An attractive blonde arrived at the craps table and when it was her turn to shoot she bet $20,000 on the pass line. She said, "I hope you boys don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude," With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know, I thought you were watching."
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house.
We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn’t want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night.
So, she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, I got into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid thing was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her a$s with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a$s downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not s–t in the vegetable garden again!”
The silence in the cab was deafening.
If I get pulled over driving under suspicion of a dui,
Jim, Beam....... would be the last two words on my mind.
Although , thinking a good opening line may be, whiskey tango ?
Comments
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Another Taco Bell moment
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
One angry post...
An attractive blonde arrived at the craps table and when it was her turn to shoot she bet $20,000 on the pass line. She said, "I hope you boys don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude," With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other, dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know, I thought you were watching."
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house.
We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn’t want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night.
So, she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, I got into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as we drove away. “That stupid thing was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her a$s with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a$s downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not s–t in the vegetable garden again!”
The silence in the cab was deafening.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Love the custom paint job - no problem locating whatever this is.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Pomtiac Aztek
Not even close. fElon wins by a mile.
Six leagues away please. I'm getting your backwash, Sonya.
If I get pulled over driving under suspicion of a dui,
Jim, Beam....... would be the last two words on my mind.
Although , thinking a good opening line may be, whiskey tango ?
Meanwhile back at the ranch .................
My coin collection is branching out.
I've now started a photo, flint rock, gun collection.
What ?
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Is this the episode where an alien probe controls his mind
and he lives the life of a scientist from a past world?
Yes
DPOTD-3
'Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery'
CU #3245 B.N.A. #428
Don
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members