Numismatically themed Chuck Norris jokes - resurrected 2019 because it's funny
nencoin
Posts: 1,263 ✭✭✭✭
Some of you are probably familiar with the popular Chuck Norris jokes. Ones like these:
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
or
Chuck Norris was an only child...eventually.
Well, one evening after work a few of us here met for Mai Tais at the Chinese restaurant below our office. We began scratching out some coin-related Chuck Norris jokes. Easy to do after a potent Mai Tai. For those who appreciate the regular Chuck Norris jokes, I invite you to read on and add any that you can come up with.
*Chuck Norris' coins consistently grade MS71.
*All of Chuck Norris' coins come back from CAC with a platinum sticker.
*Chuck Norris doesn't submit to PCGS. They submit to him.
*Chuck Norris made the Seated Liberty stand up.
*The Sheldon Scale is being changed to suit Chuck Norris. Gem coins are no longer MS65; they are CS65, or Chuck State 65.
*If Chuck Norris doesn't get the grades he wants, it's the graders who end up in the body bags, not the coins.
*Poorly struck coins are actually just coins that Chuck Norris squeezed too tightly.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
or
Chuck Norris was an only child...eventually.
Well, one evening after work a few of us here met for Mai Tais at the Chinese restaurant below our office. We began scratching out some coin-related Chuck Norris jokes. Easy to do after a potent Mai Tai. For those who appreciate the regular Chuck Norris jokes, I invite you to read on and add any that you can come up with.
*Chuck Norris' coins consistently grade MS71.
*All of Chuck Norris' coins come back from CAC with a platinum sticker.
*Chuck Norris doesn't submit to PCGS. They submit to him.
*Chuck Norris made the Seated Liberty stand up.
*The Sheldon Scale is being changed to suit Chuck Norris. Gem coins are no longer MS65; they are CS65, or Chuck State 65.
*If Chuck Norris doesn't get the grades he wants, it's the graders who end up in the body bags, not the coins.
*Poorly struck coins are actually just coins that Chuck Norris squeezed too tightly.
9
Comments
They seem to cross with The Most Interesting Man in the World.
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Got my ass kicked.
I give away money. I collect money.
I don’t love money . I do love the Lord God.
I sparred with Bill 'superfoot' Wallace once.
Got my ass kicked.
Since I am in Florida, I have had reasons to meet him a few times.
Interesting fact: Bill Wallace is the one that discovered John Belushi dead.
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I know.......
"If I say something in the woods and my wife isn't there to hear it.....am I still wrong?"
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I can hear him now. "Yeah … that's my thumbprint ". Did it hurt ?
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If this is offensive, you could be a numismatist.
I'm not up on this. Is Chuck a coin collector?
Google Chuck Norris jokes.
BHNC #203
I'm not up on this. Is Chuck a coin collector?
here ya go:
Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts & Jokes
Browse through the top 50 Chuck Norris Facts.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his front room ...its not dead it just doesn't dare move
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris' lunch was stolen during a camping trip. No one has seen Big Foot ever since.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't give the wrong answer, you ask the wrong question
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on the sun.
The police have new bullet proof vest, it's a T-shirt with Chuck Norris printed on it.
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Water boils faster when Chuck Norris is watching
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When someone fires a gun at Chuck Norris, the bullets dodge him.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying gl*****. At night.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
BHNC #203
I know the arrow P arrow, but how do you do that?
BHNC #203
Very funny! I love Chuck Norris jokes!
X100
My YouTube Channel
My YouTube Channel
Chuck Norris wears safety gl*****es while he looks at his coins, to protect the coins from his eyes.
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Chuck know martial arts and cracks coins out with his bare hands . He has no need for the Bean. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.
If this is offensive, you could be a numismatist.
i can think of a few dealers i could have done that to. (more then likely done to me after i left
*The Greysheet Ask price is irrelevant to Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris never asks for anything.
*Chuck Norris achieved the number one Registry Set ranking for Morgan Dollars even though he's never bought a Morgan Dollar in his life.
*Chuck Norris cracks out coins barehanded...with one hand.
*PCGS blackout dates to not apply to Chuck Norris.
Chuck know martial arts and cracks coins out with his bare hands . He has no need for the Bean. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.
If this is offensive, you could be a numismatist.
THAT IS CLASSIC!
when i was younger, i'd love to watch mr. bean, chuck, not so much.
BUT on the youtube, 1:100 chuck joke made me lol
.
.
I'm not up on this. Is Chuck a coin collector?
here ya go:
Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts & Jokes
Browse through the top 50 Chuck Norris Facts.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his front room ...its not dead it just doesn't dare move
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris' lunch was stolen during a camping trip. No one has seen Big Foot ever since.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't give the wrong answer, you ask the wrong question
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on the sun.
The police have new bullet proof vest, it's a T-shirt with Chuck Norris printed on it.
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Water boils faster when Chuck Norris is watching
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
When someone fires a gun at Chuck Norris, the bullets dodge him.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying gl*****. At night.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
My YouTube Channel
Chuck Norris counterstamps coins with a thumb-print.
Nobody questions Chuck Norris' toning.
Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
Chuck Norris owns a 1934 Saint double eagle and a 1965 peace dollar.
Chuck Norris gets his Economy submissions back the next day
Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
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Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
That's all I got.
My YouTube Channel
That was my favorite!