"What a person owns is a manifestation of their knowledge and taste."
ANACONDA
Posts: 4,692 ✭
This is essentially a continuation of a topic that has been 'hot' lately.
When someone shows an image of a coin, and someone criticizes it without being invited to do so, as i have posted before, i don't like
it.
I don't like it when someone else's coin gets uninvited criticism and i don't like it when someone criticizes a coin i've posted. (And i never ask for criticism, although i get it every time.)
Why? Because what a person owns is a manifestation of their knowledge and taste. When you say a particular coin is "junk" (or
whatever) you indirectly state your beliefs that the owner isn't as smart as you (at least with regard to that coin) or has bad taste.
Maybe you can fool yourself into thinking "i'm only commenting on the coin" but the very truth of the matter is, you are commenting on
the other person.
It's not the end of the world when somone slams a coin, but why would you want to needlessly hurt somone's feelings?
Yes, critisizing a coin can accomplish several objectives. It can make you look like you know what you're talking about. It can educate others about the nuances of beauty and desirability that are germane to a particular coin or series.
But, these objectives can be accomplished much more effectively in other ways.
Now, lest you think i'm too thinned skinned and this post is made because i "can't handle it", rest assured, i can handle it. I was born and raised in New Jersey in a rich neighborhood and i was relatively poor. I'm a personal injury lawyer, a coin dealer and a guy who likes snakes. Trust me, i am skin to the bone and can handle it.
"Then why post this?" Because i like this place and any simple thing i can do to make it a better place is a worthy objective.
Do we need somebody to act as a monitor for needlessly hurtful posts? I think not. We can govern ourselves.
Just my thoughts.
adrian
When someone shows an image of a coin, and someone criticizes it without being invited to do so, as i have posted before, i don't like
it.
I don't like it when someone else's coin gets uninvited criticism and i don't like it when someone criticizes a coin i've posted. (And i never ask for criticism, although i get it every time.)
Why? Because what a person owns is a manifestation of their knowledge and taste. When you say a particular coin is "junk" (or
whatever) you indirectly state your beliefs that the owner isn't as smart as you (at least with regard to that coin) or has bad taste.
Maybe you can fool yourself into thinking "i'm only commenting on the coin" but the very truth of the matter is, you are commenting on
the other person.
It's not the end of the world when somone slams a coin, but why would you want to needlessly hurt somone's feelings?
Yes, critisizing a coin can accomplish several objectives. It can make you look like you know what you're talking about. It can educate others about the nuances of beauty and desirability that are germane to a particular coin or series.
But, these objectives can be accomplished much more effectively in other ways.
Now, lest you think i'm too thinned skinned and this post is made because i "can't handle it", rest assured, i can handle it. I was born and raised in New Jersey in a rich neighborhood and i was relatively poor. I'm a personal injury lawyer, a coin dealer and a guy who likes snakes. Trust me, i am skin to the bone and can handle it.
"Then why post this?" Because i like this place and any simple thing i can do to make it a better place is a worthy objective.
Do we need somebody to act as a monitor for needlessly hurtful posts? I think not. We can govern ourselves.
Just my thoughts.
adrian
0
Comments
NEVER LET HIPPO MOUTH OVERLOAD HUMMINGBIRD BUTT!!!
WORK HARDER!!!!
Millions on WELFARE depend on you!
<< <i> Because what a person owns is a manifestation of their knowledge and taste. >>
Posting coins to the forum also says other things about the poster, but perhaps that is best addressed in a psychology forum?
And wouldn't you think that it might also be a manifestation of their reality? If I could, I'd post pictures of my 1955 DDO, in PCGS MS66RD. Only problem is, I don't own one. While my knowledge and taste can certainly accommodate it, my checkbook cannot.
Sweeping generalizations are fairly dangerous counselor, as I'm sure you're already aware.
Jersey??? What exit???
