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Divorce battle wife going after coin collection. Suggestions?

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    BochimanBochiman Posts: 25,790 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Do you have any pictures, or videos, of her nude?
    If so, suggest a trade....straight across.

    I've been told I tolerate fools poorly...that may explain things if I have a problem with you. Current ebay items - Nothing at the moment

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    savoyspecialsavoyspecial Posts: 7,372 ✭✭✭✭
    >>Do you have any pictures, or videos, of her nude?>>


    BST board??

    greg

    www.brunkauctions.com

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    << <i>...... and remember you are in a WAR.

    Get your head out of the past; forget about pity; forget being generous.
    She wants you dead, and the only reason divorce is in play is because
    murder is illegal and hard to get away with. She is your mortal enemy.
    If you cannot embrace these notions, you might as well throw-in the
    towel and let her toss your broke self into the gutter, BEFORE you
    waste money on your legal fees.

    Good Luck! >>



    Damn, dude. You summed it up shockingly accurately.
    image
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    notwilightnotwilight Posts: 12,864 ✭✭✭


    << <i>Everything of value on both sides should be added into the estate and the value should be divided 50/50. I know that in my case, her jewelry values would be a strong offset to my coin values, at least for purposes of division of assets. I'm really sorry to hear about this hypothetical situation, and I hope that it works out OK for everyone involved. Hypothetically, of course image >>



    When I was married, I gave expensive jewelry as gifts at birthdays, Christmas, etc. Gifts don't get split. Just before each holiday a married man should buy a piece of jewelry for the estate and for her present, she gets to wear it. --Jerry
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    BAJJERFANBAJJERFAN Posts: 31,645 ✭✭✭✭✭


    << <i>you should never have let her get that inventory - I have a safe deposit box that some people do not know about, and it is in my son's name.

    I like the suggestion above - Start a good inventory on her jewelry . . . and HER FAVORITE items, and play like you want them. >>



    I guess that might be a good reason not to have a Registry set too.
    theknowitalltroll;
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    SwampboySwampboy Posts: 13,245 ✭✭✭✭✭


    << <i>Do you have any pictures, or videos, of her nude?
    If so, suggest a trade....straight across. >>




    image

    "Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso

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    pakasmompakasmom Posts: 1,920
    Okay. I'll probably get shouted down for this, but... She sounds seriously p*ssed off. And defusing that is imperative. Most women want to be "heard." Offer to go to counseling with her. Actually go. Try to listen to her grievances. If nothing else, it buys you some time. If you end up in court, and you listened to what she said to the counselor, you'll be forewarned about where she'll be going. ie: for your head, or lower. Best case scenario, maybe you can even turn this thing around. Best of luck.
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    notwilightnotwilight Posts: 12,864 ✭✭✭


    << <i>

    << <i>...... and remember you are in a WAR. Get your head out of the past; forget about pity; forget being generous. She wants you dead, and the only reason divorce is in play is because murder is illegal and hard to get away with. She is your mortal enemy. If you cannot embrace these notions, you might as well throw-in the towel and let her toss your broke self into the gutter, BEFORE you waste money on your legal fees. Good Luck! >>

    Damn, dude. You summed it up shockingly accurately. >>



    Yes, that's a good summary. If this hypothetical ever goes real, get the most no-nonsense, ruthless lawyer you can find because all the rest will just write letters back and forth blowing sunshine up each others drawers and charging you $400/hr for it. They want it to drag on. I finally hired the "100mph fastball closer" (aka grim reaper) in august (2 yrs ago) and was divorced in oct. If I'd hired him two years earlier, I'd now be divorced for 4 years instead of 2. don't waste your time. Move directly to the endgame. --jerry
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    notwilightnotwilight Posts: 12,864 ✭✭✭


    << <i>Okay. I'll probably get shouted down for this, but... She sounds seriously p*ssed off. And defusing that is imperative. .... >>



    imageimage
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    Best case scenario, maybe you can even turn this thing around. Best of luck.

    agree. coins are of little value in comparison.
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    jmski52jmski52 Posts: 23,972 ✭✭✭✭✭
    My ex is an attorney, and hell hath no fury greater than an attorney scorned. Be prepared for all kinds of irrational crap. I hired a female attorney who did just fine.

