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A Thanksgiving Tale...THE ROYAL GOLD PANTALOON..... ...PART 5 FINAL CHAPTER......................
Bear
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Once upon a time, in a place far, far away was a Kingdom
called Coinalot. The ruler of this land was non other the
Good King ArtR. The great problem with the Kingdom was
that each year, the Royal Treasury spent far more money
then the Kingdom had to spend. A point was reached when
the money owed, was more then all the Kings' horses and
all the Kings' Men and all the cows, chickens, goats and
all the peasants' hovels and farms in the entire Kingdom put
together. It was a dire situation and something had to be,
done and quickly at that. Which now leads me into the
interesting :
TALE OF THE ROYAL GOLDEN PANTALOON
In the Royal Court of Good King ArtR, the King is vexed, troubled
and concerned.
King ArtR: I say there, Lord Keeper of the Royal Money, what say you of
the state of the Kingdom, finances?
Lord Keeper: Most appalling Sire. Our money is worthless, the peasants
have lost confidence, we owe more money then we can
ever repay and the Knights have not been paid for 6 months.
King ArtR: Zounds that sounds bad. Call an emergency meeting of the Royal
Council to meet in the Great Hall within the hour, make great haste
Keeper for the very Kingdom may well be in terrible danger.
Next we see the Royal Council assemble in the Great Hall, All of the great minds,
wits, halfwits, dimwits, numbnuts, savants, royalty, knights and Royal Advisers
as well as the Royal Dragon .
King ArtR: We have a serious problem with the Kingdoms' Royal expenses. We spend
more then we have and we owe more then we can ever repay. The peasants
are near revolting.
Sir Chilblain: They soitenly are your highness!
Sir Dragon : Nothing wrong with the the pheasants Sire.
King ArtR : No, no you numbskulls! not pheasants, I said peasants.
I swear, if this Council had half a brain, it would be lonely.
THE TALE WILL CONTINUE AFTER THE AUTHOR HAS A BIT OF DINNER
NO TELLING WHERE THIS TALE WILL LEAD
.................PART 2...............................................................................
Sir Laffer: Sire, I have a curve here that shows as taxes go to zero,
income goes up.
King ArtR : Can this indeed be true?
Sir Laffer : Of course not sire, but it looks good on paper.
King ArtR : Ah, I understand. Your intent is to diddle and confabulate your King.
Oh guards, Take hither Mr Jokester yon to the old catapault. Perhaps
an E ride on the old wooden monster will quench Mr. Funster in the
frigid Bay of E. Oh and you might put Mr Ninny on the old rack for a few
dozen good turns. I would say perhaps 6 inches taller might look very
nice on him indeed.
With that being said, the guards drag a screaming Sir laffer to the Castle Tower, to be
stretched, starched, pressed and washed in the Bay of E.
Sir Airplanenut: Ooh, Oooh, me sire. Call on me!
King Art R : Alright young sir knight, what have you to sayeth?
Sir Airplanenut: We could hold a drive to collect bottles, cans paper, plastic and things
and sell them to the used floatsum and jestsum man.
King ArtR: A good try Sir Airplanenut, but I fear too little and far too late.
Sir RYK: Sire, raise taxes.
King ArtR: We already tax at 100% Sir RYK, It would be unseemly, to tax the peasants
for next years taxes in advance.
Friar tuck : Sire, take their first born.
King ArtR : Good Friar, methinks that you hath quaffed from the sacramental wine, far too much.
Sir Midlife: Sire, create a Council of Economic Advisers to come up with a solution to the problem.
Royal Dragon: I second the motion!
Sir Coinman: I move the motion!
King ArtR: Gentleman, need I remind you that this is not a constitutional Monarchy. I am not Elizabeth II,
I am the KING! Sole ruler and determinator of all there is, was and will be. IS THAT CLEAR!
All assembled: Yes Sire.
King ArtR: This is what I decree shall be done. A Royal Council of Economic Advisers shall be assembled. This
Council, under pain of death, shall come up with intelligent proposals to be set forth before this Royal
Court within 24 hours. I select Sir Bili Rubin, Sir Volcker, Sirs Manny , Moe and Jack,as well as Sir Ricko
Sir RYK, Royal Dragon Coinosaurus Rex and Sir Midlife, to constitute said Council.