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman
<< <i>Jersey??? What exit??? >>
Having had the good fortune to be born and raised at the only place where they cross, I have two answers:
125 or 10 depending on the thoroughfare.
how about you?
my comments were (pertinent to the coin, not the girl)
<< <i>anaconda, i personally do not like the looks of that quarter. but if you do, GREAT!
baley, if it were my coin, i'd be happy. but i'd immediately crack it out, catalog it is ms-63, & leave it in an album to gently retone.
i love the coin, i do not like it's look.
the grade for me would be, yes, ms-63.
that's to put it in proper perspective in comparison to other coins.
the prices you quote sound like something out of a priceguide. the actual value should be determined by the open market! >>
honestly, if these offended, then i ought to correct the way i respond to your threads.
K S
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman
So I think if someone makes a post, other people should express their feelings about the post.
Of course, there are tactful ways of communicating, and there are tactless ways of communicating.
I'm sure if some here posted in the crudest way possible their true thoughts about Stephanie, for example, they're a lout, the post would get censored, and the member might even get banned!
As another example, in the thread about the 1815 quarter, some of us tried to find out exactly what others meant when they criticized the coin and it's holder. Obviously, to call it Junk or Trash is as literally inaccurate as calling a dishonest businessman a "scumbag", since it is a human being they are referring to, albeit an unethical one when it comes to trading a commodity, not an actual Bag of Scum. They use a common expression as shorthand for what they mean, at the cost of accuracy, and delicacy.
But you know what, people post what they want, and I would add another idea to your quote,
"What a person owns is a manifestation of their knowledge and taste."
and that would be
What a person offers as their thoughts is a manifestation of their knowledge and taste"
sure, some people like to offer a cute one liner, like "hubba hubba" or "bebop a lula" or OMG!
and others go for "yuck" or "blah" or whatever, but I find the longer posts are usually the best ones, in terms of being well reasoned and fairly detailed.
Liberty: Parent of Science & Industry
It happens so often that if i were to keep track, my cranial hard drive would be full.
I want to be able to recall mental images of beautiful coins, curency and girls, not who slammed me.
But, in direct response to your question of: "did you consider my comments inappropriate" ....yes but only because i didn't ask for criticism.
Your comments on a an "inappropriateness" scale of 1 to 10, ten being "that coin is junk and you don't have a clue" your comment was a 1.75; you framed it as your opinion and i would have to say, i was essentially not miffed.
I grew up in Colts Neck, New Jersey. Colts Neck is the town immediately next to Lincroft. Lincroft is where Laura and George of Legend are.
It is a beautiful area. Full of Revolutionary War history. I have eaten in restaurants that date back to the seventeen and eighteen hundreds.
I actually grew up in a rural area. I'll see if i can post a picture of what my home looked like that i grew up in. I think you will enjoy seeing it.
adrian
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
bad assumption on my part
K S
<< <i>I grew up in Colts Neck, New Jersey. >>
Earle !!!! Naval Weapons Station.....one of our "favorite" homeports...
btw, is it for sale? willing to take you out of your misery of owning that FOUL GARBAGE!!
Liberty: Parent of Science & Industry
yes - I'm just ribbing you.
With all due respect however, I submit that what a person owns is more a matter of personal taste, economics, and choice.
I drive a 13-year-old 4x4. Why? Not because I can't buy a BMW - but because it's paid-for, and I like the truck. It has icky moss and crap actually growing on it, and it looks like sh1t. Why? Not because I can't wash it - but because it doesn't get stolen much. Now some would judge me by the truck - and they're welcome to... What they can't see is the totally rebuilt suspension with urethane bushings, Rancho shocks, Recaro seats. Do I care? Nope.
I guess my point is that some people will engage in snobbery over practically anything. Rolex watches, Nikon cameras, Lexus cars, etc. They need these things in order to feel better about themselves. I'd also submit that for those that make judgements based on what you own - is more a manifestation of the judger's lack of self-esteem than the judgee's taste.
Of the people that I know that are truly wealthy... not "wannabes" who live paycheck-to-paycheck whilst keeping up with the Jones -- most wear old jeans, drive nasty old beater cars and you'd never know their true economic condition. Generally there's a good reason for that. As soon as people find out you have money - you find out you had "friends" you never knew you had. Everyone's motives become suspect.
Anyway - I must disagree with your assessment. It's entirely possible to have knowledge and taste without having expensive or ultra-rare material possessions. Conversely, it's entirely possible to have expensive and ultra-rare material possessions and not be possessed of knowledge OR taste.