    If you know which assets she will want, count on using those to negotiate over. If you lose the coins because she wants to overvalue them - fine. They are just coins. Your freedom and peace of mind is worth more.

    It's like birthing pains - you gotta do it, and once you get through it, the world is a much brighter place. In the meantime, get accurate valuations of everything and start deciding where to draw the line, because you will be drawing one, probably more than one.
    Q: Are You Printing Money? Bernanke: Not Literally

    I knew it would happen.
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    DUIGUYDUIGUY Posts: 7,252 ✭✭✭
    Three rounds from a .45. First through the battery, second round through the carberater, third round into the exhaust pipes. She ain't ridin that Harly nowhere after this! FACT! image
    “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly."



    - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106-43 BC
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    << <i>Do you have any pictures, or videos, of her nude?
    If so, suggest a trade....straight across. >>



    Hmmmm, now that's a tough one. I'm kind of fond of those files. Besides, I'll be needin' them for a little while maybe ;-]
    image
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    << <i>Okay. I'll probably get shouted down for this, but... She sounds seriously p*ssed off. And defusing that is imperative. Most women want to be "heard." Offer to go to counseling with her. Actually go. Try to listen to her grievances. If nothing else, it buys you some time. If you end up in court, and you listened to what she said to the counselor, you'll be forewarned about where she'll be going. ie: for your head, or lower. Best case scenario, maybe you can even turn this thing around. Best of luck. >>



    I do appreciate the alternative suggestion but it is so beyond that.
    image
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    bidaskbidask Posts: 14,057 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Get a bid from a couple of dealers, split the diffference in the bids and pay her half.
    I manage money. I earn money. I save money .
    I give away money. I collect money.
    I don’t love money . I do love the Lord God.




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    droopyddroopyd Posts: 5,381 ✭✭✭


    << <i>I like the suggestion above - Start a good inventory on her jewelry . . . and HER FAVORITE items, and play like you want them't

    Sorry Charlie, this no workie.

    Jewelry is hers to keep, it was a gift. Coins are considered an Asset and is marital property unless she specifically gave them to you as gifts. >>



    I was going to say this, but figured that someone else would beat me to it.
    Me at the Springfield coin show:
    image
    60 years into this hobby and I'm still working on my Lincoln set!
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    notwilightnotwilight Posts: 12,864 ✭✭✭


    << <i>Make certain your lawyer is a hostile and evil person. Two lawyers are better than one. NEVER hire a woman-lawyer; they are hopelessly biased and will destroy your case. The first step is to get your head around the concept that your coins might soon be history. Hopefully, they can help you make the best deal possible on other parts of the marital estate. If you are in the coin business, the sale of coins in the ordinary course of that business is not fraudulent, post-filing, provided full disclosure/accounting is given to the court. MOST wives don't want the coins. They DO want to convince the court that the coins are "worth millions and my husband should have them all, AND I should get EVERYTHING else." The courts have a sexist view of collectibles. Barbie-Dolls tend to be awarded to wives; husbands get the coins, EVEN if they don't want them and feel they have been over-valued. Thus, it is critical that the coins be valued "correctly." Wives tend to produce "insurance appraisals" as evidence of value. Smart husbands produce written BUY offers from famous or reputable coin vendors; such vendors are usually deposed so make sure they know their stuff. Often, husbands can turn the tables on the insurance appraisal frauds that wives tend to push. If your coins are over-valued for insurance purposes, HER jewelry will be, too. Your lawyer can likely force the court to accept the inflated jewelry numbers, if you get stuck with grossly-inflated coin numbers. Settlements are about offsets. The things you want moved to your side of the charts are valuable. The things you want sent to her chart-squares are less valuable. In a down real-estate market, wives will claim the houses are not worth much. It is generally in the husband's interest if the marital home can be shown to be SUPER VALUABLE. This allows the court to "favor" the wife and let her park her backside in the house, while giving the husband maximum possible credits on other assets. Cash, Real Property and Retirement/Investment Accounts are usually the best spoils. Try for those, and remember you are in a WAR. Get your head out of the past; forget about pity; forget being generous. She wants you dead, and the only reason divorce is in play is because murder is illegal and hard to get away with. She is your mortal enemy. If you cannot embrace these notions, you might as well throw-in the towel and let her toss your broke self into the gutter, BEFORE you waste money on your legal fees. Good Luck! >>



