"Good Morning Class" - The Seance

Clankeye

Mrs. Coinboard: Good morning class!
All: Good morning Mrs. Coinboard!
Mrs: Coinboard: Class, today we are going to hold a seance and try to contact the spirit of Coinguy1...
LuckyBop: Did he die?
Mrs. C: Yes he did, Lucy. His last thread only got 3 responses. He died. He's with Angel Bear in Heaven now.
Stman: I find him offensive!
Mrs. C: Well, you can tell his ghost that, dear.
Halfnut: I think he's crazy!
Mrs. C: Well, there are rumors...
Dog97: Can I shoot him if he comes back?
Mrs. C: He's a ghost dear, bullets pass right through him.
Legend: I like him! He's a dealer. The rest of you suck.
Gmarguli: (gives her a high five) Mean and Evil!
Coindaughter: How do we have a seance?
Mrs. C: Well, first we turn out the lights, then we all join hands.

The room goes pitch black. Mrs. Coinboard lights a candle and holds it under her face. Scary does not adequately describe this effect.

Mrs. Coinboard: (In a monotone voice) We the assorted nutballs of
the US Coin forum call to the ghost of Angel Bear. Can you hear us Angel Bear?

Silence

Berrydingle: (meekly) I'm sorry... I wet myself.
Airplanenut: Cool.

Mrs. Coinboard: We call upon Angel Bear to bring us the spirit of Spark Weld--Movie Star! aka-Coinguy1. CAN YOU HEAR US ANGEL BEAR!!????

POOF! In the middle of the room stands Devil Bear. He is, of course, dressed like Elvis

Devil Bear: I said HEY-DINGIES Little Monkeys! ALWAYS good ta see you again! You're my BEST audience! If you're lookin' for Poindexter, you're asking the wrong guy! Got him right there with me down in the BIG FURNACE ROOM!
RKKay: Coinguy1's in Hell?
Devil Bear: You bet, son. DONE DEAL!! Said he won't post on the forum anymore. It's drivin' him nuts. Torture of the Damned!
Cointoast: What'd he do to deserve being in Hell?
Devil Bear: Don't know. After reading your posts, guess it just felt like home to him.
Klectorkid: R U going 2 let us talk 2 him?
Devil Bear: You want a RETURN TO SENDER?! Cost you a THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!
MDwoods: A thousand dollars for a used Coinguy1??
DPoole: That's outrageous!
Parkave: Sounds reasonable to me.
Mrs. Coinboard: A thousand dollars does seem a bit high for Coinguy1, Devil Bear. After all, we're use to him sharing his wisdom with us for free. In light of some of his posts, I think we may have overpaid as it is....
NWCS: Yeah... how about he cuts us a check and we let him come back!
Dorkkarl: I'm against it!
Clankeye: People! Remember this: it was only a matter of time before Coinguy1 had his account pulled anyway. His recent posts showed a clear descent into madness. Madness I tell you!
LuckyBop: I miss him!
Doops: (singsong) why don'tcha marry him then? You and deepchumpeo kingrat. The industryall lvoe me back the vey. Gork.

Mrs. Coinboard switches on the lights. The entire class stares at Doops. He is, of course, oblivious.

The lights go back out. There on a window shade, just above the cage of beloved class pet, Hamstaconda, appears a Poindexter Icon with test tube. It speaks

The Icon that was Coinguy1: Hi you guys. How's it going? (sniff) it's lonely down here and it's dark. Sure wish I could talk to you guys--my buds... my friends.
All: Awwwwwwwwwwwww......
Coinguy1: I've got a job down here, teaching in The Room of Eternal Negative Feedback... but, it's not like being on the forum...
All: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.....
Coinguy1: I tried posting on the NGC forum... but, it'll be a couple years until I hear anything....
All: Awwwwwwwwwwww.....
Coinguy1: I was thinking, you know... maybe if things were slow or something... I could maybe post some stuff again...?

Silence

Mrs. Coinboard: Well dears, what do you think? Should we let Coinguy1 post again? Let's have a show of hands. Who wants to see Coinguy1 back and posting on the forum? Raise your hands!

Russ: Um, Mrs. Coinboard...
Mrs. Coinboard: Yes, Dear?
Russ: The lights are out.
Mrs. Coinboard: ...Oh.

To Be Continued...

MadMonk

Bravo

ccrdragon

(Hand waving frantically) ME!

Never responded to one of his posts, but I read everyone he put up - one of the best sources of info on these boards!

Good as usual, Clankeye!

MadMarty

Man, I hate when I have to go out of town. I miss so much stuff here....

We love you Clankeye...

LucyBop

My Hand is raised!

nwcs

Ahh, it's like ibuprofen for a headache...

**CLICK**
**CLICK**
**CLICK**

"There's no place like Coinboard"
"There's no place like Coinboard"
"There's no place like Coinboard"

kranky

<< Gork. >>

Indeed!

LucyBop

<< <i>LuckyBop: I miss him! >>

rkfish

Clank!
You've done it again! BRAVO!

Coinguy1 will have no choice but to post now...........

wingedliberty

You are a literary giant.

Brian.

