"Good Morning Class" - The Dream of Coinalot

Clankeye

There is great turmoil in Coinalot. The castle is preparing for a siege. Blacksmiths forge weapons, horses rear, children run for cover. A black sun glows through the smoke of many fires

King ArtR briskly enters the great hall. He is trailed by his war council, Sir Segoja, Sir GMarguli, and Sir Outhaul. He bellows at the assembled Knights

King ArtR: WHAT WORD?!! GOOD SIR KNIGHTS! WHAT WORD!!!!!?

Scattering three chickens, one pig and a mongrel dog97, Squire Wisconsin trips toward King ArtR

Squire Wisconsin: (breathless) Your Highness! We have a messenger! He brings news!
King ArtR: Who is this messenger?

The crowd parts and a very, very... large man emerges

Large Fellow: 'Tis I, your Majesty! The Friar FatMan! (there is a polite, smattering of applause, he bows) Thank you very much!
Archbishop of Coinguy1: (whispering) Beware your Majesty, he is a newbie and not to be trusted!
Sir Loki: What message have you for the King? And how came you by it?
Friar FatMan: Well, it's the darndest thing. I get up this morning, gonna do my business, and I find this scroll in my chamber pot!
Squire Airplanenut: Cool!
King ArtR: Well.. what is it? What's it about?
Friar FatMan: I can't really tell what it's about, your Highness. But, I think he wants me to post it for him...
King ArtR: WHO? (leaning close) Who wants you to post it?

MadMarty, the castle crazy man, leaps from a rafter and stands before them. He is a sorry assemblage of rags, bags and wild hair.

MadMarty: Who, who who, bwahahahaha... who indeed! (laughing maniacally) He but who is the the most VILE of men! He but who is the MEANEST, most FOUL! He who is the most carnivorous. He who is the despoiler... He who's very NAME IS A PLAGUE! A boil on the collective bottoms of---
King ArtR: ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!
--Silence--
Sir Spooly: Speak his name!--
Madmarty: I shan't!
Sir Irishmike: Tell us, dog!--
Madmarty: Can't make me.
Sir Toners: Pretty please?--
Madmarty: Guess?
King ArtR: (raging) TELL THE NAME OR FACE THE RACK!!!!!
MadMarty: (straightening his crooked body upright) His name....
All: (leaning in).....Yes???????
MadMarty: Is......
All: Yeeesssss....????????
MadMarty: (whispering) Pepperdoddles!

There is a collective gasp! Sir Agentjim007 leans over and puketh. The room erupts in chaos
Squire DCAMFranklin: By the Gods! Ol' Funderburke!!!!!!

King ArtR: SILENCE!!!! (To Friar FatMan) Pepperdoddles?
Pepper Doddles???!!!!!!!! Do you mean to tell me Coinalot is about to be attacked by some entity called PEPPER-DODDLES!!!!! Is this supposed to burn fear into the hearts of men? (mocking) Are you sure 'tis Pepperdoddles?
Friar Fatman: Well, yeah....
King ArtR: Not say... Twinkletoes and the Magic Ponies???
Friar Fatman: No your Highness--
King ArtR: Or perhaps we are to be attacked by Cherry Sprinkles and her hoard of little girls!!!!!!!!
Friar Fatman: (sputtering) Your... your Majesty--
King ArtR: BRING ME THE COURT MAGICIAN TRUTHTELLER!!
Truthteller enters the hall in flowing robe and pointed hat
Truthteller: Waz up?
King ArtR: Truthteller! My Magician! My Seer! Reveal the future to us so that we may know how to defeat this... (curled lip) Pepperdoddles.
Truthteller: (staring blankly) Are you high?
King ArtR: Oh, Truthteller... you who live backwards through time. You do not age--you youthen, so that you may reveal the future to us all!! Tell us now what it holds!!!!!!! I COMMAND THEE!!!
Truthteller: (yawning) Pretty much a bunch of guess the grade threads, toning vs. white, the occasional flame-war... bytching about PCGS, you know, the usual. Can I go now?.... Oh yeah, and Pedderdoddles says he's coming to the Peachstate Mace and Broadsword show and he's bringing bail money, cuz he plans to open a can of whup-ass on y'all.
Sir Marguli: THE IMPUDENT SCUMBAG!!!!
Cobbler Keets: Neg him!

