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"Good Morning Class" -- Dear Saint Feldolini
Clankeye
Posts: 3,928 ✭
In a dank room in The Abbey of Buyitnow, Saint Feldolini the Pious finishes a soup made from old socks and Grey Sheets. He is weary from riding three days by donkey from the Coinalot Coin Show. Still, he must write his weekly advice column. By candlelight he looks over the first question...
Dear Saint Feldolini,
When I hold my Ike dollar a certain way, I see an image of The Virgin. Are you aware of miracles happening in this series? Is it worth more money?
--A Hopeful Supercoin
Saint Feldolini writes...
Dear Hopeful,
Miracle smiracle! A good looking Ike dollar--now that would be a miracle! I got your miracle right here! Bite me.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
My child was born without state quarters. How might I raise him to be like other children?
--A concerned 2labmom
Dear Concerned,
He's a freak. He'll never fit in and no one will ever like him. Cut your losses--move on. Do us all a favor.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
My mother and father are divorced. She likes NGC and he likes PCGS. I'm getting married soon and I'm afraid they'll ruin my wedding. What should I do?
--A Nervous Luvdawgs
Dear Nervous,
Haven't got a clue. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to solve your own problems. You people--I swear to God! Saint Feldolini! My coin is pretty, is it worth anything???? Saint Feldolini! If my coin grew wings could it fly to Pittsburgh???? How the hell should I know? Think for yourself once a millenium!
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
Is there a Hell?
--A Just Wondering Wondercoin
Dear Wondering,
Yes, there is a Hell. But if you don't click on it, you don't have to go there.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini--
Is it true you can heal the sick and raise the dead?
--A Curious SethChandler
Dear Curious,
Do I look like NCS to you? If I could heal the sick you think I'd be hanging out here at the Abbey of Buyitnow? Hell no. I'd be on the beach in Florida with a couple of babes and basket full of brewskis.
Raise the dead? I can't even save a thread--let alone raise the dead! Get outta my head. 'Nuff said.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini--
You're getting rude! Last week you even told someone they sucked. You're supposed to be a Saint. Why don't you act like one?????
A Mad MacCoin
Dear Mad--
Well excuse me for being a human frickin' being!!! Maybe I was cranky because my feet got moldy after walking on water to the coin show! It ain't easy being a numismatic saint, pal! The line to kiss my ring starts around the block. I suggest you get in it!
--Saint F
Dear Saint Feldolini--
It's my father. He has managed to hide that he is totally blind for years. If he loses his job grading at PCGS our family will have nothing. What do we do?
--A Fearful Ursabear
Dear Fearful,
The odds of your father being discovered are a million to one. In the future don't waste my time with this crap!
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini--
Cool.
--A Reoccuring Airplanenut
Rather than answer, Saint Feldolini lays his quill down on the parchment. Yes... he is weary. He looks over at the rough board which he uses for a bed at the Abbey. He wishes that his burlap blankets were not so worn. The candle throws shadows off the dreary, cold walls of the room. Gently he removes a small bundle from a sack. With studied care, he folds back the cloth and removes his worldly treasure--a 1952 Washington Carver commemorative coin once touched by Clankeye the Great in the years before television. Reverently he presses it to his lips then makes the sign of the cross. Another long day in the life of a Numismatic Saint. With a great puff of hot air, Saint Feldolini blows out the candle, and gives himself over to blissful slumber.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
When I hold my Ike dollar a certain way, I see an image of The Virgin. Are you aware of miracles happening in this series? Is it worth more money?
--A Hopeful Supercoin
Saint Feldolini writes...
Dear Hopeful,
Miracle smiracle! A good looking Ike dollar--now that would be a miracle! I got your miracle right here! Bite me.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
My child was born without state quarters. How might I raise him to be like other children?
--A concerned 2labmom
Dear Concerned,
He's a freak. He'll never fit in and no one will ever like him. Cut your losses--move on. Do us all a favor.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
My mother and father are divorced. She likes NGC and he likes PCGS. I'm getting married soon and I'm afraid they'll ruin my wedding. What should I do?
--A Nervous Luvdawgs
Dear Nervous,
Haven't got a clue. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to solve your own problems. You people--I swear to God! Saint Feldolini! My coin is pretty, is it worth anything???? Saint Feldolini! If my coin grew wings could it fly to Pittsburgh???? How the hell should I know? Think for yourself once a millenium!
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini,
Is there a Hell?
--A Just Wondering Wondercoin
Dear Wondering,
Yes, there is a Hell. But if you don't click on it, you don't have to go there.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini--
Is it true you can heal the sick and raise the dead?
--A Curious SethChandler
Dear Curious,
Do I look like NCS to you? If I could heal the sick you think I'd be hanging out here at the Abbey of Buyitnow? Hell no. I'd be on the beach in Florida with a couple of babes and basket full of brewskis.
Raise the dead? I can't even save a thread--let alone raise the dead! Get outta my head. 'Nuff said.
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini--
You're getting rude! Last week you even told someone they sucked. You're supposed to be a Saint. Why don't you act like one?????
A Mad MacCoin
Dear Mad--
Well excuse me for being a human frickin' being!!! Maybe I was cranky because my feet got moldy after walking on water to the coin show! It ain't easy being a numismatic saint, pal! The line to kiss my ring starts around the block. I suggest you get in it!
--Saint F
Dear Saint Feldolini--
It's my father. He has managed to hide that he is totally blind for years. If he loses his job grading at PCGS our family will have nothing. What do we do?
--A Fearful Ursabear
Dear Fearful,
The odds of your father being discovered are a million to one. In the future don't waste my time with this crap!
--Saint F.
Dear Saint Feldolini--
Cool.
