A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my gerbil."
Teacher: "Why are you late this morning?"
Student: "Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!"
Teacher: How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?"
Student: "There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven."
The difference between boogers and vegetables is kids won't eat their vegetables.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
A guy is having his one too many beers and burps and gets some on his shirt. "Oh, my wife is going to be pissed about this." The guy next to him said, "Just do what I do, stick a twenty dollar bill in your pocket and tell her someone else did it and gave you the twenty to get your shirt cleaned." "Hey, that might work" he said hopefully. So he has yet another beer or two.
When he gets home, his wife is up and she isn't happy, "Look at you, you've been drinking" she scolded. 'And you even barfed on your shirt!"
No, another guy did that and gave me this twenty dollar bill to get my short cleaned.
His wife looked at the contents of his pocket and said, 'Hey, there's two twenty dollar bills here?"
Oh ya, he crapped my pants too.......
"Ain't None of Them play like him (Bix Beiderbecke) Yet." Louis Armstrong
i was happy to stumble onto another one of their channels although the video i landed on was gavin talking about his storage needs and his new setup which has 1 Petabyte !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but with the type of video work they do, it makes perfect sense.
some of the video files my 'ol iphone 6s can produce, surprisingly isn't too far off from those video sizes amazingly enough, especially on the highest setting and for slo-mo work. probably more than my current notebook can process? i haven't tried in a long time.
Honestly, I had not even heard of a 'petabyte' before.... Had to look it up... Holy fecal matter!!!!! I wonder if they have a thumb drive with that capacity. Cheers, RickO
You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don’t you? The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts.
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Two elephants in a bathtub
The elephant in the front asks the one in the back to pass the soap. The elephant in the back says, "what do I look like? A typewriter?"
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Pete
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my gerbil."
Cheers, RickO
Teacher: "Why are you late this morning?"
Student: "Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!"
Teacher: How did the alarm clock make you the only one not to get up?"
Student: "There are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven."
Cheers, RickO
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
Cheers, RickO
A man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," said the priest. "That's not a sin."
"But I made him agree to pay me $20 for every week he stayed," the man explained.
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause," the priest replied.
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind,” the man said. “I have one more question, though."
"What is that, my son?" the priest inquired.
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Cheers, RickO
The difference between boogers and vegetables is kids won't eat their vegetables.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
again, not necessarily a LOL funny video but i for sure laughed a bit, for a few different reasons.
if you feel your sanity starting to slip away, you can skip to 25:00 or so for the good part.
edited to add: This one second file was almost 80GBs.
Little boy in green is moving......
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I believe he just nail'd this problem
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
And after you enjoyed our desserts, finish the evening with our fine wines......
https://youtu.be/Djywk1SsDA8
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Coverage starts January 1st!
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
No.
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A guy is having his one too many beers and burps and gets some on his shirt. "Oh, my wife is going to be pissed about this." The guy next to him said, "Just do what I do, stick a twenty dollar bill in your pocket and tell her someone else did it and gave you the twenty to get your shirt cleaned." "Hey, that might work" he said hopefully. So he has yet another beer or two.
When he gets home, his wife is up and she isn't happy, "Look at you, you've been drinking" she scolded. 'And you even barfed on your shirt!"
No, another guy did that and gave me this twenty dollar bill to get my short cleaned.
His wife looked at the contents of his pocket and said, 'Hey, there's two twenty dollar bills here?"
Oh ya, he crapped my pants too.......
Louis Armstrong
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Pete
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
good video @LanceNewmanOCC
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
.
thanks.
i was happy to stumble onto another one of their channels although the video i landed on was gavin talking about his storage needs and his new setup which has 1 Petabyte !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but with the type of video work they do, it makes perfect sense.
some of the video files my 'ol iphone 6s can produce, surprisingly isn't too far off from those video sizes amazingly enough, especially on the highest setting and for slo-mo work. probably more than my current notebook can process? i haven't tried in a long time.
You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don’t you? The three wise WOMEN would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and given practical gifts.
Cheers, RickO
A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa.
"Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl.
"Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa.
"Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
Cheers, RickO
Signs of the times....
In the front yard of a funeral home, 'Drive carefully, we'll wait.'
On an electrician's truck, 'Let us remove your shorts.'
Outside a radiator repair shop, 'Best place in town to take a leak.'
On a maternity room door, 'Push, Push, Push.'
On a taxidermist's window, 'We really know our stuff.'
On a butcher's window, 'Let me meat your needs.'
On a fence, 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.'
On a muffler shop, 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.'
In a dry cleaner's emporium, 'Drop your pants here.'
On a desk in a reception room, 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.'
In a veterinarian's waiting room, 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
In a Beauty Shop, 'Dye now!'
In a restaurant window, 'Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.'
In a cafeteria, 'Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.'
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members