I do however agree that it's entirely unnecessary to slam an individual because of a coin. The kid (or adult) who finds what to him / or her - is a 'gem', is just as entitled to feel great about it as someone who scores a million-dollar coin. That's the beauty of the hobby. There's something for everyone, and everyone can play! I'm not sure I've solved anything, or torqued anyone off. I don't think I was after doing either - just lending my jeans-wearing-old-pickup-truck driving 2-cents worth.
<< <i>hey lucybop, that's a pretty nice half dollar, if you ignore the HUGE GASH to the left of pass and stow and the GIANT CHASM on the left part of the bell support, and the TITANIC CRATERS in the left field, as well as the UGLY TARNISH and CORROSION that is ROTTING its surfaces.
>>
Yea, and how about those UGLY DISTRACTING lines that go all the way across the bottom of the bell.
Hey, isn't that bell CRACKED too?
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
You gotta expect a little criticism. If you did grow up poor in New Jersey, as I did, then a comment about one of your coins shouldn't really create this type of response.
Michael
Nikon?!?!
What? Can't afford a Leica???
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman
but - I get dandy images from my $100 Ricoh.
Now, how's about some more pictures of your assistant?
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman
and intellectual acuity. Also what a person says and writes and does also reflect on that
persons character knowlege and taste. You notice I did not say dress, because if Mrs bear did
not put my cloths out every morning, I would wear blue jeans the rest of my life. As for criticism,
I personnaly would never offer it unless my opinion was asked for. There is a tendency, pehaps without
conscious thought or knowledge,
among some people, to pull down those indeviduals who represent status or who occupy a position
of perceived prestige. You by the very nature of the coins you deal with fall into one or both of those
catagories. There may be some of the mentality of "If I cant afford to buy the coin then at least
I can criticize the heck out of it." These objections can take the familiar chant of dont like the toning,
overgraded, too expensive, picture placed on wrong Forum. While my tasts in what constitutes a
personal favorate may differ from other people, I can still enjoy the sight of superb coins on this
Forum. I view it more as a service to the eye, then an attempt to gain a sales advantage. When one
becomes a leader in a certain portion of the coin industry, criticism is just one of the prices paid
for fame and glory.What really matters is how we view our selves, our actions, our principles and
our own integrety in conducting our lives and our bussiness. Regards Bear
(Edited for spelling)
Camelot
Just because joblo criticized your 1815 we don't think any less of you.
whatever) you indirectly state your beliefs that the owner isn't as smart as you (at least with regard to that coin) or has bad taste.
Maybe you can fool yourself into thinking "i'm only commenting on the coin" but the very truth of the matter is, you are commenting on
the other person
Exactly what I think. If the person knows what they have purchased, and they are not a newbie asking for an opinion, what is to be gained by criticism. That's like walking up to someone in a parking lot and criticizing their car. Common sense tells you not to do it. Good job Adrian. mdwoods
We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
<< <i>I don't like it when someone else's coin gets uninvited criticism and i don't like it when someone criticizes a coin i've posted. (And i never ask for criticism, although i get it every time.) >>
Does this mean that no one should offer praise either ... unless it's solicited? If so, then what's the purpose of posting pics? Solely a sales advertisement? Then doesn't it belong on the B/S/T Coins board? Posting a pic is pretty much an invitation to comment on it.
I think your real gripe, Adrian, is about the "naturedness" of the comments. No one is offended by praise nor even by Baley's good-natured "criticism" of HepKitty's Franklin. It's when it goes below the belt and get mean-spirited, putting down the owner: "When you say a particular coin is "junk" (or whatever) you indirectly state your beliefs that the owner isn't as smart as you (at least with regard to that coin) or has bad taste."
What we collect is indeed a reflection of our knowledge, interests, and tastes. One of the things that can make this forum really tiresome at times is when degrading the coin or a type of coin or a period of issuance becomes a "death sport." The WMD flung between "classic" and "modern" collectors is a case in point. The debates over whether the high premiums garnered by grade-scarce modern coins is a legitimate debate that only time will answer. The nastiness that all too frequently arises in these and related debates often gets intensely personal and that's where it's going wrong.
