Would this situation upset you?
mumu
Posts: 1,840
OK this happened a few weeks ago now and I didn't post it then because I was initially somewhat upset about it and didn't want to start something that got out of hand. But a few weeks later this has still left a bad taste in my mouth and I wanted to present it rationally because I still think its kind of messed up thing to do even though I am over it on a personal level.
Back when I had the consignment back out problem on ebay that some of you may be familiar with, I had a lot of people reach out and offer help. Mostly in the form of buying coins from me at my asking price with no haggle and even an offer for a flat out loan(which I immensfully thankfully refused). In total I sold about 8-10 coins on here all of which I would consder for "strong money" but all of them in the upper widget category so nothing where anyone overpaid by hundreds or anything like that. I also offered to buy back every coin at a later date no questions asked if the people so chose.(quick update - i paid ebay down a lot but they still shut me down and cut off my ability to keep selling things into paypal)
Ok so one particular member was initally VERY helpful and supportive. He bought my 2 most expensive offerings, one of ~650 and offered $1400 for another which I accepted even though it was a 500$ loss for me, and a 3rd coin for 100$. Under the circumstances I didnt care about the 500 loss. He made a comment that he was willing to overpay for my coins in my time of need. So this was an important comment for the next part of the story.
After agreeing to these terms, we kept talking and he started telling me that he was a big shot at his company and could get me a job since I was unemployed for 18 months and couldnt find work and was out of my home base since i moved to WI to be with my gf who had breast cancer. His company had offices about an hour away from me and he started saying things along the lines of "This job is 100% guaranteed yours, I just need to make one call and it will be handed to you as a favor to me from the manager there whom I know very well. I will call him tomorrow and let you know when to meet him". Im like OK awesome. I was in awe at how friendly and helpful a complete stranger could be when it is so often hard to get such help from even family members.
Anyway during our chatting I get an offer for the 1400$ coin that was $700 higher. At this point that amount would have helped substantially more and since he made the overpay comment, I offered him the chance to back out, allow me to make the bigger profit, and I would even knock off $100 of the other coin if he so chose. He said something along the lines "think big picture, the 700$ wont compare to this 6 figure job I am about to get you". So I said ok, no biggie, the coins are yours as we agreed, I just wanted to offer you the opportuntiy to get out of it if you so chose. I sent him the coins and that was that.
A few days go by and I dont hear back. The coins were delivered and I was hoping to get feedback on both the coins and how the job prospect was going. I sent a message and he replies very short..."I got the coins. Job was filled. Am out of town will contact later". OK, well that sucks but oh well.
He responds a few days later and says, hey, there is this other job. It is basically doing this XXXX (less glorified thing that I will leave private) and pays a lot less would you want that instead. I say Sure, I am in no position to be picky, I would do just about anything.
A few days go by and I dont hear anything until I get a message saying something like this "You made a post I dont like. I cant help you get a job. Good luck take care".
Im think WTH did i post that was so bad? I look around and didnt see anything THAT terible so I ask him to point out what it was that I said to change things around so suddenly. He refused to tell me. THIS is what has me upset the most. If you are going to judge someone at least be a man about it and do it openly. Or in the event that there was a misunderstanding at least allow for a chance that it be explained????
So what has me upset is that I feel this was a very careless way to play with someone's emotions when they are clearly down on their luck. I wont lie, for a brief moment I also thought it was a way of extorting coins from me, but I do not feel that way now. I dont think that is what hapened here so if anyone has that obvious thought as well, I dont think that is the case. I think it was more of a push around their big wig status with the abilty to get jobs at a calls notice and seem like a bigwig more than anything, though maybe I am wrong about that too. In any case given the sensitive nature of things, and not knowing how people might react to similar circunmstances as we have seen on these forums with taking it to the extreme(not saying at all I am that person to take it there), I just think a little more careful wording should have been used. What if this was the last thing I was holding on with hope for?
