A Troubling Phone Call
messydesk
Posts: 20,375 ✭✭✭✭✭
I received a phone call from a coin friend (A) of mine who had been trying to reach another mutual coin friend (B) of ours for a couple months and was getting worried about him. Friend A asked me to e-mail Friend B to make sure all was well, and to forward an e-mail address to make sure he had the right one. I did this a couple days ago.
Today, I received another call from Friend A, despondent about hearing back from Friend B in the form of an e-mail terminating their friendship purely based on last year's presidential election. Gang, this is supposed to be a fun hobby, where we can escape reality and enjoy a common interest and each other's company without discussing, acknowledging, or even knowing political inclinations. I'm hopeful that time will heal this friendship, but in the mean time, all I can do is editorialize here about it, so that's what I'm doing.
- Life's too short to let your feelings be controlled by politicians.
- This is a hobby that is most fun when shared with others.
- Some of the best things you will take away from numismatics is the relationships.
- Never judge someone's value as a person by their political affiliations.
FUN is in a couple weeks. When you are out to dinner with people you haven't seen in a year or more, be thankful for the friendships that you have with people who share your love for this hobby.
Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
Comments
What a bunch of foolishness.
There's a reason there are screens around polling booths. I learned all I needed to know after my wife was elected to our local school board. Even in a purely volunteer position, the opposition, name-calling, ill-will, rumors, and flat-out lies were beyond what I could have imagined. Previous friends and neighbors abandoned us in droves. Anonymous letters to the local paper reflected primarily the ignorance of those who wrote them but they still stung.
Politics in nasty business and even good people from similar backgrounds can have very real differences in the way they view things. A true friend is a rare thing and should be cherished. Losing a friend over the result of an election is idiocy.
Sounds to me like person B was not much of a friend to begin with, and person A will be better off without person B. I can not imagine dumping a friend over a petty difference like that.
Pretty straight forward, friend b wasn’t really a friend
Well said. I agree 10,000%! P.S. Friend 'B' needs help.
Dave
People should try to keep their sense of humor, everything hopefully comes around in the end, people change their views.
Anyone letting a presidential election steer their feelings of friendship needs therapy.
I can pretty much guess how A and B each voted based on the situation.
All I can say is, it is sad. People should leave politics out of the hobby as much as possible.
I have always seen our political system as a pendulum - it swings one way for a while, then it swings the other way, and so on. Everyone gets their turn at being happy and with being unhappy with the results of an election. Lately, though, I get the feeling that some people want to grab the pendulum and permanently anchor it on their side of the spectrum.
Mr. B in your scenario is too selfish and shortsighted to realize (or care) that Mr. A would have been just as disappointed had the election gone the other way.
politics should occur on Facebook and only Facebook.
Hard feelings over political outcomes is the beginning of the end of democracy.
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People have gone completely off the deep end this past year. It's become beyond sad in many ways.
Well stated, messydesk......I 'liked' what you said, and will try to live by it, and occasionally for point 3, will try substituting other words for numismatics, like fishing, concerts, etc.
I had a significant romantic interest end our relationship about August 2016 because I was a supporter of Donald Trump.
As we say in Bridge (card game) ........I got Trumped. and I was bidding seven no-trump........
OINK
Some people just DON'T understand friendship.
Just ask a combat Vet they know that petty things are not important.
...forgetaboutit
I can relate. I'm a life long conservative. My wife of three years not so much. After the election she built a pillow wall in our bed to separate us and I didn't even vote for DJT! If I would have she probably would have built a moat with alligators in our bed. It's is a California King
mark
Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
My best friend is of the opposite party and watches a certain network incessantly. We get along because we remind ourselves that if there were THREE political parties we’d be in the same one - smack dab in the middle.
@messydesk said: "Today, I received another call from Friend A, despondent about hearing back from Friend B in the form of an e-mail terminating their friendship purely based on last year's presidential election. Gang, this is supposed to be a fun hobby, where we can escape reality and enjoy a common interest and each other's company without discussing, acknowledging, or even knowing political inclinations. I'm hopeful that time will heal this friendship, but in the mean time, all I can do is editorialize here about it, so that's what I'm doing.
No one can argue with your post. However, there are many things to consider.
