*tap* *tap* *tap*

MdLupine

THE BIRTHDAY DIRGE
tune: "Volga Boatmen"

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Now you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Children dying far and near
Women crying in despair

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Death, destruction, and despair
People dying everywhere

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Typhoid, plague and polio
Coffins lined up in a row

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

When you've reached the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Black Death has just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Soon your hair will all turn grey
Then fall out (or so they say)

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

We love children, yes we do
Baked or broiled or in a stew

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

This one lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you,

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

You're a period cook, its true
Ask the beetles in the stew

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Just be glad the friends you've got
Haven't found out you-know-what

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

Now another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>

When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go

Happy Birthday! <thud!> Happy Birthday! <thud!>