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"Good Morning Class" -- On the Move with Coinalot!

King ArtR and his Knights have returned from the Kingdom of Sleep. It is business as usual in Coinalot. King ArtR presides over a dispute between peasants
King ArtR (Yawning) So NoGvmnt... you purchased the "unopened proof sets" opened them up and found... what? A Willy Wonka Golden Ticket?
NoGvment: No, your Highness!
King ArtR: Naked pictures of yo mama...?
NoGvment: (sputtering) Y-Your Majesty there was haze!!!!!
King ArtR: Before or after the bong hit?
Oldguy: Heh-heh, good one, Sire!
King ArtR: Liked that one, did you Oldguy? Well how about this... I judgeth you both GUILTY! And I sentence you to read Coinage magazine! ....Cover to cover.
The court gasps
NoGvment: But dude!--
Oldguy: Your Majesty! 'Tis not my fault!
King ArtR: I judge it so! That I even heard this complaint... that my royal time was squandered... that I had to wander through this wasteland of accusation and counter accusation--'tis both your faults! As Squire Airplanenut would say--this was a ridiculous argument and everybody in the room is stupider for having heard it! I should have you both racked! Garroted! I would puketh but for the fact only SirAgentJim is allowed to do such. You should both be taking a ride on the Royal Catapult---
The doors to the great hall fly open, and there, framed in gold by the rays of the sun, is Carolj--Highpriestess of the Sheriff of Homerun Hall
Carolj: Put a sock it in ArtR! (sarcastically) Good Morning Class! IT'S MOVING DAY BOYS!
King ArtR: (Leaping to his feet) BY THE GODS!
Carolj: We're moving Coinalot lock, stock and codpiece!
--Silence--
Sir DCAMFranklin: I protest! There are no codpieces in Coinalot!
Carolj: Prove it!
The Knights look around sheepishly, shuffling their feet.
Sir MDwoods: But... but... why, M'lady?
Carolj: Cut the M'lady crap or I'll knock you on your planchet. (sweetly) Because it's not coin related! This is the land of coins! Coins, coins, and nothing but the coins! Got it???!!!!
Sir Madmonk: But we speaketh of coinage all the time!
Sir CarlWohlforth: Yea verily! Just the other day we were discussing the Earl of Compucheap's latest baked goods!
Sir NWCS: --And Sir Iwog's armor! Which seems to all unnaturally bright!
Carolj (motioning like an Umpire) YOU'RE OUTTA HEREEEEEEE!!!!!
See ya, losers!
With the snap of Carolj's fingers the entire court is plunged into darkness. The Lady Lucy of Bop avails herself of a massive lip-lock with Sir Cladking (noted pretty boy and heir to the Kingdom) The blackness is impenetrable
King ArtR: By the Gods!
The Archbishop of Coinguy1: What trick is this? I am blind.
Jester Shiroh: (shrieking) I CANNOT SEE YOUR MAJESTY!!!
King ArtR: (quietly) Jester Shiroh...
Jester Shiroh: Yes, Sire...?
King ArtR: Remove thy hand from the Royal Buttock.
Jester Shiroh: Sorry, Sire... me thought it was a handrail.
Sir Shylock: Such blackness, your Majesty! Where are we?
A deep voice is heard. It seems to surround them
WELCOME TO THE DARKSIDE!
Sir 09sVDB: Who goes there!!!!!?? Show yourself that we might fight you!
The Voice: I am The Sorcerer Askari. Conjurer of The Dark. We do not fight on the Darkside.
Sir Legend: NOT FIGHT!!!? Ridiculous! What do you do over here?
Sorcerer Askari: We take tea. And we discuss the balance of life and the delicate infrastructure which supports it.
--Silence--
Chaos erupts, There is screaming and a great gnashing of teeth
King ArtR: CAROLJ!!!!!! CAROLJ!!!! I BESEECH THEE!! MERCY! COINALOT CAN NOT FLOURISH HERE!!!
