Numismatically themed Chuck Norris jokes - resurrected 2019 because it's funny

I sparred with Bill 'superfoot' Wallace once.



Got my ass kicked.

*Chuck Norris doesn't submit to PCGS. They submit to him.

I'm not up on this. Is Chuck a coin collector?

Chuck Norris does not use an SDB....He IS the security. Cheers, RickO

Chuck know martial arts and cracks coins out with his bare hands . He has no need for the Bean. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.







If this is offensive, you could be a numismatist.

here ya go:

Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts & Jokes



Browse through the top 50 Chuck Norris Facts.



When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris



There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.


Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.



Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic


Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.



Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.


Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.



Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.


Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died


There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.



When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.


Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his front room ...its not dead it just doesn't dare move


Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.


The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.


The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.


Chuck Norris' lunch was stolen during a camping trip. No one has seen Big Foot ever since.


Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.



Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.



Chuck Norris doesn't give the wrong answer, you ask the wrong question


Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then the grenade exploded.




Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.


The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.


Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on the sun.



The police have new bullet proof vest, it's a T-shirt with Chuck Norris printed on it.




Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.



Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.


Water boils faster when Chuck Norris is watching



If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.


When someone fires a gun at Chuck Norris, the bullets dodge him.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.



When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.



Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.



Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying gl*****. At night.


Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris



Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.



Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

X100

.

Once again, the "donkey filter" is alive and kicking!

Keep em coming!

FuseTalk always works for Chuck Norris the first time

Chuck Norris uses Windows 11. And it works!

Compared to Chuck Norris. Superman couldn't bust a grape with a sludge hammer.

Chuck Norris never needs to repunch a mint mark.

Chuck Norris tells when CAC coins are good enough and if they meet HIS approval. He is a fifth party grader.

After a grueling day of looking at coins, Chuck relaxes on his coach in front of a bear skin rug and a roaring fire. But The bear isn't dead. It's just afraid to move.



That's all I got.

Chuck Norris has a close friend who is an avid coin collector. One afternoon, Chuck's pal handed him a BU $20 Liberty to take a look at, Chuck had never seen one before. Viewing the reverse first, Chuck turned over the coin to see the obverse. After just a few seconds, Mrs. Liberty's cheek began to tone a reddish hue. Her forehead started to sweat, and the coin began to buzz and shake in Chuck's open palm. The coin quickened its pace and now shook violently. With a sudden loud CRACK it broke into five pieces. Chuck apologized and handed five $4 Stella's back to his friend ...all with their hair down.