Men Who Collect Coins and Impending Involuntary Adult Bachelorhood...Is There a Correlation?

WTCG · September 16, 2009 9:27AM

This question sort of relates to the question about women and their relationship to numismatics, especially to the other thread asking about the reasons for the lack of women who collect coins or broker coins as a profession. Here's another issue I've noticed that sort of pertains to that area:

Over the years I've noticed that the men involved with numismatics seem to have a higher rate of adult bachelorhood (men over the age of 35 who have never married. Divorce doesn't count.) than the rest of the adult male population in general. Is there perhaps a correlation between involvement with coins and the inopportunities to marry? Could this be an issue that can relate to the lack of female numismatists? Are coin collectors more in love with their collections than with members of the opposite sex? Are male coin collectors largely an antisocial bunch? Are the honies turned off by the coin collecting habit?

In all honesty I can think of dozens of other coin dealers and coin collectors I am aquainted with who are in their 40's, 50's and 60's who have never married and live by themselves, their siblings or even their parents, and that's not even including those who have been divorced.

I have my own opinions on this subject, but what do you all think about this social dilemma?

19Lyds · September 16, 2009 9:30AM

I think a lot of them spend too much time on PCGS.com instead of Match.Com.

In other words, if your business or hobby requires computer time after your regular job, there's not much room for a social life.

IGWT · September 16, 2009 9:35AM

If you include men who are single through divorce, the percentage is HUGE. Reason? A combination of appearance and personality explalins a lot.

BlindedByEgo · September 16, 2009 9:36AM

Shower.

19Lyds · September 16, 2009 9:37AM

<< Shower. >>

Whats that?

LindeDad · September 16, 2009 9:38AM

Geeks of all types tend to be loners.

intence · September 16, 2009 9:42AM

<< Geeks of all types tend to be loners.

>>

^^^^^^^^^^

ACactions · September 16, 2009 9:46AM

My wife and I collect together. She tells me what she likes and I buy it... She also has completed multiple sets... She loves coins, Large notes, and Silver... we spend a lot of time going to shows, auctions, and flea markets... always looking for a deal. I have a great life partner who loves coins and me. It is a blessing.

JOhn

MrEureka · September 16, 2009 9:51AM

I don't know the answer but I do have a question. For the general male population, is there a correlation between IQ and marital status?

STONE · September 16, 2009 9:55AM

Wei, you are braver than me to bring this topic to the public arena.
Yes, I have DEFINITELY seen a correlation to unmarried/bachelor men and this hobby.
Then again, I'm sure that if the divorce rate were included, then that would be high as well.

Why, you might ask, is a totally different matter.
Hygene, appearance, and other physical matters aside.
This hobby is pressure sensitive now-a-days. What I mean is that everyone would like the best [coins], and many sacrifice a lot to get there (time, money, social settings).
This sacrifice in-turn may lead to a sense of prestige in that collector/collection within the numismatic world.
But it really doesn't aid in appeasing the opposite sex, or not much at least.

Actually, I find that the best collections are assembled by people who seem to have a great relationship with their better half, who in-turn adds support to their collecting goals. When there's less support, there is more pressure applied to the (most likely male) coin collector to spend more and obtain better examples, whether for himself (selfishly) or to appease his/her partner.

These are just ideas I've had on the issue, but none are yet to be proven as fact.

STONE · September 16, 2009 9:56AM

<< I don't know the answer but I do have a question. For the general male population, is there a correlation between IQ and marital status? >>

Are you correlating a high IQ with the hobby or a low one?
I know that many of the YN's I know are well educated and are going to some exceptional colleges/universities.

BBN · September 16, 2009 10:00AM

I have mentioned in the past that our hobby attracts more than its share of those with no people skills. Also, another group that our hobby attracts, is the Montana Freeman, guns buried in the yard, stockpiles of military ready to eat meals type of people. I would guess the average person gets very intimidated by this.

rgCoinGuy · September 16, 2009 10:04AM

<< I don't know the answer but I do have a question. For the general male population, is there a correlation between IQ and marital status? >>

Yes. The lower the woman's IQ, the more attractive to the general male in population, and therefore the higher the chances of being married. Source: Maureen Dowd.

ColonialCoinUnion · September 16, 2009 10:09AM

All I know is that my wife likes coins.

fishteeth · September 16, 2009 10:14AM

All I know is my wife hates coins, although probably not as much as she hates my fishing. I actually spend much more time
and money on fishing than coins.

IGWT · September 16, 2009 10:29AM

<< I don't know the answer but I do have a question. For the general male population, is there a correlation between IQ and marital status? >>

Yes. Einstein married twice. But wasn't his second wife his cousin?

