Does anyone else find that buying jewelry is just as stressful as making a decision on a coin?

Longacre · March 21, 2008 4:45AM

Continuing my vacation, and considering the importance of self-preservation, I decided to go shopping for Mrs. L.'s birthday present (it's a big birthday--the big 4-0

). Because it is a milestone birthday, I guess I am forced to get a BIG present (or else bad things may happen to Longacre). Unfortunately, I broke my cardinal rule today-- never, ever buy jewelry, especially not in a jewelry store. Rather than going to Tiffany's (they surely have enough of my money), I decided to go to another store. From the minute I walked in, I knew I was out of my league. There were impeccably dressed salespeople, and cases upon cases full of jewels. It was an extremely stressful experience, because I felt as though I was not in a position of power, especially sitting at those little chairs across the case, as the salesperson towered over me.

Needless to say, I could not wait to get out of there, and ended up buying something, that I am sure was extremely overpriced. I sort of compared it to trying to buy a coin at a coin shop or at a show. For some reason, I feel an incredible amount of pressure to make a decision on the spot, and I never quite feel as though I took the time necessary to fully analyze the situation or the coin. I suppose I should just continue to buy coins on approval, and just make purchases at Tiffany.com.

PS. I stuck it to the jewelry store, though, because I ate about ten of those fancy Danish butter cookies that they had on the counter in the 30 minutes that I was there.

droopyd · March 21, 2008 4:48AM

we generally prefer high-end electronics over jewelry in our house.... both have about the same long-term investment potential.

roadrunner · March 21, 2008 4:51AM

More stressfull. Knowing that I'm paying 6X to 10X over cost drives me nuts. I did it once for wedding bands but never since. I know buy from coin dealers who can wholesale me their better stuff. Besides, my wife would rather have an 1856 FE cent and I'm still trying to figure out how to do that.

roadrunner

droopyd · March 21, 2008 4:55AM

<< I did it once for wedding bands but never since. >>

Ours are now worth 3 times what we paid for them 5 years ago, even at the inflated prices over PM value that jewelers charge.

jmski52 · March 21, 2008 4:57AM

Don't go making any Jack Benny jokes, like....... "life begins at 39," or anything of the sort.

Lionel · March 21, 2008 4:58AM

It's way more stressful because my wife has to like the jewelry. She doesn't have to like coins.

JoesMaName · March 21, 2008 4:59AM

<< More stressfull. Knowing that I'm paying 6X to 10X over cost drives me nuts.
... >>

This same knowledge eases my angst.

I know I'll be dragged over the coals no matter what, so if she likes the looks; that's the right piece!

SanctionII · March 21, 2008 5:05AM

Did the store you bought the bling from give you a fancy certificate formally appraising the value of your new purchase at twice what you paid for it?

That has happened to me a couple of times. One day I will take the jewelery and the appraisal certificate to the jewlery store and ask them if they would buy it back at 10-20% back of the "appraised" value.

Even now I can imagine the chagrine on my face when I am told the jewelry is worth 20% of what i paid for it and that the appraisal certificate means nothing.

mgoodm3 · March 21, 2008 5:10AM

I presume you used the 3 months salary rule?

...maybe it should be 6 months for Mrs. L

RegistryCoin · March 21, 2008 5:13AM

I learned from a "coin buddy" to check Costco when it's time to give your significant other an "offsetting" gift. You may find that their quality and price, and their reward/rebate thingie, make the difference.

2bits · March 21, 2008 5:13AM

A little hint about Jewelry !!

Forget about Buying Pre made Jewelry ,,if you want your moneys worth ?? have it custom made and no stones unless you already own them and have them set in your new custom piece !!

I think you would be surprised what you can have crafted from gold !! and how competitive the cost is !!

AskRaq · March 21, 2008 5:14AM

I am at a total loss as to why anyone pays retail at a high-end jewelry store.........

The nicest & most unique jewelry I have ever owned were beautiful pieces that I picked up at pawn shops - at about 20-25% of retail prices.

Then again, I have 'uncommon' taste, therefore all the *junk* jewelry from big name jewelry stores doesn't appeal to me as much because it's common & boring.

I've even picked up a couple stunning pieces on eBay & other online auctions ~

BECOKA · March 21, 2008 5:17AM

My wife hates surprises. I will end up taking her out and letting her choose my fate.

clouisejewelers · March 21, 2008 5:31AM

<< A little hint about Jewelry !!

Forget about Buying Pre made Jewelry ,,if you want your moneys worth ?? have it custom made and no stones unless you already own them and have them set in your new custom piece !!

