts: 10,392 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    When Chuck submits to CAC; he doesn't get green or gold----he gets diamond stickers.

    Sometimes, it’s better to be LUCKY than good. 🍀 🍺👍

    My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947):

    https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/

  • Onedollarnohollar
    Onedollarnohollar Posts: 2,035 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2, 2016 3:56PM
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    Chuck Norris NEVER drips mustard on his Hawaiin shirt ... that's just blood spatter from the last yellow-bellied dude that tried to sell him a counterfeit coin. Unless, of course, YOU want to tell him that he dripped mustard on his Hawaiin shirt.

  • Onedollarnohollar
    Onedollarnohollar Posts: 2,035 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2, 2016 4:10PM
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    little known fact...CPG actually stands for.....Chuck's Permission Granted..... I always love the grades my coins are assigned........I really do....they're always exactly right Chuck...... :p

  • 1Mike1
    1Mike1 Posts: 4,445 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck is so fast that when he jumps up and down his change levitates so he can make change and then he catches it back in his pocket..... the opposite pocket. He figures it's a waste of time to wait for it to drop when he can turn around and start walking before that.

    "May the silver waves that bear you heavenward be filled with love’s whisperings"

    "A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
  • nencoin
    nencoin Posts: 1,323 ✭✭✭✭
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    I brought a blog post regarding this topic on our website back to life, so I thought I'd do so here also. Any new entries?

    Northeastcoin.com
  • jabba
    jabba Posts: 3,177 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Drag such a post back up on the lone wolf have you no shame man!


    https://www.pcgs.com/setregistry/quarters/washington-quarters-major-sets/washington-quarters-date-set-circulation-strikes-1932-present/publishedset/209923

    https://www.pcgs.com/setregistry/quarters/washington-quarters-major-sets/washington-quarters-date-set-circulation-strikes-1932-present/album/209923

  • CaptHenway
    CaptHenway Posts: 34,177 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    If Norris, Gregg and Norris were making California gold coins today, Gregg would change his name to Norris!

    Professional Numismatist, Retired. 55 year member ANA. Former ANA Senior Authenticator. Winner of four ANA Heath Literary Awards; three Wayte and Olga Raymond Literary Awards; Numismatist of the Year Award 2009, and ANA Lifetime Achievement Award 2020. Winner of the PNG's 2026 Robert Friedberg Award for "The Enigmatic Lincoln Cents of 1922," Available now from Whitman or Amazon.
  • TurboSnail
    TurboSnail Posts: 1,669 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris doesn't search for mint error . He made his own at PCGS's drive way.

  • asheland
    asheland Posts: 24,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Glad to see this thread back! :D

    My YouTube Channel

  • ricko
    ricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    :D:D Good to see this again.... I went back to the beginning and chuckled some more...Cheers, RickO

  • Hemispherical
    Hemispherical Posts: 9,370 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    LOL!

  • donzme
    donzme Posts: 172 ✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris flipped a coin. NASA sent a probe to Mars to see if it landed heads or tails.

  • Walkerfan
    Walkerfan Posts: 10,392 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck doesn't have to use MS70 on his rare copper because it's all already graded MS70. :D

    Sometimes, it’s better to be LUCKY than good. 🍀 🍺👍

    My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947):

    https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/

  • MrEureka
    MrEureka Posts: 24,782 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris just gave up on his Registry Set of Mercury Dimes.

    Andy Lustig

    Doggedly collecting coins of the Central American Republic.
    Visit the Society of US Pattern Collectors at USPatterns.com.
  • messydesk
    messydesk Posts: 20,829 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    After Chuck Norris sends in a coin for Presidential Review, there's a new president.

    The reason presses are measured in tons of pressure is that the numbers needed to measure them in Chuck Norrises are too small.

    The mint designed a beautiful coin in 1995. Chuck Norris gave it a funny look and now we have the Shr*ver commem.

    John
    Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
  • BJandTundra
    BJandTundra Posts: 401 ✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris can order all the coins he wants from the US MInt. Who's going to tell him there is a household limit?

  • jabba
    jabba Posts: 3,177 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    When the mint needs coins they call on Chuck to punch them out😂
    Maybe that’s why everything goes on back order he can’t be everywhere.


    https://www.pcgs.com/setregistry/quarters/washington-quarters-major-sets/washington-quarters-date-set-circulation-strikes-1932-present/publishedset/209923

    https://www.pcgs.com/setregistry/quarters/washington-quarters-major-sets/washington-quarters-date-set-circulation-strikes-1932-present/album/209923

  • mustangmanbob
    mustangmanbob Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Stupid trivia. My oldest 2 children studied Karate under Chuck Norris's program at their school. He personally awarded them their belts. Both kids got extra spending money be being extras on the Walker Texas Ranger TV program. One time, I was late walking from the parking lot into the school for a belt award ceremony, and a man came up to me and asked if I knew where the awards were being presented. It was Clarence Gilyard, the other star of the show. We just walked and chatted for a while.

  • GotTheBug
    GotTheBug Posts: 1,725 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 12, 2019 4:45AM
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    .

  • asheland
    asheland Posts: 24,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @bolivarshagnasty said:
    Chuck Norris once closed Heather Boyd's thread.

    :D:D:D:D

    My YouTube Channel

  • messydesk
    messydesk Posts: 20,829 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    @bolivarshagnasty said:
    Chuck Norris once closed Heather Boyd's thread.

    You should have tagged @HeatherBoyd so that she could join in the fun.

    John
    Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
  • CircCam
    CircCam Posts: 338 ✭✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris once graded 10,000 California Fractional gold coins in a single night in his suite AT The Hotel California, and then left without checking out.

  • Onedollarnohollar
    Onedollarnohollar Posts: 2,035 ✭✭✭✭
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    Chuck Norris has a secret handshake, and nobody's survived to talk about it.

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