Lastly what left the 2nd most bitter taste was that after I messaged a 2nd time asking for an explanation on which post made things change suddenly and kinda calling him out a little on the possibility that he was just puffing his chest with an empty promise, he started to call me a thief and that I wasnt a man because I had been unemployed for so long and that a real man would have done more than me et cetera. This may have enraged someone a little more than it did me becasue I have been in fact humbled the past 2 years and my ego is not what it used to be so I answered some of his assumptions that were wrong and left it at that. For example I made a comment about making an offer on my coins at a later date and he blew up on me saying osmething like " There is no offer, if you want them you will pay what I paid, no haggling". I explained that the reason I used the word "offer" was because he would have the right to keep them if he so chose and the offer was in that context, not in the context that I would try and offer less. So at this point the communication stopped.
Anyway long post. Dramatic again which seems to be the theme here lately. I would have liked the job of course, but I am over that. I dont like the thief accusations and judgements of character. I even thought about leaving the board over this exchange because it put me in a weird place where he was helpful in buying my coins, but made me feel like sht afterward with pretty much no explanation. Thanks for any thoughts shared on this.
Back when I had the consignment back out problem on ebay that some of you may be familiar with, I had a lot of people reach out and offer help. Mostly in the form of buying coins from me at my asking price with no haggle and even an offer for a flat out loan(which I immensfully thankfully refused). In total I sold about 8-10 coins on here all of which I would consder for "strong money" but all of them in the upper widget category so nothing where anyone overpaid by hundreds or anything like that. I also offered to buy back every coin at a later date no questions asked if the people so chose.(quick update - i paid ebay down a lot but they still shut me down and cut off my ability to keep selling things into paypal)
Ok so one particular member was initally VERY helpful and supportive. He bought my 2 most expensive offerings, one of ~650 and offered $1400 for another which I accepted even though it was a 500$ loss for me, and a 3rd coin for 100$. Under the circumstances I didnt care about the 500 loss. He made a comment that he was willing to overpay for my coins in my time of need. So this was an important comment for the next part of the story.
After agreeing to these terms, we kept talking and he started telling me that he was a big shot at his company and could get me a job since I was unemployed for 18 months and couldnt find work and was out of my home base since i moved to WI to be with my gf who had breast cancer. His company had offices about an hour away from me and he started saying things along the lines of "This job is 100% guaranteed yours, I just need to make one call and it will be handed to you as a favor to me from the manager there whom I know very well. I will call him tomorrow and let you know when to meet him". Im like OK awesome. I was in awe at how friendly and helpful a complete stranger could be when it is so often hard to get such help from even family members.
Anyway during our chatting I get an offer for the 1400$ coin that was $700 higher. At this point that amount would have helped substantially more and since he made the overpay comment, I offered him the chance to back out, allow me to make the bigger profit, and I would even knock off $100 of the other coin if he so chose. He said something along the lines "think big picture, the 700$ wont compare to this 6 figure job I am about to get you". So I said ok, no biggie, the coins are yours as we agreed, I just wanted to offer you the opportuntiy to get out of it if you so chose. I sent him the coins and that was that.
A few days go by and I dont hear back. The coins were delivered and I was hoping to get feedback on both the coins and how the job prospect was going. I sent a message and he replies very short..."I got the coins. Job was filled. Am out of town will contact later". OK, well that sucks but oh well.
He responds a few days later and says, hey, there is this other job. It is basically doing this XXXX (less glorified thing that I will leave private) and pays a lot less would you want that instead. I say Sure, I am in no position to be picky, I would do just about anything.
A few days go by and I dont hear anything until I get a message saying something like this "You made a post I dont like. I cant help you get a job. Good luck take care".
Im think WTH did i post that was so bad? I look around and didnt see anything THAT terible so I ask him to point out what it was that I said to change things around so suddenly. He refused to tell me. THIS is what has me upset the most. If you are going to judge someone at least be a man about it and do it openly. Or in the event that there was a misunderstanding at least allow for a chance that it be explained????
