I'm feeling poetic today--C'mon laurentyvan indulge me

Clankeye

Captain Dixon's Lucky Coin

There was a coin at Flander's Field
Among the bodies strewn
A coin was found with Custer's men
Obscured among the ruin
There was a coin they found at Troy
Gallipolli and Vicksburg
At every battle ever fought
A coin was seen--but not heard
And if that coin could speak to us
We'd hear it's lamentation
"For some I've been the Coin of Death--
For others their salvation."

nwcs

TWO FOUR SIX EIGHT
Darkside coins are really great!
Great meaning large or immense
I use it in the declarative sense!

1jester

Clank, you're the Bard, so you have to come up with the rhymes!!!

Is this the coin of which you speak???

Clankeye

It certainly could be, 1Jester.

But I was actually thinking about the 20 dollar gold piece that Captain Dixon of the confederate submarine Hunley carried with him.

It was actually found in the wreckage of The Hunley.

The coin took a bullet for him in battle, and is actually bent. A bullet that probably would have killed him.

On the back of it he had "My life Preserver" inscribed--and the date that he was shot.

Clankeye

laurentyvan

You're hot tonight Colonel-nice bit of poetry. I won't even attempt to compete as I'm a little under the weather with a headache and going back to bed is all I yearn for.

Clankeye

Sorry to hear you are under the weather, Laurent.

Don't mean it to be a competition. Just like to play with words sometimes. And you are a wordsmith I enjoy.

Get better soon and come back and write the lads a poem!



Clankeye

laurentyvan

A holey ancient story

The coins of history do turn in their graves
Upthrust from earth, from anonymity saved.
Does the soldier not hide what he fears will be lost?
He buries his purse without reckoning cost.

His army defeated, he lies on the field,
Spattered with gore and blood on his shield.
But his denarius are safe and perhaps they’ll survive
To be dug up again if he’s just left alive.

But a sword cuts his throat, the thrust severing his head,
The buried coins now a secret kept by the dead.
The conqueror searches in vain for the treasure
But the coins remain hidden for now, not forever.

2000 years later with a magical wand
LordM detects silver from deep in the ground.
The signal is strong, the direction quite clear,
And LordM unearths a leather-wrapped sphere.

A round purse filled to bursting with silver
Left LordMarcovan feeling aquiver.
He opened and searched for riches untold
And sighed in disgust-not one with a hole.

So he carefully re-buired the bag which he found,
And continues to search for holes in the ground.
Not holes to dig, he’d be quick to attest,
But holes in coins for his hat and his vest.

farthing

Excellent!

MacCrimmon

<< <i>Not holes to dig, he’d be quick to attest,
But holes in coins for his hat and his vest. >>

Clankeye

Bravo!

It has everything--the sweep of history, violence, life, death... and even a Don Quixote like hero, who is on a quest that only makes sense in the realm of his own, somewhat disturbed, fantasy world!

I knew we could count on you, under the weather or not.

I like poetry
I like coins
I like girls with supple loins
I like words that make me think
Intoxicate me like hard drink
I like MacCrimmon's Bagpipe tunes
What do you like?
Tell the room......


Clankeye

Clankeye

Wholly to Lord M

Holey coins? --He had them all
Enough to fill the Albert Hall
But Lord M knew the Biggest Hole
Had to be his final goal
A whole so big his vest and hat
Would disappear inside it's black
A hole so large, so wide a gap
It swallowed him and spit him back
Holes are funny things to chase--
They don't exist in time and space!
Try to grab one, make it sing
You'll find a hole's not anything.

laurentyvan

I like books with twists and turns,
evening campfires and wood to burn.
Beer to drink, to help philosophize;
woodland sex, free from prying eyes.
Sparkling water and sun so bright
it stays up all the livelong night.
Coins that glitter of silver and gold,
of copper and bronze-new or old.
Movies that quicken a slowed-down pulse,
or with miles to go, an uptown bus.
A dog, a fish, MacCrimmons mouse,
a roaring fire lit in a toasty house.
Marshmellows over glowing embers.
the companionship of forum members.
These are just a few of the things I like
along with a perfectly centered strike.

laurentyvan

How big is a hole
or how small can it be.
Can an infinite hole
be filled infinitely?

Should a hole be stretched or
shrunk to pin size
to keep its contents
from prying eyes?

Things go into holes
that we can't discuss
for if we did
the females would diss us.

laurentyvan

A long handled broom for a short handled man

A bit bigger would be nice,
he said to the glass,
which reflected an image
a bit small at the mast.

With a longer...handle,
there's much I could do
with a girl of my choice-
we could bill, we could coo.

I'm too...short for my tastes,
I need a new broom
to sweep more "efficiently"
from my room to her room.

edited to add- the word mushroom was removed from this ditty so as not too offend any innocent readers.

ajaan

My favorite:

There once was a lady from Venus,
Whose head was shaped like a . . .

(Oh never mind).

