An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
The other day I had the opportunity to drop by my department head's office. He's a friendly guy and, on the rare opportunities that I have to pay him a visit, we have had enjoyable conversations.
While I was in his office, I asked him, "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.
"Being of sound mind," read the lawyer, "I spent every last cent before I died."
Ever since I was a child, I've always had an irrational fear of someone being under my bed at night.
So, I went to a shrink and confessed, “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?” I inquired.
“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor and I meet on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year would cost me $12,480.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I bought myself a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
Comments
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
Cheers, RickO
Cheers, RickO
This idea I gotta steal.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
It was in 1969 which is 54 years ago this summer.
Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe.
"Paper money eventually returns to its intrinsic value---zero."----Voltaire
"Everything you say should be true, but not everything true should be said."----Voltaire
The other day I had the opportunity to drop by my department head's office. He's a friendly guy and, on the rare opportunities that I have to pay him a visit, we have had enjoyable conversations.
While I was in his office, I asked him, "Sir, what is the secret of your success?"
He said, "Two words."
"And, Sir, what are they?"
"Right decisions."
"But how do you make right decisions?"
"One word," he responded.
"And, Sir, what is that?"
"Experience."
"And how do you get experience?"
"Two words."
"And, Sir what are they?"
"Wrong decisions."
Cheers, RickO
The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.
"Being of sound mind," read the lawyer, "I spent every last cent before I died."
Cheers, RickO
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
The penguins in Star Wars
https://youtu.be/BhiPp4Oe_FA
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
To the secret lab!
https://youtu.be/nPMoA0S-kpU
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Mr. Bean as Palpatine
https://youtu.be/FItHgP_l234
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Top Gear guys in Fallout 4
https://youtu.be/JLKLppIvFFc
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
Ever play Skyrim?
https://youtu.be/1frSKbY5tx8
Throw a coin enough times, and suppose one day it lands on its edge.
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
Ever since I was a child, I've always had an irrational fear of someone being under my bed at night.
So, I went to a shrink and confessed, “I've got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink, "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?” I inquired.
“Eighty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I'll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor and I meet on the street. “Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked.
“Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year would cost me $12,480.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I bought myself a new pickup truck.”
“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.”
It's always better to get a second opinion!
Wayne
Kennedys are my quest...
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members
USN & USAF retired 1971-1993
Successful Transactions with more than 100 Members