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"Good Morning Class" Pirates of the Coinibbean --The Curse of... Part 2

Somewhere in the Coinibbean, The P.O.S. has taken to the high seas. It is a humble vessel, with a slight list to the port and her sails in rags--nonetheless, Captain Hallatio Coinblower must work with what he has. The Captain stands on the quarterdeck with the ship's surgeon and his first mate Mister Kranky

Captain Coinblower: Doctor! How are Mister Kranky's frankies?
Doctor Poole: Happy to report sir, with a little putty and some thumbing--good as new!
Mister Kranky: Thanks be to ya, Doc!
Captain Coinblower: Excellent work, Poole!
Doctor Poole: Thank you, sir!

Coinblower scans the horizon with a spyglass

Mis-ter Kranky! Who is our cook this trip?

Mister Kranky: They calls him Tonecoin2003, Cap'n!
Captain Coinblower: Aswimmer?
Mister Kranky: Doubt he can swim, Cap'n! Fatter'n a cannon ball!
Captain Coinblower: Well! (perky) How fair the crew!
Mister Kranky: Somes are questioning yer guarantee ta ‘ave ‘em back in fifteen days, sir!
Captain Coinblower: (snapping the spyglass shut) DOGS!! (pauses) It’s Silver isn’t it? BLAST HIS EYES! I'll live to regret bringing that man on board!

On deck, Long Jom Silver packs his pipe, speaking in a low voice timbered by years at sea

Long Jom Silver: (nodding at Coinblower) Look at 'em up there... sawed-off little rooster!
All: (murmuring) Arrrrr...
Tiny Peetie: There's some thinks you should be Cap'n, Long Jom!
Bingo Baily: Keep yer voice down! Kiefer the cabin boy's sniffing 'round!
Mr. Arco: Arrrr!
TwoDogs: (scowling) I'd like to send Coinblower and ‘is cabin boy to Bill Jones' Locker!
Mr. Arco: ARRRRR!!!!
Mr. Barberlover: Tell us 'bout The Jade Coin, Long Jom--some say it's a ghost ship!

Long Jom Silver: GHOST SHIP? (he draws off his pipe) When last I see’d The Jade, I was on The HMS Tradedollarnut. Chasing her for weeks we was—back and forth between here and the N G Sea.… When we finally caught her, we opened fire with twenty crack four pounders from a sword’s length away! TERRIBLE DIN, BOYS!! Smoke and fire and the smell of sulfer and death!!! But when the smoke clears... (he fixes them with a hard stare) ... there be nothin' there!

JxnBoy: Nuthin'?

Long Jom Silver: Aye! The Jade vanished without a trace. Not a plank... not a boot... not a thread.
Mr. Arco: Arrrrr???
Jxnboy (confused) Where'd it go?
Long Jom Silver: Somes says straight to Hell. But Coinblower and I'se know different.

Mean Mozeppa: Ow'ed you lose that leg, Long Jom?

Long Jom Silver: Remember--I served on The Jade Coin too, boys!

All: Arrrrrrr!

Long Jom Silver: --Was with her when it took The Norweb! A fine treasure was ours... until your Captain Coinblower hoved into view... his first shot hit our mizzenmast--AND THE MAIN TUCK TOOK ME LEG!!

All: HAAAAAR!!!!!

Corkkarl: Yer a devil and liar, Silver!
Long Jom Silver: (grabbing his pistol) Yer always poppin' off, Corkkarl! Hold yer tongue or lose it!!!
Corkkarl: Why would Coinblower go after The Jade Coin again?
Long Jom Silver: The mizzen got me leg... and Coinblower got THE NORWEB TREASURE! (nose to nose with Corkkarl) BUT not all of it, mate! And it cost 'em his commission in the Royal Navy....

…He's got unfinished business with The Jade. And I’ve unfinished business with 'im.


Down in the galley, Mad Martin of Mumsford is waking up with a terrible hangover

Mad Martin: (pained) Oooooh... where am I? ...ow'd I get here?
Cook Tonecoin2003: Yer on THE P.O.S. Now shut yer gob and start peelin' those potatoes!

Mad Martin sways back and forth staring groggily into the potato barrel. With a mighty roar he pukeths into the barrel

BLARRRRAARRLLLLLAARWWWARRRLLLL!!!!!!! ...eck!

--Silence--

Cook Tonecoin2003: (stunned) YOU STINKIN' WOG!!!!!!

Mad Martin: (smiling) Oops! I did it again!


To Be Continued....

Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
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