Edited for typo.

ocon4008 · September 16, 2009 10:33AM

IMHO, barring innate ability, getting good at something takes years of practice; look at all the major leagues for an example. Cal Ripken credits his father for all his success. He was undoubtedly born with natural talent, but his father instilled in him a work ethic to practice every day.

I read on these boards all the time that it takes time and practice to develop an eye for grading. Given the amount of material a good dealer must absorb to have a modicum of knowledge on each series in order to survive; let alone one series to specialize in. I can imagine it does leave much time for learning social skills, or having a life in general.

I guess it boils done to personal choice.

FredF · September 16, 2009 10:39AM

My coin collection helped my marriage, even though my wife doesn't like coins.

A) Gave me something outside of work and family to occupy time with

I am good about sticking to budget, and I finally found something to spend money on so she feels less bad shopping (and I don't give her a hard time about that).

If I spend $75 on a "penny" then why can't she spend $75 on shoes.

But it works for us. I think if some folks are having problems already then hobbies may be picked up to give someone something outside of work & family to occupy time with, just like me, but more for a dose of sanity than for a nice peaceful break.

I don't know that there's a correlation.

-Fred

golfer72 · September 16, 2009 10:42AM

Very simple. Married guys have no money for coins since their wives spend it all.

RYK · September 16, 2009 10:46AM

My wife likes the fact that instead of chasing nurses and bimbos, I am chasing Dahlonegas and Longacres.

She is away on a business trip, earning money for my future purchases.

CopperWire · September 16, 2009 10:50AM

This thread assumes all male coin collectors are heterosexual.

TwoSides2aCoin · September 16, 2009 10:52AM

Marriages are proof that institutions really work.

TwoSides2aCoin · September 16, 2009 10:56AM

Here's half a cent to keep it coin related.

MrEureka · September 16, 2009 11:04AM

<My wife likes the fact that instead of chasing nurses and bimbos, I am chasing Dahlonegas and Longacres. >

This thread assumes all male coin collectors are heterosexual.

Guess you missed the response right above yours. (And the Longacre RYK thing was sooooo obvious!)

lathmach · September 16, 2009 11:05AM

Coin collectors don't always have the best relationship with women, and really should stay single.
This one middle aged coin collector was sitting in his overstuffed recliner one day, wearing his favorite smoking jacket, and reading the latest blurb by his hero, Q David Bowers.
His wife came into the room and slugged him in the kisser.
It sorta surprised him and he asked her why she'd hit him, as he wiped away the blood.
She then pulled out a piece of paper and said she'd found it in his coat pocket, and it had "Linda Lou" written on it.
He said, Honey......... I went to the races last Friday, that was the name of the horse I bet on.
His wife was real sorry and asked him to forgive her.
A few weeks went by, and the guy was again sitting in his chair, reading the latest issue of Coin World when his wife came in and clobbered him in the head with a cast iron frying pan.
Holding his aching head, he asked her why she'd hit him.
She said, .........Your horse called today,.............. it's pregnant.

Ray

pennyannie · September 16, 2009 11:10AM

If women want to find a husband, i would think they would find a better type of man at a coin show than a bar. Some people like to be single and free, i like misery. 46 years old, married 25 of those.

I see more overweight OLDER MEN that may not dress the best or smell like roses, they may or may not be married. The younger guys seem normal to me. lol

BBN · September 16, 2009 11:11AM

My wife has been totally cool about my purchasing. Once we got out of debt we agreed that each of us get a certain amount of spending money each pay period. You can spend it all in one day or save it for a year and have $5,000 to spend on one purchase, or whatever. She knows that coins have resell value unlike most sports memorabilia and eletronics and it keeps me at the house.

BBN · September 16, 2009 11:15AM

<< Coin collectors don't always have the best relationship with women, and really should stay single.
This one middle aged coin collector was sitting in his overstuffed recliner one day, wearing his favorite smoking jacket, and reading the latest blurb by his hero, Q David Bowers.
His wife came into the room and slugged him in the kisser.
It sorta surprised him and he asked her why she'd hit him, as he wiped away the blood.
She then pulled out a piece of paper and said she'd found it in his coat pocket, and it had "Linda Lou" written on it.
He said, Honey......... I went to the races last Friday, that was the name of the horse I bet on.
His wife was real sorry and asked him to forgive her.
A few weeks went by, and the guy was again sitting in his chair, reading the latest issue of Coin World when his wife came in and clobbered him in the head with a cast iron frying pan.
Holding his aching head, he asked her why she'd hit him.
She said, .........Your horse called today,.............. it's pregnant.

