THE OFFICIAL 2007 NFL SMACK POST. SMACK HERE OR GO HOME
joestalin
Posts: 12,473 ✭✭
in Sports Talk
Here we are, another year of football ahead of us. I waited a little longer this year so you could see your "team" in action through a few pre season games. I
figure a few more of you pansies might actually show up and represent your teams, rather than the usual week 8 bandwagon jumping we see every year. As
you know I was able to rightfully predict the Bucs going wire to wire back in 02. That was some foul tasting crow that many of your were eating back then, but
hey, I don't care, you don't like it see a dentist!
So once again, to help you all with your office pools, or your fantasy football, or whatever side action you are putting down this year, I am offering you my
professional break down of the entire NFL. Keep in mind that this usually costs 149.99, or 4 easy payments of 39.99, but since you all are clueless when it
comes to NFL, Ill be breaking this down for free. Ok get our your pads (urrrrrr note pads that is), and pencil and get ready to listen, learn and hopefully show
up with some smack on your team!
AFC EAST:
So the patsies have been winning this division on bascially auto pilot, while I don't think it will be a reach to win it again, you all have gone Yankees on the NFL and
will meet their same doom.....lots of paychecks, but no rings. Jets are looking better with Leon Washington running the ball, but who is going to chuck it? Fish
are with a pansy coach and will be lucky to win 5 this year....but they will beat the Pats once. Bills just plain suck- the Lions of the AFC
AFC NORTH:
This will be the batter Brady Quinn league. The Brownies will feel the pressure to put Mr Everything in and then the pounding will come. I like D, and this conf has
D, but other than that good luck getting very far! We all saw that Cincy and the Steelers were full of hot air last year. Ravens will do the same this year!
AFC SOUTH:
So Tony finally got one! He has had either the best defense in the league or the best offense in the league for the past 5 years and couldn't get anything but one
ring, thats ok, cause payback is a ***** Jags will win this division.
AFC WEST:
There are a few decent teams here, but none going to be sniffing rings when all is said and done. Cutler is just another QB from Vandy. Larry Johnson will sit most of the
season and suck his thumb and pretend he is the best RB in the league. Can anything be more prettier than waking up sunday, checking your fantasy football line up
and seeing that they are all playing against KC? I love that smell.
NFC EAST:
What can I say about this pretend division? These sorry teams haven't won rings since old guys played a long time ago. Washington just broke their starting QB
in half during a pre season game, part of the Spurrier curse of never having a decent QB ever again! North of town in Philly it doesn't get much better. The window
is officially closing. Assume the position...well unless you are playing the cowgirls, who have NO chance to do anything this year except to try to get a high Seminole
draft pick next year. Are we just really a year away from "This is going to be sick?" Just make sure Romo comes to training camp with a barrel or baby powder! Giants arn't
worth my finger strokes!
NFC NORTH:
Speaking of smoke and mirrors the Bear will once again be back on top or this one...and maybe even at 7-9! This divison features the door mat of the league (the lions)
with their yet again another wasted top pick WR, the Vikings still suffering from the Mike Tice era, and the hopeless Packers with Brett "where's the asprin" Favre. If you
see your teams schedule and it has any of those three teams on it, chalk up a W. My only question is : Can schedule makers make it any more easier for the Bears
this season?
NFC WEST:
There is plenty of hype in the division, but Alex Smith will show his true suckness, and will join the ranks of Tim Couch. Gore is hurt and Jackson will be running for
his life. The Seahawks scare no one now, expect even the Cards to beat them, and probably blow some 40 points leads too! There is nothing here, so stop looking.