This is the BIG ONE: Our coins and our hobbies don't affect our lives, our country, and our future (except the profits from buying right and forming a desirable collection.). Politicians and their policies do! Please keep that in mind.
It is unfortunate that some people cannot talk about politics or religion in a calm way as that is how we learn new things. I do not have some of the same opinions I did in the past because someone changed my mind with provable facts. I cannot give examples as that breaks the rules around here. Since it is best to be around others who hold the same beliefs as we do, sometimes friendships change. I agree with you that it is unfortunate.
PS I have watched a friendship change over a dispute about a coin at a coin show.
I used to be strongly affiliated with a party. Now, I just try to vote my conscience and actually do a little research about the candidates & issues. One I realized I only got one vote it seemed less important to dwell so much on the talking heads.
Sounds like it's time to find a good divorce lawyer.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Nah, she is totally hot and a great person. Perhaps the greatest I know. We are more then happy
m
Happy Holidays from the MJ's
Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
Messydesk... a lot of wisdom in your 4 points. I agree completely.
I get along with my friends - we all despised both candidates in the last presidential election.
This whole thing saddens me. How many of the people that "abandoned us in droves" would volunteer to run themselves?
It's like that in a lot of situations. This is just one.
In addition to the above.........I personally would NEVER let a politician get in the way of a friendship!
Pete
I remember the old saying , “ Never discuss politics and religion.”
Some people just never learn.
I always keep my political opinion to myself and my religious viewpoints I consider private and personal.
Smart. Good discipline. My father had the same rules at the dinner table. The other 23.5 hours a day at my house was mayhem
mark
Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pockets you better use them to call a tailor. Stay thirsty my friends......
It goes both ways.....I reconnected with two old friends I have not been in touch with for about 45 years,,,,,all due to the Presidential election. One was a Dem and one was a Rep.
I'm an Independent!!
Therefore I can argue with them both!
bob
Having known both people for several years, I'm going to disagree. We were both shocked by his message.
He let himself become poisoned with political acrimony. As I said earlier, I hope that over time this gets better, although I imagine that, in extreme cases, fixing a situation like this could be similar to deprogramming someone who was in a cult.
Keeper of the VAM Catalog • Professional Coin Imaging • Prime Number Set • World Coins in Early America • British Trade Dollars • Variety Attribution
I got elected our school board in 2014. After getting 30,000 votes I thought it was a good thing, then the nastiness came out and I learned that people will turn on you quick.
Indian Head $10 Gold Date Set Album
Even on Facebook you need to bite your cheek as it's not worth ending a friendship since childhood.
My Brother and I are quite the opposite in political parties and beliefs. We used to bicker back and forth for hrs and I finally said enough. You believe the way you want and I'll do the same, we just won't discuss politics any further.
We now get along great.
Later, Paul.
ive had worse
Some people defend their choice of Political leaders more than they would their own children (or friends).
I say 'balderdash'!!
99% of political leaders break their promises (and lie) to get to the top, so if you buy into their 'koolaid' then all I can say is God bless you and good luck with that.
I'm all for standing up for one's country, but to get behind one of these political Yahoos and think they're going to turn the world into a utopia....forget it brother.
Enjoy life and cherish your friends and family.
"“Those who sacrifice liberty for security/safety deserve neither.“(Benjamin Franklin)
"I only golf on days that end in 'Y'" (DE59)
Was getting a root canal shortly before the election. The nice dental assistant asked who I wanted to win and I answered.
Probably unwise as she had access to really sharp stuff.
I know your works. You are neither cold nor hot. So because you are lukewarm, I will spew you out of my mouth. -Bill The Butcher
Storm clouds on the horizon. It's all very troubling. Brother against Brother. We've been there before. Let's hope not again.
I've had a few "Friend B"'s this past year. They just proved to me they were toxic and I missed it.
I'm the type that doesn't accept "friends" easily. Most people are "acquaintances" to me.
When you get into my small "friend" circle, I don't if you don't believe the same way I do. I'll do anything I can to help you out if I can. However, I can't handle those who lie to me, particularly if they don't own up to it. I don't care if my friend votes same way I do or differently. I may give them a hard time...I may question why they do it...but I will still do what I can to help them.