With a snap of CarolJ's magic fingers, ArtR and his Knights find themselves standing before a huge gate.
The Archbishop of Coinguy1: (calling out) Hello...?
Morris the Miser: This is the Registry Kingdom! 'Tis owned by Lord Wondercoin! Go away!
King ArtR: But we are refugees in search of shelter!
Morris: Have you coinage to sell?
King ArtR: Only raw!
Morris: GO AWAY!!!!!!
King ArtR: CAROLJ!!!!! (falling to his knees) I BEG THEE!!!!!
Once again the fingers are snapped and King ArtR and his Knights find themselves in a landscape hellish beyond imagination. There are flying lizards, deformed chickens, cauldrons spewing gaseous omissions and a stench quite foul.
Sir Baccaruda: ...Oh my god, your Majesty... (horrified) we are in the OPEN LANDS!
Airplanenut: Cool!
King ArtR: BY THE GODS! 'Twill be the death of us all! If the Sheriff of Homerun Hall plots to destroy us he could devise nothing worse!
Clw54: Feels like home to me!
Sir Julian: I have heard of this place. The Thing goes bump in the night! The air is filled with the shrieks of those for whom logic has become a mirage--they hang from ropes which they themselves have meted out length by length! IT IS UNHOLY YOUR MAJESTY!!!!!!!
Friar Fatman: (pulling out a crucifix and shaking it in the air) THE POWER OF CHIRST COMPELS THEE!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE!!!
King ArtR: (screaming) CAAROOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
The fingers are snapped and ArtR and his Knights find themselves back in the sweet confines of Coinalot. They fall to their knees and hug the earth.
Carolj: Happy now?
King ArtR: (kissing the hem of her skirt) Most gracious Lady! My Beacon! My Queen!
Carolj: And what did we learn today....?
--Silence--
Nogvmnt: (wrinkling brow) Um... Oldguy is a crook?
CarolJ: (head in hand) I don't get paid enough for this.
All: BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
King ArtR (Yawning) So NoGvmnt... you purchased the "unopened proof sets" opened them up and found... what? A Willy Wonka Golden Ticket?
NoGvment: No, your Highness!
King ArtR: Naked pictures of yo mama...?
NoGvment: (sputtering) Y-Your Majesty there was haze!!!!!
King ArtR: Before or after the bong hit?
Oldguy: Heh-heh, good one, Sire!
King ArtR: Liked that one, did you Oldguy? Well how about this... I judgeth you both GUILTY! And I sentence you to read Coinage magazine! ....Cover to cover.
The court gasps
NoGvment: But dude!--
Oldguy: Your Majesty! 'Tis not my fault!
King ArtR: I judge it so! That I even heard this complaint... that my royal time was squandered... that I had to wander through this wasteland of accusation and counter accusation--'tis both your faults! As Squire Airplanenut would say--this was a ridiculous argument and everybody in the room is stupider for having heard it! I should have you both racked! Garroted! I would puketh but for the fact only SirAgentJim is allowed to do such. You should both be taking a ride on the Royal Catapult---
The doors to the great hall fly open, and there, framed in gold by the rays of the sun, is Carolj--Highpriestess of the Sheriff of Homerun Hall
Carolj: Put a sock it in ArtR! (sarcastically) Good Morning Class! IT'S MOVING DAY BOYS!
King ArtR: (Leaping to his feet) BY THE GODS!
Carolj: We're moving Coinalot lock, stock and codpiece!
--Silence--
Sir DCAMFranklin: I protest! There are no codpieces in Coinalot!
Carolj: Prove it!
The Knights look around sheepishly, shuffling their feet.
Sir MDwoods: But... but... why, M'lady?
Carolj: Cut the M'lady crap or I'll knock you on your planchet. (sweetly) Because it's not coin related! This is the land of coins! Coins, coins, and nothing but the coins! Got it???!!!!
Sir Madmonk: But we speaketh of coinage all the time!
Sir CarlWohlforth: Yea verily! Just the other day we were discussing the Earl of Compucheap's latest baked goods!
