Coin collector jokes....add some

percyb

Ok. What do you call a queer coin collector?? A guy who prefers women to coins!

DUIGUY

Ain't it the truth ??

garsmith

<<Ok. What do you call a queer coin collector?? A guy who prefers women to coins! >>

Ok, what do you call a bi coin collector?? A guy who finds a woman that shares in the love of coins!

BlackBeard

There was this guy that was born just a head, no body, just a head. One day he's rolling down the street and he finds a penny. He decides to put it in the wishing well so he bounces up onto the ledge, spits the penny in and makes his wish. "I wish I had a body, I wish I had a body." Then all of a sudden "poof" he has a body with arms and legs, he jumps up and runs around, "Whippeee, I have a body." He runs across the road and gets run over by a dump truck and squished flat.

The moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.



Pretty bad, I admit. But it's the only coin related joke I could come up with.

ebaytrader

3 coin dealers go deer hunting in central Pennsyltucky. After many hours of not seeing anything, one exclaims, "look, deer tracks!" The second dealer says that no, they're too big for dear tracks and must be from a bear. The third shakes his head and tells them to look closer that there is no way they're bear tracks. As they stood around in a circle bent over looking at the tracks a train came along and kilt all 3.

(None thought to leave a quarter on the tracks.)

njcoincrank

How can you tell when a coin dealer is on vacation?

He's got a tarp thrown over his house and all the lawn furniture is on the roof.

njcc

lkrarecoins

A Morgan dollar walks into a "Bar".....Ouch!

A 2nd Morgan dollar walks into a "Bar"....The first Morgan never warned him

Elem21wed

The only coin joke I know is about the raw 1889 cc morgan on ebay. But I think you all know the punch line.

CJK

kenmitch

What do women and coins have in common....Rolls

Kinda mean....But

DJCoinz

Oooh, that was cruel.

UtahCoin

One day this guy Bob dies and is standing in line at the Pearly Gates waiting to be interviewed for admission. He nears the front of the line and hears St Peter interview a Coin Dealer. Then he hears St Peter say, "OK, you're in, take the elevator to the Penthouse suite. You have a maid, chef and everything you would ever need. If you need anything just ask and we'll take care of it." Next in line is the Pope! St Peter says, 'OK, you're in, take the elevator down to the basement, pick out a bunk in the dormitory and for meals you have vending machines in the hall."

Bob is up next and is really worried. He asks St Peter, "I don't understand, that coin dealer gets the Penthouse and the Pope gets a bunk in a Dorm!?? What's up with that??

St Peter replies, "We've got 265 Popes, we only got ONE coin dealer......"

DenverDave

Did you hear the one about a 3 legged Dog that collected coins...?

Went to the Saloon looking for the man who shot his Paw..."-)

frostbyte

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist pastor, an athiest and a coin collector each got a bag of GW dollars. The catholic draws a circle on the ground and stands in the middle and throws the money up in the air and any coins that land outside the circle he gives to the church for tithing. He gets the rest. The Baptist does the same thing, but gives the coins that land in the circle to god and he keeps the rest since this would allow him to keep the larger amount. The athiest thought a minute and decided to throw the coins up in the air. If god wanted them he could keep what he wanted. Anything that came down was his. Then they look over to see what the coin collector was going to do only to see him cherry picking through all the coins and sending the best out to be slabbed. Ba dum dumb...ti.

TwoSides2aCoin

Did you know that elevators smell different to midget coin dealers ?

Coxe

What's a great pick up line for a Morgan collector?

"Is that a DMPL in your pocket? I can see myself in your pants tonight."

PerryHall

<< <i>What's a great pick up line for a Morgan collector?

"Is that a DMPL in your pocket? I can see myself in your pants tonight." >>



"Is that a roll of Morgan dollars in your pocket or are you just really glad to see me."

57loaded

insert "coin collector" for "blonde"

and you are on your way

Shamika

<< <i>3 coin dealers go deer hunting in central Pennsyltucky. After many hours of not seeing anything, one exclaims, "look, deer tracks!" The second dealer says that no, they're too big for dear tracks and must be from a bear. The third shakes his head and tells them to look closer that there is no way they're bear tracks. As they stood around in a circle bent over looking at the tracks a train came along and kilt all 3. >>

dorancoins

What do the grading services and cemeteries have in common?

They like to "slab" stuff!


How did the Grand Canyon really came about?

