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"Good Morning Class" Part 2 - Journey to the Kingdom of Sleep

ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
in U.S. Coin Forum
King ArtR and his Knights arrive at The Bridge of Yore Gonna PayPal. The Bridge Keeper will not let them pass. He is fat and odious--an ancestor of Christopher of Farley

Bridge Keeper: You who would cross here must answer questions three--or be cast into the malestrom below!
Sir DCAM Franklin: (to ArtR) let me your Majesty! (riding forth) Ask your questions you petrid pile of PayPalian pus!
Bridge Keeper: Whhhaaat!... Is your name?
Sir DCAM Franklin: Sir DCAM Franklin!
Bridge Keeper: Whhhhaaaat!... Is your quest?
Sir DCAM Franklin: To harass the Earl of Compucheap!
Bridge Keeper: Whhhaaaaat!... is your eBay seller ID?
Sir DCAM Franklin: I won't answer that! AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
DCAM is flung into the abyss. Screaming like a wee lass.
Sir Southernbelle: I will go, Majesty!
King ArtR: Good man, Southernbelle!
Bridge Keeper: Whhaaaat!... is your name?
Sir Southernbelle: (baritone) Southernbelle!
Bridge Keeper: Whhhaaaat!... is your quest?
Sir Southernbelle: To grow a full beard!
Bridge Keeper: Whhhaaaat!.. is your gender?
Sir Southernbelle: (haughty) Man--you dolt! I mean-I mean wo-man!!!-- AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!

King ArtR steps up to the Bridge Keeper-

King ArtR: I am King ArtR of Coinalot!
Bridge Keeper: Whhhaaaaaat!... Is your quest?
King ArtR: To retrieve my Knights from The Kingdom of Sleep!
Bridge Keeper: Whhaaaaat!... is your Collector's Universe password?
King ArtR: Which one?
Bridge Keeper: (disturbed) Huh???!!
King ArtR: Which one, Knave? The Royal Account, or the one I trolleth with? Speak up, dog!
Bridge Keeper: (confused) I... I... uh...
King ArtR: I suppose you would like to know, so that you would use my account--and next thing I would find myself back in Coinalot with pictures of Fat Elvis' with rudely defined testicular packages hanging from every turret! All posted under my banner! I ask again! WHICH ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bridge Keeper: (holding head) I DON'T KNOW!!!!! AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Sir Rotts: (looking down) Plonk.
King ArtR: Right. Let's move on!

King ArtR and his Knights are in the deep forest. Suddenly their way is blocked by a rag-tag assembly of forest hoodlums who look as if they were recently exiled from a leper colony

Forest Hoodlum: STOP! (puffing himself up) WE!... are THE GRADERS WHO CHARGE FEES!!! No one may pass but that we grade their coinage! For a fee... of course.
Sir DMWJR: Stand down, base man! We grade our own coins!
Sir dddangerousdan: You take our coins, tell us what they're worth, and we pay you for the privilege?
The Grader: In a nutshell.
King ArtR: BY THE GODS!
Sir RKfish: 'Tis highway robbery!
Sir Cam40: We grade our own coins, you SCUMBAGS!
--Silence--
Friar Numbori: What's wrong, Majesty?
King ArtR: (wistful) For a moment, I was reminded of the fallen Marguli...
The Grader: If you can grade yourselves--show us! Grade this Frankie!!!!!! (he holds the coin aloft) Otherwise, you must pay!

The Knights and King ArtR look frantically at each other

King ArtR: Why that is easy! A child could do it! (looking about) Archbishop of Coinguy1! Grade the Frankie!
The Archbishop: (whispering) I cannot, your Majesty! I can only grade from a scan! I know not Franklin halves!
King ArtR: (under his breath) Grade it or perish!
The Archbishop: (straightening himself) Well... yes... this is an easy one. Looking at the coin... it is obvious that it grades... BE BOP A-LULA!
The Grader: Be Bop A-Lula?
King ArtR: Just so!
The Grader: We have not heard of such a grade!
King ArtR: Then I would suggest you cannot see the forest for the trees, and you are not graders at all!
Sir Stman: (contemptuous) How many coins have you fingerprinted--you Graders Who Charge Fees?
The Grader: Why... why... NONE!
Sir Stman: He is a FRAUD your Majesty! All graders who charge fees fingerprint coins!
The Grader: (aghast) 'Tis a lie! Every coin is wiped with fine forest moss before placed in a mushroom cap and returned to thee!
Karl of Dork: Let us bodybag these Graders Who Charge Fees, your Highness. T'would be sweet revenge!
King ArtR: (thinking) No. It would be too easy. Oh, Graders Who Charge Fees... Hear me! We have with us seventeen trunkload of State Quarters. You may grade them all for us!
--Silence--
The Archbishop of Coinguy1: Look your, Majesty! The Graders flee as if pursued by rabid dogs! (turning to ArtR) Your Majesty?
King ArtR: (scowling) Be Bop A-Lula? We're lucky we weren't killed!
The Archbishop: Sorry, Majesty. If it had been a scan--
King ArtR: Silence!