Different people are drawn to different challenges. I personally find SusieB's to be quite unappealing, but I can understand why some are drawn to collect them. They are not only a part of US numismatic history, but there are some real numismatic challenges to collecting them. Assembling a top Registry-quality collection is something to be applauded and cheered, not denigrated. Ironically, some of the debates that generate the most heat and least light involve the vaguest and artificial of differences. Over on the Dark Side, we've had our own debates over where to draw the classical vs. modern line ... but it spans centuries, not decades.
I frankly believe that if you post a coin pic, you're inviting comments -- but those proffering comments should consider themselves to be in the house of their host and act accordingly. If you don't like the host or what he or she has to offer, then go to another party.
Cheers!
Askari
Come on over ... to The Dark Side!
When someone posts a picture of an overgraded, unattractively toned or dipped out coin and expects kudos from the board members, are they being helped or hurt by false praise?
Mark Feldman recently ran a thread on this very point. It can be difficult to tactfully suggest to someone that their newp may not be as great as they may believe, especially if you are sensitive to the feelings of others (yes Adrian some of us are, even if you think us to be pitiful wimps). But part of the purpose of this forum is education. People learn or should learn from their mistakes, so that those mistakes are not repeated. But if they are not given guidance, they may never realize their error.
Of course there is no accounting for poor taste. And there is nothing wrong with someone buying something because they like it. I think David Bowers once said that that is the best reason to buy something. But you should know what you are buying. If you know that the coin is over-graded, or market graded rather than technically graded, and that you may be overpaying for it, but you just flat out WANT it any way, fine, go ahead and buy it. That is your prerogative, and I would add an educated decision, even if not a financially prudent one. After all coin collecting is at least a bit frivolous.
The issue is whether you realize that it may be difficult to resell the coin at anything near what you paid.
CG
But...
Let's be honest here. Yes, part of the reason you post your coin pictures here is to share with us. I commend you for that. But, another part of it is to expose the coins to the buyers. And for that, you have to accept the fact that criticism of the coin is going to happen - even if for that particular coin the first reason was 100% of why you posted it. It simply comes with the territory.
Perhaps if you prefaced each coin picture with a title stating whether or not you owned the coin or it was on consignment and whether or not it was for sale or part of your personal collection? A coin you owned that was part of your personal collection would probably not receive criticism. But, how can you be personally offended if a coin you have on consigment and for sale is criticized? How are we to know which instance is which?
And, btw, I love that 1876 twenty cent piece, the coin is a stunner. The only issue I have is your auction description that describes it as flawless when it is not. There are planchet, die or hair lines under the toning in the right obverse field. You either are ignoring this fact (and thus in effect misleading a potential buyer) or have not inspected the coin to the extent necessary to put forth an informed opinion. I really think you should fix this.........
.....True...and to put my links that appear in my posts in front of people.
"you have to accept the fact that criticism of the coin is going to happen"
.....I do. I also accept that i'm going to die but i still try to watch what i eat and i take Geritol.
"Perhaps if you prefaced each coin picture with a title stating whether or not you owned the coin"
.....I concluded that prefacing each coin with my relationship to it would be more hucksterizing than just posting photos of it. I'll rethink that.
"how can you be personally offended if a coin you have on consigment and for sale is criticized? How are we to know which instance is which?"
.....For whatever it's worth, right now i am in possession of no coins that belong to someone else. If you adopt my strategm for criticizing coins, you don't need to know what's up with the coin. (Give criticism when it's asked for.)
"The only issue I have is your auction description that describes it as flawless when it is not. There are planchet, die or hair lines under
the toning in the right obverse field. You either are ignoring this fact (and thus in effect misleading a potential buyer) or have not inspected
the coin to the extent necessary to put forth an informed opinion. I really think you should fix this........."
.....The "flaws" as you call them are visible in the scans. I didn't pay them much attentioin when i listed the coin. If memory serves me
correctly, they are disruptions in the toning.
They are visible in the scans. To point out "flaws" that are visible in the scans seems redundant. "A picture speaks a thousand words."