So what has me upset is that I feel this was a very careless way to play with someone's emotions when they are clearly down on their luck. I wont lie, for a brief moment I also thought it was a way of extorting coins from me, but I do not feel that way now. I dont think that is what hapened here so if anyone has that obvious thought as well, I dont think that is the case. I think it was more of a push around their big wig status with the abilty to get jobs at a calls notice and seem like a bigwig more than anything, though maybe I am wrong about that too. In any case given the sensitive nature of things, and not knowing how people might react to similar circunmstances as we have seen on these forums with taking it to the extreme(not saying at all I am that person to take it there), I just think a little more careful wording should have been used. What if this was the last thing I was holding on with hope for?
Lastly what left the 2nd most bitter taste was that after I messaged a 2nd time asking for an explanation on which post made things change suddenly and kinda calling him out a little on the possibility that he was just puffing his chest with an empty promise, he started to call me a thief and that I wasnt a man because I had been unemployed for so long and that a real man would have done more than me et cetera. This may have enraged someone a little more than it did me becasue I have been in fact humbled the past 2 years and my ego is not what it used to be so I answered some of his assumptions that were wrong and left it at that. For example I made a comment about making an offer on my coins at a later date and he blew up on me saying osmething like " There is no offer, if you want them you will pay what I paid, no haggling". I explained that the reason I used the word "offer" was because he would have the right to keep them if he so chose and the offer was in that context, not in the context that I would try and offer less. So at this point the communication stopped.
Anyway long post. Dramatic again which seems to be the theme here lately. I would have liked the job of course, but I am over that. I dont like the thief accusations and judgements of character. I even thought about leaving the board over this exchange because it put me in a weird place where he was helpful in buying my coins, but made me feel like sht afterward with pretty much no explanation. Thanks for any thoughts shared on this.
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This discussion has been closed.
Comments
This thread has little to do with coins, but if what you say is true, you were treated rather poorly by the other party, IMO.
<< <i>Because of the length of the OP, I was tempted to skip it.
This thread has little to do with coins, but if what you say is true, you were treated rather poorly by the other party, IMO. >>
I know its a bit OT and only includes coins because the platform for the event was surrounded by a coin transaction and nothing else, but thanks for reading it anyway.
<< <i>Too convuluded... if it sounds too good to be true, it is. >>
Well unless the offer was to extort coins form me, which i am 99.99% was not the case, there really was no reason to not believe the job thing. There was no reason to throw the offer out unless it was a genuine attempt to help. That part doesnt concern me as much as the judgement and accusations.
<< <i>Because of the length of the OP, I was tempted to skip it. This thread has little to do with coins, but if what you say is true, you were treated rather poorly by the other party, IMO. >>
I did skip it but probably would have read it on a slow day or may do so later if I find myself stuck in a queue. --jerry
At any rate I'd be very skeptical about a 6-figure job '100% guarenteed' in this economy, that you hadn't even interviewed for, offered via PM's. But I'm sure it sounded wonderful in your situation (which I have been in, BTW, so I know about getting hopes up to have them later dashed). My only advice is to focus on this part of your post: I had a lot of people reach out and offer help.
Please do keep your hopes up and I hope that your situation turns around for you.
This serves as another reminder that talk is cheap.
<< <i>Sorry to hear all of that. Curiously, how did you get an offer of $700 more for the $1400 item after you had already sold it? Was it still listed for sale somewhere, or was someone just late in getting back to you, having seen it listed previously?
This serves as another reminder that talk is cheap. >>
I was about 45 minutes late in putting a sold tag on the BST listing.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Greg Hansen, Melbourne, FL Click here for any current EBAY auctions Multiple "Circle of Trust" transactions over 14 years on forum
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"Guess what, we have a XXX position open in that same market center. Base pay is 93k plus other bonus and incentives. Interested? It is a sweet job as long as you work 8-5 and give a sht. Let me know that you want it and I will start working some majic."
