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  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 9, 2023 6:31PM

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • FrazFraz Posts: 2,118 ✭✭✭✭✭

    I am dyslexic, I have insomnia, and the state of things disturbs my faith. I lie awake at night wondering if dog even exists.

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • Steven59Steven59 Posts: 8,652 ✭✭✭✭✭

    My handyman isn't very good but at least he doesn't charge very much!

    "When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"

  • Steven59Steven59 Posts: 8,652 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Oh, did I mention my handyman is also my plumber?.............

    "When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"

  • Cranium_Basher73Cranium_Basher73 Posts: 3,197 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.

  • Cranium_Basher73Cranium_Basher73 Posts: 3,197 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.

  • Cranium_Basher73Cranium_Basher73 Posts: 3,197 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.

  • Cranium_Basher73Cranium_Basher73 Posts: 3,197 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • rickoricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭

    "Would you continue to love me if I were completely bald?" she asked.
    "Absolutely, my dear," he answered.

    "What if I had no ears? Would you still love me?"
    "Just as much as I do now, sweetheart."

    "What if I had no arms at all?"
    "Even then, my love."

    "What if I had no toes?"
    "Ew, no!"

    "What?!?"
    "Darling, you know I'm lack-toes intolerant"

    Cheers, RickO

  • rickoricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid. It seems that most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would kick him into the ocean.

    Trids are notoriously bad swimmers, and frequently drowned when kicked into the ocean. The Trids were a very sexual people, and the population had grown quite large. Every square inch of the island, except the mountain, was crowded with Trids. The Trids spent their days crowded together, dreaming of the open space available on the ever visible mountain.

    Every few days, a Trid would decide he couldn't stand the crowds any more. He would start to climb the mountain, and the Giant would kick the Trid into the ocean. The Trids were a very depressed people. One day a traveling Rabbi visited the Island of Trid.

    Despite their overcrowded conditions, the Trids were extremely generous to this man of God. The Rabbi decided to return the favor, and to go plead the Trid's case to the Giant. "Surely the Giant can be convinced to share some of the mountain with you," the Rabbi explained. The Trids were horrified. "Please don't go, Rabbi", the Trids implored.
    "The Giant will kick you into the ocean, and you will surely drown. "The Rabbi was stubborn, and insisted that he talk to the Giant.

    The Trids sent out every boat they had. They formed a ring around the island, so that they would be able to rescue the Rabbi. The Rabbi started walking towards the mountain. No sign of the Giant. He walked through the foothills, and there was no sign of the Giant. He started up the slopes of the mountain, further than any Trid had ever been. Still no sign of the Giant. Finally he reached the summit of the mountain. There the Giant was waiting for him.

    The Rabbi asked "Tell me Giant, why have you allowed me to climb to the top of the mountain, without kicking me off the moment I started climbing?"

    And the Giant replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

    Cheers, RickO

  • rickoricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭

    A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.
    He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago. "Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.
    "What do you have there?" his mother asked.
    With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

    Cheers, RickO

  • rickoricko Posts: 98,724 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

    The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

    The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?"

    The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

    And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

    Cheers, RickO

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

  • marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,275 ✭✭✭✭✭

  • JWPJWP Posts: 22,148 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 12, 2023 11:39AM

    USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
    Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members

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