"Good Morning Class" -- Let Us Agree to Disagree, Shall We?

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 2:43AM

In Coinalot, King ArtR has granted an audience to Karl of Dork, the Kingdom Contrarian

Karl of Dork: (bowing) Your Majesty, your latest decree continues to ignore the single, most fundamental tenet of all hobbies: you have the right to collect exactly what it is you want to collect and nobody shall take away that right!
King ArtR: That a fact.
Karl of Dork: That's a fact!
(continuing) Amazing how we, the itsy bitsy worthless, sniveling citizens of Coinalot, already don't get to decide how to grade coins-- the Graders Who Charge Fees do it for us!--and now we don't get to choose what we want our coins to look like either!!
King ArtR: That a fact.
Karl of Dork: That's a fact!
(continuing) How long will it be before you have to be certifed by your Majesty before you may be permitted to even collect coins?
King ArtR: (rising) Karl of Dork... how many times have I had you ripped asunder, sliced, diced turned into Julian fries, and flung piece by piece into the frigid Bay of Eee?
Karl of Dork: It is not germane to the subject, Sire!
King ArtR: 'Tis!
Karl of Dork: 'Tisn't!
King ArtR: Would you say I have done this a plethora of times?
Karl of Dork: Your Majestry hates that word!
King ArtR: Do not!
Karl of Dork: Do too!!!
King ArtR: Karl of Dork, I cannot decide whether you amuse me or vex me. I think you vex me. I am very vexed!
Karl of Dork: You are not!
King ArtR: I am too!!
Karl of Dork: Because I refuse'th to blow smoke up the Royal Patoot??? You should thank me, Highness! Not one of your lackeys would say you were on fire if they thought it would annoy you!!!
King ArtR: BY THE GODS!!!!
Karl of Dork: There are no Gods!
King ArtR: BLASPEHEMER!!
Karl of Dork: Am not!
King ArtR: (purple with rage) THE ROYAL CATAPULT SHALL BE BUSY THIS EVE!!
Karl of Dork: Sez who??

A small, gnarled man steps forth out of the crowd. Bent nearly in two, he leans on a walking stick as he inches toward the King. In a feeble voice he speaks...

A question for his Majesty!

King ArtR: (taken aback) WHAT?
Seth of a Thousand Questions: If your Majesty were a tree... which tree would thee be?

There is a collective gasp!

Sir Steve27: (whispering) His Majesty hates trees!
Sir Coinosaraus: But why?
Sir Steve27: Once as a child, he was lost in a plethora of them!
Squire Airplanenut: Cool!
Lady Tassa: After the coin dealers came and burned his village?
Sir Steve27: Just so!

Karl of Dork: (to ArtR) Answer the question, Sire!!!!
King ArtR: It is not germane to the discussion OF HOW I SHALL HAVE YOU KILLED!!!!!
Karl of Dork: It is!
King ArtR: HOW SO??????
Karl of Dork: Because me thinks his Majesty would be a PECKERWOOD TREE!!!!!

Another collective gasp. The maiden Coindaughter faints.

It is later in the evening on the banks of the Bay of Eee. Sir ClarkofKent, The Royal Catapultist, is whistling to himself, polishing the Royal Catapult. Two men approach

Sir ClarkofKent: Evening!
First Traveler: Evening!
Sir ClarkofKent: Who goest there?
Friar Fatman: 'Tis I, Friar Fatman and Madmonk the Madmonk. We journey back to The Abbey of Buyitnow!

Sir ClarkofKent reaches into the Royal Dung Wagon, grabs an arm, puts it on the Catapult and VA-WOOM!!!!

Madmonk: What'cha doin'?

Sir ClarkofKent grabs a head from the wagon and places it on the Catapult

Sir ClarkofKent: (laughs) Oh, nothing much. Flinging pieces of Karl of Dork into the Bay of Eee....

Friar Fatman and Madmonk stare at the head.

The head of Karl of Dork: No he's not!

VA-WOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

griffin6 · June 23, 2003 2:52AM

Friends don't let friends do drugs...

MadMonk · June 23, 2003 2:52AM

Sir Clankeye...Thou art most magnificent with a quill.

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 2:56AM

Thanks, MM.

Android · June 23, 2003 2:59AM

mdwoods · June 23, 2003 3:05AM

I laughed from start to end. Especially at the end. Thanks Carl for a much needed laugh. mdwoods

Mrpawn · June 23, 2003 3:05AM

The week has begun well once again!

Thanks Mr Clankeye

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 3:08AM

Thanks, MD. Does that mean you wouldn't let me do drugs?

This is Good Morning Class.... this is Good Morning Class on drugs:
Classmorg--ing Gorp!

Clankeye

griffin6 · June 23, 2003 3:11AM

But can you get Sean Connery to play the King?

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 3:13AM

<< But can you get Sean Connery to play the King? >>

Now why would I do that when we have our very own ArtR?

Clankeye

ccrdragon · June 23, 2003 3:14AM

Most wonderfully done, Sir Clank!!!

Monday is indeed complete once again!

Shamika · June 23, 2003 3:14AM

I'm afraid to respond.

coinguy1 · June 23, 2003 3:19AM

Clankeye,"you're on fire", as a great writer and entertainer, that is!

Alas, I think I still hear Karl of Dork, (wherever he is, er, I mean wherever his pieces are) arguing.

I guess, it's not always a good thing to be given a leading role in your tales. It can make one a "head case".

Will he be back? And, if so, will he still be so argumentative?

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 3:21AM

<< I'm afraid to respond. >>

I'm sorry. I'll be nice.

nwcs · June 23, 2003 3:22AM

Seems like I missed a good argument this weekend. Oh well... It's always fun to see the catapult get busy!

