"Good Morning Class" 6 -- Halloween

Clankeye

Mrs. Coinboard: (under her desk) Good morning class!
All: (under their desks) Good morning Mrs. Coinboard!
Mrs. CB: Is he gone?
All: Yes, Mrs. Coinboard!
Her head pops up, she looks left, then right
Mrs. CB: No Drill Sergeant Bear?
Fog is creeping in under the classroom door
All: Nuh-uh, Mrs. Coinboard!
They emerge from under their desks. Fog swirls forbodingly at their feet
Mrs. CB: (shaking her head) Brrrrrr... Angels and Devils and Drill Sergeant Bears... Oh my! Halloween, dears... it must be Halloween! Yes?... Dpoole?
Dpoole: I think we experienced an episode of mass hysteria, Mrs. Coinboard! Like the people at the Salem Witch trials, or guys bidding on state quarters....
The fog is thick and cold now
IrishMike: Yeah! There's no such thing as Devil Bears or Angel Bears or Drill Sarg---

BE-LAY THAT MATEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Out of the fog steps the peg-legged ghost of Captain Angus McBear. Wild eyed, with matted black beard, a parrot, cutlass-- in full pirate regalia... and a hangman's noose fitted around his neck

The Ghost of Captain McBear: (sword to the chest of IrishMike) No Devil Bear is it? I'd be withdrawin' that one laddie.... Next ye'll be telling me that ol' Wallstreetbird here on me shoulder 'taint a parrot!
Wallstreetbird: Wally wants a crackout! Braaaacccck!!
EVP: Um... your parrot looks like an ostrich.
Captain McBear: SHUT YER FOGHORN, MATEY! A better parrot 'taz never lived than Wally! (turning to Mrs. Coinboard, grimacing) 'Tis worse than I had feared. Ye have the look of the recently keel-hauled, Coin-Hag! 'Tis Hallowed Eve, woman! And there be ghosts, skeletons, Angels AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF TO PAY!
---POOF--- Devil Bear, still dressed as Elvis appears. He bows
Devil Bear: Thank ya very much!
---POOF--- he's gone
Captain McBear fondles his large belt buckle shaped like a ship's wheel
Airplanenut: Cool belt buckle, dude!
Captain McBear: AYE! It may be cool... BUT IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!
Russ: Bwwwwwhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Michael: yes yes yes, lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain McBear: (wiping his eyes) Ahhh... har... I loves that one.
Mrs. Coinboard: What is it that you want with us Captain McBear?!!!

(Momentarily we are transported into the brain of the class Hamster "Hamstaconda." He is in his cage watching the action while running on his treadmill. Hamstaconda: Puff-puff-puff Geez, this is great! Puff-puff-puff I've listened to this crap for months! Hamstaconda did this! Hamstaconda did that! Puff-puff-puff I hope he SLAUGHTERS 'em all! Puff-puff-puff)

Captain McBear: 'Tis written Coin-Haggy, that upon Hallowed Eve the ghost of Captain McBear must WALK THE EARTH 'til he finds thems that is vile enough, GREEDY enough, TWISTED ENOUGH! To find his buried treasure....
Mrs. CB: Oh, well... in that case, pull up a chair, dear!
Captain McBear: (sitting) Thanks be to ya, Coin-wench. You may not be easy on the eyes... but you could fart in a bass drum, and it would still be music to me!
--Silence--
Mdwoods: Why do you have a rope around your neck?
Captain McBear: BECAUSE I WAS HANGED! Ye insolent, pup!
Halfnut: By who?
Captain McBear: BY MESELF! After I reads the AgentJim/Anaconda thread.
The Numish: What happened to your leg?
Captain McBear: ME LEG???!!!!!!! Ever hear'd of hims by the name of Clank-eye?
Nucklehead: (gasping) He cut off your leg?
Captain McBear: NAY, YA FOOL! I stuck me boot so far up his arse... the ship's surgeon had to take the rest.... But, watch this! (he pulls an NGC slab from his pocket and holds it up so Wallstreetbird can see it)
Wallstreetbird: Wally wants a crackout! BRAAAAACCCK!!!!!!!!
Captain McBear brings his peg-leg up, smashes it down on the slab, removes the coin and puts it in Wally's beak.
Captain McBear: Ya sees, buckoos, the stump comes in handy sometimes. HAR!
DesertLizard: You said there was buried treasure?!
Captain McBear: (coming close, nose to nose) So I did, lad... so I did! The Ghost of Captain Angus McBear's Halloween Treasure... do ya have the stones to find it?
Lanlord: I do!
FC57Coins: Me too!
Captain McBear: (he is fading, his features slowly becoming a skull and cross bones) Then start here brave boys... Where X marks the spot... And be ye ware.. lest the owl... hoot... thrice... (like a whisper, he is gone)

X MARKS THE SPOT

LanLord

here we go

coinguy1

Clankeye - awesome! How about 2, a week, from now on??????

halfnut

I must be moving up, I got a two word part

shirohniichan

This looks good! I can hardly wait for the conclusion.

UncleJoe

Clankeye, Bravo!!! Encore, Encore!!!

(Now, where is the treasure, really?)

Joe.

FC57Coins

Rut roh - me thinks me hear's me stones a clanking!!! LOL - Excellent Carl! take a bow!

Frank

dimeadzn

I love these threads! Thanks!