King ArtR turns to his Knights

King ArtR: The road to The Kingdom of Sleep is now clear! ONWARD TO VICTORY!!!!!

All: (swords raised) BUWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!

Squire Airplanenut: How cooleth!
Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
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Comments

  • LucyBopLucyBop Posts: 14,001 ✭✭✭
    Be Bop A Lula!!!
    imageBe Bop A Lula!!
    "Senorita HepKitty"
    "I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
  • nwcsnwcs Posts: 13,386 ✭✭✭
    Their slabs will line the road to their doom...
    Blog and Pics
  • PhillyJoePhillyJoe Posts: 2,702 ✭✭✭✭
    I don't know how you keep doing it and keeping it fresh, but it gets better and better. You are a disturbed individual and I applaud you for your work. image

    "I only grade from a scan" - classic!

    Joe
    The Philadelphia Mint: making coins since 1792. We make money by making money. Now in our 225th year thanks to no competition. image
  • cdmeadcdmead Posts: 121
    Ni!

    As long as the Kingdom of Sleep doesn't contain a castle of French who look suspiciously like John Cleese...... image

    Keep up the good work, Clank image
    There's nothing in the rule book that says an elephant can't pitch.

    image
  • zennyzenny Posts: 1,547 ✭✭
    edited at Clank's request, to reflect his edit.

    nevermind, although i thought it the usual funny, especially as originally written.

    to think I may have caused someone to censor their own work, aaaiiiiiieeeeeyyyyy

    off with mine own head!!!!!

    my apologies

    z
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    At this point I must acknowledge a deep debt to Monty Python and The Holy Grail. In other words-- I steal from them. To this group of esteemed comedians my humble apologies.

    "you are a disturbed individual" --high praise, indeed! I thank you sincerely for that.

    Clankeye
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • GTOsterGTOster Posts: 866 ✭✭✭
    Clank
    I thank you for that now I have soda all over my keyboard and screen I should know by now not to drink anything while reading your posts what a nut you truly are
    Keep up the great work
    Now to clean up this mess
    Paul
    My E-Bay Auctions
    image
  • PhillyJoePhillyJoe Posts: 2,702 ✭✭✭✭
    I've been a Python fan since 1969/70. Like everything else in life you either get it or you don't. I always got it and still do. Your bridge scene is one of many classics. When someone mentions something has died, I break into my "parrot" routine no matter where I am. I've used "by the gods" recently at work and I get all kinds of looks. My wife usually pretends she doesn't know me; she's one of the ones that don't get it. Tonight I'll ask her "Whaaaaat is your favorite color?" She used to think I was disturbed, I think I've removed all doubt.

    Keep up the good work.

    Joe
    The Philadelphia Mint: making coins since 1792. We make money by making money. Now in our 225th year thanks to no competition. image
  • coinguy1coinguy1 Posts: 13,484 ✭✭✭
    Clankeye, my gut hurts from my repeated laughing - thanks for the pain.image So very well done, as always!
  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    We are indeed blessed, two parts of the tale in the same week.

    Whaaatttttt a pleasent suprise.
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • stmanstman Posts: 11,352 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hey I made it in one of these. But I would like to add my gut feeling tells me many many coins with prints, (which a great deal of coins out there have them ) Are there from being cracked out by people that don't handle them right. Then they show up later and the graders or the company are blamed for it, JMO
    Please... Save The Stories, Just Answer My Questions, And Tell Me How Much!!!!!
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Zenny--

    You didn't make me edit it--just make it a wee bit more palatable hopefully.

    Sometimes thinking twice is better than the once over.

