Steak and Coins (Mostly undercooked steak!)
abcde12345
Posts: 3,404 ✭✭✭✭✭
A friend passed along this story of a dinner party he was invited to with a wealthy client he was trying to impress:
"Last night, a numismatic client who spends easily upper six figures every year with our firm invited us over for dinner. On the drive over, my wife reiterated many times to me just how important it was to make a good impression.
I scoffed and arrogantly informed my silly wife that I always make good impressions.
this client is a single lady in her fifties, so it was just the three of us. We chitchatted over drinks and salads and seemed to really be hitting it off. She laughed at my well-timed, perfectly-appropriate jokes and my wife seemed pleased.
Soon she brought out the main course, a nice big juicy steak for each of us. As I began to cut into my steak, I was discouraged to discover how under cooked this steak was.
Now, I've had my fair share of rare steak. I prefer medium, but I can handle rare. This was several-minutes-on-a-hot-grill short of rare. I probably could've resuscitated the cow had I tried. Instead, I sat there fidgeting with my knife and fork, worrying about how I was going to get away with not eating this steak.
Claim vegan-ism? No, I'd already feigned great enthusiasm upon seeing the steak.
Just then, our hostess excused herself to the kitchen to take care of some dessert preparations. As I looked across the fancy dining room table at the open window of this 3rd story apartment... a cartoon light bulb appeared over my head.
I knew I had to be decisive, realizing that she could return at any moment. I committed. I grabbed the steak with my hand, gently shook off the juice and executed a perfect throw right through the center of the open window.
Here's the big time FU. The window wasn't open. It was the cleanest fricking window you've ever seen in your life. That is, until my mostly raw slab of steak slammed up against it and slowly slid down leaving a trail of bloody juice in its wake.
My wife - who's steak was a nice medium rare and was unaware of my predicament - turned, jaw dropped, and stared at me like I was an alien from another planet. This look then slowly morphed into more of a there-is-no-place-on-this-planet-you-can-ever-hide-from-me expression of demonic anger.
Our client/hostess heard the thud of the steak-on-window impact and came quickly. She took in the scene, the steak sitting on the window sill, the blood trail, my empty plate, and then gave me an inquisitive, puzzled look.
I just didn't know what to say. It felt like a minute of silence, but was probably 3 or 4 seconds. Finally, the best I could manage was "I... I'm so sorry. I am such a clutz... I don't know... I was just cutting it.. and... it... ... it slipped... just ask my wife, I really am a clutz... right honey?... (no help coming from that direction) ... I will clean this up... I can't believe this... I am so sorry" etc... etc...
Both women continued to stare at me like I had escaped from the loony bin, as I smeared the blood around the window with my cloth napkin, dusted off the steak, and continued to mutter my incoherent explanation. I knew no one was buying the story.
I knew what I had to do. I sheepishly returned to my seat and proceeded to eat every bite of that disgusting, cold, chewy, bloody, raw steak.
I remained pretty quiet the rest of the evening. My wife's only two words to me since the incident are "I'm fine".
Fortunately she continues to invest with our firm yet everytime I now see her she has a puzzled look on her face."
Comments
Funny story, I like it !!!
...that’s a great story!...it played out pretty well actually, it could have gone down like a bad British documentary on Netflix...you know, where the poor chap flips his lid and tosses both woman out that same window to cover his tracks
I must admit... throwing the steak out the window would never have occurred to me....slipping it into my back pocket - yes, I could have done that....
Cheers, RickO
I love the story . . but . . . . . .
A nice ribeye, or New York . . just lightly warmed on the outside . . . . .
Perfect.
Drunner
This story reads suspiciously like the Golden Coral bathroom farce. At least it ended better.
Reminds me of my first trip to Paris, France. We were in a restaurant and as I didn't speak nor read French I noticed the gentlemen at a table near us, got the most gorgeous ground sirloin steak, so I ordered it only to find it was steak tartare, of which I had never heard of. The looks I got when I asked the waiter to take it back and cook it before bringing it back out. I was pissed and thought they had messed up and only browned it on one side(which they had) by accident. NOT. The Lord only knows what happened to that piece of meat before I got it back, but I ate it.
Jim
When a man who is honestly mistaken hears the truth, he will either quit being mistaken or cease to be honest....Abraham Lincoln
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.....Mark Twain
@abcde12345
I love good stories, tell us another story.
I have a similar story that happened to a friend in Japan. He had minimal language skills so he told the waitress that he wanted what the guy at the next table was having. It looked simple enough - pieces of fried shrimp. The waitress tried to dissuade him from ordering that dish, but he insisted.
What came to his table was a plate of large, shelled, raw shrimp. It seems that once the customer ate the shrimp bodies, the heads and tails were taken back and fried and returned to the customer. That is the stage of the meal that my friend had seen at the table next to him.
Anyway, my friend likes sushi so he figures with enough of the sauce she brought with the shrimp they might be edible, so he followed the waitress's instructions and held the shrimp at each end and put the body in his mouth and bit down. At that point he found out where the dish's name "Dancing Shrimp" came from. The shrimp weren't just raw they were still alive.
Amazing how @abcde12345 can sometimes sound like a Rhodes Scholar, and one message later, exactly like the "Waterboys Daddy". I think it's Glicker, but could be one of his fans.
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...I know who it is 100%...but none of you'se better go PM'ing me about "who" because not even the Feds could squeeze it out of me...and I take it as an insult when people ask me to rat on anything
David Hall?
Hilarious!
Don't sweat it............Sh&t happens.................on RARE occasions..............tee heee
Steve
Well, he has given us three good clues:
1 He claims to work for a coin dealer.
2, He has private dinners with rich collectors.
3. He claimed a 3CN coin was polished. It was not. Now I feel better about my GTG errors.
I think it would be fun to try to guess the ID of all the members. I must admit, I had more fun as an unknown poster but two members almost outed me so I decided to post as myself several months before I had planned to.
Now everyone can see I'm not a nice person. 
I've always felt the OP was at least two people....
At one forum I was banned from for being sarcastic and abrasive to folks posting nonsense, I tried to join again. They were able to trace back to all the computers I had access to and I can no longer post. I should think that a company with the resources of our host could also do this.
If they really wanted to, that is...
Banning people from certain parts of the Internet is the most childish thing to do. Restricting access to information is foolish. It's worse than net neutrality, to me, except we do it to each other. People got no balls is the problem.
I'm all for banning folks. I don't know what specific thing I did but I must have broken the rules. Break the rules - take a hike! And I'd say the rules may not be enforced equally. When you are banned, you can read the posts but you cannot post. I consider it their loss.
I have to confess that I did something similar when I was a teenager. We were having buffalo meat hamburgers, and they might just have well been flattened hockey pucks because they likely had a similar taste. When the host was taking a bathroom break I made a break of disposing of the remains of the noble buffalo out the back door. At least I got away with the escapade.
Should of switched steaks with the wife.
That’s funny, laughed pretty good at that one.
......and her two words to the husband would be “ A Wimp”
I don't know about that. The wife is insistent that he makes a good impression. And his wife could easily leave most of her steak uneaten without it looking odd.
The wife might want to have good dinner too, you know...Also it would make the hostess an uneasy feeling about her cooking if most of the steak is uneaten.
We need pics....
I can't tell if this is going in a serious or joking direction, but .....
The way the story is told, the wife is a lot more concerned with the impression than with her dinner. And the way it is told the husband has already seen that his wife's steak is more cooked. Anyways, I have no more to say here.
Very funny story.
It’s all for good joke, of course with a little debating for excitement. Very funny story indeed.