I think you would be surprised what you can have crafted from gold !! and how competitive the cost is !! >>

This is stunningly bad advice. You pay a huge premium for custom made jewelry that you will never reap when you sell it. All the extra labor involved in making a custom piece is lost forever. Here's a simple(rough) example:

1) manufactured piece weighing 10 grams of 14K. Retail cost $300 melt value $150(at today's prices).

2) custom piece weighing 10 grams of 14K. Gold cost $250, custom labor cost $250(instead of $50 for the manufactured piece), melt value still $150.

So the custom piece cost you $500 versus $300 for the manufactured piece and you will only get $150 if you ever scrap it.

Fairlaneman · March 21, 2008 5:39AM

Stress is derived from something you most likely do not like to do or care for. Buying a present for your wife or coins for yourself are things you do not like to do? Better find a new hobby and wife.

Ken

IGWT · March 21, 2008 5:46AM

A little help for you, Longacre.

BECOKA · March 21, 2008 5:48AM

<< A little help for you, Longacre.

>>

60% off of what and they still make a profit.

Barndog · March 21, 2008 6:00AM

<< 

<< A little help for you, Longacre.

>>

60% off of what and they still make a profit. >>

more savings here:

Dentuck · March 21, 2008 7:03AM

I find the hulking security brutes (in dark suits, trying to be inconspicuous) to be stressful. You don't get that in the typical mom-and-pop coin shop.

mrearlygold · March 21, 2008 7:11AM

Oh cmon now, stop being a wimp. Just take a stroll down 47th St , walk into one of the larger stores, whip out that wad-o-cash and make a deal

mrearlygold · March 21, 2008 7:12AM

fc · March 21, 2008 7:17AM

well you have to give credit to the jewelry marketing/advertising
agencies if most men feel this way about presents to their wives.

i really enjoy the fact my gf is from overseas and thinks EVERYTHING
here is too expensive and not worth buying.

i can just hear her now state "5500? for a ring? are you crazy?"
ahh. she thinks shoes that cost more then 50 bucks is outrageous.

yup, she is a keeper.

jessewvu · March 21, 2008 7:17AM

I spent more money on my wife's engagement ring than the two most expensive coins I have ever purchased, combined. Helzeberg Diamonds is a pile of crap, i will never ever buy something from there after the wringer they put me through as I was trying to "negotiate" a price on her ring and our wedding ring set.

It was WAY stressful and to top it all off, I was in Sweden when I purchased it. I got it from Blue Nile (it's .com), very nice stuff. I liked it so much that I bought her wedding gift there too.

I think it was stressful for me because the ring is “forever”, coin’s come and go. I had one chance to get it right.

tradedollarnut · March 21, 2008 7:21AM

<< I learned from a "coin buddy" to check Costco when it's time to give your significant other an "offsetting" gift. You may find that their quality and price, and their reward/rebate thingie, make the difference. >>

Costco has some nice stuff at reasonable prices.

Lakesammman · March 21, 2008 7:28AM

With coins, it takes longer to realize you just threw away half your money.

SeattleSlammer · March 21, 2008 7:31AM

pretty Danish butter cookies at the jewelry counter?

we sure don't shop at the same stores.

Nysoto · March 21, 2008 7:47AM

Jewelry is a money loser no matter which route you take. Mrs Nysoto has developed a nickel allergy, which means she can't wear her gold jewelry because of the nickel content. You would think this would save money for Mr Nysoto, except she has been replacing the gold with platinum jewelry the past couple of years

Coinosaurus · March 21, 2008 8:44AM

The best way to buy jewelry is at a gold souk in the middle east. They charge about 10% over melt. You almost feel good about it

I still have never seen a satisfactory explanation for why the secondary diamond market can't compete with the retailers.

ebaytrader · March 21, 2008 8:45AM

<< Jewelry is a money loser no matter which route you take. Mrs Nysoto has developed a nickel allergy, which means she can't wear her gold jewelry because of the nickel content. You would think this would save money for Mr Nysoto, except she has been replacing the gold with platinum jewelry the past couple of years

>>

tmot99 · March 21, 2008 9:09AM

My local coin dealer also has a jewelry shop. Because of the business I've done with coins, I usually get a nice discount on the jewelry side. He gets some really nice bling and a lot of it is one-of-a-kind.

We also have Jeweller's Row downtown Chicago. You go into the buildings and it's a bunch of small offices that are jewelers. Not that intimidating, but lots of competition and nice stuff.

Barry · March 21, 2008 9:45AM

Being the world traveler that you are, Longacre, you should know better.