    Carl
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • RegistryCoinRegistryCoin Posts: 5,117 ✭✭✭✭
    Was it a FULL Be Bop A Lula?
    Terrific, Clank. Thank you, again!
  • marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Just took a peek, and lo, by the gods, part II from Carl (clankeye) image , and not a minute to soon.

    A stressful day so far has been humerously corrected and I'm back in my chair in one piece ready to declare to my clients that better rate they were just quoted from that other mortgage broker is a farce and a petrid pile of PayPalian pus !

    Carl they keep getting better, I can't believe you come up with this stuff weekly sheez.

    Poor Mark, He's gonna eat that no scan thread for a long time. I can't stop cracking up someone kick me!

    Thanks

    Marc
  • coinguy1coinguy1 Posts: 13,484 ✭✭✭
    Marc - here's your kickimage I love it!
  • cosmicdebriscosmicdebris Posts: 12,332 ✭✭✭
    Excellant as usual so when do we get to lobb of the limbs of the Black Night?
    Bill

    image

    09/07/2006
  • PhillyJoePhillyJoe Posts: 2,702 ✭✭✭✭
    "It's just a flesh wound!"
    The Philadelphia Mint: making coins since 1792. We make money by making money. Now in our 225th year thanks to no competition. image
  • cosmicdebriscosmicdebris Posts: 12,332 ✭✭✭
    image
    Bill

    image

    09/07/2006
  • DCAMFranklinDCAMFranklin Posts: 2,862 ✭✭
    In the words of Terminator, "I'll be back."

    Another great job, Clank. Keep 'em coming. image
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Bill--

    You've done it again! I am cracking up. Christopher of Farley-- The Keeper of The Bridge of Yore Gonna Paypal.

    I also do believe from that photo he can be traced as a relative to Lord Marcovan too.


    DCAM--

    I am pleased you have a sense of humor about being sent up (or down in this case), a tip of the hat to you.

    Carl
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • mdwoodsmdwoods Posts: 5,549 ✭✭✭
    Greateth job oh worthy scribe. Thou hast outdoneth thyself.
    National Register Of Big Trees

    We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
  • marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
    OUCHimage



    I'm fine now, thanks mark!!
  • smprfismprfi Posts: 874 ✭
    Hey bear two stories and you were not shot.I would watch out,I think he is setting you up for a stuffing.

    I love your stories clankeye,thanks.
    My Ebay Auctions
  • wingedlibertywingedliberty Posts: 4,805 ✭✭✭
    Very well done.


    Brian.
  • dpooledpoole Posts: 5,940 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Beware of the Acurabbit with sharp teeth!! Bwaahaaahaaa!!

    Great job, Clank!

    Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...



  • Cam40Cam40 Posts: 8,146 ✭
    I laughed harded from this episode than any other so far I think.
    Just when you think Carl has topped himself he pulls out another rabbit from the hat.
    Wow.Another terrific job Sir Clankeye.
    Also,Thanks for the pencil job too.You nailed my character.
    Are you pychic? hehe

    Btw,I,m a huge fan of the old Python films and skits.This makes these reads so enjoyable for me personally.

    Life of Brian,Holy Grail,and Jabberwocky are my all-time favs.

    .............And now?
    For something completely different.
    A man with two Bust......Halfs....

    So.You actually have two....eh,bust do you?
    ............wank.


  • AskariAskari Posts: 3,713 ✭
    LOL!!! As good a ripoff of Monty Python as I've ever read!! imageimage
    Askari



    Come on over ... to The Dark Side! image
  • ursabearursabear Posts: 1,888
    Where's Bear? (literally and figuratively) has anyone heard from him?
  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    Ursa Bear - My little bear paws are padding around.image
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • JLWJLW Posts: 583


    << <i>Where's Bear? (literally and figuratively) has anyone heard from him? >>


    Good question Jimmy, it was posed yesterday I believe. I'm not here nearly as much since the witch-burnings began a week or so ago. (Along with the fact that I've returned to the workforce after a year-long hiatus, got kind of bored I guess!) Carl, you are still in top form, read both of your installments this week, I'm going to have to do something crazy to get in one again, had a line in one a few months ago and will do it again so help me Homerunhall!
    Joe
  • JLWJLW Posts: 583
    Hail Bear,
    Long live the Bear!
    Joe
  • AndroidAndroid Posts: 726 ✭
    Sir Southernbelle.....

    BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Are the trees in the forest Larches?? image

    Andy image
    We are finite beings, limited in all our powers, and, hence, our conclusions are not only relative, but they should ever be held subject to correction. Positive assurance is unattainable. The dogmatist is the only one who claims to possess absolute certainty.

