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"Good Morning Class" The Pirates of the Coinibbean --The Curse of the Jade Coin
Clankeye
Posts: 3,928 ✭
Somewhere in the Coinibbean, Captain Hallatio Coinblower is mustering a crew for his ship THE P.O.S. Being recently drummed out of the Royal Navy, Captain Coinblower has become a Privateer, and now must select from a large assortment of scum and villainy to join him in his quest for plunder. The room is loud, smoke-filled and stinking of rum and desperation--very much like a coin show. Coinblower is clothed like a dandy-- with powdered wig, and old naval uniform... he addresses the company
Captain Coinblower: GENTLEMEN!! GENTLEMEN!! HEAR ME!!!!!
A beer mug comes flying through the air, striking the Captain and drenching him.
Outhaul: (looking sheepish) Sorry... thought 'e said "beer me!"
Captain Coinblower: (dabbing himself with a hanky) Gentlemen! I am in need of men--real men!
All: Har!!!!
Captain Coinblower: Men of daring! Men of courage and valor!
All: Har! Har!!!
Captain Coinblower: MEN WHO KNOW NOT FEAR!!!
All: HAR!!! ARRRRR!!!!!!
Captain Coinblower: MEN WHO WILL WORK ON THE CHEAP!!!!!
All raise and head for the door, except for Wallstreetman
Captain Coinblower: A FREE SILVER EAGLE TO ALL WHO WOULD JOIN ME!!
All: (running back) HAARRRRR!!!!!!!
Davey Jonesy: A-fore I put me mark to anythin'... I'll be wantin' to know wot I'm puttin' in for... if'in the Cap'n catches my drift!
--Silence--
Captain Coinblower: (fixing them with a cold stare) Men... it is my intention to go after... THE JADE COIN!!!
The room erupts with howls and violent oaths
Briny Billboat: THE JADE'S A MYTH!!!
Puff Powder: LEAST NO ONE'S LIVED TO TELL THE TALE!!!!
DCAMBarnacle:
Plunder Doops: (Shaking fist) GORP!!!! SAYS I !!
In the corner, a grizzled man stomps his wooden leg into the floor-Womp! Womp! Womp!-- until all fall quiet and look to him
Long Jom Silver: (scowling) Sooo.... it's The Jade you'd be after. (he lights his pipe and takes a draw) HA! Is she real? I've gotta stump for a leg seems REAL ENOUGH TO ME! I was there when we plundered The Norweb. And a fat pay day it was we thoughts we 'ad. BUT... you can ask yer Captain Coinblower there 'bout that... could be e's got personal reasons for wantin' to find The Jade.
--Silence--
You won't find The Jade Coin in The Bay of Eee boys... she's sailed now. She's out on the N G Sea... rough waters, laddies. Take some Brave boys to bring her to heel. ...If you'rn a mind to go.. Yo ho, mates--Yo ho. Be ye ware... ye who enter there--
Captain Coinblower: Oh shut up, Silver! Should have hanged you years ago! (addressing the men) I want all able seamen who would join me on The P.O.S. to step forth and make their mark! Mister Kranky--take names!
Mister Kranky: Aye Captain! Who'd be first then?
An exotic looking woman steps forth
Woman: I am The Pirate Lucille Le Bop, zee most be-bop zailor on zee high seas!
Mister Kranky: (turning to Coinblower) Captain! A woman on board is bad luck!
She lands a direct kick to Mister Kranky's crotch.
All: (wincing) OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Young Airplanenut: Right in the Frankies!
Cladking: I'm with her!
Captain Coinblower: Who else then?? WHO WILL JOIN!!!!??
Mapmaker: Do you need a mapmaker?
Captain Coinblower: No--
Mapmaker: Do you need a mapmaker?
Captain Coinblower: ...eh, no--
Mapmaker: Do you need a mapmaker?
Captain Coinblower: I said no--
Mapmaker: TTT
Captain Coinblower: NOOOO!