    This is excellent advice. I tried the cooperative, conciliatory "do what's best for the kids" route for 2 years. She just kept playing more and more dirty until I finally hired the guy in the first sentence above. And hiring him two years earlier WOULD have been best for the kids. I had a woman attorney because she specialized in taking care of the kids and had a great reputation....it took me a year of watching her write letters to figure out that what she thought was best for the kids was to give them to the mother and send a check every month. Basicly, she was on my wife's side. In the end my wife hired a friend of hers and they started writing each other letters back and forth complimenting each other's dresses. If she had been honest she should have told me that she doesn't represent men, even when they hire her. No man should ever hire a female divorce attorney. --Jerry

    --Jerry
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    notwilightnotwilight Posts: 12,864 ✭✭✭


    << <i>OK, then take inventory of every thing else that she wants, and use that instead. I would think that some jewelry can be consider assets also. You can tell attorney -- she said that I could buy a coin for myself, if should could buy the earrings. >>



    If you can show that every time you bought a coin, she got jewelry you might get them to be considered offsetting gifts. But it would take a good attorney and good records. Don't start inventorying her stuff if you can avoid it since she will then start looking to inventory more of yours. Like I said, argue about the coins as long as possible to keep her occupied. She will go to court and try to show they are worth twice what they really are. Agree to that price, and give them to her. Truth is, when you sit down the real value shows up pretty quickly when you figure out whose column each asset goes in. If the coins are undervalued you'll want them in your column. If they're overvalued, you'll want them in hers. I went in to the settlement knowing exactly what I wanted to pay for each item. If it was valued more then I told her she could have it (meaning she had to put that value in her column). On most items she was willing to lower the value to what I wanted to pay. --Jerry
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    KonaheadKonahead Posts: 1,476 ✭✭✭
    cement shoes and a romantic boat trip!
    PEACE! This is the first day of the rest of your life.

    Fred, Las Vegas, NV
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    Great thread? Too bad it is at my expense. image

    Hopefully then the two of us together will be able to put together a good battle plan. I've heard from more than one this guy is great with money. Here's to hoping he is great with my money.
    image
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    KonaheadKonahead Posts: 1,476 ✭✭✭


    << <i>Okay. I'll probably get shouted down for this, but... She sounds seriously p*ssed off. And defusing that is imperative. Most women want to be "heard." Offer to go to counseling with her. Actually go. Try to listen to her grievances. If nothing else, it buys you some time. If you end up in court, and you listened to what she said to the counselor, you'll be forewarned about where she'll be going. ie: for your head, or lower. Best case scenario, maybe you can even turn this thing around. Best of luck. >>




    image
    PEACE! This is the first day of the rest of your life.

    Fred, Las Vegas, NV
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    storm888storm888 Posts: 11,701 ✭✭✭
    "...No man should ever hire a female divorce attorney...."

    ////////////////////////////////////////

    Yup.

    MY BEST lawyers are ALL women. Real Property, General Business, even a Criminal Lawyer.

    BUT, in family law, men run the risk that the psychological crosses that these chicks bear
    are simply to heavy for them to cast off - even for BIG money - and fight for their male client
    against another woman.

    MANY men think they will influence the family court by retaining a woman. It seldom works
    out. The few times it does simply proves the rule. They are better suited representing their
    own kind, and, in that capacity, are some of the most formidable broom-riders on the planet.