    First POTD 9/19/05!!

  • CoinosaurusCoinosaurus Posts: 9,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Clank-

    Beautiful stuff. If I ran a numismatic periodical I way pay you to stop posting here and only write for MY magazine image
    Newman Numismatic Portal, www.NewmanPortal.org
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    There have been various Bear sightings of late. In the forest, the mighty forest, the Bear sleeps tonight... following ArtR and his Knights from a safe distance, ready to join in the coming fray.

    Yes. I concur, Long Live Bear!

    Clankeye
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • DMWJRDMWJR Posts: 6,011 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Whaa Whaa Whaa! 'Tis that the European swallowtail? (*poof!*)
    Doug
  • DCAMFranklinDCAMFranklin Posts: 2,862 ✭✭
    Clank- Please tell me Sir DCAMFranklin's armor hung up on an outreaching branch and he was able to claw his way out of the abyss?? After all, he is quite happy with increased level of civility in the kingdom. image
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Bear always comes back, DCAM. I think it highly likely you survived the fall. image

    Clankeye
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • BearBear Posts: 18,953 ✭✭✭
    All hail DCam Franklinimage
    There once was a place called
    Camelotimage
  • numobrinumobri Posts: 1,473 ✭✭✭

    Another great story.THANKS Clankeye.

    Mybe if i hang around long enought,i'll get a Double edge sword.

    Nice job.
    NUMO
  • DCAMFranklinDCAMFranklin Posts: 2,862 ✭✭
    Well Clank & Bear, with those kinds of assurances, though I've never been a fan of dessert, I guess I can settle back and enjoy a nice strawberry jelly donut. Then off to catch a little rest. image
  • dorkkarldorkkarl Posts: 12,691 ✭✭✭
    hey clankeye, i thank-ye for the cameo appearance! first-rate, absolutely top-notch!!! image

    K S
  • GilbertGilbert Posts: 1,533 ✭✭✭
    Well done again, Clankster

    Can't wait until we actually brooch (?) the Kingdom of Sleep. I hope I can finagle my way into a part. image
    Gilbert
  • ursabearursabear Posts: 1,888
    Whew, Bear, Glad you're about and around.

    Clankeye, I still think these are publish-able. image

    Big bear
  • marcmoishmarcmoish Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Carl,

    This is insane, I've re-read this installment twice again yet today , and keep coming up with parts understood better the day after, gosh this stuff is dangerously addictiveimage




    Marc


  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Thanks, Marc. I really appreciate the good feedback. Coinosaurous, Urabear, JLW, Numbori... oh man, so many of you. Sincerely, thanks for the good words. It means a lot to me.

    Carl
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • ccrdragonccrdragon Posts: 2,697 ✭
    I'm still laughing over this one, Sir Clank! These just keep getting better and better!
    Cecil
    Total Copper Nutcase - African, British Ships, Channel Islands!!!
    'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup'
  • CoiniacCoiniac Posts: 52
    "Coinalot..!"

    "COINALOT!"

    "Coinalot"!

    "It's only a forum."

    "Shh!"

    "Knights, I bid you welcome to..."

    GREAT JOB CLANK!
    Trying to put together a U.S. type set
  • SouthernBelleSouthernBelle Posts: 57
    Just found this - I'm kind of slow sometimes.


    << <i>Sir Southernbelle: (baritone) Southernbelle!
    Sir Southernbelle: To grow a full beard! >>



    Sir Clankeye, your writings are very funny, as usual, and I'm honored to have been included (but the correct appellation is Lady Southernbelle). Also, just for the record, I have no desire to grow a beard - really. image

    image

    No matter what your views on the war, please support our troops, they are the true patriots.
  • ClankeyeClankeye Posts: 3,928 ✭
    Scribe Clankeye: (bowing at the waist) My humble apologies, sir!




    You're a good sport, Lady Southernbelle. image

    Carl
    Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
  • SouthernBelleSouthernBelle Posts: 57


    << <i>You're a good sport, Lady Southernbelle. >>



    Your writings bring you honor, both for your wit and your powers of observation. My apologies for being so late with the "Thank you", I don't how how I missed this gem.
    .
    But please, if you ever so honor me again, I would most appreciate Lady SB. image

    No matter what your views on the war, please support our troops, they are the true patriots.

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