Two elderly coin collectors were in the middle of the desert and the one showed the other a 1909-S VDB penny. That other person got a chance to hold the penny but after a second accidentally dropped the coin in a crack on the ground - the two collectors looked at each other and proceeded to dig. They have yet to find that coin...... so far!

Elcontador

All of X dealer's coins are PQ

I have $X into this coin so I can't sell it to you for less than $Y

This coin is beautiful. It has to be naturally toned because it's in a slab

All MS 65 Capped Bust Halves with bright white centers and uniform charcoal to russet toned rims which have 'mysteriously' appeared in th last year or two are naturally toned

Bright blue PF IHCs are naturally toned; they got that way from being stored in the original mint tissue

PerryHall

Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two EAC members were walking along when they both spoted an early large cent laying on the ground.

LincolnCentMan

What kind of horse is on the Delaware quarter? ....a quarter horse.

-David

BigTom

Elcontador wins the prize.

dorancoins

<< <i>Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two EAC members were walking along when they both spoted an early large cent laying on the ground. >>



And I assume that these two EAC guys each grabbed an end and pulled, right?

I used to date this girl - she was so tight with money that when pinched a penny I can actually hear Abe Lincoln's skull crack! In fact, one time she grabbed a buffalo nickel and squeezed the guts right out of it! In fact, as I recall, she was so tight with paper money that when she would get some currency the dead presidents were screaming very loudly!

BlackBeard

How do you get a coin collector off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza.


If you have a coin collector knocking on your front door and your dog barking at the back door, which do you let in first? The dog, it will shut up once it gets inside.


How do you keep a coin collector busy for hours? Write "please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.


Why did the coin collector get fired from the M&M factory? For thowing away all the W's.


How do you keep a coin dealer in suspense?

au58

What is the difference between a coin dealer and a carp?

One is a low life, scum sucking bottom feeder.

The other is a fish.

tahoe98

how long before things here go POOF?

ILikeMercs

<< <i>One day this guy Bob dies and is standing in line at the Pearly Gates waiting to be interviewed for admission. He nears the front of the line and hears St Peter interview a Coin Dealer. Then he hears St Peter say, "OK, you're in, take the elevator to the Penthouse suite. You have a maid, chef and everything you would ever need. If you need anything just ask and we'll take care of it." Next in line is the Pope! St Peter says, 'OK, you're in, take the elevator down to the basement, pick out a bunk in the dormitory and for meals you have vending machines in the hall."

Bob is up next and is really worried. He asks St Peter, "I don't understand, that coin dealer gets the Penthouse and the Pope gets a bunk in a Dorm!?? What's up with that??

St Peter replies, "We've got 265 Popes, we only got ONE coin dealer......" >>




substitute Lawyer for coin dealer.

Shamika

<< <i> Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two EAC members were walking along when they both spoted an early large cent laying on the ground. >>


Pretty smart.

stockergreen

Ha Ha

Musky1011

Did you know that 2007 nickels are worth $100.35 ???

Jim

Musky1011

<< <i>

<< <i> Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two EAC members were walking along when they both spoted an early large cent laying on the ground. >>


Pretty smart. >>



It's supposed to go "Two EAC members fighting over an early large cent"

Jim

08HALA20

this one taken from "AJokeADay.com"

A spokesperson for the U.S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots.
On one side of the coin would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale.
Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the spokesman replied, "Now, when you toss a coin you can simply call.... 'Ted's or Hale's'."


Rookie Joe

Numismanic

<< <i>this one taken from "AJokeADay.com"

A spokesperson for the U.S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots.
On one side of the coin would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale.
Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the spokesman replied, "Now, when you toss a coin you can simply call.... 'Ted's or Hale's'."


Rookie Joe >>

Coxe

What do classic coin dealers call their newborns?

Modern Crap.

ABSilvercoins

A coin dealer walked into his living room with a goat on a leash. (The coin dealer's wife was sitting on a couch in that room, eating chocolates.)

Coin Dealer: "This is the fat, ugly PIG I prefer to spend initmate moments with and browse my coin collection with, when YOU are not available."

Wife: "You ignorant fool, that is a GOAT not a PIG."

Coin Dealer: "I was talking to the GOAT."

GoldenEyeNumismatics

ROFL

Doogy

A very wealthy and kind man passed away at a ripe old age. He was an avid collector of rare gold coins and bars from around the world, and he had one of the finer collections ever assembled. Upon arriving at the pearly gates, he was stopped and asked why he was carrying a suitcase. He simply explained that it was a deal worked out with the almighty, and he was allowed his one suitcase of belongings. The guard looked at him quizically, and muttered "um, i'm gonna' have to call this one in. (calling) Lord, we have Mr. Jones here with a suitcase that he, uh....okay, I understand."

