A major arrives at a remote post. “Where’s your lieutenant?” he asks a private.
“Sir, there isn’t a lieutenant assigned to this post.”
“I was told there was.”
“No, sir, no lieutenant here.”
“I’m pretty sure there is.”
The private thinks about it for a moment. “Well, Major, if I may ask you a question, imagine you took the word ‘rifle’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”
“Well, ‘rile’ I suppose.”
“That’s what I thought. And sir, if you took the word ‘draft’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”
Amused, the major answers, “‘Drat’ I guess.”
“And sir, if you took the word ‘lieutenant’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”
The major says, “There is no ‘f’ in lieutenant.”
“That’s what I have been trying to tell you, sir. There is no effin’ lieutenant.”
An Admiral who lost one of his ears in an accident and was very sensitive about his appearance was interviewing a Navy Master Chief, an Aviation Master Chief, and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I imagine this impacts your hearing on that side."
The Admiral got very angry and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out as well.
The third interview was with a Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together.
The Admiral wanted this guy but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.
“And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied: “Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear.”
Comments
USAF (Ret) The purpose of Bourbon is to make you feel like you should feel WITHOUT Bourbon. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USAF (Ret) The purpose of Bourbon is to make you feel like you should feel WITHOUT Bourbon. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Where’s Barney Fife when we need him those geese are not using the crosswalk
Lafayette Grading Set
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
did i take it too far with the debt joke?
A major arrives at a remote post. “Where’s your lieutenant?” he asks a private.
“Sir, there isn’t a lieutenant assigned to this post.”
“I was told there was.”
“No, sir, no lieutenant here.”
“I’m pretty sure there is.”
The private thinks about it for a moment. “Well, Major, if I may ask you a question, imagine you took the word ‘rifle’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”
“Well, ‘rile’ I suppose.”
“That’s what I thought. And sir, if you took the word ‘draft’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”
Amused, the major answers, “‘Drat’ I guess.”
“And sir, if you took the word ‘lieutenant’ and removed the letter ‘f’, what would remain?”
The major says, “There is no ‘f’ in lieutenant.”
“That’s what I have been trying to tell you, sir. There is no effin’ lieutenant.”
An Admiral who lost one of his ears in an accident and was very sensitive about his appearance was interviewing a Navy Master Chief, an Aviation Master Chief, and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type, and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?"
The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are missing your starboard ear, so I imagine this impacts your hearing on that side."
The Admiral got very angry and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out as well.
The third interview was with a Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together.
The Admiral wanted this guy but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine.
“And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied: “Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one ear.”
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it!"
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
The Newport Lobster Shack...been there...yummy
USAF (Ret) The purpose of Bourbon is to make you feel like you should feel WITHOUT Bourbon. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members