Proof 68 means it's not perfect. Are there people buying $65,000 coins that expect a Proof 68 coin to be perfect? I have a 7 day no
questions asked return privilege and i reimburse postage for returns when requested. In part my descriptioin reads: "This particular
piece is conditionally almost perfect. " ALMOST perfect. I have removed "I could find no hairlines or other blemishes even with the aid
of magnification" not because it's wrong but because the removal makes the description better for all concerned. Incidentally, i do not
have this coin with me right now. I will revisit it and if i remember, i will tell you if my recollection is correct with regard to the "flaws."
adrian
Now it does become easier with some of the posters because either their agenda is transparent from previous posts or their previous reaction and ongoing personal battle with the poster. I find this very tiring to read. When someone posts something there are times that you not only know who, but what the person will say.
Anaconda we could expand your observation not only to a coin but to a series someone collects. Why make it your business what someone else collects? Let them enjoy it regardless of how you feel. Collecting is something that should make us feel good.
Lastly take a look at yourself and how you react to a comment about yourself. This is a difficult thing to learn, but remember only YOU should control the state of your mind. Letting someone else do that for you makes for a miserable life. The greatest line in any movie was when Rhett Butler uttered the famous line "frankly Scarlett I don't give a damn". Learn how to control your mood, before I go at night from work I mentally review three or four good things that happened to me during the day or were said to me. Ditch the negative.
I enjoy your posts and your contributions to this board immensely - and I agree in general with your comments above. However, I believe the impetus for this post was your recent disagreement with Mr. O'Connor in which he took a large numismatic dump on one of your coins for reasons that I think I understand.
Without rehashing the whole issue you posted a picture of an 1815 25c, Stewart (who I believe is an extremely knowledgeable numismatist) very, very politely noted that he believed the coin was not original (or words to that effect) to which you responded by quoting from the NGC grading policy manual that NGC doesn't slab harshly cleaned coins, to which O'Connor responded with his now famous 'Are you freakin' kiddin' me?' response (one could almost imagine O'Connor leaping from his seat as he pounded his response into the keyboard).
O'Connor wasn't dumping on the coin in my view, he was dumping on you for the 'well, if its slabbed by NGC that ought to be good enough for you' response and I must say that I had exactly the same reaction as did O'Connor when I read your words. Of course, I didn't fire off some confrontational Email about it, I just thought to myself 'hmmm, I'm surprised Adrian wrote that, because I'm sure Adrian like me has seen many, many overgraded, cleaned or suspect coins in NGC (or PCGS) holders through the years and knows that just because the coin was slabbed by NGC doesn't mean much'.
This is just my opinion which I was delighted to keep to myself, however since you posted your message I thought I'd give you my view gratis.
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
Sometimes I post newps with the idea of just sharing the coolness. Sometimes because I want to learn. But I think all of us have to take everything said on these forums with a grain of salt and not let some critical remarks about a coin sour our enjoyment of the coin we purchased.
Gee, and I was going to look for an AMC Pacer wagon...
I think we can all agree that constructive criticism based on knowledge is a good thing, while unjustly harsh criticism from ignorance is insulting. If I run across a coin I don't like, I tend not to comment unless someone makes out an undesirable coin as if it were the cat's meow. I respond to undue hyping, but little else unless I like the coin.
Obscurum per obscurius
In terms of psychology, I happen to be in that field, I have taught assertiveness training, self esteem, anger management and self image groups. I always tell people that I lecture to (Severe and Persistant Mentally Ill consumers) that you control how you feel about what others tell you. You determine if you are going to allow others to get under your skin and if you are going to be angry about it.
If I post a picture of a coin and someone tells me it is junk I wouldn't let that bother me; that person is simple minded and only trying to start a fight in my opinion. However, if someone tells me that they don't like it because x, y,z that is fine with me; they have expressed their right to disagree or not like something that I may like.
People on this forum criticize coins all the time and no one has a problem with it unless it is another forum members coin. If you allow others to control your emotions when responding to such criticism then you should probably not post pictures of your coins.
There are always going to be the trolls that say "that coin is junk" and there are always going to be those that allow trolls to control their emotions and there will always be flamed threads. Find me a forum that is any different. The only way to beat a troll is by not joining in what they are trying to control. Pretty simple isn't is...or is it.
Excellent memory but there was in fact a winkie under my post and that post is still unedited.
