Would you have handled this situation differently?
Mizzou
Posts: 463 ✭✭✭✭
This actually happened to me a couple of years ago at a local coin show, for some reason I started thinking about it while I was cutting the grass today -
Discovered that there was a local coin show the first Sunday of every month not too far from the house. I thought I'd go down and check it out, maybe pick up a few coins, so off I went. I got there and it was pretty crowded for a local show, I sensed that most of the people in attendance were probably there every week, they were on a first name basis.
I always make an initial walk through of the entire show and then go back around before purchasing anything, making mental notes of interesting tables. I came back to one table and asked if they had any Hawaiian coins. The dealer (guy behind the table) told me to have a seat and he pulled out an album. He handed it to me and said "Look through these and see if you find anything".
I searched through the album page by page and didn't see anything of interest because most of the coins were heavily worn or doubles of what I already had. I had the album in my possession for probably five minutes, and he was directly across the table talking to me the whole time.
I handed the album back, thanked him for his time and turned to leave. That's when I heard him say in a loud voice, "HEY THERE'S A COIN MISSING" I stopped, turned back around and looked at him confused and embarrassed because of him implying that I stole one of his coins. I told him that I didn't know what to say, I didn't take anything.
Meanwhile he's looking around the table and on the floor and all of a sudden he picks a coin up off the floor and says "Oh, sorry it must have fallen out and landed under my chair"
That's when I said (almost shouting) YOU RAISED YOUR VOICE SO EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM COULD HEAR THAT YOU ACCUSED ME OF STEALING, BUT NOW YOU FIND THE COIN UNDER YOUR CHAIR AND AND APOLOGIZE IN A WHISPER?? THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
He said "No problem. I found the coin". I said, there's a big problem, everybody in this room turned around and looked at me like a thief because you accused me of something I didn't do. I called him a couple of names (that I won't repeat here) and went back home.
Sometimes I think that animals are smarter than humans, animals would never allow the dumbest one to lead the pack
Comments
You were fine. I would have gone to the people running the show and tell them what happened as well.
Some people are clowns.
You handled it just right. Good for you👍
You did ok with it.
It is a bad memory best left in the past.
Indeed a bad memory... but you did the right thing....I certainly would have gone back to the show, but purposely avoid that dealer.... Even buy a coin or two from dealers on each side of him. Cheers, RickO
You did the right thing ... he was the fool.
With me and how I am I probably would have simply said, “I’m glad you found your missing coin” and never do business with them. I’m sure it’s happened to other people there with him.
Sadly, shrinkage is a big problem. I was at one table and was told several expensive slabs were stolen by people who were at the next table and snuck their hands into the open case while the dealer was helping another person. It was a long table and not easy to keep a watch across the whole length.
I always make it a point to make the dealer hand me a coin and never reach for one. And I only do one coin at a time. Just seems safer for everyone. It also works because I’m rarely interested in lots of coins at any one display.
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Letting go of resentments is a valuable gift of confidence in self. Have a good day. Peace Roy
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I had written a big response but then I realized you did exactly what I would of done. I am glad you gave it to him he over reacted for being a clutz!
Yes, very differently. I'm non confrontational so I probably would've just smiled after he said he found it, and walked away.
I'm pretty certain that I would not have handled it the way you had.
I've been on both sides of the table for many years and I've never had someone steal a coin from me at a show, but it doesn't mean it couldn't happen in the future. I don't like how the dealer behaved, but he likely truly believed you had palmed one or more coins and his best recourse might have been to attract attention to freeze the situation. It's a sad reflection on society, but folks go to shows to palm coins and they don't stop at stealing from one dealer. They will hit many dealers in one afternoon.
It can be a tough situation to be in as a dealer. From what you have written, neither you nor he behaved in what might be the most appropriate or civil manner.
In honor of the memory of Cpl. Michael E. Thompson
Thanks everyone for your responses.
I'd just like to say one more thing about my initial post. The reason I got so angry at that guy is because I've noticed that in today's society, if someone accuses you of doing something it doesn't matter whether you did it or not. The seed was planted and it will always be in the back of other people's minds. The room was full of other local collectors and dealers and that was humiliating.
Sometimes I think that animals are smarter than humans, animals would never allow the dumbest one to lead the pack
I wouldn't have gone home.
I dunno. There's enough funny business that I understand why the dealer did what he did.....
Anyone who knows me well knows that my pet peeve is being accused of something I didn't do. It makes me absolutely insane.... so I see your side too. Something slightly similar happened to me once at a show. I'll never do business with that dealer again, and it's too bad. He has lots of good stuff.
Your absolutely right about the accusation. Guilty until proven innocent, and the trial will be held in the court of public opinion. Even better if the media gets involved. A good friend of mine was accused of something pretty horrible when he was younger. 25 years later he still carries it around. People in the small town he lives in still regard him with suspicion.
Sorry to hear about your experience. I think that the dealer could have handled it a little better. Hopefully that one bad experience didn't totally scare you away from going back to the show. Unfortunately if it is the show that I am thinking of there have been a few problems of theft there at the show, and I have had a couple things stolen from me when I was helping other collectors. That might explain the dealers actions but like I said, I think he still could have handled it differently.
I think you handled it very well. Being falsely accused sends me in to a bit of a rage, so I totally get it. Not sure if I would have done the same thing, though, as I would have just been in shock.
He got off easy. I would have slashed his tires.
No opinion.
I think you handled it appropriately.
Gonna get me a $50 Octagonal someday. Some. Day.
Just for argument's sake, let's look at it from the dealer's perspective. He hands a stranger an album and it comes back with a missing coin. What should he think or say?
Yeah, he probably over reacted...and probably should have looked around first. But dealers sometimes get ripped off by shady characters. Spending 10 minutes figuring it out while a guy casually walks away doesn't work.
If I were the dealer I would have made a big deal about finding the coin, and apologizing to the collector. And I would have offered him a discount for now or the future, or some other way to say I'm sorry. I would hope that the collector would understand.
Lance.
In my opinion, you both over reacted.
Tough situation, but I think you handled it fine. I would have been very upset. There’s a lot of inherent trust between dealers and collectors. I’ve had dealers I don’t even know walk away as I was looking through large boxes of $500 slabbed coins. He essentially accused you of stealing. Doing so loudly made things much worse.
Dave
More than 1 coin coming out of a case or going on a counter is the universal sign for me to move hands.
If a dealer trusts me enough with their inventory I'm more than happy to be respectful. I can't imagine the stress of thieves and missing pieces. Or people pawing at my god damn gold all day...