Was I too subtle in the way I told a (would-be) client that I didn't want to do business with him?

"You are amazing!
Apparently, you had time to email ------ about what he might have for sale, but didn't even have the courtesy or decency to get back to me over an 8 day period. And that was after you asked me and I agreed to hold several coins for you, even though we had never done business before. How incredibly rude and inconsiderate. That's not how I do business. Please do not ever contact me again.
Sincerely,
Mark Feld"
And some of you say I'm too diplomatic and/or nice.
Now, in order to try to turn this into a positive and helpful experience in trying to get buyers and sellers on the same page........ if you, as a would-be buyer asked a dealer to place coins on hold for you, and said you might have to leave town due to a possible health issue of a relative and needed an "extra day or so", how long would you think the dealer should hold the coins if he didn't hear back from you? Thanks.
Apparently, you had time to email ------ about what he might have for sale, but didn't even have the courtesy or decency to get back to me over an 8 day period. And that was after you asked me and I agreed to hold several coins for you, even though we had never done business before. How incredibly rude and inconsiderate. That's not how I do business. Please do not ever contact me again.
Sincerely,
Mark Feld"
And some of you say I'm too diplomatic and/or nice.

Now, in order to try to turn this into a positive and helpful experience in trying to get buyers and sellers on the same page........ if you, as a would-be buyer asked a dealer to place coins on hold for you, and said you might have to leave town due to a possible health issue of a relative and needed an "extra day or so", how long would you think the dealer should hold the coins if he didn't hear back from you? Thanks.
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Comments
<< <i>And some of you say I'm too diplomatic and/or nice.
Don't worry. I would never say that about you.
Its not very specific but as a buyer I would expect 2-3 days. If I was going to take any longer I would contact the dealer and explain my situation and ask for a longer period and hope they would agree.
Now lets flip it.
As a dealer are you actually removing the coins from your listing thus not being able to sell them, are you marking them down in your inventory as on hold and perhaps not generating any interest or are you listing them but if anyone asks to buy them you are telling them they are on hold but your next in line if it doesn't go through?
If you are listing them as normal but no one has approached you for a sale I would still be a bit peeved with the "buyer" but maybe not so much as I would be with the first scenario.
Otherwise I say 8 days and not contact? Fire 'em!
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
I figure about 9 days.
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<< <i> needed an "extra day or so", how long would you think the dealer should hold the coins if he didn't hear back from you?
Its not very specific but as a buyer I would expect 2-3 days. If I was going to take any longer I would contact the dealer and explain my situation and ask for a longer period and hope they would agree.
Now lets flip it.
As a dealer are you actually removing the coins from your listing thus not being able to sell them, are you marking them down in your inventory as on hold and perhaps not generating any interest or are you listing them but if anyone asks to buy them you are telling them they are on hold but your next in line if it doesn't go through?
If you are listing them as normal but no one has approached you for a sale I would still be a bit peeved with the "buyer" but maybe not so much as I would be with the first scenario. >>
Those are good questions and I agree with your perspective.
The coins remained listed on my website. In the event of an inquiry or request from another party, I would have said that the coins were on hold, that I would check with the person who had them on hold and provide an update as soon as I knew something, either way. That occurs fairly frequently, especially when I send out new lists of coins for sale.
<<If some family tragedy befell your words might seem a bit harsh.
Otherwise I say 8 days and not contact? Fire 'em!>>
Did you miss the part where I wrote that the person contacted another dealer during the same 8 day time period, to see what he had for sale?
MrEureka I love your humour. That made me laugh!
<< <i> I figure about 9 days.
MrEureka I love your humour. That made me laugh! >>
Me too!
<< <i>What if he got in accident and was in a coma, or dead? I would say to anyone who wants me to hold coins that after 7 calendar days (not business days) the hold is removed until full payment is received or a substantial down payment is provided. Make it part of the policy. >>
Did you miss the part where I wrote that the person contacted another dealer during the same 8 day time period, to see what he had for sale?
What if his kid died? Would you really want that email in his inbox? Would you like an email like that?
I would have made the rules of this transaction more firm and known upfront as to avoid what transpired?
I am sure you offer a full money back if coins are returned in same condition within x days? If he thought he wanted them i would have suggested he take that route.
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<< <i>Personally i am not impressed with your reply, seems to me you went overboard and and acted immature. Sounds more like a 16 year old talking to her boyfriend, than a top notch well respected coin dealer. What does the 8th day mean? You decided to wait 8 days to send the email after a non response? Why not 4 days? 5 days?
What if his kid died? Would you really want that email in his inbox? Would you like an email like that?
I would have made the rules of this transaction more firm and known upfront as to avoid what transpired?
I am sure you offer a full money back if coins are returned in same condition within x days? If he thought he wanted them i would have suggested he take that route. >>
The 8th day was when I learned that he had contacted the other dealer (more than once, I might add). Had I not been made aware of that, I would not have sent the message, as written. During that same 8 day period, I had sent two emails and not received a reply.
