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July 14, 1861 - A Poignant Love Letter
Catbert
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I was watching the first episode of the rerun of Ken Burns Civil War series this evening. For those of us who are inspired by the history behind our coinage, you may already be famiar with this famous letter written by Union soldier Sullivan Ballou who sent this before his death one week later at the Battle of Bull Run. I'm going to reprint it here and also post the reverse of an AU half dollar (I don't have one from 1861) that nonetheless speaks to me given its crustiness and to my imagination for those transformational years in our country.
Camp Clark, Washington
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
--Sullivan
Source
Camp Clark, Washington
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
--Sullivan
Source
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"Got a flaming heart, can't get my fill"
"Got a flaming heart, can't get my fill"
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Wow!
Looking for Top Pop Mercury Dime Varieties & High Grade Mercury Dime Toners.
Tom
People just don't write/speak like that letter anymore. It was a nice post.
"So here's to all the soldiers who have ever died in vain"
Ships That Don't Come In
Joe Diffie (written by Gibson/Nelson)
Regular Joe (1992)
1861 3CS
1861/0 H10C
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Here are some 1861 dated items.
Many of the 1861 dated gold coins are common for the era because the Union side thought that the war would be over quickly, and that they could pay for it in gold. The Union officials knew that wasn't going to be case by the end of year. By 1862 Lincoln was despairing that the Union was broke (among many other problems), and "The bottom is out of the tub."
My YouTube Channel
- The voice of Paul Roebling
- Add in "Ashokan Farewell" three part fiddle tune in the background.
Gold.
Ashokan Farewell, is a modern piece, not from the day of the civil war, composed by Jay Unger.
Civil war songs that never existed, for your enjoyment, by Ken Burns.
Richard Rogers did the same thing for his "Victory at Sea" music that he wrote for that highly successful early TV series. Ditto for James Horner's music from "Titanic," and John Williams' work for "Schindler's List." If every period piece had to be supported by music from that period, striking the right historical mood would be infinitely more difficult.
I always liked that style of writing, the writer must have been an educated man.
Writing is an lost art form these days.
I recently found out that 'Cursive' writing is no longer taught in our schools, is a shame....
I went to a Catholic school, each letter was an art form in itself.
Thank You for posting this, was so very sad.
<< <i>The theme music from "Gone With the Wind" by Max Steiner makes me think of southern plantations and the old South. " Ashokan Farewell" set just the right mood for the Civil War series although I'm sure some people got tired of hearing it throughout the 20+ hours of the series. >>
Never tire of hearing Ashoken. Learned it on guitar from listening to the tune endlessly.
<< <i>If every period piece had to be supported by music from that period, striking the right historical mood would be infinitely more difficult. >>
Yep.
<< <i>Richard Rogers did the same thing for his "Victory at Sea" music that he wrote for that highly successful early TV series. Ditto for James Horner's music from "Titanic," and John Williams' work for "Schindler's List." If every period piece had to be supported by music from that period, striking the right historical mood would be infinitely more difficult. >>
My take - KB should have lived in the world of "composed in" not Jay Unger modern tunes, whatever, makes no difference in the end, who cares.,
YMMV.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY1lmeL22jg
So tremendous.
Thanks for posting. While I'd caught parts of the series I'd missed this letter.