An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond!
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We're not coming out until you leave!”
The old man frowned, “I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.
Holding the bucket up he said, “I'm here to feed the alligator.”
Some old men can still think fast....
Rivka brought her limp and obviously dead pet duck into Dr. Bernstein, the veterinarian's office.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry lady, your duck has passed away.”
Rivka, the distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure, are you really sure?”
“Yes, I’m quite sure. The duck is dead,” the vet replied.
“How can you be so sure?” Rivka protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As Rivka looked on in amazement, the lab stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the dead duck from top to bottom. The lab then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the lab and took it out and returned a few moments later with a cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at Rivka and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill which he handed to Rivka.
Rivka, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!”, she cried. “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?”
The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry.” “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I liked watching these cartoons as a kid. Those were the days. I still watch Cartons every Saturday moring as a big and older KID
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USAF (Ret) The purpose of Bourbon is to make you feel like you should feel WITHOUT Bourbon. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond!
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We're not coming out until you leave!”
The old man frowned, “I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.
Holding the bucket up he said, “I'm here to feed the alligator.”
Some old men can still think fast....
Rivka brought her limp and obviously dead pet duck into Dr. Bernstein, the veterinarian's office.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry lady, your duck has passed away.”
Rivka, the distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure, are you really sure?”
“Yes, I’m quite sure. The duck is dead,” the vet replied.
“How can you be so sure?” Rivka protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As Rivka looked on in amazement, the lab stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the dead duck from top to bottom. The lab then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the lab and took it out and returned a few moments later with a cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at Rivka and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill which he handed to Rivka.
Rivka, still in shock, took the bill. “$150!”, she cried. “$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?”
The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry.” “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $150.”
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members