With that decree, the Royal Court is adjourned to reassemble within 24 hours...........more or less to solve the vexing
problem of too much desire, not enough where with all. If only we had duly elected Congress and a President to rule.
They would surely know what to do. In fact, they would never have let such a problem develop, of this I am sure.
STAY TUNED......SAME TIME.......SAME STATION FOR PART 3 on the morrow. Yes before some smart*ss brings up
the question, this story will indeed be coin related.
......................................................PART 3.........................................................................................................
We now rejoin the goings on in Coinalot. The Royal Council of Economic Advisers is gathering in a meeting room to
discuss the growing economic crises in the Kingdom. Our august assembly has been joined by the Royal Minter
Sir David of Hall as well as Sir Colonial Coins and Sir RYK.
Sir RickO: Come to order! This session of the RCEA is now in session. What is the state of the Royal Coinage Sir David?
Sir David: Oh Cr*P, disgusting!
Sir RickO: Quite succinct, Sir David.
Sir David: No, I mean I just stepped into a pile of Cr*p. It would be helpful if someone would sweep out these
rooms from time to time and free us from these annoying animal calling cards. As for the Royal Coinage,
the cadmium Phabluzits and the zinc Fephin are not only worthless, they are also very ugly. Even if we
could produce a MS-70 specimen,it would still not be worth slabbing. I hear that the peasants are using
the coinage as fishing weights.
Sir RYK : What of the Empires of China and Japan, aren't they still buying our debt?
Sir RickO :They seem to be avoiding the Royal Treasury certificates as one would avoid the Bubonic Plague.
Sir RYK
: Serves them right. Anyone stupid enough to buy our debt deserves to lose money.
Royal Dragon: Can't we place a tariff on carts made in Japan?
Sir David: Well certainly the carts made in Japan are better then the carts made in Coinalot. Our wheels are squared
which means terrible mileage, poor reliability, bumpy ride and the paint job is rotten.
Sir RickO: No on the tariffs. That could start a worldwide depression. It wont work.
Sir Volcker: I say raise interest rates to 50%. We have got to crush inflation!
Sir RickO : Sir Volcker, we are on the verge of a depression. Hunger and poverty are stalking the land and no one
has any money, nor is anyone borrowing money. For heavens sake man, the peasants are eating grass.
are you completely mad.
Sir Volcker: Must fight inflation, even if it kills all of the peasants. This is an IMPERATIVE!
Sir RYK: Good heavens, we are under penalty of death here, if we do not come up with some realistic ideas and fast!
Sir Colonial Coins: Can someone give me a short summery here?
Entire Council: Oh dry up CC and pay more attention.We have not the time to address a cogent summery.
Sir RYK: What say we modify the Peasant Social Security plan and take some money out of the LOCKED BOX?
Sir RickO: Sir David, what is the state of the"LOCKED BOX"?
Sir David: Well, for many years, whenever we needed money we just unlocked the "LOCK", and took the money out.
Then we carefully locked the "LOCK BOX" back up.
Sir RickO: and what is the total contents of the"", as of today?
Sir David: Well including today's receipts ,we have....(1) shirt button, 116 Phabluzits , 32 Fephins and one rather stale, half eaten,
jelly donut.
Sir RickO: Doggonit, that pesky bear gets his sticky paws into everything. We should have turned him into a pelt rug years ago.
Perhaps we can have Lady Sarah Palin shoot him, on her next hunting trip , along with the moose.
Sir RYK : As I see it, we can raise the retirement age to 124 years and require credits of 400 quarters of contributions to qualify.
Sir RickO: isn't that rather extreme?As it is, the benefit is only peas porridge in the pot 9 days old and a chicken once a month.
Sir RYK : Extreme times call for extreme methods.
Stay tuned in for Part 4 tomorrow. Will the Council come up with a solution
Will Sir Volcker be sent to the funny farm
Will a new monetary system be created
What role, if any, will PMs play in the story?
What has happened to Sir Midlife?
..................................................................................................PART 4..............................................................................................................................