Next we need the good king to take a grading class. That's sure to amuse!

MadMonk · June 23, 2003 3:24AM

I found this fella and the last remnants of Karl of Dork!!!!!

zenny · June 23, 2003 3:25AM

Clank

Hadn't noticed Karl of Dork being turned into "Julian fries" before, but i very much appreciate the irony.

thanks as always

z

IrishMike · June 23, 2003 3:25AM

Clank, even with your inimitable writing style, the fact remains, the truth is still stranger than fiction.

1jester · June 23, 2003 3:26AM

"peckerwood tree"

Carl of Dork will probably keep coming back as a "shill" !!!!!!!!

Clank, that's too funny, drugs or no!

dorkkarl · June 23, 2003 3:41AM

BWUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

clankeye my friend, 'tis a moment i shall need whilst i wipeth the spittle from my desk!

man, what d'ya suppose other folks in the office must think after seeing me roll around on the floor in my mirth this afternoon!

GREAT ONE!!!

K S

coinguy1 · June 23, 2003 3:42AM

Karl, you're a great sport, all 157 pieces of you.

nwcs · June 23, 2003 3:44AM

I think the crocodile hunter snagged a few for his next live show.

PhillyJoe · June 23, 2003 3:47AM

Clank, nice job as usual. I'll bet you have an appreciation for cartoonists who have to come up with fresh ideas every day. (Somehow, I think their compensation helps their motivation.) I'm sure your wit will catapult you to even greater stories!

Joe

DCAMFranklin · June 23, 2003 3:47AM

<< Karl of Dork: Because me thinks his Majesty would be a PECKERWOOD TREE!!!!! >>

A fabuous line! Clank, you have outdone yourself with this great piece. I'm truly appreciative of your great contributions!

MadMarty · June 23, 2003 3:53AM

Ahhhhh, I do love Mondays do! Another fine work of art Clank! Ano no Bears or MadMartys were shot! It's going to be a great week!

cladking · June 23, 2003 3:54AM

Perhaps the best yet! TGIM.

The humor is unrelenting. It should help with the smiling.

RegistryCoin · June 23, 2003 4:01AM

Just terrific, Carl. Thank you, again!

Tassa · June 23, 2003 4:14AM

That was hilarious! I especially liked the ending as well. It's good that the Karl of Dork can appreciate the humor of this one too. I'm glad to see he's still with us after being sliced, diced, julienned, and catapulted into the Bay of Eee numerous times.

Edited for spelling.

CarlWohlforth · June 23, 2003 4:26AM

Good one

I think we all agree humor is good. Nobody could disagree with that. Thanks Clank.

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 4:29AM

Say what you will about Karl of Dork, but he's a stand up guy (when sewn together) and much appreciated by the Royal Scribe for his outspoken ways and the sincerity of his convictions. Long may he be torn asunder!

Clankeye

Shamika · June 23, 2003 4:45AM

All I can say is "You better not mess with the King!".

beartracks42 · June 23, 2003 5:24AM

Classic Clankeye story. Much appreciated on these Mondays!!!

cosmicdebris · June 23, 2003 5:25AM

Carl

dpoole · June 23, 2003 5:29AM

Thanks, Clank. You score again.

Baley · June 23, 2003 5:56AM

lmao! very funny

remumc · June 23, 2003 7:07AM

Thanks Clank!

Regards,

Wayne

airplanenut · June 23, 2003 7:18AM

Simply marvelous!

Bear · June 23, 2003 7:43AM

Carl, reading your stories is always like meeting an old friend.

DELIGHTFUL!!!!

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 7:49AM

Bear, it's never a party until you get here.

Clankeye

09sVDB · June 23, 2003 8:27AM

Carl: A riot as uaual. I just want to know whennthis is going to be made into a movie!

MrKelso · June 23, 2003 9:29AM

It's a beautiful thing

wingedliberty · June 23, 2003 10:29AM

Mondays are fun again!

Brian.

bigindie · June 23, 2003 10:30AM

Another masterpiece, Clank. Every Monday I make it through another day at the office knowing I'lll be able to read another chapter when I get home.

marcmoish · June 23, 2003 11:42AM

Carl,

Thanks so much I shoulda tuned in during the day but last weeks issue did strange things to me - I figured I needed to stay clean today

You are totally

Because I refuse'th to blow smoke up the Royal Patoot??? this is too funny!

Thanks for making the grade again!

Marc

Coinosaurus · June 23, 2003 12:55PM

Alas poor Karl of Dork, I knew him well

Askari · June 23, 2003 1:21PM

<< Karl, you're a great sport, all 157 pieces of you. >>

LOL!!! Too true, Mark, too true!!

'Tis yet another fine mess ye've gotten Coin-a-lot into, O Bard -- an' we're all rightly the better for it!!

DMWJR · June 23, 2003 1:29PM

I always have to read these in my Monty Python voices . . .

Clankeye · June 23, 2003 1:39PM

<< I always have to read these in my Monty Python voices . . . >>

That's the spirit, Doug!

Thanks for all the nice words, guys! It's reassuring to know some of the people hanging out here are as crazed as I am.

Clankeye

dorkkarl · June 23, 2003 9:42PM

man, clankeye, i had to go & read it all again. still rolling on the floor!

i'd say that it's gut-busting funny, but too late for that.

K S

marcmoish · June 23, 2003 11:03PM

MadMarty · June 23, 2003 11:09PM

Remember,
Nobody expects the Clankeye Inquisition!!!!!

"Good Morning Class" -- Let Us Agree to Disagree, Shall We?

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&quot;Good Morning Class&quot; -- Let Us Agree to Disagree, Shall We?

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"Good Morning Class" -- Let Us Agree to Disagree, Shall We?