My sister had one that got in the dryer. When she opened the door after the clothes were dry a tail came out - unattached. I asked her if she renamed the cat Snuggles or Downy. She made her husband take the clothes out and rewash them.
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes.
No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window.
He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
"Yes?"
"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"
The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15."
The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"
"8:25!"
The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him.
To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"
Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.
"Sir? It's 8:45."
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde.
They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then "POOF" you'll disappear."
So the red head goes in first and stares deeply into the mirror and proclaims, "I think that i am the most beautiful woman in the world!", "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.
Then the brunette goes in. "I think that i am the smartest woman in the world," "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.
Now it's the blonde's turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror. She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, "I think... "POOF " she disappears.
Little Johnny was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and then turn to the crowd, put his hands up like claws and roar. That’s the way it went all down the aisle: step, step, ROAR…step, step, ROAR…step, step, ROAR. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing by the time he reached the pulpit. When the priest who was celebrating the wedding asked what he was doing, Little Johnny sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”
This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.
The old lady wanted to know why.
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, handed her card back to the teller, and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, “You have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?”
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3,000.
“Well please let me have $3,000 now.”
The teller kindly handed over $3,000, very friendly and with a smile to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2,990 back into her account.
The moral of this story is....
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning skills like this.
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I have a few in the house that likes to do that
Lets keep this joke running!!
Thank you, Heavenly Father, for first loving us.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
My sister had one that got in the dryer. When she opened the door after the clothes were dry a tail came out - unattached. I asked her if she renamed the cat Snuggles or Downy. She made her husband take the clothes out and rewash them.
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes.
No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window.
He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
"Yes?"
"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"
The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15."
The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"
"8:25!"
The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him.
To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"
Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.
"Sir? It's 8:45."
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another patient asked, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "Because God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"
Cheers, RickO
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?"
asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?"
asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Cheers, RickO
There are three girls at a bar, a red head, a brunette, and a blonde.
They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out, if you lie then "POOF" you'll disappear."
So the red head goes in first and stares deeply into the mirror and proclaims, "I think that i am the most beautiful woman in the world!", "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.
Then the brunette goes in. "I think that i am the smartest woman in the world," "POOF" a hundred dollars pops out.
Now it's the blonde's turn. She slowly walks into the bathroom with her hands over her eyes and peeks between her fingers at the mirror. She waits... nothing happens... she is glad. She stands bravely and states, "I think... "POOF " she disappears.
Cheers, RickO
Little Johnny was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and then turn to the crowd, put his hands up like claws and roar. That’s the way it went all down the aisle: step, step, ROAR…step, step, ROAR…step, step, ROAR. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing by the time he reached the pulpit. When the priest who was celebrating the wedding asked what he was doing, Little Johnny sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”
Cheers, RickO
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.
The old lady wanted to know why.
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, handed her card back to the teller, and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, “You have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?”
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3,000.
“Well please let me have $3,000 now.”
The teller kindly handed over $3,000, very friendly and with a smile to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2,990 back into her account.
The moral of this story is....
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning skills like this.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Duplicate
“I may not believe in myself but I believe in what I’m doing” ~Jimmy Page~
My Full Walker Registry Set (1916-1947)
https://www.ngccoin.com/registry/competitive-sets/16292/
Rampant currency debasement will be the most important investment trend of this decade, and it will devastate most people.
- Nick Giambruno Buy dollar insurance now, because the policy will cost more as the dollar becomes worth less.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members