Those that drop "friends" over politicians? Well, they deserve the politicians they supported and may they burn in hell. Either side, I don't care.
I've been told I tolerate fools poorly...that may explain things if I have a problem with you. Current ebay items - Nothing at the moment
This popped into my head in regards to Friend A & B in the OP;
"Brother killing brother for the profit of another
Game point, nobody wins"
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WELL SAID.
If someone is willing to terminate a friendship because someone voted for a particular candidate, said person is not a friend, and I would not want such a person for a friend.
I am old and I have always voted in every national and statewide election in which I was eligible to vote. I usually wind up voting for whom I believe to be the lesser of two evils; I rarely like anyone who is running. This time, I thought the lesser of two evils was Trump.
I made it clear that I didn't have a problem with anyone who felt differently than I did - which was every single person in my immediate and extended family, and most of my good friends. My wife hasn't divorced me (though we did have some heated discussions), and no one has dropped off of my social calendar.
The beauty of hobbies is precisely what MessyDesk spoke of. In addition to collecting coins, I used to run marathons and ultramarathons, I'm an avid traveler and photographer, and speak several languages. When I get together with people who share these passions we focus on them. We do this because it brings joy to our lives. And that's what is should all be about.
"Seu cabra da peste,
"Sou Mangueira......."
I can imagine the make up conversation... C'mon honey, lets get rid of the gator, together we can "drain the swamp." click click boom
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
I agree with the original post.
BUT, at the same time, some people are just nuts and like to work politics into almost every Facebook post, email, phone call, meal, discussion etc etc...as if they are trying to convince you (or themselves) that their line of thinking is the only correct one. These types of people are freaking annoying, regardless of party affiliation and regardless if you agree with them or NOT! They really believe that what they say, over and over and over and over again, is going to change the position of the person with whom they are communicating. Some topics are best left alone! Politics and Religion are two of these topics. Do not bring this garbage up with casual friends. You will be greatly disappointed and end up with half as many friends. When you sit around with extended family at Thanksgiving, for example, it is commonly known that you shouldn't bring up the topics of politics, religion, gender orientation relationships, money, recent hardships of people at the table etc etc....unless of course you just want a fight and want to piss off half the people there. That's just not what Thanksgiving is supposed to be. I bet if the people in the original post stuck by this general rule, they would still be great friends today. But since they had a falling out over this, I would venture to guess that one of them, if not both, are the just plain NUTS type and tend to work politics into just about every conversation, even if it is just a small hint of it. It's their own fault. Common sense will carry you far through life but we also know that common sense isn't very common.
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So, Al; any indication which direction you lean?
There is a disturbing trend that has been following the dumbing-down of America over the past 40 years:
""You MUST agree with me so that I feel validated and don't ask me to support my position with logic or facts.""
Nearly all intelligent debate now deteriorates into name-calling and demonizing.
Cable news lets you pick your side and is a drum-beat for the things you already believe.
Democracy is headed for trouble if this continues.
Commems and Early Type
It's extremely difficult to keep an open mind on any issue that's presented as "news" without a branded ideology being shoved down ones throat- I'd suggest this is being done purposefully; with the intent to divide our country, and further erode your rights, while keeping the belief alive that it's the other party's fault. What was once considered healthy when it comes to questioning events, motives, and the direction of this country is now mocked as, "conspiratorial," and "tin-foil." Where is the good investigative journalism???
What concerns me the most is when I hear from a relative, "I get my news from this source, or, that source because it's true" or, "I listen to this talk show host, or, that one because they know what's going on in our country." You know what I say...THINK FOR YOURSELF! Don't become a corporate media parrot that regurgitates every piece of mind numbing divisive sound bite, or, you will become that, and start either unfriending people, hating neighbors, loathing family, or, worse...
It's best to focus on what's behind the curtain...
You took the words out of my mouth !
Telling that a few days before Christmas 2017, we are discussing the election from 2016 on a coin forum.
.> @JBK said:
We have as many assholes at the extremes as you do on yours. Whichever side that might be.
i have never lost friends over political issues, most times we just drift out of touch cause of where we live or whatever
but never lost any to political or religious issues cause i keep out of such issues
those who are laughed at always have the last laugh
That foolishness plays out on these boards daily.