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Jokes where Money (coins too) are the theme
braddick
Posts: 24,800 ✭✭✭✭✭
Do you know any?
Here's one I read last week:
"A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72. The following week, he walked in with another 2000 yen, and was handed $62. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
peacockcoins
7
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A guy walks into a bar and sees many “C” notes taped to the mirror behind the bar. He asks the bartender about them and is told they are the entry fee and prizes for anyone able to successfully complete three tasks. The first is to KO the bouncer, a massive man sitting at the other end of the bar. The next is to make love to the ugly old woman who lives upstairs and the third is to remove an infected tooth from the pit bull guard dog chained up in the back yard. The man takes a quick look at the bouncer and decides he can not take on the Neanderthal sitting at the bar.
A few nights later he returns drunk from an evening out on the town. He slams his $100 bill down on the bar and walks up to the bouncer knocking him out with a mighty punch to he jaw. He then stomps outside and the patrons soon hear the dog howling wildly. He stumbles back into the bar and says, “Now where is the old woman with the infected tooth?”
A: The year they spend more on their library than their coin collection.
A numismatist is judged more on the content of their library than the content of their cabinet.
Not so much a joke but a skit by the greatest comedy team of all time ....
How many graders, collectors, dealers etc can accurately grade this coin:
Aman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys of his new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Chinese man replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Keets was sitting on a park bench reading an advance copy of the new VAM book. Along came Braddick, saw the book, and exclaimed, "Where on Earth did you get that book?!!! It's not due to be released for another six months!"
Keets replied, "Well, I was sitting here minding my own business when along came a beautiful woman. She threw the book down, took off all her clothes and threw them in a heap on the ground, and said take what you want!"
"Good choice," replied Braddick, "the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Taking a seat in the classroom, Maxine (a freshman in college), braced herself for her last final examination of the year, which consisted only of Yes and No answers.
It was one class that Maxine had not adequately studied for, and now that she was staring at the questionnaire sheet she was beginning to feel quite overwhelmed with defeat. Then, in an instant moment of inspiration, she took a quarter out of her purse and began marking the answer sheet "Yes" for coin tosses resulting in heads and "No" for tails.
Within 30 minutes she was completely through the test, and sat back to relax while the rest of the class kept sweating out their answers. However, during the last few minutes of the exam period, Maxine began to frantically flip the coin again.
The instructor, concerned about Maxine's irregular behavior, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.
"Oh yes, I'm fine." Maxine said. "I finished the exam a half hour ago, but I'm going back through it to check my answers!"
Cheers, RickO (and yes, I laugh at my own jokes)
Why is the moon like a dollar.......................they both have four quarters HA HA HA
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
What to Do with the Gold Coins
A Muslim sheikh, a Christian priest and a Jewish rabbi find a room filled with gold coins. They sit down to discuss what they'd do with it.
The sheikh: I think we throw it up in the air and have the poor take what they can of it. That way it's like giving it to God.
The priest: I think I should throw it up in the air. Whatever goes to the left of this line goes to church and whatever goes to the right goes to charity. That way God is happy.
The rabbi: I will just throw it all up in the air. Whatever comes down I will take. And whatever stays up God can have it and he can do what he likes with it
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
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``https://ebay.us/m/KxolR5
Well, well, well.........................................three holes in the ground
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb, Ricko
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
Would it be too much to ask for these jokes to be good for a change?
......10,000 comedians out of work,
......and you guys are telling' jokes.
"If I gave you a Dollar, and your Father gave you a Dollar, how many Dollars would you have?"
"One Dollar"
"You don't know your arithmetic"
"You don't know my Father".............
(The Three Stooges)
Pete
Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
Back in the day... a North Dakotan (with apologies) accidentally dropped a dollar down the hole in the outhouse. His buddy (it was a two-holer) watched in amazement as his clumsy pal proceed to pull a $20 from his wallet and drop it down the hole. "What in the heck did you do that for?!", asked the buddy. "You think I'd climb down there for just a dollar???"
Smitten with DBLCs.
Here's one courtesy of my five-year old:
Q: When the nickel jumped off the cliff, why didn't the dime follow?
A: It had more cents.
Funny !!!