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Divorce Sucks...
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lkenefic
Posts: 7,834 ✭✭✭✭✭
Post a coin that's been split in two...
Collecting: Dansco 7070; Middle Date Large Cents (VF-AU); Box of 20;
Successful BST transactions with: SilverEagles92; Ahrensdad; Smitty; GregHansen; Lablade; Mercury10c; copperflopper; whatsup; KISHU1; scrapman1077, crispy, canadanz, smallchange, robkool, Mission16, ranshdow, ibzman350, Fallguy, Collectorcoins, SurfinxHI, jwitten, Walkerguy21D, dsessom.
Successful BST transactions with: SilverEagles92; Ahrensdad; Smitty; GregHansen; Lablade; Mercury10c; copperflopper; whatsup; KISHU1; scrapman1077, crispy, canadanz, smallchange, robkool, Mission16, ranshdow, ibzman350, Fallguy, Collectorcoins, SurfinxHI, jwitten, Walkerguy21D, dsessom.
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Just offer full face value
I'm sorry. This may be a situation where the declining market might actually help you (i.e. in getting a lower valuation). Good luck!
So does marriage !!!
Where's my boltcutters?
BST: endeavor1967, synchr, kliao, Outhaul, Donttellthewife, U1Chicago, ajaan, mCarney1173, SurfinHi, MWallace, Sandman70gt, mustanggt, Pittstate03, Lazybones, Walkerguy21D, coinandcurrency242 , thebigeng, Collectorcoins, JimTyler, USMarine6, Elkevvo, Coll3ctor, Yorkshireman, CUKevin, ranshdow, CoinHunter4, bennybravo, Centsearcher, braddick, Windycity, ZoidMeister, mirabela, JJM, RichURich, Bullsitter, jmski52, LukeMarshall
Been there, love life afterwards though it was hard during. You will get through it if you keep the right mentality.
My best advice is to define your financial and personal goals before you get into the emotional negotiations that happen so that when the time comes to make decisions you are as clear as can be on what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do.
Latin American Collection
Coins are replaceable, use them as leverage for something that's not.
As fake and as done as marriage #1
A Real one to throw in.
"You Suck Award" - February, 2015
Discoverer of 1919 Mercury Dime DDO - FS-101
Happens a lot, but never good to hear.
Sorry to hear. Relationships are tough these days and everyone wants to quit. Hang in there. You'll get through it.
“I may not believe in myself but I believe in what I’m doing” ~Jimmy Page~
My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947)
https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/
Sorry to hear it, i hope somehow you can keep most/all of your good stuff.
My wife would love to never see those coins again !
http://www.metrolyrics.com/she-got-the-goldmine-i-got-the-shaft-lyrics-jerry-reed.html
Divorce is good - it’s everything leading up to it that sucks
What coins?
Been there but the best advice I can offer is if you have kids, try to get on a friendly or at least cordial basis with your ex. It will make a world of difference to how your kids view relationships.
https://thepennylady.com/
Not if you don't have a prenup and have significant assets or can't afford a good divorce lawyer.
Just know why divorces cost sooooo much.
Because they are worth it.
OINK
Difficult, emotionally draining....financially painful. Life goes on.... The strong recover. Cheers, RickO
Sorry to hear this.
I'm in no position to offer advice but for some reason I feel the need to do so.
Don't let it define you. Life is too short and I'm sure you have much to offer.
"If I say something in the woods and my wife isn't there to hear it.....am I still wrong?"
My Washington Quarter Registry set...in progress
You will find yourself in a better place next year at this time.
Divorce sucks, sorry.. but better to leave your toys to the less fortunate
Menomonee Falls Wisconsin USA
http://www.pcgs.com/SetRegistr...dset.aspx?s=68269&ac=1">Musky 1861 Mint Set
Hang in there
Better mend that crack
I am sorry to hear and good luck
Just out of curiosity ....... why didn't you hide things leading to this predicament ?
And they are in different homes too.
Good luck @lkenefic. It does get better.
Be fiercely positive, mate. Good luck.
Smitten with DBLCs.
Where "die marriage" isn't synonymous, but coin related.
Sorry dude,
Some things to consider:
ownership pre marriage in some states is not split after the marriage dissolves
don't be fooled by "niceness" of your ex as you settle
most judges now don't care why you are divorcing
make an offer that you think is fair and will save you $$$ down the road on any attorney fees.
talk to friends and family and don't keep your emotions bottled up
I feel you're pain
Funny thing about my divorce from my ex-wife was because of a horse!
We had been married about 10 years before the budget allowed a proper farm,etc. She was a horse nut when I met her but didn't really show it too much the 2 years before we were married. Fast foward when I bought her her 1st horse. Spent big bucks breeding it, bought a couple others so I could try to be envolved...didn't work.
Bottom line was she basically divorced me in her mind and married her horses.
Luckily we avoided the lawyer crap because she knew and I knew the lawyers would get more than we would. The horses are what saved my collection! I spent just as much money on her horse hobby as I did my collecting. The 1st mention of her getting part of my collection resulted in me saying this: If you go after my collection we are also going to sell all the horses and I get my fair share! A few days later I came home from work to find my fax machine blinking because it was out of paper. Gave it some paper and found she was trying to sell the best horse to her friend for $1 with the contigency....blah,blah,blah she could buy it back later. At the time the horse was worth in the neighborhood of 50K. And that as they say was the end of that battle.
