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Re: The forum needs a little humor.
A woman goes to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says,… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
WHy I Like Retirement! Less than 80% correct and you have to go back to work. Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Two hours after falling asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
These are apparently real conversations between pilots and towers. Tower: “Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!” Delta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!” A Cessna inbound at the reporting point over SYD. Tower (Female controller): “Cessna WYXD, congestion at airport approach. I’m going to… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
(full disclosure lol, I might have posted this 2 yrs ago) Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoeshine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine. One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
ETERNAL TRUTHS 1) Once over the hill, you pick up speed. 2) I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. 3) If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all. 4) Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. 5) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 6) I know God won't… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local grocery store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the… -
Re: The forum needs a little humor.
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL: 1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.…
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