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A coin grader dies and meets the Devil—As told to CalGold by the Devil himself
CalGold
Posts: 2,608 ✭✭
Met the Devil at a local show and he recounted the following story.
A coin grader is busy at work when suddenly he clutches his chest, collapses and dies at his grading station. Everything goes black and then he clears his eyes and finds himself surrounded by fire and brimstone and in the presence of the Devil himself.
Grader says: Whoa! There must be some mistake. I shouldn’t be down here!
Devil says: No mistake. We’ve got your file right here.
Grader says: My file? What could possibly be in my file that warrants sending me here?
Devil starts flipping through the file and says: Frankly, we’ve had our eye on you for quite a while. Lets see, here. How about this. Laughing out loud while putting some poor coin junkie’s gorgeous MS67 gem into a 64 holder.
Grader says: Well, someone had to take a stand against gradeflation, with all of that complaining going on in the chat rooms. I was just giving those guys what they were asking for.
Devil says: How about taking the Brand X coins that you knew were undergraded and dumping them into the DNC pile?
Grader says: Just protecting my company’s brand. If we crossed all of those coins collectors would start thinking that both services graded the same. The premium for coins in our holders evaporate, the cross-over business would dry up, our customers coins would be worth a lot less, customers would start sending their submissions across the street, our revenues would drop like a stone, our shareholders would dump our stock, our employee stock options would become worthless, and our salaries would be cut.
Devil says: Yeah, well, we saw how you graded the crack-outs that you recognized from prior submissions; grading them a point lower or without the old DMPL or full strike designation.
Grader says: I was just giving those submitters a lesson in not being greedy. They were all a bunch of wiseguys trying for upgrades to make a quick buck off our grading. Besides, if they really wanted the upgrade all they had to do was keep resubmitting until we caved and gave it to them.
Devil flips through the file some more and muses: Picking your nose while handling coins. Eating greasy French fries while handling coins. Grading with one eye closed. Wearing your shades while grading. The list goes on and on.
Grader stammers: But, but, but ...
Devil says: OK no more whining. We don’t have a regrade or reconsideration service down here. Here’s what you’ll be doing for us.
Devil claps his hands and there appears a scantily clad, gorgeous woman holding a tray of the finest known classic rarities.
Grader says: Wow! Will I be grading coins down here?
Devil says: You sure will. You didn’t think we’d let your grading skills go to waste did you. Follow me.
Devil leads Grader down the hall and into a vast dark room with a desk, a chair and a light with an honest to goodness incandescent bulb.
Devil says: Here’s your grading station. You’ll be working here for all eternity.
Grader says: Looks good to me. Where are the submissions?
Devil claps his hands and an endless line of angry coin chat room members appears, each holding a box of coins and a resubmission form, and each telling anyone who will listen how well they can grade and how undergraded their coins are.
Devil says: Down here we let the coin owners submit in person while you grade.
The end.
CG
A coin grader is busy at work when suddenly he clutches his chest, collapses and dies at his grading station. Everything goes black and then he clears his eyes and finds himself surrounded by fire and brimstone and in the presence of the Devil himself.
Grader says: Whoa! There must be some mistake. I shouldn’t be down here!
Devil says: No mistake. We’ve got your file right here.
Grader says: My file? What could possibly be in my file that warrants sending me here?
Devil starts flipping through the file and says: Frankly, we’ve had our eye on you for quite a while. Lets see, here. How about this. Laughing out loud while putting some poor coin junkie’s gorgeous MS67 gem into a 64 holder.
Grader says: Well, someone had to take a stand against gradeflation, with all of that complaining going on in the chat rooms. I was just giving those guys what they were asking for.
Devil says: How about taking the Brand X coins that you knew were undergraded and dumping them into the DNC pile?
Grader says: Just protecting my company’s brand. If we crossed all of those coins collectors would start thinking that both services graded the same. The premium for coins in our holders evaporate, the cross-over business would dry up, our customers coins would be worth a lot less, customers would start sending their submissions across the street, our revenues would drop like a stone, our shareholders would dump our stock, our employee stock options would become worthless, and our salaries would be cut.
Devil says: Yeah, well, we saw how you graded the crack-outs that you recognized from prior submissions; grading them a point lower or without the old DMPL or full strike designation.
Grader says: I was just giving those submitters a lesson in not being greedy. They were all a bunch of wiseguys trying for upgrades to make a quick buck off our grading. Besides, if they really wanted the upgrade all they had to do was keep resubmitting until we caved and gave it to them.
Devil flips through the file some more and muses: Picking your nose while handling coins. Eating greasy French fries while handling coins. Grading with one eye closed. Wearing your shades while grading. The list goes on and on.
Grader stammers: But, but, but ...
Devil says: OK no more whining. We don’t have a regrade or reconsideration service down here. Here’s what you’ll be doing for us.
Devil claps his hands and there appears a scantily clad, gorgeous woman holding a tray of the finest known classic rarities.
Grader says: Wow! Will I be grading coins down here?
Devil says: You sure will. You didn’t think we’d let your grading skills go to waste did you. Follow me.
Devil leads Grader down the hall and into a vast dark room with a desk, a chair and a light with an honest to goodness incandescent bulb.
Devil says: Here’s your grading station. You’ll be working here for all eternity.
Grader says: Looks good to me. Where are the submissions?
Devil claps his hands and an endless line of angry coin chat room members appears, each holding a box of coins and a resubmission form, and each telling anyone who will listen how well they can grade and how undergraded their coins are.
Devil says: Down here we let the coin owners submit in person while you grade.
The end.
CG
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Comments
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
Coin graders have an unforgvible job to do and that is why they make BIG money........at least here on Earth.
OINK
(hey Mike, Steve and Adam order #675439 wash my back bro!)
<< <i>Or the guy thinks he has gone to heaven because everything is suddenly going his way.
That was a GREAT episode!
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