You should be shopping on 47th St., or the other, smaller diamond district on Canal near Bowery. If you want a recommendation for a jeweler we've dealt with for 20 years, PM me.

Longacre · March 21, 2008 10:34AM

<< 

<< A little hint about Jewelry !!

Forget about Buying Pre made Jewelry ,,if you want your moneys worth ?? have it custom made and no stones unless you already own them and have them set in your new custom piece !!

I think you would be surprised what you can have crafted from gold !! and how competitive the cost is !! >>

This is stunningly bad advice. You pay a huge premium for custom made jewelry that you will never reap when you sell it. All the extra labor involved in making a custom piece is lost forever. Here's a simple(rough) example:

1) manufactured piece weighing 10 grams of 14K. Retail cost $300 melt value $150(at today's prices).

2) custom piece weighing 10 grams of 14K. Gold cost $250, custom labor cost $250(instead of $50 for the manufactured piece), melt value still $150.

So the custom piece cost you $500 versus $300 for the manufactured piece and you will only get $150 if you ever scrap it. >>

I swear I have the word Sucker painted on my forehead. I bought a custom made piece.

RichieURich · March 21, 2008 10:38AM

<< The best way to buy jewelry is at a gold souk in the middle east. They charge about 10% over melt. You almost feel good about it

I still have never seen a satisfactory explanation for why the secondary diamond market can't compete with the retailers. >>

The reason for this is that the diamond market, in my opinion, is price-fixing at its best. That's why the markups are huge.

Longacre · March 21, 2008 10:41AM

<< 

<< The best way to buy jewelry is at a gold souk in the middle east. They charge about 10% over melt. You almost feel good about it

I still have never seen a satisfactory explanation for why the secondary diamond market can't compete with the retailers. >>

The reason for this is that the diamond market, in my opinion, is price-fixing at its best. That's why the markups are huge. >>

In our beloved coin world, we simply call that The Well-Managed Promotion.

PerryHall · March 21, 2008 8:56PM

HLRC used to have a jewelry department where they sold fine jewelry at reasonable prices. Do any coin dealers currently sell jewelry in addition to their usual numismatic stock?

tjkillian · March 21, 2008 10:09PM

I look at buying jewelry like I would a vacation or going out to dinner: the money will never be recovered. However, she may enjoy that piece of jewelry for years on end. Sort of like buying a painting or a sculpture that only your wife likes. My wife likes her jewelry and I never bring her with me when I buy it, so I can spend what I like and she seems to REALLY like what I buy her. It is all low-cost (<$1000).

Coinosaurus · March 22, 2008 12:38AM

<< The reason for this is that the diamond market, in my opinion, is price-fixing at its best. That's why the markups are huge. >>

No question this is true on the retail side. But if you could put certified diamonds in slabs, and sell 'em over the Internet with little overhead, the buy/sell spread should be substantially smaller, no?

I only see a couple issues here.

* Getting the public to accept a third party certification - it's one thing to do this in the coin market where you are dealing with maybe 10,000 serious buyers. Quite a different thing with hundreds of millions of people. In some ways we take for granted that PCGS and NGC are very widely accepted in our little corner of the world.

* The supply of diamonds coming into the secondary market is probably smaller than the number of diamonds coming out of the mines - but this is partly due to the fact there is no widely known secondary exchange. If people could easily move in and out of diamonds as collectibles or investments, they probably would.

clouisejewelers · March 22, 2008 1:01AM

There are third party "slabs" for diamonds. They are called third party grading certificates. The quality of these certificates(certs) varies dramatically, just like the quality and reputation of various coin grading services. GIA is synonomous to PCGS, they are very strict graders. EGL is like ANACS or ICG, everything is overgraded by 1-2 grades on clarity, color, or both. Then there are various homemade certs that aren't worth the paper they are printed on, just like these homemade slabs you used to see on ebay that graded everything a 69 or 70 even if it was nowhere near that grade.

pendragon1998 · March 22, 2008 1:05AM

No kidding. I used to have an absolutely excellent jeweler, who'd shoot the $hit with me and who'd offer all sorts of advice about the bling, women, and life in general. I loved that guy and although he offered good deals on everything, I'd have been willing to spend more than that just because he treated me (a poor young fella) fairly and equally. Sadly, he left the business to take care of an ailing mother, and ever since then, I haven't been able to locate a place that wasn't trying (blatantly) to rip me completely off.