For the record, I didn't expect that my email would impress anyone. It is a far cry from how I usually converse with people, even though there have been a few other occasions where I wanted to write something like that, but didn't.
Is this common practice amongst dealers? I suppose with gold and coins there is a better chance for fraud so you may have to share info. I hope it works out for you.
<< <i>So the other dealer calls you and tells you about a client he has.... and you find out that this is your client also?
Is this common practice amongst dealers? I suppose with gold and coins there is a better chance for fraud so you may have to share info. I hope it works out for you. >>
In this particular case, the would-be client had initially contacted me out of the blue and given me the name of the other dealer as a reference. In a conversation with that dealer today, I learned that he had been contacted by the client (who, for whatever reason, hadn't been in touch with me for the past 8 days, after asking me to hold the coins).
As the would-be, buyer, if I were amidst a family medical emergency, the absolute last thing I would be doing would be shopping for new coins.
Dear (rude) patient:
You've now made 3 appointments for which you haven't shown up. I have a 2 million dollar machine in 13,000 ft of prime office space and 100 employees. You've deprived me of $3000 in billings.
Please don't ever call my office again!
Sincerely,
Lakesammman
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
But regardless, not sure I really care about this thread since I don't like other people's dirty laundry. Kind of pointless to me, unless of course it allows you to vent and feel better or make yourself seem like a powerful tough guy. Oohhh, I sent a strong email, blah blah blah. Seems like a private matter to me.
Welcome back, RYK. How was the summer break??
<< <i>I think there are too many cranky folks involved in the coin world, but that's just me >>
I AM NOT CRANKY!!!!!
–John Adams, 1826
"Got a flaming heart, can't get my fill"
To me it's the same as any business with goods for sale. For instance, I recently had an offer from a GMC dealer on a new automobile. He quoted me and I asked him to give me 24 hours to think aobut it as I had also received quotes from a Chevy dealer on a similar model. He was quite frank in stating that the offer was good, but if another buyer came along in the interim it would be sold.
Pretty simple business practice if you ask me.
Why complain? If you actually had another offer in the interim you should have moved the goods. You don't make money by being altruistic. Seems your more fussed over the fact that you found out this guy was soliciting offers from another dealer. I say, "get over it". It's your merchandise, your business, your decision in how long to hold merchandise for a potential new client. If I were selling and a potential client asked me to put some merchandise on hold I would offer a lay-away plan. 1/4 up front and the remainder in 3 equal monthly installments. You still keep the merchandise in case he fails to come thru. If the guy is really committed, he will agree to the lay-away plan.
I also agree with Realone's observation about these types of threads. That stated I love to read 'em, some can be quite entertaining.
Cheers!
Kirk
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after all you said
please
and then
Sincerely
While it might be inconceivable to you that the would-be client didn't have a valid reason for not getting in touch with you, the fact remains, you don't know that. You gained little, if anything, in writing what you did, and showing yourself to be rude and hot headed. And you burned a bridge unnecessarily. Once you write and send something like that, you can't take it back. Next time, write it, if it will make you feel better, but don't send it.
<< <i>If another poster wrote that email, based on the limited information provided, I would probably post something to the effect of:
While it might be inconceivable to you that the would-be client didn't have a valid reason for not getting in touch with you, the fact remains, you don't know that. You gained little, if anything, in writing what you did, and showing yourself to be rude and hot headed. And you burned a bridge unnecessarily. Once you write and send something like that, you can't take it back. Next time, write it, if it will make you feel better, but don't send it. >>
Good advice!
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<< <i>If another poster wrote that email, based on the limited information provided, I would probably post something to the effect of:
While it might be inconceivable to you that the would-be client didn't have a valid reason for not getting in touch with you, the fact remains, you don't know that. You gained little, if anything, in writing what you did, and showing yourself to be rude and hot headed. And you burned a bridge unnecessarily. Once you write and send something like that, you can't take it back. Next time, write it, if it will make you feel better, but don't send it. >>
WOW that is the perfect answer! I have done the 'ol write the hot headed email rant and then read it 3 times and delete, on MANY occasions. I am sure it has saved me many times in life. It is funny how writing it out can at times do the trick.
Experience the World through Numismatics...it's more than you can imagine.
Tell us want you really wanted to say.
<< <i>Does this free up the coin for which I was #2?
No.
<< <i>This thread would be a lot more interesting if the "(would-be) client" was a forum member. >>
A lil shoe tossing and this would have gone 100+ rapidly!
BTW - This is probably the way I would have ORIGINALLY typed up the note, but then after going for a walk, etc, hopefully, I'd tone it down a bit before sending it. But you are a big boy, and I'm in no position to give advice, just stating my take on it, from the 10,000 ft level.
<< <i>This thread would be a lot more interesting if the "(would-be) client" was a forum member. >>