    Folks Who Bite Get Bitten. Folks Who Don't Bite Get Eaten.
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    << <i>.... maybe you can even turn this thing around. Best of luck. >>




    Up until the very end, well, the beginning of the end, hoping to turn it around was my sole priority. The last thing I wanted was to go down this road. The jacked up thing about selling the coins, if that is the route taken, is that I worked hard, or at least took a very long time to find some of those pieces. The jacked up thing about keeping them, buying them off, is that I'd be buying them all over again albeit 50%. I hope to put on the table so to speak more stuff of hers that has value to offset mine. I'm starting to wonder if she is so possessed about the coins that she is not seeing her own assets, like her brand new car. Shoot, mine is 8 years old and worth only half as much. I don't know if she is taking things like that in consideration.

    image

    image
    image
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    Best strategy is to "relent" and "surrender" the coins to her after her attorney has pumped up the value beyond all reason - you know discounted the appreciation during the time after the sun super novaes - and grab the financial assets. When she goes to sell and discovers things like auction commissions, etc. her own greed will have dealt her a well deserved lesson.

    In other words, just give her the rope she needs to hang herself.
    Successful BST purchases from: WaterSport, commoncents123, Hyperion, mozeppa, Mar327, coinlieutenant, Placid, MFH, fishteeth, FilthyBroke, SilverEagles92, illini420, barberman55, pcgs69 (2x) & 123cents

    History of the US Constitution Coin Set
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    Batman23Batman23 Posts: 5,381 ✭✭✭✭✭


    << <i>Get a bid from a couple of dealers, split the diffference in the bids and pay her half. >>



    I have not had to deal with this problem yet. But the possibility is closer than I would like to admit. The statement that bidask made seems to be a realistic option. No appraisal value, no retail value, just good old greysheet bid value. Maybe I'm wrong but it would be a better value to have on your side.
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    Quite a few replies here and not enough time to sit and read them all. Go on eBay, buy a whole bunch of low grade duplicates to the ones you have, grab a metal/plastic seal able box and a shovel, and when shes not home one day jam the good stuff in the box and bury it in the woods a bit. Maybe keep a few of the high grade ones that she remembers so they aren't completely different.
    I do web development and freelance programming, please PM me if you need a website or web application.

    Want To Buy:
    Connecticut Nationals (Large and Small size)
    Connecticut Obsoletes
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    500Bay500Bay Posts: 1,113 ✭✭✭
    This is my favorite response so far:



    << <i>Maybe you could just slab the wife and keep the coins? >>

    Finem Respice
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    storm888storm888 Posts: 11,701 ✭✭✭
    "Best strategy is to "relent" and "surrender" the coins to her after her attorney has pumped up the value beyond all reason - you know discounted the appreciation during the time after the sun super novaes - and grab the financial assets. When she goes to sell and discovers things like auction commissions, etc. her own greed will have dealt her a well deserved lesson. "

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Poorly represented men OFTEN end up unable to convince the court
    that the wife should have the "expensive" coins. After her shyster
    has gotten the coin-values to the moon on paper, he will generally
    try to dump them on the husband; it's the smart play.

    One tactic that sometimes works, is to surrender the collectibles to the
    court and ask the judge to dispose of them. The first party to complain,
    in this case the wife, will often end up with them at/near the inflated prices.
    (Your lawyer simply files a Motion declaring an inability to mutually
    agree on value, and requesting that the court have their pals dump 'em.
    Wife panics when she becomes convinced the coins will go at "liquidation"
    numbers, and grants a larger offset than she was previously disposed
    to allow.)

    In most jurisdictions, a TINY percentage of actions ever get to trial. Thus,
    most paid efforts should be devoted to crafting advanatageous settlement
    offers. "Trial Prep" is usually a TOTAL waste of money; even the day
    before trial, most cases remain SUPER unlikely to be heard by the court.

    The judges routinely rough-up both lawyers and make it clear that they
    "better settle fast," unless they want to "be sad." There is never any
    justice, ONLY a negotiated escape from evil and torment.