Ray >>

nice

one part you mentioned, but I know you were being sarcastic is staying single to pursue collecting. I'd give up coins in a heartbeat for marriage and a family life. I enjoy coin collecting, but would give it up in a heartbeat for my marriage. I enjoy married life and my kids 1 million times more than coins.

SkyMan · September 16, 2009 12:38PM

Don't get me wrong with what I'm about to say, a lot of coin collectors are perfectly normal people that are wonderful people to get to know and become friends with. Having said that, I've noticed that a lot of coin collectors seem to have, shall we say, some issues. A good chunk appear to be OCD. I also suspect (speaking as one in recovery myself) that there is a significantly higher percentage of heavy drinkers/alcoholics/self medicators than the population as a whole.

On a purely physical side of things, I would say that coin collectors, as a group, tend to be more obese than the population in general, which is not exactly a babe magnet sort of a thing. Finally, there are definitely those that don't take a bath or do any other sort of perfectly obvious socially important "grooming".

IGWT · September 16, 2009 12:54PM

<< Don't get me wrong with what I'm about to say, a lot of coin collectors are perfectly normal people that are wonderful people to get to know and become friends with. Having said that, I've noticed that a lot of coin collectors seem to have, shall we say, some issues. A good chunk appear to be OCD. I also suspect (speaking as one in recovery myself) that there is a significantly higher percentage of heavy drinkers/alcoholics/self medicators than the population as a whole.

On a purely physical side of things, I would say that coin collectors, as a group, tend to be more obese than the population in general, which is not exactly a babe magnet sort of a thing. Finally, there are definitely those that don't take a bath or do any other sort of perfectly obvious socially important "grooming". >>

Other than that, we're swell.

ElKevvo · September 16, 2009 12:55PM

I think that is sort of common with any pursuit that can become a bit obsessive. I work with a bunch of guys who complain about not meeting any girls also...'So how was your weekend?' 'Great, I stayed up 'till 4 am Saturday playing Doom online then again Saturday night into Sunday then slept most of Sunday but got up to watch a football game."

And they wonder why they never they never meet anyone.

K

garsmith · September 16, 2009 1:07PM

<< men over the age of 35 who have never married >>

I fell in this group, until 3 years ago. It wasn't because of coin collecting though it was because I was working an average of 86 hours per week.

JSsson · September 16, 2009 5:43PM

Recalling this demographics thread from a little while ago it appears that the number of unmarried adult men isn't terribly minute even amongst board members. The fact that there appears to be quite a lot of unmarried men who are serious coin collectors is also a trend I have noticed since becoming a more serious coin collector.

However I can vouch for the fact this trait is not exclusive to just coin collectors. In my work as a software engineer I see lots of my male colleagues face the same dilemmas with women as mentioned before. Many of the guys complain about how women respond negatively to them when they try to strike up a conversation or how difficult it is to meet women. That becomes difficult when the guy's spend time they could be using for socializing to play video games and chat online.

Luckily I'm happily married and the kids keep me occupied which by default keeps me away from all that negativity towards dating many of my male colleagues experience.

FullStepJeffs · September 16, 2009 6:28PM

What my wife doesn't know... won't hurt me.

But, one day... she will realize I really was doing all of it for her long term future.

Steve

SDSportsFan · September 16, 2009 6:49PM

I really don't know the answer, since I didn't start collecting coins until I was 40.

Of course, maybe the answer to my having never been married is the fact that I've been collecting baseball cards since I was a kid, and I'm also a life-long Trekkie

Steve

500Bay · September 16, 2009 7:03PM

I'm not sure there is causal relationship, but I would think that single men have more time and funds to devote to hobbies such as collecting.
Perhaps it is personality trait that keeps them single, or perhaps the collecting bug is a result of being single. Which comes first, I know not.

A coin show generally shows a frightening scene of men to a potential mate. Then again, other predominately male hobbies would also be repulsive to many women.

melvin289 · September 16, 2009 7:47PM

60 years old, single, never married, live alone with a cat, (we're both straight, me and the cat that is). Been in a couple of long term relationships with females in my life but none took. Am seeing a young lady, way too young for me at the moment. Take a bath at least once a day and sometimes more often. I even brush my teeth and floss. Not the best dresser in the world but don't worry about it. Keeping it coin related, I collect classic commems and am working on my birth year set.

Ron

Baley · September 17, 2009 4:06AM

I'll put it to you this way: when I was young and single, I was an avid coin collector. about age 14, started spending free time and money on girls instead of coins. lapsed in collecting until my mid-30's, when, newly single, I had time and money again for coins. collected avidly from 97-2002. THEN got married, had kids, and don't collect much anymore.

So I'd say with a sample of N=1, (but probably not uncommon in general theme) coin collecting is inversely proportional to social life, especially romantic and family relationships.