The Council of Economic Advisers is still in heated discussion when Sir Midlife
enters the room. All heads turn to look at the entrance of the new member.
Sir Midlife: I say, I may have the answer to our problem.
Sir Ryk: Pray tell.
Sir RickO: O goody, I shall notify the Times straight away.
Sir Midlife: Casting sarcastic dispersions aside, this is my idea. We back 20% of our
money with gold. Thus we restore confidence, give real value to our money and we
reduce the chance for rampant inflation. What say you my Merry Men?
Sir Ricko: We have not that much gold, in all of the Royal Treasury Rooms.
Sir Midlife: Thats the beauty of the whole thing, we don't actually need the physical gold,
we can use the gold still in the ground un mined. Like Fort Knox, we merely need to show
pictures of rooms fill with gold but maintain that the vaults are off limits to all, on pain of
death.
Sir David: Let me bottom line this then. We have, what is basically, worthless money and
back it 20%, with what is really non existent gold. Is that basically correct?
Sir Midlife: Exactly. It is no different then issuing paper certificates for precious metals that
really do not exist. Everyone is happy. The peasants are pleased to use our money and
believe that it has value, the Kingdom is happy that its money is being accepted and China
and Japan continue to buy our debt believing that our treasury actually is filled with gold.
It's a WIN! WIN SITUATION!
Royal Dragon:I think that the idea needs something more....Something more schmaltzy!
Sir David: By Jimminy Cricket, I have it. We create a new prestige coin made of gold that will
actually circulate. Why we could make it well enough and beautiful enough to be worthy of
slabbing. Of course, the King will receive a presentation set of Inverse, Reverse, Rotated, Satin
Finished, Double Thick, specially mint Marked with KB (King's Bribe)We can even slab the set
PR-70 DCAM*
Royal Dragon: What do we call this new Coin of the Realm? So many anames are already taken.
Pesos, Dollars, Euros, Loons,Guilders,Yens, Huans,Zlotnicks, Roubles....Ect, ect.
Sir Midlife: Well its got to have ROYAL in the name.
Sir David: It has to have GOLD in the name.
Sir RYK:I have it......ROYAL GOLD PANTALOONS
All assembled say: BY JOVE, I THINK HE HAS IT!
Stay tuned tomorrow for part 5 of this amazing story as the Council reports to the King
and the entire Royal Court.
...............................................................PART 5.....FINAL CHAPTER.......................................................................................
Once again we return to the great hall in Castle Coinalot. King ArtR and the Royal Court is
assembled and eagerly awaiting the report by the Council of Economic Advisers.First to return
is Coinosaurus Rex, the Royal Dragon. He really doth require a great deal of open space to allow
for his great long tail. For anyone stepping on the dragons sensitive tail will causeth him to billow
and blow great blasts of fire and sulfurous by products.....In a short while, all are assembled and
await upon the King to begin the meeting.
A bedraggled dripping form enters the Royal Hall. Why, it is non other then Sir Laffer himself.
King ArtR: Well sir Laffer, did we enjoy our laundering?
Sir Laffer: Oh quite sire, quite. My pants are a little short on me now, but, I can have the tailor let
them down about 6 inches.
King ArtR: Sir Airplanenut, please put your yo yo away now. It is quite distracting watching you "Rock the baby".
Sir Airplanenut: Yes Sire, Sorry.
King ArtR: Well now, what hath the Council of economic advisers to report?
Sir Mid Life: Well sire, here it is in a nutshell.
Sir Airplanenut, what kind of nutshell is it?
Sir Midlife: It doesn't matter, you young twit.
Sir Airplanenut: It always matters you old fart! If it is a walnut then it will be a big plan. If it is a peanut shell
then it will be a small plane. Everyone knows that.
Royal Dragon: *(Whispering to Sir Midlife) Want me to toast the young squirt's tootsies for you?
Sir Midlife: No, let it be. Lets us say that what we have here is to be placed in a pecan shell. Here then is the plan.
