Another LAX TSA story

messydesk

Unlike the esteemed Andy Lustig, whose coins were subject to enhanced search at terminal 4 on Thursday, I came home through terminal 7. Before running my bag through the x-ray this morning, the only thing the TSA agent asked me was, "Do you have any gin in here?"

My comeback was limited to, "Why, do you want some?" although my esprit d'escalier soon came up with "Hey, it's 5 o'clock in London" and "You just confiscated some tonic, didn't you."

ArizonaJack

Excellent !!!

I have a Long Beach TSA story. At the marina at the end of Pine street, there is an area with restauraunts, shops, etc etc. I purchased a pound of chocolate fudge in the fudge shop. Before going home to give it to my wife, I wrapped it real good in foil, then into 2 ziplocks incase it melted.

When they pulled me aside into a private room, then walks in an officer with a dog, I was thinking what the hell is going on.

Stand back sir and dont talk. The dog sniffed and looked bored, so they opened up my carry on and found the fudge. Looked at me like " We got ya !! "
When they smelled it and determined it was chocolate, they looked at me and said " Dont ever pack candy like this again. Ever "

Wow......

WTCG

The vast majority of the time when I transit LAX I almost exclusively use Terminal 1 or Terminal 7. I have found TSA procedures at both terminal security checkpoints to be fairly straight forward and for the most part without too much hassle.

My TSA story at LAX happened a few years ago at Terminal 1. I was responsible for almost getting the entire terminal evacuated because of my car keys. Keys to Mercedes cars are slightly bulbous in appearance and because of how they were positioned while being x-rayed at that moment the x-ray observer mistook it for a hand grenade. He thought the key was the grenade and the keychain was the locking pin.

Dabigkahuna

Wow! I now avoid LAX at all cost. I must have that look or something? Every time, TSA would pull me out of the line. I have been using Long Beach in order to forgo that hassle but now that I have heard the chocolate story, I just don't know now. Maybe flying into TJ and crossing the border the old fashioned way will be next?

Wingsrule

I believe there is something in chocolate (nitrates?) that emits something with a similar 'signature' to various explosive components.

AngryTurtle

<< <i>Excellent !!!

I have a Long Beach TSA story. At the marina at the end of Pine street, there is an area with restauraunts, shops, etc etc. I purchased a pound of chocolate fudge in the fudge shop. Before going home to give it to my wife, I wrapped it real good in foil, then into 2 ziplocks incase it melted.

When they pulled me aside into a private room, then walks in an officer with a dog, I was thinking what the hell is going on.

Stand back sir and dont talk. The dog sniffed and looked bored, so they opened up my carry on and found the fudge. Looked at me like " We got ya !! "
When they smelled it and determined it was chocolate, they looked at me and said " Dont ever pack candy like this again. Ever "

Wow...... >>



Only thing you were missing: Dont ever buy gourmet coffee with your fudge, either. Used to attempt to throw the sniffer dog off, and will succeed in raising even more red flags!

Mission16

Not a LAX TSA but a Syracuse one. I had been in Central New York, cleaning out my Dad's old place. His neighbor had given me 2 bricks of great New York State Cheddar cheese (FYI southern cheese makers: Cheddar is NOT orange) and I had bought a half gallon of maple syrup from the FFA at Stockbridge Valley Central School in Munnsville. (yum, nothing like REAL maple syrup. )

I packed everything nice and tight in my check thru baggage. At the airport, checked in , put the bag at the TSA machine and headed to the mens room. When I came out, I passed by the TSA area and noticed they had my bag there and was going thru it. No big deal, I've nothing to hide.

It wasn't until I was waiting to board the it occurred to me what a jug of syrup and two bricks of cheese might look like on the x-ray machine.

The lady at the gate looked at me a little funny as was chuckling as I boarded.

Barry

Shortly after 9/11, I flew with my daughter from PHL to LAX, as she was participating in the Kids' tournament on Jeopardy. On the way home, at LAX, they took the nail clipper from my toilet kit, broke off the 1 inch long nail file and said it was a dangerous weapon. All I said was they didn't think so in Philly. I still have that nail clipper, but if my nails are dirty, you know why

pennyannie

Nothing surprises me when going thru the airport anymore. I actually think things are better at DFW, the last 6 times have been hassle free except for the cheap surgical steel in my body. My insurance company was to cheap to spring for Ti.

My son bought me a scope for my remington ar-15 and i decided to let academy install it. ( where he bought it) I parked in the parking lot and started towards the front door. I noticed after walking 100 feet that people were backing up. I was starting to worry about a John Wayne type packing a concealed pistol looking for a thropy. ( me) I was glad to make it into the store and asked for a bag to put the gun in before i went back to the truck after they finished.

ianrussell

<< <i>The vast majority of the time when I transit LAX I almost exclusively use Terminal 1 or Terminal 7. I have found TSA procedures at both terminal security checkpoints to be fairly straight forward and for the most part without too much hassle.
>>



I agree with you Wei - fairly straight forward. Of course, there are always exceptions at every airport... I'd probably say it's 95% consistent, and 5% of the time, something strange happens (like some of the examples on this board).

- Ian

johnny9434

it makes you wonder who they they think the terrorist are. jmo

pennyannie

Back in the early 1990's i took a job with the TSA. I had back surgery and needed to get a job to close out my workers comp case. I was hired on the spot and went to work 2 days later. NO Training what so ever at that time, 2 hours into my 1st shift the supervisor came up and told me it was my break time. I took off the jacket and walked out the door never to return.

Barry

<< <i>it makes you wonder who they they think the terrorist are. jmo >>


They are trained not to think.

TwoSides2aCoin

re-LAX sir, we're just going to probe you with this 'stick'.
edit to tell the truth:

Actually went through there on Friday the 3rd of June. The agents were friendly and professional.