NFC SOUTH:
While all the other divisons are those small lean cuisine boxes, this divison is once again the hungry man with the 20% added! Sure Vick is gone and the Falcons
are in ruins but the other three teams all have shots. We all laughed at the Saints, but they can plain ball. They won't be under the radar this year! We also know
that the Panthers play mean, and dirty and bring their own refs, but your real fear.....the thing that wakes you up at night..the thing that you think about driving
to work and sitting at the office, the thing than makes you go to bed at night sucking your thumb, are the group of football players who are going to make life
painfully hard for you this year. Thats right, you already know them as the guys who destroyed everyone in 2002 and came back a few years later after they
were left for dead, you know them Philly fan, as the team you could never ever beat, not with McNad, not with Jaws, not even with Rocky...that's right
THE TAMPA BAY BUCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This team is LOADED once again. Jeffy Garcia, the guy who just won all his life, but was throw to the wolves because he didn't bring Andy Reid enough donuts, is
now the guy who will be leading us to the promise land. Caddy has new wheels and a big old fat O line to go with it. He will be adding in more Vinking-esk highlight
runs to the arsonal. The D as usual, is going to make your QB look silly and then run him over. Gaines Adams will win ROY from the D line position!!! Come Decmeber
you will be searching ebay for shirts that have "Garcia to Galloway" printed on the back. Ill have a few tucked away!
There you go my fellow board members, you can take this to the bank and they will probably accepted it as cash. If you feel that your team was slammed here, it was,
it is clear that there can by only one team smelling rings at the end, and that team will be Tampa Bay.
....and before the sorry responses (urrrr smack talk), Ill leave you all, especially Eagles fan, with a little wisdom:
NO ONE CARES ABOUT SECOND PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks
JS
BUCS BUCS BUCS BUCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
figure a few more of you pansies might actually show up and represent your teams, rather than the usual week 8 bandwagon jumping we see every year. As
you know I was able to rightfully predict the Bucs going wire to wire back in 02. That was some foul tasting crow that many of your were eating back then, but
hey, I don't care, you don't like it see a dentist!
So once again, to help you all with your office pools, or your fantasy football, or whatever side action you are putting down this year, I am offering you my
professional break down of the entire NFL. Keep in mind that this usually costs 149.99, or 4 easy payments of 39.99, but since you all are clueless when it
comes to NFL, Ill be breaking this down for free. Ok get our your pads (urrrrrr note pads that is), and pencil and get ready to listen, learn and hopefully show
up with some smack on your team!
AFC EAST:
So the patsies have been winning this division on bascially auto pilot, while I don't think it will be a reach to win it again, you all have gone Yankees on the NFL and
will meet their same doom.....lots of paychecks, but no rings. Jets are looking better with Leon Washington running the ball, but who is going to chuck it? Fish
are with a pansy coach and will be lucky to win 5 this year....but they will beat the Pats once. Bills just plain suck- the Lions of the AFC
AFC NORTH:
This will be the batter Brady Quinn league. The Brownies will feel the pressure to put Mr Everything in and then the pounding will come. I like D, and this conf has
D, but other than that good luck getting very far! We all saw that Cincy and the Steelers were full of hot air last year. Ravens will do the same this year!
AFC SOUTH:
So Tony finally got one! He has had either the best defense in the league or the best offense in the league for the past 5 years and couldn't get anything but one
ring, thats ok, cause payback is a ***** Jags will win this division.
AFC WEST:
There are a few decent teams here, but none going to be sniffing rings when all is said and done. Cutler is just another QB from Vandy. Larry Johnson will sit most of the
season and suck his thumb and pretend he is the best RB in the league. Can anything be more prettier than waking up sunday, checking your fantasy football line up
and seeing that they are all playing against KC? I love that smell.
NFC EAST:
What can I say about this pretend division? These sorry teams haven't won rings since old guys played a long time ago. Washington just broke their starting QB
in half during a pre season game, part of the Spurrier curse of never having a decent QB ever again! North of town in Philly it doesn't get much better. The window
is officially closing. Assume the position...well unless you are playing the cowgirls, who have NO chance to do anything this year except to try to get a high Seminole
draft pick next year. Are we just really a year away from "This is going to be sick?" Just make sure Romo comes to training camp with a barrel or baby powder! Giants arn't
worth my finger strokes!