There is a great crash as the heavy doors to the hall fly open. There in full armor stands Pedderdoddles

King ArtR: BY THE GODS!!!!!

In a moment of bravado and bravery unlike any seen in the history of Coinalot, Squire Wisconsin grabs the sword of Sir IrishMike and runs screaming toward Pepperdoddles

Squire Wisconsin: I shall save us your Majesty! I shall save us all!!!!!

He runs at Pepperdoddles who lifts his great sword.....
Cut to a small classroom in the town of Coinville, in a future far, far away

Wisconsin: (head on his desk, talking in his sleep) I shall save us your Highness.... I shall...
Mrs. Coinboard: Wisconsin... (shaking him) WISCONSIN!!

He looks up groggily...

Mrs. Coinboard: Good morning, Wisconsin!
Wisconsin: ...(confused) Good morning Mrs. Coinboard...
Mrs. Coinboard: A little tired today? Hmmm.....
Wisconsin: I... I was in Coinalot... (looks at GMarguli) And you were there. (points at Coinguy1) and you were there too!
Mrs. Coinboard: (smiling at him) There's no place like home, dear!
Wisconsin: I was saving you all... saving the castle. I was a hero!
--Silence--
Russ: (pointing) WHAT A MAROON!!!!!!!!!
All: BWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Angel of Marshall Bear addressing you, the reader: And so you see... it was all a dream. A dream of Coinalot.

The sound of a harp is heard as he fades gently, oh so gently away....

LanLord

Is it monday already? Man time flys!

shirohniichan

Another great addition to any collection!

mdwoods

Was PepperDoodles wearing Black Armor??? Another great job Clankeye. mdwoods

nwcs

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate Morning Class wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished to read more; - vainly I had clung to his lore
From my computer relief from sorrow- sorrow from the time before-
For the rare and clever bard whom the angels named Clankeyeore-
Nameless here for nevermore.

And that Clankeye, never flighty, still is writing, still is writing
On the message board I read just a few feet from the office door;
And his stories have all the seeming of a demon's that is typing,
And I bet the light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be entertained - evermore!

DCAMFranklin

Squire DCAMFranklin just loves that "cuz he plans to open a can of whup-ass on y'all"! That is too rich.
Clankeye, this was SURRRRRRE worth the wait! Super job!

coinrookie

MMMM a Wizard of OZ theme. I like it. Clank. you are speeding towards genius or madness. BE CAREFUL THEY ARE VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER. Another great installment.

RegistryCoin

ROFL, again. These just get better and better.
Thanks.

coinguy1

Clankeye,

How do you continue to write at such a consistently high and entertaining level, week after week (uh, make that week and a half after week )?


"He is a sorry assemblage of rags, bags and wild hair." A classic Clankeye description!

"Sir Agentjim007 leans over and puketh" Jim's role is expanding, I see!

For a while, I was fearful that Wisconsin wasn't going to be the star...and that you and I would be sued for false advertising in the contest he won. Fortunately, he came through, big-time.

Thanks again, king of lore.

paigowjohnny

<< <i>There is a collective gasp! Sir Agentjim007 leans over and puketh >>



Puketh....that cracks me up !!!

Bear

Verily, tis a tale filled with sound and fury.It hath majesty , excitement ,suspense and a background

of evil and sinister apprehension of things to come.O spirit of Christmas future, say not that evil tidings

are to be the fate of Coinalot. Is it in our power to forstall and foreswear such events by eatingeth all our

vegetables and partaking of the glee of the Holiday Season? Maketh us all good and noble and may peace

reignith upon the land from town to shire to Forum. Keepeth all evil doers from our gentle kingdom and in the

greater world outside, may all purchases have returneth guarantees. I hereby decree that I, King Art R shall rally the

forces of good grading and fair play against the evil alchemists , who would deflower virgin coins, trolls

who would disrupt our Realm and all others who wouldist sell schlock to my loyal lords, vassels and yeomen.

Clankeye

Darn! That's good, Bear. Tag, you're it.

Clankeye

remumc

Clankeye,

I loved it!!! Thanks! I was starting to suffer some withdrawal symptoms, and am now totally cured.

Wayne

Wisconsin

Clankeye,

That was good as usual. I am honored to be mentioned in your story.