--A Reoccuring Airplanenut
Rather than answer, Saint Feldolini lays his quill down on the parchment. Yes... he is weary. He looks over at the rough board which he uses for a bed at the Abbey. He wishes that his burlap blankets were not so worn. The candle throws shadows off the dreary, cold walls of the room. Gently he removes a small bundle from a sack. With studied care, he folds back the cloth and removes his worldly treasure--a 1952 Washington Carver commemorative coin once touched by Clankeye the Great in the years before television. Reverently he presses it to his lips then makes the sign of the cross. Another long day in the life of a Numismatic Saint. With a great puff of hot air, Saint Feldolini blows out the candle, and gives himself over to blissful slumber.
Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
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Comments
<< <i> finishes a soup made from old socks and Grey Sheets >>
ROTFLMAO!!!! Whew! I didn't get shot!
and it sets us apart from practitioners and consultants. Gregor
<< <i>Saint Feldolini the Pious finishes a soup made from old socks and Grey Sheets >>
or, worse yet,
<< <i>Gently he removes a small bundle from a sack. With studied care, he folds back the cloth and removes his worldly treasure--a 1952 Washington Carver commemorative coin once touched by Clankeye the Great in the years before television >>
Either way, another great Monday - thanks.
PS - next question, anyone?
gentleman certainly deserves an entire story all to himself. It is the greatest honor
the Royal Bard can bestow upon a gentle and caring soul. Well done O Noble Bard, again you
have brought enlightenment and joy to all of the citizens of Coinalot.
Camelot
Jade Rare Coin eBay Listings
recombobulate. TGIM.
I'm assuminy the Abbey of Buyitnow overlooks the Bay of E. Can
he see the castle from there?
Will the catapult reach so far?
Oh yes. When Saint Feldolini is tired and does not have use of his donkey, he often just uses the Royal Catapult at Coinalot and has himself flung back home to the Abbey. It's quite a thrilling ride.
You get a birdseye view of the Bay of Eee on the journey also.
Clankeye
BTW, Knight NWCS needs a new moniker. How about Enchanter of Initials?
Neil
Camelot
<< <i>Yes, there is a Hell. But if you don't click on it, you don't have to go there. >>
Bwuahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Russ, NCNE
deal with. Thanks for making Monday bearable. No, more than bearable, fun.
We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
<< <i>How about Sir Initals Enchanter >>
I can work with that.
Camelot
Just who opperates these catapults over the Bay of Eee? Power Sellers? Perhaps Madam Havershame? Does Sir BlueMoon Coins take the knight shift?
Also, is it half a box of detergent per load, or a whole box?
"The silver is mine and the gold is mine,' declares the LORD GOD Almighty."
<< <i>Dear Saint Feldolini....How do I get my whites whiter? >>
Why, you "dip" them, of course. Next question?
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." -Luke 11:9
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might." -Deut. 6:4-5
"For the LORD is our judge, the LORD is our lawgiver, the LORD is our king; He will save us." -Isaiah 33:22
How can you make a frankie look good?!?!?!
Great story as usual, Sir Clank!!
Total Copper Nutcase - African, British Ships, Channel Islands!!!
'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup'
Joe
<< <i>Why don't Frankies look better enlongated? >>
Without commenting on any particular coin type, some coins don't look good (or "better"), no matter what you do to them.
ccrdragon - see above for answer to your question, too.
Big Mike <><
Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all that he has done. --Colossians 2:7
I even got a CAMeo spot!
Thank you for making my Mondays so much better.
<< <i>"If my blind father loses his job grading coins at PCGS......" Whoa!
Joe >>
Might explain the fingerprints, he is using braille method to grade.
<< <i>TDN, you asked
<< Why don't Frankies look better enlongated? >>
Without commenting on any particular coin type, some coins don't look good (or "better"), no matter what you do to them. >>
TRiple BANN'D!
"Senorita HepKitty"
"I want a real cool Kitty from Hepcat City, to stay in step with me" - Bill Carter
How do I become a featured player in a future story?
you an obnoxious Saint. In any event you remain a good, pleasent, knowledgable and helpful
human being and that is what really matters to us all. The little bear
Camelot
P.S. Who the heck is Saint Feldolini?
09/07/2006
problem as he is still alive and kicking. We figure 50 more years of coin shows
should take care of that.
Camelot
Come on over ... to The Dark Side!
Mike, that's really cute
Carl,
Your the Man, period - just got to read your gem - I'd grade it a 69 bordering on 70
Marc
Brian.
For those going through withdrawl.
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out
And my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me
That I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter
Won't you give me a call
Signed; Bewildered
PS
It should also be known
I've asked this about
Even of Prine in a song
The answers all tell me
That time is not tall
A post might be better
If you can find a lull.
-apologies to all who thought this was a new thread.
Which looks more natural, wig or implants? (does it even matter?)
What can the little guy do?
How does one make friends and influence uncles?
Thanks for the post.
cladking, I asked if you had a (as in one) question, not six!
Nevertheless, here goes:
1)"Where can I buy size 14 EEE shoes? (preferably "water" proof)" You should be able to find the shoes on the internet at: www.Size14EEE Shoes.notAAA-DDDsize.com
2) + 3) Which looks more natural, wig or implants? (does it even matter?)" Implants (not house plants) and no!
4) "What can the little guy do?" As much as or more than the big guy - he just doesn't get the same amount of attention when he does it.
5) + 6) "How does one make friends and influence uncles?" That's an easy one - flame coin dealers and/or attorneys and you will make more friends than you care to. In order to "influence uncles", I would recommend befriending (that's befriending, not beheading) aunts (not ants).
Somehow I'm going to have to find a way to incorporate that quote into my work week.
Absolute classic.