"Good Morning Class" -- The Coinalot World Series of Grading: Conclusion

Clankeye · February 5, 2004 2:34AM

When last we left the Kindom of Coinalot, it was the World Series of Grading Day. As we rejoin the action, Sir Legend is holding The Sheriff of Homerun Hall by the throat, suspended two feet off the ground

Sir Legend: I said show me YOUR coin!!!!!!

The Sheriff of Homerun Hall: (legs kicking) GAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKK!!!!
Saint Feldolini: SIR LEGEND! Show mercy!!!!!
Sir Frattlaw: NO MERCY!!!
Saint Feldolini: (to Frattlaw) We must all show mercy, my brother!
Sir Frattlaw: Hey Feldolini, this might be OT but... BITE ME!!

With a Rebel Yell, Saint Feldolini leaps on Sir Frattlaw. Biting, kicking, cursing, spitting... a horrible, gut-wrenching sight. Meanwhile...

Sir Legend: Show me your coin or perish, Dog!

The Sheriff: GAAAAAAAACCC----cCCC---lllkkkkkkkKKKK!!!!

Struggling wildly, The Sheriff manages to grab on to Sir Legend's helmut. He is on the verge of blacking out--with one last desperate tug!-- he pulls the helmet off Sir Legend!

There for the entire Kingdom to see, is Laura of Sperber...

The crowd: GASP!!!
Knave XpipedreamR: Whoa!!! Dude looks like a lady!!!!

"Sir" Legend plunks The Sheriff to the ground

--Silence--

Sir Bear: (tip-toeing toward her) Can we call you "Lady Legend?"
Sir Legend: You could... but I'd open your skull and mix pancakes in it!
Sir Coinaddict: But, why the deception, M'lad--Sir Legend!

Sir Legend: WHY? Look around you... Look at the other "Knights!"
I am as strong as them, as brave as them, and I am as skilled as them. I don this hard exterior--because it is a hard world!

Sir Mrpawn: (nodding and clapping) Good Answer!!! C'mon everyone--Give it up for Sir Legend!!!! (clapping loudly)

The crowd: Hooray!!!!

Picking himself off the ground, The Sheriff brushes himself off, and adjusts his jerkin.

The Sheriff: SO!! A woman.... all this time!
Lady Lucy of Bop... Um, you got a problem with that...?
The Sheriff: (sniffing) Well... everybody knows a woman can't grade coins!

Lady Lucy of Bop's eyes glaze over. On the ground Saint Feldolini--battered and bloodied--lifts himself on to one elbow

Saint Feldolini: LADY LUCY!!!! NO MY CHILD! NOOOOOO!!!!!

Lady Lucy takes aim and kicks. Kicks where no man--Sheriff or peasant--wants to be kicked

The crowd: OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Squire Airplanenut: Right in the Frankies!
Sir Kranky: It's gotta hurt.

Later that night, safe in his ancestoral home of Homerun Hall, The Sheriff is being tended to by Doctor dPoole--Medievel Barber and Headshrink

Dr. Poole: (humming while he works) A little putty... a little thumbing... Viola!! Good as new, your Lordship!
The Sheriff: (muttering) I showed them all, didn't I Poole?
Dr. Poole: You certainly did, your Lordship!
The Sheriff: ...Not one of them would have been able to grade my coin!
Dr. Poole: I'm sure not, sir! By the way... I'm curious... what was your coin, Lordship?
The Sheriff: My precious! I've never shown anyone! ...Do you want to see it?
Dr. Poole: (astonished) Why... yes! your Lordship.

The Sheriff reaches into his robes and hands Dr. Poole an object--it is round.

The Sheriff: Read to me the legend on the obverse, Poole...
Dr. Poole: (jaw dropping) ...Um... it says...
The Sheriff: Yes-yes!!! Read it!!!
Dr. Poole: It's says "Harrah's Casino, Vegas $5.00"
The Sheriff: (beaming) There's only one in the entire world!...

Dr. Poole: (backing away) Yes... yes, your Lordship. Perhaps some rest. (Poole backs out of the room)

The Sheriff: (shouting after him) ONLY ONE!!! IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!

