Bad coin jokes
mt_msla
Posts: 815 ✭✭✭✭
What do you call an independent lady? MS.
What do you call someone with no money? PO1
What do you call it when you go out for the night, but come home alone? About Uncirculated
What do you call it when you just stay home? Uncirculated
Do you have any jokes? If so, VG.
;-)
Insert witicism here. [ xxx ]
4
Comments
What do you call Jackie Kennedy? a better JFK half
Transportation tokens=bussed coins?
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."
Cheers, RickO
Q: What is Alimony?
A: The screwing you get for the screwing you got!
have a nice forth all
How do you know when a coin dealer goes on vacation??
He puts all the chairs he has on top his house.
HAPPY COLLECTING
How do you know when a coin dealer sold his house????
He paints how much he got for it on the roof and circles it.
HAPPY COLLECTING
My favorite has always been:
Question - What's over 6 inches long and over 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
Answer - a $100 bill!
Just found this one:
Question - Where did Bernie Madoff get the idea to make so much money from a ponzi scheme
Answer - Social Security
I remember this riddle from when I was a little kid:
Q: What's the difference between a shiny new penny and a dirty old dime?
A: Nine cents.
Kids would get hung up on the shiny versus dirty information which was not relevant to the answer.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Guy asks me at coin show, "Do you have any 65-D Lincolns?" Said it was all he needed to complete his set.
Successful BST deals with mustangt and jesbroken. Now EVERYTHING is for sale.
Money joke, guy asks a lovely woman, would you sleep with me for 1 million dollars? She says sure. He then asks would you sleep with me for $10? She says no, what kind of girl do you think I am? He replies we have already established that, now we are just haggleing over the price. Sorry ladies.
My late father-in-law got me with this one. "Did you know that 64 Kennedy Half Dollars are worth at least $32 now?"
Louis Armstrong
Entertainer/coin:
50 Cent ain't worth a dime.
Always the time honored, BU means been used. Popular on eBay.
Buffed Up
Butt Ugly
Beat Up
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
What do you call a worn Buffalo nickel collector who is posting here on a Saturday night?
Dateless.
My wife always gives me "sound advice", 90% sound and 10% advice. Not a joke, but I thought it'll fit here !!!
Guy takes his girl to a football game for the first time. After the game he asks how she liked it. She said it was ok but I didn't realize how cheap they were. After flipping the quarter all they kept yelling is get the quarter back, get the quarter back. Gees its only a quarter!
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Cheers, RickO
Hey, is ^that a double?
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
What happened to the 1955 cent after he was pronounced dead twice? Some say he double died.
The OP's title is BAD coin jokes. That's why I didn't open this discussion until today while waiting for a reply somewhere else. These are very good jokes. I opened it today to leave a really bad coin joke:
What do you call a Morgan dollar? It doesn't matter because he can't hear you.
Rodney
Dangerfield you ain't. Get the hook..... 
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
do you see the bowtie fantastic ?
Hahaha
OTOH, the OP wanted BAD coin jokes---yours fit the bill to a T.
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
Is there a such thing as GOOD coin jokes?
Great transactions with oih82w8, JasonGaming, Moose1913.
Actually, Azurecens' joke was so bad, I laughed. So perhaps it was good, a sort of Schroedinger's Cat joke.
RMR: 'Wer, wenn ich schriee, hörte mich denn aus der Engel Ordnungen?'
CJ: 'No one!' [Ain't no angels in the coin biz]
Yes, yes I do!
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
Called my girlfriend a two bit tramp and she hit me with a bag of quarters. Again sorry ladies.
What was Brando's favorite coin? Stella
Insert witicism here. [ xxx ]
It's a total "dad joke". I hope, at the very least, it's original.
Glad I could get some grins and groans. XD
Two trade dollars walk into a bar. One is in shining mint state, cartwheel luster, great strike, looking for a reprieve after his tiring trip from the mint.
The other trade dollar, visibly worn, sits down and his grumblings about foreign trade filled the room. He told every story behind his counterstamps, stunning the crowd and drawing conversations away from the mint-state trade dollar.
Fed up with all the attention in the room being given to a beat-up, worn, chop-marked trade dollar, the MS specimen stands up and declares, "I'm the least impressed".
How did the Bust half-dollar know she was past her prime?
She was undateable.
Insert witicism here. [ xxx ]
what did the standing liberty quarter say to the seated liberty quarter? let's become walkers.
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date
the flowing hairs have never been the same since the barbers
If I had a dime for every time_____________ I'd be a millionaire!
Two blonds walking down the street. One picks up a compact and shows it to the other.
She opens it up and says it's hers, no says the other blond it's mine it has a picture of me inside.
Many years ago, two coin collectors were walking along a sidewalk when they both spotted a large cent laying on the sidewalk. And that's how copper wire was invented.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Maybe I'm just slow today, but I don't get the punchline.
Being extremely enthusiastic coin collectors they both bent over and grabbed the coin off the sidewalk at the same time and in the ensuing struggle they both pulled so hard that the copper stretched and that's how copper wire was invented. I thought it was pretty funny when I first heard it several decades ago.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
Not a joke, more of a riddle.
Three men checked into a hotel room and were charged $30 for which they paid $10 each. The next day, the manager realized that the men had been overcharged since the real price is $25 for the room. The manager gave the bellhop $5 to return to the three men. On the way to their room the bellhop decided to keep $2 for himself so he wouldn't have to make change. The bellhop gave $1 to each man. The three men had now paid $9 each, or a total of $27. This, plus the $2 the bellhop kept for himself, makes a total of $29. What happened to the other dollar?
"A dog breaks your heart only one time and that is when they pass on". Unknown
That's a good one @1Mike1
Insert witicism here. [ xxx ]
Lol that's pretty good. Usually riddles don't take me that long but.. math.
I thought that I was good at math but still can't figure this one out.
It's not $27 + $2, but rather $27 - $2 = $25. There is no "other" dollar.
[Edited to add - I've seen a similar change-making scam, or maybe it was unintentional, on the bourse.]
Pacific Northwest Numismatic Association
Yah, my 12 year old helped me figure that out
Successful transactions with : MICHAELDIXON, Manorcourtman, Bochiman, bolivarshagnasty, AUandAG, onlyroosies, chumley, Weiss, jdimmick, BAJJERFAN, gene1978, TJM965, Smittys, GRANDAM, JTHawaii, mainejoe, softparade, derryb
Bad transactions with : nobody to date