After several years, I realized that my darling wife isn't particularly good about keeping up with the jewelry anyway, so I just quit buying anything much nicer than I can get at Target (pronounced tar-zhey) and she seems to be just as happy with the $20 stuff as she was with the $200. I can only pray that that fact never changes.

fastrudy · March 22, 2008 1:41AM

jewellry? Ha! You thought the US Mint was bad? Try deBeers! They control diamonds with a death grip.

All of my jewels to the Mrs. are stones purchased at wholesale and set locally. For example, purchased a diamond for $1800 wholesale. Got it set in a presentation setting (for my engagement), went across the street for a "free appraisal". Came in at $5400. I love purchasing jewellry. Would never go to a retail shop, however.

trozau · March 22, 2008 2:20AM

No worries. After buying, have it appraised by a gemologist and if it does not appraise for at least double then just return it for credit. This is with the caveat that the wife has NOT seen it yet and have fallen in love with it.

Rupert305 · March 22, 2008 2:27AM

Only when I had to buy my wife her engagement ring.

Can I afford this much money? Will she think I'm cheap?
Will she think the diamond is too small? Should I get a bigger diamond with a worst color, cut and clarity?
Should I buy that one and spend the next few years paying for it?

That was one stressful day..

fastrudy · March 22, 2008 2:58AM

Will she think the diamond is too small? Should I get a bigger diamond with a worst color, cut and clarity?

As with coins, buy the best quality available. Go smaller rather than worse quality. Mine are VVS1 grade and expensive per carat, but they are one grade away from internally flawless. Neither of them even approach 1 carat (they are .63 and .50 carat), but they sure do sparkle!

And get a GIA appraisal for your stone. When going to a jeweler for setting, always say your grandmother left you the stone. They get really PO'd if you tell them you bought it elsewhere and want them to only set it.

TwoSides2aCoin · March 22, 2008 3:14AM

Buying jewelry is only stressful when she's mad. I don't like buying candy or flowers during this time, either.

But what's a guy to do for his own stupidity ?

Stress !

vplite · March 22, 2008 3:56AM

I had an irritating experience recently when I thought I had lost my 9 year old wedding band. I went to a number of retail jewelers and got prices of $600 - $900 to replace a ring I paid $200 for 8 years ago. The reason usually given was the increase in the price of gold. What really irritated me was the fact that they were using that excuse to jack up the price of a 14k ring that could not have had more than 1/4 oz. of gold.

I agree with the posters who say the markup in jewelery is obscene. Triple keystone (300%) is the general minimum. I have tested this. I bought a pair of diamond earrings, with my wife, at one pawn shop at a great price ($900 1 TCW). We went to another pawn shop and were offered $300. An education for me and my wife. Anecdotal evidence to be sure, but it confirmed what I have been told by knowledgeable people.

I also agree with the posters who say that you have to bite the bullet and make momma happy. If she is happy, you might be happy, if she is not happy, you have no chance of being happy.

droopyd · March 22, 2008 4:23AM

<< For example, purchased a diamond for $1800 wholesale. Got it set in a presentation setting (for my engagement), went across the street for a "free appraisal". Came in at $5400. >>

So did they pay you in cash or did they write a check?

drwstr123 · March 22, 2008 4:34AM

I was brought up in the trade. (Grandfather, Father, Uncle) I don't buy jewelry. I buy Gold. Mike

puritan9 · March 22, 2008 4:46AM

I was at a jewelry store yesterday and had on a gold rope chain that I bought for $300 at BJ's years ago. I know it had about 5/8th+ of an ounce of pure gold in it. When I asked what it was worth to buy it today, he said $1400. When I asked what I could get for it (I wasn't selling it) he said $400. The gold alone in it was worth about $500+, and the chain was perfect. What these people with your jewelry.

fastrudy · March 22, 2008 5:07AM

So did they pay you in cash or did they write a check?

The appraisal is not the same as the buy price. This was my wife's engagement ring, no desire to sell it.

droopyd · March 22, 2008 5:27AM

<< So did they pay you in cash or did they write a check?

The appraisal is not the same as the buy price. This was my wife's engagement ring, no desire to sell it. >>

I understand that you don't want to sell it - but the appraisal is worthless if it's not an actual price that someone is willing to pay for the piece.

clouisejewelers · March 22, 2008 5:29AM

<< So did they pay you in cash or did they write a check?

The appraisal is not the same as the buy price. This was my wife's engagement ring, no desire to sell it. >>

That's the point he was trying to make. The appraisal is worthless because it has no bearing on what the piece is actually worth.

Does anyone else find that buying jewelry is just as stressful as making a decision on a coin?

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