New Tales of Coinalot By the Assistant Associate Scribe to the Great Bard
Bear
Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
Once again, we return to the enchanted Kingdom of Coinalot.
Within the palace of King ArtR, we find the King meeting, with his
Royal Council, in the Great Hall.
King ArtR...Alright, my merry men. What is the poop with the Royal
Army Sir Keets.
Sir Keets....Sire, we are in the final stage of Preparation -H , in getting
ready for war with the lands of the Cantellonies. In addition to the Regular Knights,
we will have to call up the Knight Guard.
King ArtR.....Night Guard. Is that not the appliance that I doth wear to quell the
grinding of the Royal Teeth?
Sir Keets.....No Sire, Night Guard is not the Right Guard.
King ArtR....Where is my War Commander, General Sir Bear?
Sir Keets....He is not here Sire.
King ArtR...And pray tell, where might my overstuffed ursine be located?
Sir Airplanenut...OY, OY, sire. I know , I know. General Sir Bear is hibernating.
King ArtR.....OK then, let me see If I have this straight.
We are going to war with an army of dental appliances and underarm deodorants,
led by a hibernating bear. Is that more or less correct?
Sir Keets. Yes Sire, more or less.
King ArtR....What say my Keeper of The Royal Intelligance.
Is the lands of the Barbarians truly developing long range balistas
capable of launching WMDs within the castle grounds?
Sir Anaconda...Sire, while It is true that the Cantellonies have long range
balistas, work on the WMD was suspended several years ago.
King ArtR....Pray tell me Sir Anaconda, what was this diabolical weapon?
Sir Anaconda....Gas Bags filled with noxious fumes Sire.
King ArtR...What's this thou sayest, the Cantallonies were going to fire politicians
at us?
Sir Anaconda..Not quite Sire. Rather a somewhat more vexing vapor capable of overtaxing
our senses.
King ArtR....What's this, you say. There is something that we have not overtaxed ourselves?
Where is the keeper of the Royal Finances?
Sir Mad Marty...YeS sire?
King ArtR.....What is this I hear that we have not taxed senses.
Sir Mad Marty...Sire, The peasants have absolute nothing and we are taxing
that at 150%. Oh Sire, the peasants are in a terrible state. They are really
close to revolting.
King ArtR...They certainly are. Well If I can't tax the peasants any more, how comes
our Preparation H for war?
Sir Mad Marty...Sire , the Knights are Rusty.
King ArtR....WELL, TAKE THE LAZY BASTICHES OUT AND RUN SOME FAT OFF THEM!
Sir Mad Marty....No Sire, not the Knights. It is the armor they wear that is rusty.
It will take the expenditure of much Golden Pantaloons from the treasury, to be
ready for war.
Sir Keets....Sire, there is another issue. A new service is available that will evaluate our knights.
King ArtR..What need have our knights for such grading. Hath not each knight finished a
course in the Royal Knights School and hath that school not certified each knight?
Sir Keets....That is true sire,however this service will rate each night as PQ, or sub PQ.
It will only cost two gold Pantaloons to evaluate each knight.
King ArtR...What! For two gold Pantaloons, I could stay at a Howard Johnson Inn.
King ArtR..Confound it! I can't even go to war when I want to. This then is my final word
on the matter. Postpone the war until General Sir Bear is through hibernating. Buy new armor
for the nights, notify the Knight Guard and Knight Reserves to be ready for active duty in the Spring.
Until then, Preparation H is on hold and is not to be actively applied.
With that clarion call, the Royal Court is adjourned, war is postponed, General Sir Bear is left to slumber,
new armor will be ordered and all is well until the next, NEW TALES OF COINALOT!
Within the palace of King ArtR, we find the King meeting, with his
Royal Council, in the Great Hall.
King ArtR...Alright, my merry men. What is the poop with the Royal
Army Sir Keets.
Sir Keets....Sire, we are in the final stage of Preparation -H , in getting
ready for war with the lands of the Cantellonies. In addition to the Regular Knights,
we will have to call up the Knight Guard.
King ArtR.....Night Guard. Is that not the appliance that I doth wear to quell the
grinding of the Royal Teeth?