Mapmaker: Just askin'. Be sure to check my auctions when you're back in port!
Captain Coinblower: (head in hands) Mister Kranky--make a list. Bring it to me on The P.O.S....
He turns and faces the men (and women)
We sail with the 'morrow's tide. Get sleep--be rested. We will need it... one and all.
Long Jom Silver: (raising a glass) 'Ere's to the Devil and the N G Sea!
To The Jade Coin, lads! You'd best 'ope we don't find 'er.
He takes a long, lusty drink, rum spilling down his beard
Yo ho, mates!
The door bursts open and Mad Martin of Mumsford stumbles drunkenly into the room. He bulches, looks around, and loudly begins to sing--
I told me mudder--I told me Da!
I told me wife... and me daughter in law!
I told the Pope and I tol' the King...
...Oops I crapped me pants....
Mad Martin: (looks around) Wuz everbody doin'? (hic)
To be Continued---
Captain Coinblower: GENTLEMEN!! GENTLEMEN!! HEAR ME!!!!!
A beer mug comes flying through the air, striking the Captain and drenching him.
Outhaul: (looking sheepish) Sorry... thought 'e said "beer me!"
Captain Coinblower: (dabbing himself with a hanky) Gentlemen! I am in need of men--real men!
All: Har!!!!
Captain Coinblower: Men of daring! Men of courage and valor!
All: Har! Har!!!
Captain Coinblower: MEN WHO KNOW NOT FEAR!!!
All: HAR!!! ARRRRR!!!!!!
Captain Coinblower: MEN WHO WILL WORK ON THE CHEAP!!!!!
All raise and head for the door, except for Wallstreetman
Captain Coinblower: A FREE SILVER EAGLE TO ALL WHO WOULD JOIN ME!!
All: (running back) HAARRRRR!!!!!!!
Davey Jonesy: A-fore I put me mark to anythin'... I'll be wantin' to know wot I'm puttin' in for... if'in the Cap'n catches my drift!
--Silence--
Captain Coinblower: (fixing them with a cold stare) Men... it is my intention to go after... THE JADE COIN!!!
The room erupts with howls and violent oaths
Briny Billboat: THE JADE'S A MYTH!!!
Puff Powder: LEAST NO ONE'S LIVED TO TELL THE TALE!!!!
DCAMBarnacle:
Plunder Doops: (Shaking fist) GORP!!!! SAYS I !!
In the corner, a grizzled man stomps his wooden leg into the floor-Womp! Womp! Womp!-- until all fall quiet and look to him
Long Jom Silver: (scowling) Sooo.... it's The Jade you'd be after. (he lights his pipe and takes a draw) HA! Is she real? I've gotta stump for a leg seems REAL ENOUGH TO ME! I was there when we plundered The Norweb. And a fat pay day it was we thoughts we 'ad. BUT... you can ask yer Captain Coinblower there 'bout that... could be e's got personal reasons for wantin' to find The Jade.
--Silence--
You won't find The Jade Coin in The Bay of Eee boys... she's sailed now. She's out on the N G Sea... rough waters, laddies. Take some Brave boys to bring her to heel. ...If you'rn a mind to go.. Yo ho, mates--Yo ho. Be ye ware... ye who enter there--
Captain Coinblower: Oh shut up, Silver! Should have hanged you years ago! (addressing the men) I want all able seamen who would join me on The P.O.S. to step forth and make their mark! Mister Kranky--take names!
Mister Kranky: Aye Captain! Who'd be first then?
An exotic looking woman steps forth
Woman: I am The Pirate Lucille Le Bop, zee most be-bop zailor on zee high seas!
Mister Kranky: (turning to Coinblower) Captain! A woman on board is bad luck!
She lands a direct kick to Mister Kranky's crotch.
All: (wincing) OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Young Airplanenut: Right in the Frankies!
Cladking: I'm with her!