NFC NORTH:
Speaking of smoke and mirrors the Bear will once again be back on top or this one...and maybe even at 7-9! This divison features the door mat of the league (the lions)
with their yet again another wasted top pick WR, the Vikings still suffering from the Mike Tice era, and the hopeless Packers with Brett "where's the asprin" Favre. If you
see your teams schedule and it has any of those three teams on it, chalk up a W. My only question is : Can schedule makers make it any more easier for the Bears
this season?
NFC WEST:
There is plenty of hype in the division, but Alex Smith will show his true suckness, and will join the ranks of Tim Couch. Gore is hurt and Jackson will be running for
his life. The Seahawks scare no one now, expect even the Cards to beat them, and probably blow some 40 points leads too! There is nothing here, so stop looking.
NFC SOUTH:
While all the other divisons are those small lean cuisine boxes, this divison is once again the hungry man with the 20% added! Sure Vick is gone and the Falcons
are in ruins but the other three teams all have shots. We all laughed at the Saints, but they can plain ball. They won't be under the radar this year! We also know
that the Panthers play mean, and dirty and bring their own refs, but your real fear.....the thing that wakes you up at night..the thing that you think about driving
to work and sitting at the office, the thing than makes you go to bed at night sucking your thumb, are the group of football players who are going to make life
painfully hard for you this year. Thats right, you already know them as the guys who destroyed everyone in 2002 and came back a few years later after they
were left for dead, you know them Philly fan, as the team you could never ever beat, not with McNad, not with Jaws, not even with Rocky...that's right
THE TAMPA BAY BUCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This team is LOADED once again. Jeffy Garcia, the guy who just won all his life, but was throw to the wolves because he didn't bring Andy Reid enough donuts, is
now the guy who will be leading us to the promise land. Caddy has new wheels and a big old fat O line to go with it. He will be adding in more Vinking-esk highlight
runs to the arsonal. The D as usual, is going to make your QB look silly and then run him over. Gaines Adams will win ROY from the D line position!!! Come Decmeber
you will be searching ebay for shirts that have "Garcia to Galloway" printed on the back. Ill have a few tucked away!
There you go my fellow board members, you can take this to the bank and they will probably accepted it as cash. If you feel that your team was slammed here, it was,
it is clear that there can by only one team smelling rings at the end, and that team will be Tampa Bay.
....and before the sorry responses (urrrr smack talk), Ill leave you all, especially Eagles fan, with a little wisdom:
NO ONE CARES ABOUT SECOND PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks
JS
BUCS BUCS BUCS BUCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0
Comments
This team is LOADED once again. Jeffy Garcia, the guy who just won all his life, but was throw to the wolves because he didn't bring Andy Reid enough donuts, is
now the guy who will be leading us to the promise land. Caddy has new wheels and a big old fat O line to go with it. He will be adding in more Vinking-esk highlight
runs to the arsonal. The D as usual, is going to make your QB look silly and then run him over. Gaines Adams will win ROY from the D line position!!! Come Decmeber
you will be searching ebay for shirts that have "Garcia to Galloway" printed on the back. Ill have a few tucked away!"
JS
BTW... go Pats
Seahawks go all the way, unless the SB is fixed again.
Dave
<< <i>The Bucs are total plodders --- I find it difficult to stay awake while watching them. 13 pts for the Bucs is considered an offensive explosion! Not gonna git r done!
Seahawks go all the way, unless the SB is fixed again.
Dave >>
Get used to 0-1 Dave!
JS
Dave
Pleassssse....with Alex Smith at the controls? He throws the ball to the defense far too often. Bad habits are hard to break. But SF will run the piss out of the ball, no doubt about that. But that won't be enough to hold off the '06 NFC Champs. I see 8-8, maybe 9-7 for SF at best.