Sir Keets.....No Sire, Night Guard is not the Right Guard.
King ArtR....Where is my War Commander, General Sir Bear?
Sir Keets....He is not here Sire.
King ArtR...And pray tell, where might my overstuffed ursine be located?
Sir Airplanenut...OY, OY, sire. I know , I know. General Sir Bear is hibernating.
King ArtR.....OK then, let me see If I have this straight.
We are going to war with an army of dental appliances and underarm deodorants,
led by a hibernating bear. Is that more or less correct?
Sir Keets. Yes Sire, more or less.
King ArtR....What say my Keeper of The Royal Intelligance.
Is the lands of the Barbarians truly developing long range balistas
capable of launching WMDs within the castle grounds?
Sir Anaconda...Sire, while It is true that the Cantellonies have long range
balistas, work on the WMD was suspended several years ago.
King ArtR....Pray tell me Sir Anaconda, what was this diabolical weapon?
Sir Anaconda....Gas Bags filled with noxious fumes Sire.
King ArtR...What's this thou sayest, the Cantallonies were going to fire politicians
at us?
Sir Anaconda..Not quite Sire. Rather a somewhat more vexing vapor capable of overtaxing
our senses.
King ArtR....What's this, you say. There is something that we have not overtaxed ourselves?
Where is the keeper of the Royal Finances?
Sir Mad Marty...YeS sire?
King ArtR.....What is this I hear that we have not taxed senses.
Sir Mad Marty...Sire, The peasants have absolute nothing and we are taxing
that at 150%. Oh Sire, the peasants are in a terrible state. They are really
close to revolting.
King ArtR...They certainly are. Well If I can't tax the peasants any more, how comes
our Preparation H for war?
Sir Mad Marty...Sire , the Knights are Rusty.
King ArtR....WELL, TAKE THE LAZY BASTICHES OUT AND RUN SOME FAT OFF THEM!
Sir Mad Marty....No Sire, not the Knights. It is the armor they wear that is rusty.
It will take the expenditure of much Golden Pantaloons from the treasury, to be
ready for war.
Sir Keets....Sire, there is another issue. A new service is available that will evaluate our knights.
King ArtR..What need have our knights for such grading. Hath not each knight finished a
course in the Royal Knights School and hath that school not certified each knight?
Sir Keets....That is true sire,however this service will rate each night as PQ, or sub PQ.
It will only cost two gold Pantaloons to evaluate each knight.
King ArtR...What! For two gold Pantaloons, I could stay at a Howard Johnson Inn.
King ArtR..Confound it! I can't even go to war when I want to. This then is my final word
on the matter. Postpone the war until General Sir Bear is through hibernating. Buy new armor
for the nights, notify the Knight Guard and Knight Reserves to be ready for active duty in the Spring.
Until then, Preparation H is on hold and is not to be actively applied.
With that clarion call, the Royal Court is adjourned, war is postponed, General Sir Bear is left to slumber,
new armor will be ordered and all is well until the next, NEW TALES OF COINALOT!
There once was a place called
Camelot
Camelot
0
Comments
Hell, I don't need to exercise.....I get enough just pushing my luck.
<< <i>King ArtR.....OK then, let me see If I have this straight.
We are going to war with an army of dental appliances and underarm deodorants,
led by a hibernating bear. Is that more or less correct? >>
"Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working" Pablo Picasso
Very well put!
Dan
">Franklin Halves
">Kennedy Halves
Many thanks Sir Bear!
Regards,
Wayne
Wayne
www.waynedriskillminiatures.com
Have a Great Day!
Louis
P.S. As always, a great story.
An authorized PCGS dealer, and a contributor to the Red Book.
This thread brings up memories of some really great times on the board.
Camelot
Thanks Bear!!
Stuart
Collect 18th & 19th Century US Type Coins, Silver Dollars, $20 Gold Double Eagles and World Crowns & Talers with High Eye Appeal
"Luck is what happens when Preparation meets Opportunity"
now THIS be some good weekend reading.
.
LQQK OUT below…
a care bear
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
<< <i>Clankeye was the originator and master of the genre. >>
Clankeye was remarkably talented.
He's still a singer/ songwriter last I checked and he has some good stuff out.