Gilbert

Clankeye,

I must admit, after the first installment, I didn't know what to think: Tall tales on the coinboard? But, I have copied them all, and look forward to each subsequent installment.

This one, however, left me feeling, well .... cheated. Like you used too much cut on my fix, if ya' know what I mean.

smprfi

You ever think about writing short stories?You sure do have a knack for it.These are good.

Bear

I dont know I have been getting a rough time in these here stories.

First I get shot and die, then a evil twin shows up that I never

knew existed. Then I become an angel and finally, someone cuts my

leg off and I become a pirate.I dont really know what kind of bird

Old Clank put on my shoulder, but its making a real mess up there.

In addition Im still afraid that a big snake is going to eat me

and I could not sleep all last night and hid under the bed. Then Mrs Bear said that snakes

like to sleep under beds and I got a panic attack and had to take my pills.

And the rest of you think that you got problems? Hmmmphhh!!!! Marshall Bear

Bear

Hey Clank, every time I come back as somebody else

do I at least get to wear clean underwear?

halfnut

Only an smart and wise bear would think of asking about clean underware.

coinguy1

Bear, You sound like a character from the old TV show Dallas! Remember, anacondas can't eat you, they can only strangle you.

Clankeye

Aye, clean McBear. And filled with gold doubloons...

There was an old pirate from France
Who kept a a rare coin down his pants
He stored the gold coin
Right next to his groin
Where ladies would find it by chance



I sees that Keets has been to me treasure and tried to dig it up. I like the cut of his jib!

Bear

Thanks Coinguy, thats a relief. I dont mind much being strangled

I just cant stand the though of being swallowed. Bear

coinguy1

Bear, on second thought, I might have misspoken. We've never met and, in the event that you're a little bear (as opposed to a mid-sized or large-sized bear), it is still possible that an anaconda could ......um, not necessarily have to strangle you in order to enjoy a (bear) meal.

shirohniichan

In addition Im still afraid that a big snake is going to eat me

Rest assured that I don't eat bears. I can't speak for anaconda, though.

Bear

Where did I put the Damn Prozac. I can never find them when I need one.

Do you people have any idea how dark it must be inside a big snake. Also I get

claustrophobic in tight, cramped, small spaces.Now is the time I wish I was

an elephant and a big one at that instead of a small cute bear.

mbbiker

These storys are a great way to bring in the new week. Its nice to know when i wake up mon. morning i'll have somthing funny to start out the day.

keets

There once was a man from Seattle
Who's threads would describe every battle.
We laughed when we read
What his characters said
Of the members who acted like cattle!!

al h.

who's biddin' on my treasure map??

Bear

Keets - Your poem wins the Bears coveted "GROWL OF APPROVAL AWARD".

Congratulations. Bear

RLinn

Good morning, Clankeye, go to the head of the class. As usual you have set the curve for creative writing. Another classic. Thanks.

MadMarty

Just too friggin' funny, I love it. Keep them coming. Hey bear, your a star!!!

Bear

Madmarty - Do you think this could lead

to a TV series or even a movie? Bear, the star of stage, film and TV productions.

coinguy1

Keets/Al - good one!

toners

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling, Keep them doggies rolling, keep em coming Clankeye.
Allen

numobri

I must say,your stories are AWESOME.I've seen it all,while lurking outside the window of the classroom.

keets

hey brian

you really should get in your seat!!! i don't think you can afford too many more tardies on your report card. coinbroad might send you home with a note!!!

al h.

airplanenut

Clank- you have a gift

MadMarty

<< <i>to a TV series or even a movie? Bear, the star of stage, film and TV productions. >>



Sure, there were lot's of bears on TV and movies.

Smoky the bear
BJ and the bear (or was it the bear likes a BJ)
Grizzly Adams
The hair bear bunch

I'm sure there are plenty more, just can't think of any...

dpoole

How embarrassing. I coulda SWORN Bear was the product of mass hysteria.

Anyhow, Bear, sounds like your worry now is getting trampled by a hamstaconda!

coinguy1

I wonder if a "hamstaconda" is any relation to a "MastaHanky" ? Bear? Clankeye? MastaHanky? Can any of you shed any light on that?

Bear

I could become a bigger star then Gentle Ben.

Then who knows, I might run for President, king or even emperor. Oh, I forgot,

Shiro has a lock on the emperor thing. Vote for Bear!!!!

kranky

Wally wants a crackout!

LOL!

RegistryCoin

lol, al h.

MrLee

Not the dreaded Hamstaconda! Anything but THAT! Shiver me timbers and run for the Yard arms matey's! (Or at least the poop deck)

Classic Clankeye. Just Classic. Thank you for sharing your gift.

goyankeez

LOL

What's next:

Bear action figures. Available: "Marshal Bear", "Devil Bear", "Angel Bear", and special limited edition "Captain McBear".

Bear's own series. A spin-off a la Norman Lear.

Luchboxes, breakfast cereals, comic books, video games, etc.

... the marketing potential is limitless.

leothelyon

HA! Anaconda couldn't eat Bear, not without cheese and wine. Bear is a class act!

Leo

abmluce

ttt

Bear

KlectorKid

great comic/story/topic, some day ill be in 1...

Clankeye

<< <i>KlectorKid: (sobbing) I don't wanna be in a bodybag! >>



Good Morning Class 4

Mrs: Coinboard: Earth to KlectorChild! Pay attention, dear.

RegistryCoin

It was a Monday morning class...