She still faired quite well. Walked away with a brand new Ford Duelly Diesel and very nice horse trailer, all the horses and enough money to buy a place with land...albiet not comparable to what we had.
She's still bitter to this day after 16 years!
Die marriage...DIE...DIE...DIE!
I've been married for 35 years...5 of the happiest years of my life. I have been told many times that divorce is highly correlated with collecting.
I've never been happier....or poorer.
Don't quote me on that.
Married 44 years. We dated all through high school.
Not every day has been a picnic. But we live by the rule we established when we were dating; never end a bad day without talking it out.
Not saying it would work for everyone, but it works for us. We're together 48 years this year, dating and marriage.
Good luck in your negotiations. I hope everything works out for both of you. Remaining bitter is a waste of life.
Cheers
Bob
To keep it coin related... in my experience it reminds me of a set collector seeing an upgrade and wanting that one to "make things better"... I don't think I've ever gotten rid of a coin just to have an empty spot in my collection. So someone in the relationship is thinking they can do better. Good advice from many posters- best advice I ever got in similar situation was "If you love someone, set them free."
(edited for clarity)
The life leading up to that point sucks. The divorce period can be stressful. The life afterward can be quite fun.
Have you looked at the actual value of your coins in the Blue book? Might be a place to start.
So does marriage !!!
Speak for yourself - my wife and I are on 43 years and counting and she's fully supportive of my addiction - er, ah, hobby..........
Member ANA, SPMC, SCNA, FUN, CONECA
Married 28 years and I still think my wife is a fox.
She has always let me do what I want to do.
Thanks for the kind words everyone... I'm sure things will work out. As far as coins and "assets" go, it's just stuff, and stuff can be replaced. However, there are a number of antiques that my mother gave to us over the years... things from my childhood that I'd like to keep or have go to the kids (ultimately) rather than see sold off. As far as coins go, I sold the bulk of my collection some years ago (I had a nearly completed 7070 type set, Morgan Dollar date set, Lincolns, IHC's, LC's, etc) and had really just started to get back into collecting so there isn't much. There are some specific pieces that I'll definitely keep, but more for sentimental value than numismatic value (a couple of silver dollars given to me by my grandfather, a handful of well circulated IHC's). If she goes after the remainder of my coins, I can go after the jewelry that my mom gave her... several very large ticket items that she likes, but I really hope it doesn't come to that.
Anyway, at this point, we're trying to work out a separation agreement (I'm still in the house) and finances are definitely a sticking point. If anyone knows a good divorce/family lawyer in the Baltimore MD area, I'd be most appreciative for the recommendation.
Again... thanks for all your kind words, this really means a lot to me right now... Leo
Successful BST transactions with: SilverEagles92; Ahrensdad; Smitty; GregHansen; Lablade; Mercury10c; copperflopper; whatsup; KISHU1; scrapman1077, crispy, canadanz, smallchange, robkool, Mission16, ranshdow, ibzman350, Fallguy, Collectorcoins, SurfinxHI, jwitten, Walkerguy21D, dsessom.
if you think Divorce is hard on the Husband and Wife, I think you should change your perspective. it can be devastating for any children involved.
No your honor I do not have coins anymore. I gave them to my kids to spend at the bowling alley while their mom was at work.
Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value. Zero. Voltaire. Ebay coinbowlllc
Absolutely! This is probably more the case for smaller children... my daughter is a freshman in college and my son is about to graduate high school. When we told them, it was about the most anticlimactic piece of news they've received. This has been a long time coming...
Successful BST transactions with: SilverEagles92; Ahrensdad; Smitty; GregHansen; Lablade; Mercury10c; copperflopper; whatsup; KISHU1; scrapman1077, crispy, canadanz, smallchange, robkool, Mission16, ranshdow, ibzman350, Fallguy, Collectorcoins, SurfinxHI, jwitten, Walkerguy21D, dsessom.
You had some great times and some horrible times. I can tell you with 100% certainty that the best way to go is to work out the distribution between the two of you. Divorce can be a very easy process if it's somewhat amicable.
An option is a collaborative divorce. You may want to check it out. Nobody wins when a divorce ends up in a trial. It costs way too much and nobody will be happy with the result.
encourage your soon to be ex to work together on splitting all the tangible items that you have accumulated. It most divorces, 4 people meet to divide the assets of a marriage and two of the four walk away with 50% of the assets each. They are usually lawyers.
some of this is not what its cracked up to be
My experience is that pre-marital assets and gifts are excluded from the division. Anything obtained with marital assets is marital property and subject to division. For the coins inherited or gifted from your grandfather to you, that is not a marital asset. You will have to list it but should be able to exclude it from calculations. Not sure about your state, but this is my understanding. If an attorney is needed... do not go cheap! If you can both meet and agree on a civil separation and division you will both be happier in the end.
I'm sorry you're going through a rough time right now. But given your kid's reaction, and your comment about it being 'a long time coming,' - all I can think of to say is, congratulations!
Now you both get a chance to be happier...
AKA Pakasmom