We issue new money which is of course worthless, but is now to be backed 20% by gold that does not
actually exist. As icing on the cake, the Royal Mint Master, Sir David of Hall will produce a magnificent
Coin to be called the Royal Golden Pantaloon..It will of course have a most pleasing rendition of your
most Kingly and magnificent head,with the Royal Crest on the Back. The coin will be issued in Mint State as well
Reverse, inverse, rotated, double thick Deep Cameo Proof which Sir David will have slabbed as PR-70 DCAM. Your
kingness will be presented with an issue with the mint mark (KB) for the Royal Coin Collection. Now the Royal Bonds
and Treasury bills will be backed by our money backed by the non existent gold.
King ArtR: What do you mean non existent gold?
Sir Midlife: Sire, the gold really does exist, but it just has not been mined yet. After all, finance is merely a matter of trust. When it comes
to finance, it is really backed by fluff and feathers with a little smoke a mirrors added for color.
King ArtR: But you say that the Royal Golden Pantaloon do really exist?
Sir Midlife: Yes sire, they will indeed exist.
King ArtR: Hmmm. What if someone should seek to look upon this gold reserve?
Sir Midlife: Well sire, we do what the US Government does at Fort Knox. We show the world pictures of rooms filled
with gold from floor to ceiling. However, for security reasons, the rooms are sealed and can be viewed only
upon pain of immediate death.
King ArtR: What is real and valuable coinage is required in lesser value then the Golden Pantaloons?
Sir Midlife, Well then, Sire, We have the Royal Silver pants and the Royal Copper briefs.
King ArtR: Well done then, well done indeed. Let us now adjourn to the Royal Tavern and quaff some cold Ginger Beer.
And so another exciting Tale of Coinalot draws to its end.
called Coinalot. The ruler of this land was non other the
Good King ArtR. The great problem with the Kingdom was
that each year, the Royal Treasury spent far more money
then the Kingdom had to spend. A point was reached when
the money owed, was more then all the Kings' horses and
all the Kings' Men and all the cows, chickens, goats and
all the peasants' hovels and farms in the entire Kingdom put
together. It was a dire situation and something had to be,
done and quickly at that. Which now leads me into the
interesting :
TALE OF THE ROYAL GOLDEN PANTALOON
In the Royal Court of Good King ArtR, the King is vexed, troubled
and concerned.
King ArtR: I say there, Lord Keeper of the Royal Money, what say you of
the state of the Kingdom, finances?
Lord Keeper: Most appalling Sire. Our money is worthless, the peasants
have lost confidence, we owe more money then we can
ever repay and the Knights have not been paid for 6 months.
King ArtR: Zounds that sounds bad. Call an emergency meeting of the Royal
Council to meet in the Great Hall within the hour, make great haste
Keeper for the very Kingdom may well be in terrible danger.
Next we see the Royal Council assemble in the Great Hall, All of the great minds,
wits, halfwits, dimwits, numbnuts, savants, royalty, knights and Royal Advisers
as well as the Royal Dragon .
King ArtR: We have a serious problem with the Kingdoms' Royal expenses. We spend
more then we have and we owe more then we can ever repay. The peasants
are near revolting.
Sir Chilblain: They soitenly are your highness!
Sir Dragon : Nothing wrong with the the pheasants Sire.
King ArtR : No, no you numbskulls! not pheasants, I said peasants.
I swear, if this Council had half a brain, it would be lonely.
THE TALE WILL CONTINUE AFTER THE AUTHOR HAS A BIT OF DINNER
NO TELLING WHERE THIS TALE WILL LEAD
.................PART 2...............................................................................
Sir Laffer: Sire, I have a curve here that shows as taxes go to zero,
income goes up.
King ArtR : Can this indeed be true?
Sir Laffer : Of course not sire, but it looks good on paper.
King ArtR : Ah, I understand. Your intent is to diddle and confabulate your King.
Oh guards, Take hither Mr Jokester yon to the old catapault. Perhaps
an E ride on the old wooden monster will quench Mr. Funster in the
frigid Bay of E. Oh and you might put Mr Ninny on the old rack for a few
dozen good turns. I would say perhaps 6 inches taller might look very
nice on him indeed.
With that being said, the guards drag a screaming Sir laffer to the Castle Tower, to be
stretched, starched, pressed and washed in the Bay of E.