66Tbird

zenny

laughing

raising hand

thanks Clank

z

LucyBop

this is one I didn't laugh with, though I enjoyed it, but there is a sadness to it, a sense of loss.

halfnut

Will Clank you did it again- anouther great story. It's great that class is back sure did miss it. I must now retire back under my rock to await anouther great story from Clank.

And just to clarify I don't think Coinguy is crazy and I sure liked his post's

Bear

Clank - Thank you from the bottom of my little bear heart for posting

your wonderful story. I hope Mark reads your epic and realizes that while only few

answered his thread, many read and benefited from his wisdom. I have learned over time,

we cant take the Forum too seriously all the time. Like life itself, we have our towering giants

of intellectual and professional standing. We have the vast multitude of hard working commited

collectors and we have a small number of creatures that go bump in the dark crevicess of the Forum.

It is these creatures, small in stature but large in their ability to spread disorder, anger,mistrust

and hurt feelings, that make this Forum the challange that it is. Even the little bear must at times

hide and lick his wounds.But back must come the soldiers of light truth and wisdom to save

the Forum, if only from itself.

keets

while checking a thread for a post
i thought that i spotted a ghost.
the coinguy returned
over bridges he burned
cause he found that he needed us most.


he'll be back y'all. just quit tripping over every Tom, $ick and Coinguy that feels the need to announce there feelings got hurt.

al h.

zenny

Lucy,

you must have at least chuckled at "Gork"

LucyBop

<< <i>you must have at least chuckled at "Gork" >>


]]]]]

Clankeye

Bear--
Nice post. I just noticed you posted a thread addressed to me in The Registry Forum. Bear, I don't hang there much (I don't have any reg. sets. Those guys are lucky) why'd you post it there? I'm surprised I saw it at all four days later. Well, thanks for the nice thoughts anyway.

Mrs. Coinboard says thanks to all of you, and she's thrilled to be back.

Clankeye

Android

Mark will HAVE to respond to this...C'mon Mark! We miss you already!!

Andy

dorkkarl

hey, how did poopy-dimples find the caps-lock key?

(heh heh heh)

K S

LanLord

Clank, you feind. You are like a drug pusher hanging around the school yard. I had just gotten over my withdrawls from not being able to read these every monday and you gotta pull out this big spliff on a wendesday.

Thanks, keep em coming. Just don't bogart.

dpoole

Nice (deep) cameo appearance you put in there for yourself, Clank!

mdwoods

Great job Clankeye. (as usual). If that doesn't raise Coinguy1 from the dead, nothing will. mdwoods

cladking

ROFL. ...Cuts us a check, indeed. If you have to ask how
much it can't be afforded. Maybe just a token payment.

CarlWohlforth

Thanks! Great post.

Wow, whatever happens I don't want to end up in "The Room of Eternal Negative Feedback"!!!

cosmicdebris

Clankeye another masterful tale. Can't wait for the next installment.

Nysoto

The mood on the message board changes from dismal to hysterical!

IrishMike

Good one I was laffing so hard my fellow employees were looking at me strangely. If Mark burned any bridges, then all I can say is that they were bridges over trouble waters and good riddance to them. As Jack Nicholson once said "you want the truth" etc. etc.

agfox

Good lord.. make me laugh like that again during business hours and there'll be no more business hours!

Excellent

Can you work the next one where the bad guys get hit by a truck? Big trucks. Lots of trucks. I'm thinking trucks with many wheels. I like trucks.

Editted to fix typos as usual

nwcs

agfox, Mrs. Coinboard will only allow that to happen if the trucks are Tonka or Matchbox.

Fairlaneman

...... with Tears in the Eyes.

Yes the Posts are missed !!

Ken

DCAMFranklin

<< <i>Lucy,

you must have at least chuckled at "Gork" >>




She may not have, however, I BURST out laughing!

Clankeye- Another great piece! Hopefully, enough to bring Mark back from a brief absence.

Dog97

Should I use my black gun or my silver gun?

cosmicdebris

Dog you have 2 hands, or should I say paws don't you? Why not use both?

Loki

Another Clankeye Classic! Anyone want some Lasagna?

airplanenut

cool

coindaughter

Too much, Clank!

*****************

(Coindaughter raising hand, frantically........)
"oooh, oooh, oooh!"

(Come back, Coinguy1!)

clevegreg

OUtstanding !!!!!!!!!!!!!

DHeath

Just like stinky sneakers, they're old friends.

MrKelso

Ah were having fun again!!!!!!!!!!!!

FatMan

Thanks Clank

You sure can make the FatMan Bust a Gut.

Zerbe

I don't see Mark, but I can hear him laughing.
Zerbe, Zerbe, Zerbe, Zerbe

ClausUrch

<< <i>Coinguy1: I tried posting on the NGC forum... but, it'll be a couple years until I hear anything.... >>



BRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA!!!!

Ich bin mein siden schpliten laughin!!!!!!!!

Danke Claneye!!!

Cam40

Great follow up post bear.Have this warm jelly donut. ;-)

And a fantastic poem by Keets.That was very creative.

..Cam40 knocks over a chair,stumbles to the ground and hits a wall.

Ouch!!! .Found the light switch!!!!!!!!

All-Well!!!!! TURN IT ON!!!!!

flick
Everyones hands are raised.

relayer

As long as his posts are ttt, he'll live forever