I expect to have a second numismatic rebirth, and third age of collecting, in my 60's (two decades from now) when the youngest is out of college. Until then, a coin here and a coin there is the best I can expect...

Unknown · September 17, 2009 4:17AM

This content has been removed.

RYK · September 17, 2009 4:21AM

<< I'll put it to you this way: when I was young and single, I was an avid coin collector. about age 14, started spending free time and money on girls instead of coins. lapsed in collecting until my mid-30's, when, newly single, I had time and money again for coins. collected avidly from 97-2002. THEN got married, had kids, and don't collect much anymore.

So I'd say with a sample of N=1, (but probably not uncommon in general theme) coin collecting is inversely proportional to social life, especially romantic and family relationships.

I expect to have a second numismatic rebirth, and third age of collecting, in my 60's (two decades from now) when the youngest is out of college. Until then, a coin here and a coin there is the best I can expect... >>

My trajectory has been very similar to Baley's, but for some reason, I have been able to balance collecting with family and other passions and interests.

KentuckyJ · September 17, 2009 4:38AM

> and other passions and interests.

I've seen your tweets, ryk43. I think we all know coin collecting is not your #1 passion

Longacre · September 17, 2009 4:40AM

It's a lot cheaper to collect coins than red-heads (although in the case of Mrs. L, red-heads are excessively expensive, too).

renomedphys · September 17, 2009 5:04AM

My wife likes the fact that occasionally I make enough on a single coin to pay for all the other screwups. That said, it's about time for another score

RYK · September 17, 2009 5:11AM

<< > and other passions and interests.

I've seen your tweets, ryk43. I think we all know coin collecting is not your #1 passion

>>

SanctionII · September 17, 2009 5:29AM

Interesting topic/question.

My initial response is that some people are much more suited to spending time with things (i.e. coins, cars, wine, art, music, books, tools, etc.) than they are spending time with people.

If an unmarried collector (male or female) between say 20-35 years of age has such a tendency, the likelihood of that person ever getting married in a conventional sense [meeting someone, courting someone, getting engaged and getting married as opposed to seeking a "mail order bride from outer Slobovia"] is remote.

I collected as a kid and lost interest once I went to college and grad school. From college forward, through grad school, work, engagement and my first 12 years of marriage, I did not collect and had no interest in it.

Then in 1998 while out one Saturday performing tasks in the "Honey Do List" I drove by a hotel with a marquee announcing the Nor. Cal. Coin show (I wish that show was still put on:frown

and I decided to stop by for a few minutes since I had never been to a coin show. I walked in and BAM, the bug reappeared and bit me hard. Took up the hobby again and have had fun with it since then. My wife and kids are not interested in the hobby, but they humor me and do not begrudge me my fun.

If I had not left the hobby for over 20 years and devoted my spare time primarly to the hobby, who knows if I would have married.

mrearlygold · September 17, 2009 5:39AM

<< All I know is that my wife likes coins. >>

Same here

PerryHall · September 17, 2009 6:11AM

I belong to some coin clubs and it's not too hard to figure out why the one's who are bachelors never got married.

BECOKA · September 17, 2009 6:15AM

Not sure why, I am happily married and my wife can't stand coins and thinks I'm a geek and a little bit crazy for what I do.

Ed1840 · September 17, 2009 6:19AM

<< All I know is my wife hates coins, although probably not as much as she hates my fishing. I actually spend much more time
and money on fishing than coins. >>

I finially got my wife to start fishing, she still hates coins, but there's always hope. I think it may be the if you can't beat 'em join 'em thing.

Ed1840 · September 17, 2009 6:31AM

I know a few collectors who are single, one lives with mom and dad (he's 54 by the way), the others are married, and one is divorced. The single guy is a semi-social person who believes without a woman he has more money for his hobby. The married ones don't have their spouses involved. The divorced one don't count, it wasn't coin related, although he did have to sell most of his collection for her. Me, my wife don't seem to see the point of paying anything more than a cent for a cent, but she understands that I really enjoy this, so she don't give me too much static. She also points out things that she has seen (a little shop with coins for sale that I didn't know of, a strange find in change, or something seen on t.v.).

CoinJunkie · September 17, 2009 7:36AM

<< That being said have you seen what a group of engineers or rocket scientists look like, not much different than us and frankly us as a gruop may be pretty close intellectually with the rocket scientists. >>

I believe when John Kennedy was asked privately if he really believed we could get to the moon in ten years, he
replied: "Hey, it's not exactly coin collecting."

Men Who Collect Coins and Impending Involuntary Adult Bachelorhood...Is There a Correlation?

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