Dave
<< <i>"Lowly SF? Maybe in the past few years, but they are winning that division this year"
Pleassssse....with Alex Smith at the controls? He throws the ball to the defense far too often. Bad habits are hard to break. But SF will run the piss out of the ball, no doubt about that. But that won't be enough to hold off the '06 NFC Champs. I see 8-8, maybe 9-7 for SF at best.
Dave >>
And you can see his future after a couple years in the NFL? Wow, what are you doing here? You should be doing predictions for money.
Seriously, how can you say the Seahawks, who made so few improvements can actually hang with the 49ers, who upgraded their defense significantly; the Rams, who added in McMichael at TE and Drew Bennett at WR, and the Cardinals who are completely stacked at every position?
It's going to be the best division race in football, and by far the most exciting football top to bottom.
I said that no one cares about second place, I though you all could figure out that also no one cares about 22nd and 23rd place either!
JS
Man, I wish Vegas would take bets that that guy would suck. I'd be all over it. But they already know he sucks.
So you're buying the 'much impoved' Rams, Cards and 49's hype, eh? Did you buy it last year too? How about the year before that? Are they all going 10-6 in your world?
Dave
Seahawks will have a good year, but to think it's going to be the cakewalk it was the last couple years is foolish.
I'd also say Seattle winning the West at 9-7 without their starting QB and RB for much of the year was not a 'cakewalk'. Not sure what you are talking about there. Maybe you were thinking of Indy? Or the Bears? Those were cakewalks.
Dave
P.S. My prediction for the Hawks is 10-6. That takes the still weak NFC West in '07.
<< <i>I though you all could figure out that also no one cares about 22nd and 23rd place either! >>
And Joe knows all about teams finishing out of the playoffs. When was the last time the Bucs made it to the Superbowl?
"If I ever decided to do a book, I've already got the title-The Bases Were Loaded and So Was I"-Jim Fregosi
<< <i>So you are at least buying the Rams and 49's hype, eh? We talking 10-6? I mean, these teams are powerhouses. >>
Either of these teams have the ability to win 12 games...NFC across the board is down, as evidenced by Chicago winning 13 games last year.
<< <i>I'd also say Seattle winning the West at 9-7 without their starting QB and RB for much of the year was not a 'cakewalk'. Not sure what you are talking about there. Maybe you were thinking of Indy? Or the Bears? Those were cakewalks. >>
Indy had a cakewalk winning the superbowl beating the Pats and Ravens, both 12+ win teams. And yes, when you win a division with 9 wins, that's a cakewalk.
Wait! Are they playing the Bucs 12 times!
Dave
<< <i>Eagles are winning the Super Bowl this season. Nothing is going to stop them. Nothing! >>
nothing except McNabb's shabby knees and reid's ridiculously terrible playcalling!
<< <i>Eagles are winning the Super Bowl this season. Nothing is going to stop them. Nothing! >>
I am not too sure which is funnier... Joey thinking the Bucs will do something... or the thought of the Eagles winning the Super Bowl.
As far as the Rams. I see a broken down QB and old tired receivers. S Jax has been so hyped this year there is no way he could come through. Oh and they have
no D.
Philly fan is ready to win rings.....donut and onion rings that is. Reid will lead you there!
JS
PS...Bucs might even go 14-2 or something like that!
<< <i>
<< <i>Eagles are winning the Super Bowl this season. Nothing is going to stop them. Nothing! >>
I am not too sure which is funnier... Joey thinking the Bucs will do something... or the thought of the Eagles winning the Super Bowl. >>
Guess you didn't watch last Friday's preseason game when the Eagles beatup on Carolina like Caroliina was a college team. Eagles can win the Super Bowl even with Feeley as quarterback. Nothing is gonna stop the Eagles this season. Nothing!