Sir NWCS: --And Sir Iwog's armor! Which seems to all unnaturally bright!
Carolj (motioning like an Umpire) YOU'RE OUTTA HEREEEEEEE!!!!!
See ya, losers!
With the snap of Carolj's fingers the entire court is plunged into darkness. The Lady Lucy of Bop avails herself of a massive lip-lock with Sir Cladking (noted pretty boy and heir to the Kingdom) The blackness is impenetrable
King ArtR: By the Gods!
The Archbishop of Coinguy1: What trick is this? I am blind.
Jester Shiroh: (shrieking) I CANNOT SEE YOUR MAJESTY!!!
King ArtR: (quietly) Jester Shiroh...
Jester Shiroh: Yes, Sire...?
King ArtR: Remove thy hand from the Royal Buttock.
Jester Shiroh: Sorry, Sire... me thought it was a handrail.
Sir Shylock: Such blackness, your Majesty! Where are we?
A deep voice is heard. It seems to surround them
WELCOME TO THE DARKSIDE!
Sir 09sVDB: Who goes there!!!!!?? Show yourself that we might fight you!
The Voice: I am The Sorcerer Askari. Conjurer of The Dark. We do not fight on the Darkside.
Sir Legend: NOT FIGHT!!!? Ridiculous! What do you do over here?
Sorcerer Askari: We take tea. And we discuss the balance of life and the delicate infrastructure which supports it.
--Silence--
Chaos erupts, There is screaming and a great gnashing of teeth
King ArtR: CAROLJ!!!!!! CAROLJ!!!! I BESEECH THEE!! MERCY! COINALOT CAN NOT FLOURISH HERE!!!
With a snap of CarolJ's magic fingers, ArtR and his Knights find themselves standing before a huge gate.
The Archbishop of Coinguy1: (calling out) Hello...?
Morris the Miser: This is the Registry Kingdom! 'Tis owned by Lord Wondercoin! Go away!
King ArtR: But we are refugees in search of shelter!
Morris: Have you coinage to sell?
King ArtR: Only raw!
Morris: GO AWAY!!!!!!
King ArtR: CAROLJ!!!!! (falling to his knees) I BEG THEE!!!!!
Once again the fingers are snapped and King ArtR and his Knights find themselves in a landscape hellish beyond imagination. There are flying lizards, deformed chickens, cauldrons spewing gaseous omissions and a stench quite foul.
Sir Baccaruda: ...Oh my god, your Majesty... (horrified) we are in the OPEN LANDS!
Airplanenut: Cool!
King ArtR: BY THE GODS! 'Twill be the death of us all! If the Sheriff of Homerun Hall plots to destroy us he could devise nothing worse!
Clw54: Feels like home to me!
Sir Julian: I have heard of this place. The Thing goes bump in the night! The air is filled with the shrieks of those for whom logic has become a mirage--they hang from ropes which they themselves have meted out length by length! IT IS UNHOLY YOUR MAJESTY!!!!!!!
Friar Fatman: (pulling out a crucifix and shaking it in the air) THE POWER OF CHIRST COMPELS THEE!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS THEE!!!
King ArtR: (screaming) CAAROOOOLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
The fingers are snapped and ArtR and his Knights find themselves back in the sweet confines of Coinalot. They fall to their knees and hug the earth.
Carolj: Happy now?
King ArtR: (kissing the hem of her skirt) Most gracious Lady! My Beacon! My Queen!
Carolj: And what did we learn today....?
--Silence--
Nogvmnt: (wrinkling brow) Um... Oldguy is a crook?
CarolJ: (head in hand) I don't get paid enough for this.
All: BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Brevity is the soul of wit. --William Shakespeare
0
Comments
<Jeremy mode>COOL!</Jeremy mode>
Russ, NCNE
Total Copper Nutcase - African, British Ships, Channel Islands!!!
'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup'
Love the new characters:
Sir NWCS (my favorite)
Morris the Miser
Sorcerer Askari
Friar Fatman
Thanks for making it a great Monday, Clank!