Clankeye

There once was a lady from Venus?
Ajaan is trying to obscene--us
He's vulgar and rude
And I may be a prude
But, I'm shocked a schoolteacher would be thus


(a reach, I admit)

laurentyvan

Ajaan is a fungus
of multi-colored hue
who changed to an old king
with crown set askew.

No more colors,
in silver he shines.
Robed and bedecked,
saying thee, thou, and thine.

Clankeye

Ajaan? The one who's a fixture?
But, can't seem to load up a picture?
The one who's a Shroom?
The Big Shroom of Gloom?
Who's scales would shock even Richter?

lordmarcovan

Its plain to see there's sparkling wit
Within these posts (at least a bit!)

Alas, I've dug no Draped Bust dimes,
But I was quite flattered by your rhymes.

laurentyvan

The following was received unsigned, spattered with mud from a couriers horse.

"My dear Colonel Clankeye, would that I not be writing this; know that you are the seed of my destruction, as I am ostracized by all due to your cruel wit and falsehoods, spread without regard for the truth and with malice aforethought.

I was once a society woman, proud of her station, with responsibility and influence. I am now but a drab, forced to work with chapped hands and blousy hair as a washer woman. I rise at dawn and work until the days light has faded and am then dismissed to walk home, subject to the catcalls of the vulger riffraff on the street. If you had any decency you would rescue me from this vile life I find myself in.

Unsigned but not unfamliiar to you..."

Clankeye

By God! It's that... uh... mmm... what's-her-name-woman!

Dear lady, so pleased to hear you have found employment in life suitable to your station!

Many of the woman such as yourself who used to follow the camps are too old now to gain sustenance from the bossom of their youth which once supported them!

Bully to you! I say for the good service you have provided the soldiers in the past--and I'm sure gentlemen of the leisure class in the future. At least until gravity sets in!

You are a marvel to me, dear woman. And if I were not so unusually strapped for change, I would seek you out again forthwith!

With Admiration,

Colonel Cornelius Clankeye

laurentyvan

God's blood but you are a pox on this earth! A craven coward, masquerading behind rank; too full of himself to treat a woman decently.
I ask, nay- I entreat you to come to my succor.
For I have in my possession a letter, detailing circumstances so odious I hesitate to mention them to anyone. They concern you and an affair you had with a red-headed wench of dubious moral character. When you'd had your fill of her, you tossed her away like the husk of an ear of corn and let your troops take their liberty with her. She has scarce spoken since that day and I find her in my care, unspeaking, unseeing, a wretched, gangrel thing.
Take us under your protection Colonel, and I will do my best to forget the past. It is the least you owe me. If not, I must release this letter to the authorities, who may not treat the matter so lightly as you presume.

I sign this as I am now known,

Sally, a washerwoman.

Clankeye

Sally! By God! A saucey name for a wench, and a washerwoman to boot!

I'd be yearning for a churning in your washbasin given half the chance--I can tell you that madame!

But, present circumstances dictate that I politely decline the invitation of your company and simply wish you the best with a Hey-Ho-Hiddy-Oh!

For you see, The Surgeon has informed me I waited too long to treat the gift you left to me in passion's labor. And he, who is me, with a mind as sound as the bell of a cannon now finds that the world can be a murky place indeed!

Dear lady, Dear lady!! Soldier on! Spread your joy for all to piliage! As for me, shed no tears! For old soldiers never die... they simply collect coins and then they are only half dead!

Avior, mon cheri! L'amour avec moi!

Colonel Cornelius Clankeye

Clankeye

Dear Miss Sally,

My name is Pip, I am the nephew of Colonel Clankeye.

I write you because the Colonel is a bit off his crumpet these days.

Ever since we found him parading in Trafalger Square with a ladies undergarment on his head, he has been quite incorrigible. We try to keep him away from the Post and the quill, but as you can see--with mixed results.

Please press no charges, and accept our apologies.

On an unrelated note, I am on the brink of manhood and would like to confirm you may actually be found at this address.

Yours,

Pip

1jester

Oh goodness! Not this again!!!

I laughed so hard for so long my facial muscles and stomach are killing me!!!

laurentyvan

You are the fruit of the loins of a relation to a man I detest. I can only accomodate you if you serve my purpose, and serve it you will.

Come young lion, young goat, you randy thing; I will teach you to appreciate the velvet folds which encompass and caress. If you have never been with a real woman, I will educate you as to the refinements and postures and positions which I am sure your Uncle is unfamiliar with.

If memory serves correct, your uncle had the stamina necessary for a 2 minute excursion-nothing better.

I can be found at the address you mention.

I would appreciate the return of the undergarment referred to- it was of the finest imported silk... Sally

Clankeye

Dear Miss Sally,

You have no idea the excitment your letter has caused here at the school!

Would it be improper to ask if my classmates Roger, Nigel and Snake be allowed to come with?

Yours,

Pip

PS: I cannot return the undergarment you asked about as it is on holiday with Ralphy Turnbull.