Captain Coinblower: Who else then?? WHO WILL JOIN!!!!??
Mapmaker: Do you need a mapmaker?
Captain Coinblower: No--
Mapmaker: Do you need a mapmaker?
Captain Coinblower: ...eh, no--
Mapmaker: Do you need a mapmaker?
Captain Coinblower: I said no--
Mapmaker: TTT
Captain Coinblower: NOOOO!
Mapmaker: Just askin'. Be sure to check my auctions when you're back in port!
Captain Coinblower: (head in hands) Mister Kranky--make a list. Bring it to me on The P.O.S....
He turns and faces the men (and women)
We sail with the 'morrow's tide. Get sleep--be rested. We will need it... one and all.
Long Jom Silver: (raising a glass) 'Ere's to the Devil and the N G Sea!
To The Jade Coin, lads! You'd best 'ope we don't find 'er.
He takes a long, lusty drink, rum spilling down his beard
Yo ho, mates!
The door bursts open and Mad Martin of Mumsford stumbles drunkenly into the room. He bulches, looks around, and loudly begins to sing--
I told me mudder--I told me Da!
I told me wife... and me daughter in law!
I told the Pope and I tol' the King...
...Oops I crapped me pants....
Mad Martin: (looks around) Wuz everbody doin'? (hic)
To be Continued---
Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
0
Comments
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
"The silver is mine and the gold is mine,' declares the LORD GOD Almighty."
We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
A stinking ship , a scurvey crew and a mad captain. Methinks we are bound
on a cursed voyage of the damned.Hark ye well, the little bear
has a nose for trouble and trouble she be comming at us, like a storm.
Drink well and deep of your grog me lads, tis our fatal destiny , we go
to seek at NG Sea.Yo ho ho on a dead mans chest. we sail to our final rest.
Camelot
I nearly peed me pants. TTT
Camelot
and it sets us apart from practitioners and consultants. Gregor
Tis only fittin and proper like.Arrggghhh.
Camelot
<< <i>Arrrghh, then wee wee Peetie be the cause of the waterfall at ye Long Beach Show. >>
Clank marks the spot.
Liberty: Parent of Science & Industry
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." -Luke 11:9
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." -Deut. 6:4-5
"For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; He will save us." -Isaiah 33:22
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
Big Mike <><
Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all that he has done. --Colossians 2:7
New collectors, please educate yourself before spending money on coins; there are people who believe that using numismatic knowledge to rip the naïve is what this hobby is all about.
The Mojo of Rizn
-Jim Morrison-
Mr. Mojorizn
my blog:www.numistories.com
Marc
<< <i>Right in the Frankies >>
That was a good one.
<< <i> Re: Hey Jade Coin Guys, LOOK!!! [Re: MadMarty]
Hey Marty, that was pretty funny!
I am sorry to hear about what you did in your pants......
--------------------
"Censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime."
-- Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart
>>
Please, please give us part 2 before next week!
My wife is upstairs just shaking her head at me laughing at my computer
You are definately one of the best that I have read lately
The slap of the salt sea air has reinvigorated me. So it's Hi-ho and off we go, a Pirates life for me!!
Clankeye
Come on over ... to The Dark Side!
away to death or glory. Tis the life of a pirate for me. Every evening
nice shrimp horse dovers, a delicately spice baked halibut, preceeded
by several extra dry martoonies.A little Guy Lombardo music to while away
the long hours and then to sleep, perchance to dream.
Camelot
bay of E ......nyuk nyuk nyuk!
I would be honored on the day that i would be included in one of your saga's
You're amazing. Thanks for the laffs.
Jade Rare Coin eBay Listings
we know you wrote like a pirate on monday, but more importantly did you talk like a pirate on friday????
yet another fine installment.
z
The PCGS folks should be paying you to write here!
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since 8/1/6
Camelot
what other creations lurk within the mind of the Bard.
Camelot