USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
Jim was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Jim took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Jim asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Jim asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red-light district instead of food?" Jim asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed homeless man.
"Well," said Jim, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Gayle."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
Jim replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex."
A city boy, Jamie, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
Jamie replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Jamie said, "OK, then just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Jamie: "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Jamie: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Jamie and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Jamie: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 apiece and made a profit of $998.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Jamie: "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his $2 back."
"Doe, a deer, a female deer"....
.
.
"Ray, a drop of golden sun".......
.
.
"Mi, a name, I call my self".......
.
.
"Fa, a long, long, way to run"...
.
.
So, a needle pulling thread...
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USAF (Ret) 1974 - 1994 - The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries. Remembering RickO, a brother in arms.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
I helped my wife decorate some cookies tonight. I think these Raindeers are winners too.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Looks like a picture from my high school reunion
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Looks like an expensive DOWN GRADE to me
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Just in time for the Christmas stocking
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Jim was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Jim took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Jim asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Jim asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red-light district instead of food?" Jim asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed homeless man.
"Well," said Jim, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Gayle."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
Jim replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex."
A city boy, Jamie, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
Jamie replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Jamie said, "OK, then just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Jamie: "I'm going to raffle him off."
Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Jamie: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Jamie and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Jamie: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 apiece and made a profit of $998.00."
Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"
Jamie: "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his $2 back."
Two good ones above. I actually did LOL. I think we used to call the donkey story a “shaggy dog” story.
It would be a great truck if it had a cup holder
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Santa and hie VW Bug
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
"Doe, a deer, a female deer"....
.
.
"Ray, a drop of golden sun".......
.
.
"Mi, a name, I call my self".......
.
.
"Fa, a long, long, way to run"...
.
.
So, a needle pulling thread...
.
.Tea anyone ?.........................
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
You can also use the oar to stab fish or Alligators too.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
A welding class project - still a little short
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members