    Folks who hope for their day in court to "prove their case," are almost
    always disappointed. Salvaging as much money as possible is really
    the only way to count victory.

    .......................

    In the meantime, be prepared to read the most horrible and outrageous
    lies, defamations, and fabrications that you can imagine in her filings. And,
    be ready to respond in manifold kind.


    image
    Folks Who Bite Get Bitten. Folks Who Don't Bite Get Eaten.
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    YaHaYaHa Posts: 4,220
    Hire Larry Flint and he doesn't win for ya kick over his f-ing wheelchair and stop buying his magazines.image
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    FrankcoinsFrankcoins Posts: 4,572 ✭✭✭
    Is it still possible, hypothetically speaking, to buy cyanide?
    Frank Provasek - PCGS Authorized Dealer, Life Member ANA, Member TNA. www.frankcoins.com
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    BAJJERFANBAJJERFAN Posts: 31,645 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Would a winning lottery ticket be considered marital property if she couldn't prove that you had it?
    theknowitalltroll;
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    DoubleEagle59DoubleEagle59 Posts: 8,432 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Take all your non-valuable AU to ms62 coins and Dip the heck out of them, then grade and price them as ms66.

    Show this list to her lawyer.

    Split that 50-50, then you're in the clear to buy more!
    "Gold is money, and nothing else" (JP Morgan, 1912)

    "“Those who sacrifice liberty for security/safety deserve neither.“(Benjamin Franklin)

    "I only golf on days that end in 'Y'" (DE59)
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    morgansforevermorgansforever Posts: 8,510 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The best defense is to tell her nothing. Divorced now for 3 years, never said shat about the bullion.

    She was under the impression it was all Mint set stuff.

    Best investment I've ever made, was to get unhitched.

    Scott
    World coins FSHO Hundreds of successful BST transactions U.S. coins FSHO
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    << <i>

    << <i>

    << <i>...... and remember you are in a WAR. Get your head out of the past; forget about pity; forget being generous. She wants you dead, and the only reason divorce is in play is because murder is illegal and hard to get away with. She is your mortal enemy. If you cannot embrace these notions, you might as well throw-in the towel and let her toss your broke self into the gutter, BEFORE you waste money on your legal fees. Good Luck! >>

    Damn, dude. You summed it up shockingly accurately. >>



    Yes, that's a good summary. If this hypothetical ever goes real, get the most no-nonsense, ruthless lawyer you can find because all the rest will just write letters back and forth blowing sunshine up each others drawers and charging you $400/hr for it. They want it to drag on. I finally hired the "100mph fastball closer" (aka grim reaper) in august (2 yrs ago) and was divorced in oct. If I'd hired him two years earlier, I'd now be divorced for 4 years instead of 2. don't waste your time. Move directly to the endgame. --jerry >>



    I completely agree. I say invest in a good lawyer particularly if there is a lot at stake. It will save you more in the long run.
    Trustworthy BST sellers: cucamongacoin
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    njcoincranknjcoincrank Posts: 1,066 ✭✭
    I was recently divorced last November. For what it is worth he is my take:

    1) Most anything materialistic can be replaced. After not seeing any of my collections for over a year, I came to realize that I could live without them.

    2) Emotions have no place in a court room. Forget about justice and equal property division. Figure that both you and your ex will come away feeling as if you lost.

    3) Whether planned or not, most lawyers will try and fight the case to the end, telling the parties what they want to hear, and that they can win. You can kiss your cash goodbye. When the easy accessible money is gone then, and only then, will the lawyers entertain settling.

    4) Let your ex make a proposal to the court. And if it is anywhere (70/30) reasonable, take it. You can and will make more money in your life time.

    5) On the occasional day when you are feeling good about your life and it's direction, be prepared for absolute bulls**t to follow. It is just the way life goes.

    6) Settle as soon as possible. Forget about justice. Focus on your mental and physical health. Two or more years of he!! can and will take its toll.