"Typically they aren't interviews, more of a favor. I saw your major was in math, that is all it is math and excel. It is 93k base, gas card, 401k, full medical, dental, vision, etc. It wouldn't take much for this to happen. I carry enough weight in the company. Annual guess with everything would 110-115k, probably not as much as you used to make, but beats XXXXX. Oh and stock options as we are privately held. My secretary retired after XX years with XX million dollars, my SECRETARY! This guy owes me a favor anyways. Not really an interview it would be more of an introduction and lunch."
"As long as you don't have a criminal background and can pass a drug screen I am sure the job is yours."
"All in all he is a good guy to work for, although you will be reporting to the RVP of the North."
and then:
"Mumu, I din't want to leave you hanging as that is not cool. Honestly, I was blown away, I mean floored by a post you made in a thread and I cannot in good faith move forward in helping you secure employment. I will sell you back your coins, at your cost when funds become availible and wish you nothing but the best of luck in your employment search, I just cannot help you. "
You will meet people who want to feel like a big man....right now...a savior.....but they really never care or cared about you. I have met two people like this so far. Lied to me about some stuff....needlessly.
These people are either sociopaths or second cousins to them. They lack character and are only out to get.
I have done what I will recommend to you.
Make sure you get everything from them that you deserve and no more. Make sure you give them everything you have promised....do not seek revenge.
Then, send them one long email explaining your take on things, then block their emails, defriend them on facebook, then tell everyone you know in private about their character but only tell the truth. Do this last thing not for revenge but so you can protect other people.
Then put it and more importantly them, behind you and never under any circumstances have anything again to do with them.
<< <i>I am not going to "out" this person because I dont want to start a fight. But to answer a couiple questions I got in PM about this job "guarantee" I am going to cut and paste exact quotes from the PM's as to the wording used about the job in case i read into it too much.
"Guess what, we have a XXX position open in that same market center. Base pay is 93k plus other bonus and incentives. Interested? It is a sweet job as long as you work 8-5 and give a sht. Let me know that you want it and I will start working some majic."
"Typically they aren't interviews, more of a favor. I saw your major was in math, that is all it is math and excel. It is 93k base, gas card, 401k, full medical, dental, vision, etc. It wouldn't take much for this to happen. I carry enough weight in the company. Annual guess with everything would 110-115k, probably not as much as you used to make, but beats XXXXX. Oh and stock options as we are privately held. My secretary retired after XX years with XX million dollars, my SECRETARY! This guy owes me a favor anyways. Not really an interview it would be more of an introduction and lunch."
"As long as you don't have a criminal background and can pass a drug screen I am sure the job is yours."
"All in all he is a good guy to work for, although you will be reporting to the RVP of the North."
and then:
"Mumu, I din't want to leave you hanging as that is not cool. Honestly, I was blown away, I mean floored by a post you made in a thread and I cannot in good faith move forward in helping you secure employment. I will sell you back your coins, at your cost when funds become availible and wish you nothing but the best of luck in your employment search, I just cannot help you. " >>
The person was an idiot, a liar or both, for talking about a job that way.
That aside, what about the part regarding his offer to sell the coins back to you at his cost? Did he go back on his word? If not, why not contact the person who had offered $700 more and try to get it done?
<< <i>
<< <i>I am not going to "out" this person because I dont want to start a fight. But to answer a couiple questions I got in PM about this job "guarantee" I am going to cut and paste exact quotes from the PM's as to the wording used about the job in case i read into it too much.
"Guess what, we have a XXX position open in that same market center. Base pay is 93k plus other bonus and incentives. Interested? It is a sweet job as long as you work 8-5 and give a sht. Let me know that you want it and I will start working some majic."
"Typically they aren't interviews, more of a favor. I saw your major was in math, that is all it is math and excel. It is 93k base, gas card, 401k, full medical, dental, vision, etc. It wouldn't take much for this to happen. I carry enough weight in the company. Annual guess with everything would 110-115k, probably not as much as you used to make, but beats XXXXX. Oh and stock options as we are privately held. My secretary retired after XX years with XX million dollars, my SECRETARY! This guy owes me a favor anyways. Not really an interview it would be more of an introduction and lunch."
