A Louisiana teacher was quizzing her students.
"Tijohn, who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
He replied, "Damn if I know."
She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son and sat in the back of the room to observe.
She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Tijohn, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Tijohn exclaimed, "I told you I didn’t know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Tijohn, if you signed that dmn thing, hell, you dmn well better admit it!"
We should have a gong feature as in baaaad joke, I messed up 3 times in a row yesterday or so it seems.😵💫🥴
Just advised it's National tell a joke day, today, so here's one .
A young pastor had an 80-year-old lady in his church from whom he frequently sought counsel as she was a very wise person. He had a sermon topic that he was struggling with and went by her home to chat. She invited him in and asked what he wanted to discuss.
“Do you ever think about the hereafter?” he asked.
She replied, “Oh yes! Several times a day.”
The pastor was somewhat surprised and followed with the question “Why so frequently?”
She said, “Sometimes when I go from the den to the kitchen, I ask myself ‘what am I here after?’”
He must have been IRISH--Ole went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.” The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?” Ole said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You are not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box said the priest. Ole paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest who was watching, quickly ran over to Ole saying, “I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!” Ole replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”
Hope she isn't next for the airport metal detector
I bet she avoids powerful electro-magnets.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Comments
Bobo's ?.....
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By....plain luck, Snoopy !
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Correct spelling does make a difference
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A Louisiana teacher was quizzing her students.
"Tijohn, who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
He replied, "Damn if I know."
She was a little put out by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back.
Next day, the father came with his son and sat in the back of the room to observe.
She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Tijohn, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?"
"Well, hell, teacher," Tijohn exclaimed, "I told you I didn’t know."
The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Tijohn, if you signed that dmn thing, hell, you dmn well better admit it!"
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I would rather join with an army of sheep led by a lion, than an army of lions led by sheep.
The new Vegetarian model.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
The new express lane pumps - no waiting
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
🤦♂️
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
We should have a gong feature as in baaaad joke, I messed up 3 times in a row yesterday or so it seems.😵💫🥴
Just advised it's National tell a joke day, today, so here's one .
A young pastor had an 80-year-old lady in his church from whom he frequently sought counsel as she was a very wise person. He had a sermon topic that he was struggling with and went by her home to chat. She invited him in and asked what he wanted to discuss.
“Do you ever think about the hereafter?” he asked.
She replied, “Oh yes! Several times a day.”
The pastor was somewhat surprised and followed with the question “Why so frequently?”
She said, “Sometimes when I go from the den to the kitchen, I ask myself ‘what am I here after?’”
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
The "I'm-New-To-The-Hobby" starter kit.
He must have been IRISH--Ole went into the confessional and said to his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.” The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?” Ole said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You are not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box said the priest. Ole paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest who was watching, quickly ran over to Ole saying, “I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!” Ole replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”
Hope she isn't next for the airport metal detector
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I bet she avoids powerful electro-magnets.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Wait until her hair starts growing back in. SHe'll have to take them all out, get her head shaved again, and then do it all over.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.