    The above pertains only to money and assets.

    I know that now this may not sound like good advise. At least it didn't to me. But after a while you begin to see how it works. And afterwards you will see so much more clearly what I am saying.

    Good luck

    njcc
    www.numismaticamericana.com
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    I would pawn them at my friends pawn shop. Take the 10% of value he offers me and split that money 50/50 with my soon to be ex-wife. This takes them off the divorce table as they have technically been sold. You then have the right to buy back the coins plus interest after the divorce is final. As long as you pay the interest every month, the pawn shop can't resell them to anyone but you. It will cost you to do this, but its a lot cheaper than an even split of her experts inflated value. Also, I doubt she will ask for the right to pawn ticket in the settlement.
    image
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    keetskeets Posts: 25,351 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Dear Abby, Dear Abbey, well I never thought
    That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught!!!
    We were sittin' in the backseat just shootin' the breeze
    With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees!!!
    -----Signed, Just Married...........................

    say goodie-bye-bye to the collection.
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    ttownttown Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    In my divorce all I had were some modern coins worth maybe $1000image I sold the rest.........
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    Let her and her lawyer go ahead and place a high(PCGS guideline) price on them then let her have them.
    Old saying....
    Be careful what you ask for.................you might just get it.
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    ttownttown Posts: 4,472 ✭✭✭
    Actually all you need to do is get a couple of good appraisals from dealers on what they would purchase them for. The PCGS price guide is fine but there's the Red Book and other sources that put all retail listed prices in question. I've gone though this and know, I for one would collect and keep quite about what you have to your disinterested wife because most don't care until there's some $$$$ that might be attached.


    PS

    And actually you can sell them and spend the money just like a spouce robs the bank accounts and the money is never seen again. Until your served you can do anything you want before the lock down. Even then I went to the police station and found where my ex pawned my stuff and had records. It never came out in court though it was all worked out my the lawyers behind closed doors.
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    lavalava Posts: 3,287 ✭✭✭
    Before the divorce is final let me go out on a few dates with her. She'll be begging to come back to you. Problem solved.

    If she had a nut-cracker of an attorney, he/she just might say "you divide the coins into two piles, and we get first choice."
    I brake for ear bars.
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    TwoSides2aCoinTwoSides2aCoin Posts: 45,108 ✭✭✭✭✭
    She's a bigger geek than you, obviously.

    edit to add a wink image
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    I have no advice, but wanted to hypothetically say good luck.
    imageQuid pro quo. Yes or no?
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    sumrtymsumrtym Posts: 395 ✭✭✭
    I think many of you look at this as a "she wants to milk more money" thing. Which may be true...

    However, I've known many women who do things JUST to hurt the guy. The most important thing to her regarding the coin collection may just be to destroy a good part of it from being in his hands, period. In that case, your work around negotiating or scare her into relenting suggestions are for naught.

    BTW, did you earlier say you didn't believe there was any jewelry from AFTER the marriage??? If so, no wonder she's going after the coins....and you're getting divorced. image
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    TwoSides2aCoinTwoSides2aCoin Posts: 45,108 ✭✭✭✭✭
    She wants you on your knees like you were when you asked her to marry you.
    Assume the position, brother. Make up with her !

    Hypothetically, of course !
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    trozautrozau Posts: 3,455 ✭✭✭
    Suggestion: Just man up and give her half of the collection. image
    trozau (troy ounce gold)
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    coindudeonebaycoindudeonebay Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭


    << <i>I am getting married in 2 weeks, I took inventory of every pre-marital asset, coins, guns, etc. I am making her sign a disclosure she can not got after any of this as it was acquired before the marriage. Too late for you know. I love my wife to be, but she has no inventories of either, nor will she. >>


    There's nothing like starting out a relationship with a nice show of trust. Ahhhh, true love! image
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    BroadstruckBroadstruck Posts: 30,497 ✭✭✭✭✭
    100
    To Err Is Human.... To Collect Err's Is Just Too Much Darn Tootin Fun!

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