Sir Airplanenut: Ooh, Oooh, me sire. Call on me!
King Art R : Alright young sir knight, what have you to sayeth?
Sir Airplanenut: We could hold a drive to collect bottles, cans paper, plastic and things
and sell them to the used floatsum and jestsum man.
King ArtR: A good try Sir Airplanenut, but I fear too little and far too late.
Sir RYK: Sire, raise taxes.
King ArtR: We already tax at 100% Sir RYK, It would be unseemly, to tax the peasants
for next years taxes in advance.
Friar tuck : Sire, take their first born.
King ArtR : Good Friar, methinks that you hath quaffed from the sacramental wine, far too much.
Sir Midlife: Sire, create a Council of Economic Advisers to come up with a solution to the problem.
Royal Dragon: I second the motion!
Sir Coinman: I move the motion!
King ArtR: Gentleman, need I remind you that this is not a constitutional Monarchy. I am not Elizabeth II,
I am the KING! Sole ruler and determinator of all there is, was and will be. IS THAT CLEAR!
All assembled: Yes Sire.
King ArtR: This is what I decree shall be done. A Royal Council of Economic Advisers shall be assembled. This
Council, under pain of death, shall come up with intelligent proposals to be set forth before this Royal
Court within 24 hours. I select Sir Bili Rubin, Sir Volcker, Sirs Manny , Moe and Jack,as well as Sir Ricko
Sir RYK, Royal Dragon Coinosaurus Rex and Sir Midlife, to constitute said Council.
With that decree, the Royal Court is adjourned to reassemble within 24 hours...........more or less to solve the vexing
problem of too much desire, not enough where with all. If only we had duly elected Congress and a President to rule.
They would surely know what to do. In fact, they would never have let such a problem develop, of this I am sure.
STAY TUNED......SAME TIME.......SAME STATION FOR PART 3 on the morrow. Yes before some smart*ss brings up
the question, this story will indeed be coin related.
......................................................PART 3.........................................................................................................
We now rejoin the goings on in Coinalot. The Royal Council of Economic Advisers is gathering in a meeting room to
discuss the growing economic crises in the Kingdom. Our august assembly has been joined by the Royal Minter
Sir David of Hall as well as Sir Colonial Coins and Sir RYK.
Sir RickO: Come to order! This session of the RCEA is now in session. What is the state of the Royal Coinage Sir David?
Sir David: Oh Cr*P, disgusting!
Sir RickO: Quite succinct, Sir David.
Sir David: No, I mean I just stepped into a pile of Cr*p. It would be helpful if someone would sweep out these
rooms from time to time and free us from these annoying animal calling cards. As for the Royal Coinage,
the cadmium Phabluzits and the zinc Fephin are not only worthless, they are also very ugly. Even if we
could produce a MS-70 specimen,it would still not be worth slabbing. I hear that the peasants are using
the coinage as fishing weights.
Sir RYK : What of the Empires of China and Japan, aren't they still buying our debt?
Sir RickO :They seem to be avoiding the Royal Treasury certificates as one would avoid the Bubonic Plague.
Sir RYK
: Serves them right. Anyone stupid enough to buy our debt deserves to lose money.
Royal Dragon: Can't we place a tariff on carts made in Japan?
Sir David: Well certainly the carts made in Japan are better then the carts made in Coinalot. Our wheels are squared
which means terrible mileage, poor reliability, bumpy ride and the paint job is rotten.
Sir RickO: No on the tariffs. That could start a worldwide depression. It wont work.
Sir Volcker: I say raise interest rates to 50%. We have got to crush inflation!
Sir RickO : Sir Volcker, we are on the verge of a depression. Hunger and poverty are stalking the land and no one
has any money, nor is anyone borrowing money. For heavens sake man, the peasants are eating grass.
are you completely mad.
Sir Volcker: Must fight inflation, even if it kills all of the peasants. This is an IMPERATIVE!
Sir RYK: Good heavens, we are under penalty of death here, if we do not come up with some realistic ideas and fast!
Sir Colonial Coins: Can someone give me a short summery here?
Entire Council: Oh dry up CC and pay more attention.We have not the time to address a cogent summery.