<< <i>
Guess you didn't watch last Friday's preseason game when the Eagles beatup on Carolina like Caroliina was a college team. Eagles can win the Super Bowl even with Feeley as quarterback. Nothing is gonna stop the Eagles this season. Nothing! >>
Nothing except those 16 games they gotta play.
<< <i>Listen to Patsies fan, high and mighty cause they know they play the Bills and Fish twice. They know out of division they are nothing. >>
And both the Bills and the Fish had better records than the Bucs
<< <i>
<< <i>Listen to Patsies fan, high and mighty cause they know they play the Bills and Fish twice. They know out of division they are nothing. >>
And both the Bills and the Fish had better records than the Bucs
<< <i>
<< <i>
<< <i>Listen to Patsies fan, high and mighty cause they know they play the Bills and Fish twice. They know out of division they are nothing. >>
And both the Bills and the Fish had better records than the Bucs
There's gonna be a lot of "banging noises" behind Stalin's woodshed this season after almost every Bucs game.
joe stalin = FLAVOR FLAV..........yeahhhhhhh boy
if not he really is a tampa bay and florida state fan
Miami Hurricanes are the only team, i know you are talking about pro football but we have been paying our players for years.
to the super bowl then you can have a chance at payback, but that aint going to happen
...and we all know that in the regular season that Carolina would KILL the Eagles.
JS
<< <i>Hey we have already laid wood to the Patises this year "Philly Style"....(thats kicking a FG at the end to win). What else do you need? If you pansies can get
to the super bowl then you can have a chance at payback, but that aint going to happen
JS >>
Kevin, only you would rejoice in a early pre-season win! I guess you need to take what you can get now because we all know that Caddy will be running on empty and Garcia will be running for his life. Man I dont envy you at all come week one.
Patriots 13-3
Eagles 10-6
YUCS 4-12
David Boston in the endzone!
Im going to borrow something from the cowgirls and that will be the last time...
"This is going to be sick"
JS
<< <i>yeah Garcia was running for his life last week until he threw across his body against the Jags first team defense hitting a wide open
David Boston in the endzone!
Im going to borrow something from the cowgirls and that will be the last time...
"This is going to be sick"
JS >>
Yes but incase you havn't heard Garcia will not be hitting a "wide open David Boston" anytime soon my friend, Mr.Boston will most likely be banned from the NFL after his latest moronic move... Turn on your Yucs radio station they are sure to give you updates.
How come?
Edited Post - to say that's right, its almost September and Phillie fans never have anything to say this time of year.
"If I ever decided to do a book, I've already got the title-The Bases Were Loaded and So Was I"-Jim Fregosi
Meanwhile, the M's continue to roll.
You know, I was rooting for David Boston to make a come back, but then he does this, but thats ok, cause its
GARCIA TO GALLOYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOUCHDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
......and can someone actually bring some smack? TreeTop sounded like he needed to google his response! Bring it or go home!
JS
BTW, Joey, how's Hamel's Cy Young hopes shaping up??
Collecting 1970s Topps baseball wax, rack and cello packs, as well as PCGS graded Half Cents, Large Cents, Two Cent pieces and Three Cent Silver pieces.
Mathis in that Jags game? Poor guy could do nothing but hold him!
I'm really disappointed in the level of smack here. I would expect some laim posts from Eagles or Cowboys fan, but cmon, there has to
be someone here who can defend their team. Cmon!
BUCS BUCS BUCS BUCS BUCS
(that took me just 1 second to type)
JS
Thanks
I don't think that anyone ever claimed that winning preseason games meant anything, but I can assure you that if the pats had won that game vs. the Bucs, you'd have been using it to rub it in joey's face.
CD
JS
<< <i> Those who don't understand that preseason games mean nothing as far as wins-losses are concerned, don't understand the game of NFL football. >>
ABSOLUTLY!!!! And for the record if ANYONE can dig up any thread where I "celebrated" or mocked anyone for my Pats winning a preseason game I will give them my entire card collection.