<< <i>
The Thing goes bump in the night! The air is filled with the shrieks of those for whom logic has become a mirage--they hang from ropes which they themselves have meted out length by length!
>>
One of your best lines yet!
I've never been accused of being a noted pretty boy before, but it was a very nice roll!
quote repair, wink addition.
Thanks again,
Dan
And Bwahahahahahahahaha!
And non-puketh!
And, oh well, you get the idea.
Thank you Sir Clank for this most mirthful of missives!
It feels good to be "home" again.
Thank you (again), Sir Clank!
thanks for another true gem - another masterpiece.
Marc
<< <i>Thank you (again), Sir Clank! >>
As much as I might aspire to knighthood, I am but a humble scribe.
(and an off-topic one at that!)
Clankeye
<< <i>
<< <i>Thank you (again), Sir Clank! >>
As much as I might aspire to knighthood, I am but a humble scribe.
(and an off-topic one at that!)
Clankeye >>
"Sir Madmonk: But we speaketh of coinage all the time!"
You did it again made my Monday a little lighter!!!!!!!!!! (LOL)
Thanks
Paul
We'll use our hands and hearts and if we must we'll use our heads.
forth upon the good land of Coinalot. Just as I come to believeth that Sir Clank could not topeth
himself, he goes and topeths himself. By the way, the little bear is very happy to again not be
shot in the story. My many bullet holes from past stories are healing nicely thank you.
Truly this wonderful story has gladdened my heart, lifted my mood and make life on the Coin Forum
worth living again. Thank your Sir Clank, Royal Bard Exaulted.
Camelot
The reason you were not shot is that gun powder has not been invented yet.
Those crossbows though can be a world of hurt!
Clankeye
<< <i>The reason you were not shot is that gun powder has not been invented yet.
Those crossbows though can be a world of hurt! >>
Don't forget the bear traps. Everyone needs a bearskin rug.
Just kidding, bear.
"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ArtR and attended to with diligence."
Another fine piece of work, Clankeye.
New collectors, please educate yourself before spending money on coins; there are people who believe that using numismatic knowledge to rip the naïve is what this hobby is all about.
Thanks, Clank, for another classic! I see your creative juices are flowing full tilt again.
Here's a warning parable for coin collectors...
Pennies make dollars, and dollars make slabs!
....inflation must be kicking in again this dollar says spend by Dec. 31 2004!
Erik
PS - I was happy to read that your assurance Sir DCAMFranklin would survive the fall, has come to fruition.
Brian
09/07/2006
2 Cam-Slams!
1 Russ POTD!
<< <i>.... I never knew who ArtR was??? >>
I kind of wonder if the real ArtR knows who he is--at least in Coinalot. Poor guy, I've never asked him if he minds being the reigning monarch in this Kingdom of characters. In fact, for all I know ArtR has never read one of these. LOL.
He is nonetheless my beloved ruler and Sovereign.
Clankeye
09/07/2006
ArtR is a forum member. He doesn't post much. But he does post occasionally here and on the NGC forum. He has a fine eye for toned Morgan dollars. He knows his coins.
Unfortunately for him, I picked him because ArtR is a bit like Ar-thur. And who can be King but Arthur?
Clankeye
Aldous Huxley
Yabba dabba doo.
Fred Flintstone
Ebay name: bhil3
<< <i>He's back!!!!!!!!
<Jeremy mode>COOL!</Jeremy mode>
Russ, NCNE >>
Or, in my personal mode... Cool
<< <i>As Squire Airplanenut would say--this was a ridiculous argument and everybody in the room is stupider for having heard it! I should have you both racked! >>
That was quite a long time ago... bravo for remembering a classic!!!
Squire Airplanenut
Quite accurate about our friendly darkside. Well done!
-john
PM with info.
Auction Sniper For all your sniping needs. Tell them I sent you and I'll get three free snipes!
e-bay ID= 29john29
DAN
My first tassa slap 3/3/04
My shiny cents