Sir RYK: What say we modify the Peasant Social Security plan and take some money out of the LOCKED BOX?
Sir RickO: Sir David, what is the state of the"LOCKED BOX"?
Sir David: Well, for many years, whenever we needed money we just unlocked the "LOCK", and took the money out.
Then we carefully locked the "LOCK BOX" back up.
Sir RickO: and what is the total contents of the"", as of today?
Sir David: Well including today's receipts ,we have....(1) shirt button, 116 Phabluzits , 32 Fephins and one rather stale, half eaten,
jelly donut.
Sir RickO: Doggonit, that pesky bear gets his sticky paws into everything. We should have turned him into a pelt rug years ago.
Perhaps we can have Lady Sarah Palin shoot him, on her next hunting trip , along with the moose.
Sir RYK : As I see it, we can raise the retirement age to 124 years and require credits of 400 quarters of contributions to qualify.
Sir RickO: isn't that rather extreme?As it is, the benefit is only peas porridge in the pot 9 days old and a chicken once a month.
Sir RYK : Extreme times call for extreme methods.
Stay tuned in for Part 4 tomorrow. Will the Council come up with a solution
Will Sir Volcker be sent to the funny farm
Will a new monetary system be created
What role, if any, will PMs play in the story?
What has happened to Sir Midlife?
..................................................................................................PART 4..............................................................................................................................
The Council of Economic Advisers is still in heated discussion when Sir Midlife
enters the room. All heads turn to look at the entrance of the new member.
Sir Midlife: I say, I may have the answer to our problem.
Sir Ryk: Pray tell.
Sir RickO: O goody, I shall notify the Times straight away.
Sir Midlife: Casting sarcastic dispersions aside, this is my idea. We back 20% of our
money with gold. Thus we restore confidence, give real value to our money and we
reduce the chance for rampant inflation. What say you my Merry Men?
Sir Ricko: We have not that much gold, in all of the Royal Treasury Rooms.
Sir Midlife: Thats the beauty of the whole thing, we don't actually need the physical gold,
we can use the gold still in the ground un mined. Like Fort Knox, we merely need to show
pictures of rooms fill with gold but maintain that the vaults are off limits to all, on pain of
death.
Sir David: Let me bottom line this then. We have, what is basically, worthless money and
back it 20%, with what is really non existent gold. Is that basically correct?
Sir Midlife: Exactly. It is no different then issuing paper certificates for precious metals that
really do not exist. Everyone is happy. The peasants are pleased to use our money and
believe that it has value, the Kingdom is happy that its money is being accepted and China
and Japan continue to buy our debt believing that our treasury actually is filled with gold.
It's a WIN! WIN SITUATION!
Royal Dragon:I think that the idea needs something more....Something more schmaltzy!
Sir David: By Jimminy Cricket, I have it. We create a new prestige coin made of gold that will
actually circulate. Why we could make it well enough and beautiful enough to be worthy of
slabbing. Of course, the King will receive a presentation set of Inverse, Reverse, Rotated, Satin
Finished, Double Thick, specially mint Marked with KB (King's Bribe)We can even slab the set
PR-70 DCAM*
Royal Dragon: What do we call this new Coin of the Realm? So many anames are already taken.
Pesos, Dollars, Euros, Loons,Guilders,Yens, Huans,Zlotnicks, Roubles....Ect, ect.
Sir Midlife: Well its got to have ROYAL in the name.
Sir David: It has to have GOLD in the name.
Sir RYK:I have it......ROYAL GOLD PANTALOONS
All assembled say: BY JOVE, I THINK HE HAS IT!
Stay tuned tomorrow for part 5 of this amazing story as the Council reports to the King
and the entire Royal Court.
...............................................................PART 5.....FINAL CHAPTER.......................................................................................
Once again we return to the great hall in Castle Coinalot. King ArtR and the Royal Court is
assembled and eagerly awaiting the report by the Council of Economic Advisers.First to return
is Coinosaurus Rex, the Royal Dragon. He really doth require a great deal of open space to allow
for his great long tail. For anyone stepping on the dragons sensitive tail will causeth him to billow
and blow great blasts of fire and sulfurous by products.....In a short while, all are assembled and
await upon the King to begin the meeting.