"As long as you don't have a criminal background and can pass a drug screen I am sure the job is yours."
"All in all he is a good guy to work for, although you will be reporting to the RVP of the North."
and then:
"Mumu, I din't want to leave you hanging as that is not cool. Honestly, I was blown away, I mean floored by a post you made in a thread and I cannot in good faith move forward in helping you secure employment. I will sell you back your coins, at your cost when funds become availible and wish you nothing but the best of luck in your employment search, I just cannot help you. " >>
The person was an idiot, a liar or both, for talking about a job that way.
That aside, what about the part regarding his offer to sell the coins back to you at his cost? Did he go back on his word? If not, why not contact the person who had offered $700 more and try to get it done? >>
I am not in a position to buy the coins back yet. Far from it in fact. And I am not sure the other person was going to follow thru anyway(i wont get into THAT) I would like to own the coins again and plan on "making an offer" at some point.
<< <i>I've decide to be nice and not say a thing. It's one of my new years resolutions. When I see full blown idiocy on the board, I'm not going to say a thing. I won't feed the fires. Won't do it, can't make me. No sir! >>
So that resolution made it to the middle of January! Better than most.
<< <i>In addition to the airing of your personal drama on a coin forum, the part about stock options in a privately held company confused me. >>
Private companies issue shares of stock. They just aren't publicly traded unless the company does an IPO.
Russ, NCNE
<< <i>
<< <i>In addition to the airing of your personal drama on a coin forum, the part about stock options in a privately held company confused me. >>
Private companies issue shares of stock. They just aren't publicly traded unless the company does an IPO.
Russ, NCNE >>
Even that has changed in recent years as there is a big market for private stock that are traded for all intents and purposes in a public fashion. Facebook stock being the latest big name company to have a big buzz around it with these.
Sounds like a bunch of crap. There was never a 6 figure job for you, nor is he a big-wig in this company, nor did his secretary put away XX millions of dollars. Sounds like a boiler house operation trying to scam people. You are lucky things ended abruptly. He did you a favor. The only thing possibly factual is that the guy carries weight around his company...approx 250 pounds worth.
roadrunner
<< <i>I've decide to be nice and not say a thing. It's one of my new years resolutions. When I see full blown idiocy on the board, I'm not going to say a thing. I won't feed the fires. Won't do it, can't make me. No sir! >>
Thank you for not saying anything.
I would not use my un-employment check to purchase even the most trivial of coins .......
I would be desperately trying to sell what ever coins I had to try and pay bills , which would accumulate and probably be massive ....
my credit cards would all be maxed out to the limit and I would get a job at Mc Donalds if there were an opening , if thats all I could find.........
no way would I be buying or trading D.Carrs Fantasy pieces either ...........
but hey , thats just me
take your lumps or choke up, whatever, i lost interest after the first few lines, and once you choke up-
complain to those who you feel wronged you and please stop posting this crap here.
Go BIG or GO HOME. ©Bill
<< <i>i want my nickel now please...
you nailed it moe!
Go BIG or GO HOME. ©Bill
PCGS Registries
Box of 20
SeaEagleCoins: 11/14/54-4/5/12. Miss you Larry!
<< <i>.....if I was out of a job for well over a year , the last thing on my mind would be buying coins ; no matter how strong my coin collecting addiction is ..........
I would not use my un-employment check to purchase even the most trivial of coins .......
I would be desperately trying to sell what ever coins I had to try and pay bills , which would accumulate and probably be massive ....
my credit cards would all be maxed out to the limit and I would get a job at Mc Donalds if there were an opening , if thats all I could find.........
no way would I be buying or trading D.Carrs Fantasy pieces either ...........
but hey , thats just me >>
I purchased that coin for someone who prepaid me an extra 40$ for it(200$). They saw the matte version and asked if I could get that instead and theyd pay an extra 50$ for it(250$). I had a regular strike piece from a while back as well and sold that to the same person for +40$ as well. 40$ may not seem like much but thats 2 weeks worth of food. I am not a big shot by any means but I have several people in town here calling me with offers of coins pretty much on weekly basis as I have established myself with a small niche of people as a coin collector and I pick up a few morgans here and there(FOR RESALE). Maybe I should start posting everything I do to make a few dollars here and there to avoid assumptions.