The Sheriff gazes happily at his "coin" and begins to laugh

BuwwahahahahHAHAHAHAH--cough! cough! Ack.

calgolddiver · February 5, 2004 2:40AM

ROTFFLMAO -

most excellent

jonesy · February 5, 2004 2:41AM

Bear · February 5, 2004 2:45AM

In the garb of a jestor shall truth ring thruought the land.

Splendid, just splendid.

Tassa · February 5, 2004 2:45AM

Bear · February 5, 2004 2:48AM

Carl looks within and distillilates the essence of the soul.

coinguy1 · February 5, 2004 2:54AM

Perhaps THE best and funniest one yet - thank you sir!

jeffnpcb · February 5, 2004 2:56AM

with a little

A CASINO CHIP! Can you get that in a sample moat slab?

numobri · February 5, 2004 3:00AM

GREAT

GREAT

GREAT JOB CLANK

Thanks for the story,it's been nice knowing you.

JrGMan2004 · February 5, 2004 3:05AM

Coolness Factor of 10! Awesome Clank!

nwcs · February 5, 2004 3:06AM

A little putty.... ooh, good line.

Mrpawn · February 5, 2004 3:16AM

A most excellent way to start my day

Thanks again

laurentyvan · February 5, 2004 3:17AM

mgoodm3 · February 5, 2004 3:18AM

Very good. At least we didn't have to wait long for the cliff hanger finish.

shirohniichan · February 5, 2004 3:19AM

I feel stupid laughing at my PC monitor, but that was funny! Thanks for the laugh.

dorkkarl · February 5, 2004 4:04AM

amazing accuracy of detail information!

K S

MadMonk · February 5, 2004 4:19AM

That was a lot of fun to read Clankeye.
I do, if you don't mind, have one question.
Where did you get the spelling for:

"GAAAAAAAACCC----cCCC---lllkkkkkkkKKKK!!!!"

I couldnt find it in my American Oxford nor my Webster.

I also noticed that you had previously spelled the same word:

"GAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKK"

Are they interchangeable, or do they possibly have a differant meaning?

Oh, and my Frankies are protected, so don't get any ideas!

Clankeye · February 5, 2004 4:28AM

Madmonk--

I would suggest to you, that when being suspended two feet in the air by Sir Legend--spelling does not matter.

Clankeye

CarlWohlforth · February 5, 2004 4:28AM

What an excellent way to continue the Coinalot stories! Thanks for making my day brighter.

CoinAddict · February 5, 2004 4:35AM

Great conclusion, Carl. You have out done yourself once again.

CoinAddict · February 5, 2004 4:36AM

Once again I had a role in one of your stories. That is really cool.

MadMonk · February 5, 2004 4:42AM

<< <i>Madmonk--

I would suggest to you, that when being suspended two feet in the air by Sir Legend--spelling does not matter.

Clankeye >>

I see your point. At least Sir Legend didnt have him suspended by the Frankies!

XpipedreamR · February 5, 2004 5:17AM

Whitewashqtr · February 5, 2004 5:41AM

Excellent!! Bravo!! Spectacular!! Im still laughing and smiling "The only one in the entire world" LOL!!

Cam40 · February 5, 2004 6:11AM

Carl looks within and distillilates the essence of the soul.

Carl ? Have we been distillating again?.....SHAME ON YOU CARL......

MadMarty · February 5, 2004 6:26AM

Way to go Clank!!!

1jester · February 5, 2004 6:56AM

"In the garb of a jestor shall truth ring thruought the land.

Splendid, just splendid." --Wise Old Bear

I agree!

cosmicdebris · February 5, 2004 7:06AM

beartracks42 · February 5, 2004 7:08AM

beartracks42 · February 5, 2004 7:08AM

cladking · February 5, 2004 7:30AM

Excellet and it's great to see tokens and medals finally getting some recognition around here.

bulloncoins · February 5, 2004 7:38AM

Truly great writing! Thank you.

Clankeye · February 5, 2004 7:41AM

So I was hunched over the keyboard this morning, kind of snickering away... and my wife in the other room called out: "You're writing another one of those things again, aren't you? Oh God...."

Yeah, I was writing another one of those things.

Thank you all for the nice posts!

Clankeye