A bedraggled dripping form enters the Royal Hall. Why, it is non other then Sir Laffer himself.
King ArtR: Well sir Laffer, did we enjoy our laundering?
Sir Laffer: Oh quite sire, quite. My pants are a little short on me now, but, I can have the tailor let
them down about 6 inches.
King ArtR: Sir Airplanenut, please put your yo yo away now. It is quite distracting watching you "Rock the baby".
Sir Airplanenut: Yes Sire, Sorry.
King ArtR: Well now, what hath the Council of economic advisers to report?
Sir Mid Life: Well sire, here it is in a nutshell.
Sir Airplanenut, what kind of nutshell is it?
Sir Midlife: It doesn't matter, you young twit.
Sir Airplanenut: It always matters you old fart! If it is a walnut then it will be a big plan. If it is a peanut shell
then it will be a small plane. Everyone knows that.
Royal Dragon: *(Whispering to Sir Midlife) Want me to toast the young squirt's tootsies for you?
Sir Midlife: No, let it be. Lets us say that what we have here is to be placed in a pecan shell. Here then is the plan.
We issue new money which is of course worthless, but is now to be backed 20% by gold that does not
actually exist. As icing on the cake, the Royal Mint Master, Sir David of Hall will produce a magnificent
Coin to be called the Royal Golden Pantaloon..It will of course have a most pleasing rendition of your
most Kingly and magnificent head,with the Royal Crest on the Back. The coin will be issued in Mint State as well
Reverse, inverse, rotated, double thick Deep Cameo Proof which Sir David will have slabbed as PR-70 DCAM. Your
kingness will be presented with an issue with the mint mark (KB) for the Royal Coin Collection. Now the Royal Bonds
and Treasury bills will be backed by our money backed by the non existent gold.
King ArtR: What do you mean non existent gold?
Sir Midlife: Sire, the gold really does exist, but it just has not been mined yet. After all, finance is merely a matter of trust. When it comes
to finance, it is really backed by fluff and feathers with a little smoke a mirrors added for color.
King ArtR: But you say that the Royal Golden Pantaloon do really exist?
Sir Midlife: Yes sire, they will indeed exist.
King ArtR: Hmmm. What if someone should seek to look upon this gold reserve?
Sir Midlife: Well sire, we do what the US Government does at Fort Knox. We show the world pictures of rooms filled
with gold from floor to ceiling. However, for security reasons, the rooms are sealed and can be viewed only
upon pain of immediate death.
King ArtR: What is real and valuable coinage is required in lesser value then the Golden Pantaloons?
Sir Midlife, Well then, Sire, We have the Royal Silver pants and the Royal Copper briefs.
King ArtR: Well done then, well done indeed. Let us now adjourn to the Royal Tavern and quaff some cold Ginger Beer.
And so another exciting Tale of Coinalot draws to its end.
There once was a place called
Camelot
Camelot
0
Comments
Looking forward to the next installment.
Camelot
<< <i>Part 2 >>
quite a spin you put on that bear
Nothing is as ridiculous, as the events of real life itself. The true
fools and jesters that cause the very finest of mirth, are always to be
found in the Governments of man.
Camelot
<< <i>Can someone summarize this briefly? >>
Economy bad.
(I can get it down to one word if the above is too lenghty.
Overall, I am glad to see that Bear's creative juices are flowing and thrilled to have a cameo (finally something con-related
Great tale again eagerly awaiting the next part.
Dan
">Franklin Halves
">Kennedy Halves
I'm a little concerned for RickO though!
and concerned."
Could this be? NO! A frenzy!!!
Camelot
I hope we leave Sir RYK's private messages out of this story.
Camelot
No Way Out: Stimulus and Money Printing Are the Only Path Left
the Sci Fi Channel, for a series.
The movie comes later.
Camelot
Camelot
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
"Keep your malarkey filter in good operating order" -Walter Breen
Future classics may include..""THE COUNT IN A BOTTLE OF CRISCO" , THE CITY WITH TWO TAILS
and the ever popular" CINDERELLA AND THE THREE BEERS".
Camelot
Camelot
Camelot