After hanging up in disbelief, the guard said to the man. "well, it looks like you do in fact have a prior arrangement! But....before you go in, do you mind what i ask what was so important that it couldn't stay behind?" The man smiled and seemed to look proud to show his new friends. After opening the suitcase, and standing back to allow them to take it all in, they started to laugh out loud.

"pavement?! why would break your back lugging that up here!?"

coinsarefun

<< <i>What do women and coins have in common....Rolls

Kinda mean....But >>









I thought they were referred to as Love Handles?

Ya, I know wouldn't work with the joke.




Stefanie

Walmann

What do a high grade coin and a coin collecter both have in common? They are both certifiable.

DJCoinz

<< <i>A coin dealer walked into his living room with a goat on a leash. (The coin dealer's wife was sitting on a couch in that room, eating chocolates.)

Coin Dealer: "This is the fat, ugly PIG I prefer to spend initmate moments with and browse my coin collection with, when YOU are not available."

Wife: "You ignorant fool, that is a GOAT not a PIG."

Coin Dealer: "I was talking to the GOAT." >>

Cam40

the real joke is my collection of coins

MarkInDavis

How was copper wire invented? Two coin collectors found a penny at the same time.

D

<< <i>How was copper wire invented? Two coin collectors found a penny at the same time. >>



I heard that before, except it wasn't coin collectors fighting over a penny.

-D

Texast

There was this little boy, his father was very poor, when Christmas came his father told him he could only have one present, he asked the boy what he wanted and the boy told him “Mickey Mouse Ears” so that Christmas his father bought him the little hat with the mouse ears.

The next Christmas was even poorer than the previous one, the father asked his son again what he wanted, the boy still wearing the Mickey Mouse ears from the year before said “I want a Mickey Mouse T-Shirt” so his father bought him the T-Shirt.

The next Christmas the father went to his son and told him he had hit the lottery and he could have anything he wanted. The boy still wearing the ragged Mickey Mouse Ears and the faded T-Shirt replied - “I want a whole Mickey Mouse Outfit” - so his father bought him ANACS.

PerryHall

<< <i>How was copper wire invented? Two coin collectors found a penny at the same time. >>



MarkInDavis---Go back and read my first post in this thread.

Gemini

A blonde was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out.

She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket.

She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar.

A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her. He said, "Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?"

The blonde answers "Duuh"... I'm winning here.

droopyd

<< <i>Did you know that 2007 nickels are worth $100.35 ??? >>



I just got smacked for repeating that one.

thestig

<< <i>There was this little boy, his father was very poor, when Christmas came his father told him he could only have one present, he asked the boy what he wanted and the boy told him “Mickey Mouse Ears” so that Christmas his father bought him the little hat with the mouse ears.

The next Christmas was even poorer than the previous one, the father asked his son again what he wanted, the boy still wearing the Mickey Mouse ears from the year before said “I want a Mickey Mouse T-Shirt” so his father bought him the T-Shirt.

The next Christmas the father went to his son and told him he had hit the lottery and he could have anything he wanted. The boy still wearing the ragged Mickey Mouse Ears and the faded T-Shirt replied - “I want a whole Mickey Mouse Outfit” - so his father bought him ANACS. >>

thestig

I was on the star trek enterprise when we became stranded on a unknown planet.
Scotty said the dilithium crystals were no good, and we are stuck here, unless we find some crystals.
The scouting party located a unknown carbon based unit, and asked for his help.
The entity said he would be glad to help any way he could, and said his father was a collector.
Captain kirk, Bones, and Spok went to talk to him,, they were surprised to see so much treasure, and coin he had.
Kirk asked, we need dilithium crystals can you help, the father replied no.
Bones said for the love of Pete why not?
The man said, because my wife is the collector, not me. Kirk did not understand, and said your not a dilithium crystal collector?
The man replied I collect coins from all parts of the galaxy. Spok replied, illogical the federation hasn't used
currency for more than 2000 years. The man replied I know, but its the only way I can get my wife to even look at my unit.
Then he asked for some spare change.

(Fascinating) Spok took a collection, because he understood what the man was saying, and said OH your wife is o-whora.

thestig

I worked hard on this joke. Funny/Not funny?