I knew those winkies would get me into trouble.
adrian
We're entitled to many things. Is that what we should use as our gold standard?
Here are some of the things we are also entitled to:
Curse in front of children.
Have abortions.
Buy an animal and kill it for no reason.
Hopefully this is sufficient to get the point across.
Thank you for doing this - I think that was an important step. I will try to be considerate of what you feel is important, also.
BTW - if you take that coin out into the direct sunlight and view the right field, you will see that what I refer to is not a disturbance in the toning. My personal opinion is die finish lines, tho others have told me they felt they were hairlines.
No, i disagree. I'm trying to do what you are trying to do, persuade people to do or not do things.
"I always tell people that I lecture to (Severe and Persistant Mentally Ill consumers) that you control how you feel about what others tell you. You determine if you are going to allow others to get under your skin and if you are going to be angry about it.
You're a psychologist. You know that people are affected by what they hear. (We indeed can only control ourselves but we can
influence others.) If my patient said that she was married to a man that constantly told her she was a piece of trash, when she wasn't,
i wouldn't tell her:
"you control how you feel about what others tell you."
I would tell her that if she is confident that he will not change that she should consider getting out that abusive relationship.
By the way, i'm not sure this topic deserves many more posts. We can all just agree to disagree and i can just cry myself to sleep every night.
(Please notice the winkie above which relates only to the 9 words that immediately preceed it.)
adrian
Curse in front of children.
Have abortions.
Buy an animal and kill it for no reason.
Hopefully this is sufficient to get the point across"
Not really: There are certain moralities that people should live by that is just common sense.
And while having an abortion is legal, buying an animal and killing it for no reason certainly isn't.
Those statements do not have anything to do with what this topic started out as. I believe it started out by making a statement that peoples feelings are getting hurt because they have difficulty accepting criticism by others; which I do think people have a right to their opinions and hopefully the opinions are not without thought.
Without sounding critical.....The thought comes to mind...
Are you being critical about people being critical.
Is this two ends of the same stick.?
So you live in the Amboys area?
I live in NYC now, but I grew up off 172, went to school at 130 or 9, and then lived off 168 for a few years before departing the Garden State.
EVP
How does one get a hater to stop hating?
I can be reached at evillageprowler@gmail.com
I still believe that the majority of our hobby consists of collectors, as opposed to investors. I suspect that the majority of Adrian's clients are investors, though certainly there are some true collectors scattered among the bunch, with a majority likely showing attributes of both collector and investor. However, to assume that the clientelle he deals with on a daily basis, and therefore his perception of the hobby as a whole, represents anything approching accuracy is, in my opinion, unrealistic at best, foolish and ignorant in truth.
Adrian likely has 50-100 coins at any one time that alone will sell for more than my entire collection. That doesn't mean they are beyond criticism and reproach, nor does it mean that mine is too insignifigant to warrant attention. It's just a different perspective, with a different purpose. If either of us has the inclination to share photos, descriptions, whatever with a group of people, then we should be cognizant of the fact that differing opinions are valid, worthy, and helpful. And if those presentations are interlaced with musings about collectors, investors, and the hobby in general, or the importance of image in the Industry, then the coin(s) will be judged with that in mind as well. There certainly is no need for anyone to criticize a coin Adrian posts for our consideration. He is far better versed in toned coins than most here, so the valid opinions would be few and far between. It is an equal folly for Adrian to whine when he doesn't get the reaction he was hoping for, whatever the reason.
Ideas such as "an invitation-only forum," and "common coins lead to common collections" serve that "thin slice" of collectors/dealers/investors that Adrian is understandably concerned with. But they don't come close to representing the hobby as a whole. While concepts such as those may be beneficial to the few who participate at that level, they do nothing good for Numismatics as a hobby, or the perception of the hobby among the most important members it embraces: the new collector, the average collector, and the enthusiast.
There is a very simple solution to this problem. If you don't like criticism about your coins, don't post a picture. That's simple enough for even I to grasp. You lose the positive as well as the negative though, and the opportunity to show off a coin you're proud to have the opportunity of owning.
Or flipping.
"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman
Your example of a wife being told that she is a peice trash is a little more compound than talking about someones coins. You are taking what I am saying out of context and into a completely different realm.
-Aaron