<< <i>No need to provide your daily journal entries mumu... we're good at judging people absent of any facts!
Yes I am starting to see that. There are some really good people here too though.
Thanks,
EDIT: Oh, and every hard working job is below you, as I stated in my last PM to you, I would work at Burger King to pay the bills and be a man, not do what you did and seem to be doing. You sure do post alot for someone who is hot in the search. You had a job handed to you and you acted like, well this, anyone that reads this whole thing might just understand where I am coming from.
The job was to help, not buy 2k worth of coins for 2k! I offered kindness and I was burnt, so............. balme me, blame the boards, but YOU are not responsible for your own actions, right. Am I warm?
I am done!
you said you were a commodities broker making over $10K a month - surely during that time you accumulated 'stuff' that you have no need for now?
why don't you sell it on eBay - no need to buy new product when you have your own - even the commodities books sell well their - and series 3 exam training books....
you say eBay closed your selling acct, use your girlfriends account (or have her start one) - different emails, banks accounts, name...
-you said yourself with a few negatives for sales cancellation, it will be a rough road selling with that eBay account
I know how miserable it gets in northern Wisconsin during the winter - short daylight, cold weather, snow drifts
I remember one day trying to get to work - minus 10 degrees - and my door handle breaks off in my hand, as the door remains frozen shut
I remember driving to work and my car bottoms out in a snow drift on a paved road - I remember using a shovel to clear a path and
dig out the compact snow stuck under my car bottoming me out
do not dwell on deals past - look forward to what you can do to help your current situation for the future
do some cash flows on your eBay selling plan, see what type of volume you need to turn in order to pay your bills
+1
maybe that's good.
<< <i>mumu, I feel your pain - but have many questions
you said you were a commodities broker making over $10K a month - surely during that time you accumulated 'stuff' that you have no need for now?
why don't you sell it on eBay - no need to buy new product when you have your own - even the commodities books sell well their - and series 3 exam training books....
you say eBay closed your selling acct, use your girlfriends account (or have her start one) - different emails, banks accounts, name...
-you said yourself with a few negatives for sales cancellation, it will be a rough road selling with that eBay account
I know how miserable it gets in northern Wisconsin during the winter - short daylight, cold weather, snow drifts
I remember one day trying to get to work - minus 10 degrees - and my door handle breaks off in my hand, as the door remains frozen shut
I remember driving to work and my car bottoms out in a snow drift on a paved road - I remember using a shovel to clear a path and
dig out the compact snow stuck under my car bottoming me out
do not dwell on deals past - look forward to what you can do to help your current situation for the future
do some cash flows on your eBay selling plan, see what type of volume you need to turn in order to pay your bills >>
This sounds like the beginning of a CK saga, part II.
That wasn't so pleasant.
Maybe both of the parties here can move on....
EAC 6024
"Keep your malarkey filter in good operating order" -Walter Breen
I can't imagine anyone wanting to stick their neck on the line to give someone they have not met in person a 6 figure job, especially considering what transpired over the junk silver. I know the unexpected happened but the time line was quick enough that all should have been made whole. I can seee how some people would be willing to take that risk to make some money, but in my opinion it did not have to turn out the way it did. When all fails, the way people deal with correcting the afterath shows the real charater of the person.
NGC registry V-Nickel proof #6!!!!
working on proof shield nickels # 8 with a bullet!!!!
RIP "BEAR"
<< <i>Because of the length of the OP, I was tempted to skip it. >>
We call that a TLDR post (too long, didn't read).
60 years into this hobby and I'm still working on my Lincoln set!