One question, now that I have received almost all of my prizes, What is the mystery coin I won??

Jay

coinguy1

Jay, Clankeye has forwarded the mystery coin to me. I will soon send it to you. While I can't reveal what it is at this time, even though it is quite nice/appealing, I would recommend that you don't retire, just yet.

Clankeye

Jay--
It is a mystery. One which The Archbishop of Coinguy1 will solve for you.

Edit after reading Mark's post: But Coinguy, you told me Jay loved elongated pennies!

Clankeye

Bear

Thanks Clank, I taketh that as a complement of the highest order. I really think that your latest

tale is the very best yet. The characters are developing with a rich texture and your using classics as

story lines is clever, entertaining and just wonderful. Thank you again for bringing joy to the Forum .

Thank the wife for putting up with all of us and thank you for all of your hard work. Regards Abe

Wisconsin

The mystery coin is actually a mystery to test Mark's numismatic ability?? I hope he can figure out what it is. Maybe it is a one of a kind pattern?? I was hoping it would be a nice draped bust 1/2 cent in a PCGS Au58 slab. Oh well, Whatever it is, I will always treasure it as a memory of the great contest that I won for Mark's 1001 post!!!

halfnut

Will as has been said many times before but worth it everytime that it's said - great story thanks for making my week and just cain't wait for next week. Do I here the writing's of a Christmas carol going on sure would make a great story line - the ghost of the past, present and future thing

MacCoin

that was wonerful but you never use old man MacCoin in your stories

prooflike

I guess late is better than never, another wonderful story! Thanks!

MOrganMuncher

Cool

MrKelso

Wow after reading that, i think is it? yes it it it's gone Clankeye has cured my Headache !!!!

This was the best one yet Thank you

coinguy1

MOrganmuccher said "Cool'.

Sounds like he's trying to steal airplanenut's role in the next episode.

cosmicdebris

Coiniac

Clankeye... I haven't weighed in on any of these stories yet... been too busy guffawing! These are great! You seem to have a gift for writing in a manner which brings a vivid picture of the scene to the mind's eye. Do you write professionally? If not, you should. I'd be willing to wager that you could open the "can of Whup-ass" on a lot of the TV network comedy writers who produce the sheets and sheets of "Schlock und Drivvel" we are forced to routinely watch. Anyhew, keep em' coming! Ohhh...by the way...what type of coins do you collect?

MadMarty

Well at least I didn't yell

<< <i>It's a friggan die crack, you whackjob!!! >>

, oh ya, that was another dream!!! Ahhh, I needed a fix!!!

cladking

Thanks. It was well worth the wait.

FatMan

I am honored, your Highness. The joy of being in your presence is without equal. I pledge you my loyalty.

Clankeye

Coiniac--
Thanks for the compliments. No, I am not a professional writer per say... I am a sing/songwriter and I have a lot of experience in writing lyrics. I also have college experience in writing plays, so I guess that can be useful with this stuff.
As far as coins I collect. I am interested in classic commems and mint sets. Kind of a toned coin buff, and I collect coins of my birthyear 1957. Pretty basic, really.
Again thanks for the good words. As I thank you all. I always am flattered that you enjoy the stories.

Clankeye

Loki

Wow I was picked for a small bit part, and with no less than a "Sir" title! Heh, my first big break!! Thanks Clanky
Hey don't knock it; even Tom Cruise had to start somewhere.

Clankeye

Since it is Thursday and some people may not be looking for this today... I am going to do something I never do, and TTT my own thread.

What an egotist!
Death to Clankeye!

MrLee

Another excellent tale from long ago. It's such a joy to read them. Once again, thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Lee

Bear

dddangerousdan

Bear are you speachless??

DAN

MadMarty

Bear is still dreaming about being in the backseat with Lucy Bop!!!

dpoole

Terrific as usual, Clank!

RLinn

Clankeye, when least expected, Christmas comes early in the form of another adventure by way of post posited by your able pen. A gift to be treasured and savored. Thanks.

Take us another field trip.....pleaseeeeee!

DCAMFranklin

ttt

Gilbert

I totally missed this until ....

reading the Christmas Carol and Coinguy1 mentions a Thursday tale. Actually, I glanced at the title and thought it was the previous Coinalot tale, so... just in case anyone else is a maroonic as I



ttt, PLONK, however you would like it