Konahead

I would rather have my eyes gouged out with a fork than fly out of LAX. I go out or Burbank, John Wayne or Ontario. No lines or hassles, EVER.

gonzer

<< <i>Looked at me like " We got ya !! " >>



I keep flashing on that scene of Billy Hayes in 'Midnight Express'.

WTCG

<< <i>I would rather have my eyes gouged out with a fork than fly out of LAX. I go out or Burbank, John Wayne or Ontario. No lines or hassles, EVER. >>



LAX isn't great, but there are worse airports out there. All the other Southern California airports have their own pros and cons.

Burbank Bob Hope:
Pros: Closest airport to downtown Los Angeles and the Hollywood area.
Cons: The terminal is so old and dingy it makes LAX Terminal 6 look new. Start praying if your plane needs to execute a missed approach on Runway 8.

Long Beach:
Pros: Seldom delays, closest airport to the Long Beach Expo.
Cons: Limited number of daily flights. Terminal so small and rudimentary it makes the Burbank Bob Hope terminal feel nice. Don't use the restrooms if you don't need to.

LA/ Ontario:
Pros: Newish, bright and functional terminal.
Cons: So far out of the way east of anything worthwhile in the LA area you think if you miss the airport exit you'd hit the Nevada state line.

John Wayne/ Orange County/ Santa Ana:
Pros: Spacious, clean terminal. Very close to PCGS and Spectrum.
Cons: Primarily a business destination. Airport effectively shuts down after 7pm weekdays and 3pm weekends. Say your prayers and get in the brace position if your plane doesn't land right on the runway numbers.

Other SoCal airports:

Palm Springs:
Pros: Indoor and outdoor terminal similar to those in Hawaii. Comfortable when it's under 90 degrees but not so much when it's 120 degrees outside. You'll be the youngest person on your flight.
Cons: You'll be the youngest person on your flight. Hardly any mainline aircraft fly here outside of the winter months.

LA-Palmdale/ Plant 42
Pros: No lines, no crowds ever.
Cons: I've never heard of this place either.

San Diego:
Pros: So close to downtown it's practically within walking distance of the airport.
Cons: Did that guy standing on the roof of that parking garage just touch our plane as we were about to land?

Bear

The Fed will soon be using proctologists for the male cavity searches.

That way they can check for contraband as well as check the prostrate.

GregL

<< <i>Back in the early 1990's i took a job with the TSA. I had back surgery and needed to get a job to close out my workers comp case. I was hired on the spot and went to work 2 days later. NO Training what so ever at that time, 2 hours into my 1st shift the supervisor came up and told me it was my break time. I took off the jacket and walked out the door never to return. >>



The TSA didn't existing until after 9-11. In the 1990s, security has provided by private companies. The lack of training was fairly well known in aviation circles.

onejinx

This past Dec, I was flying out of Raleigh back to Boston with a suticase full of homemade mini-breads( about 30 loaves) in my carry on, all wrapped in tin foil and never got questioned.

Ahrensdad

<< <i>This past Dec, I was flying out of Raleigh back to Boston with a suticase full of homemade mini-breads( about 30 loaves) in my carry on, all wrapped in tin foil and never got questioned. >>



Hungry?

There's a business opportunity there considering the lack of food on airplanes.

onejinx

Lol, it was all frozen from my parents freezer. I was stocking up on it

CoinMaster1229

New TSA Story on youtube!

http://youtu.be/ggWBEX0Fnpc

CCC2010

<< <i>Excellent !!!

I have a Long Beach TSA story. At the marina at the end of Pine street, there is an area with restauraunts, shops, etc etc. I purchased a pound of chocolate fudge in the fudge shop. Before going home to give it to my wife, I wrapped it real good in foil, then into 2 ziplocks incase it melted.

When they pulled me aside into a private room, then walks in an officer with a dog, I was thinking what the hell is going on.

Stand back sir and dont talk. The dog sniffed and looked bored, so they opened up my carry on and found the fudge. Looked at me like " We got ya !! "
When they smelled it and determined it was chocolate, they looked at me and said " Dont ever pack candy like this again. Ever "

Wow...... >>



They probably thought it was a bomb you packed. Good thing they did not ask the dog to lick your fudge.

morgansforever

TSA question why he has proof ASE's in his luggage. Terrorist?
Maybe he was going to hurl a proof at a pilot and take over the plane?

TSA

ebaytrader

The secret to avoiding hassles if you're going to/from a show with coins is to be about an hour behind the first couple of coin guys through security. Once the scanner operators figure out what they're looking at they tend to wave you right thru.

7Jaguars

Addendum on SoCal airports:

Oxnard - what TSA? Oh, those are the homies with hats on backwards talking to some Bloods over there...

Pros: what line? Closer to LA center than Ontario
Cons: After the flight over Conejo, you better hope that the pilot can pull out of the screaming nose-dive to land on the only [part]runway

PS: You get extra mileage points if you can help with landings by reaching into the coc-pit to help the pilot land the plane

johnny9434

<< <i>

<< <i>it makes you wonder who they they think the terrorist are. jmo >>


They are trained not to think. >>



which is not good well taken to

pennyannie

<< <i>

<< <i>Back in the early 1990's i took a job with the TSA. I had back surgery and needed to get a job to close out my workers comp case. I was hired on the spot and went to work 2 days later. NO Training what so ever at that time, 2 hours into my 1st shift the supervisor came up and told me it was my break time. I took off the jacket and walked out the door never to return. >>



The TSA didn't existing until after 9-11. In the 1990s, security has provided by private companies. The lack of training was fairly well known in aviation circles. >>



You are right, i forgot the name of the company but still remember the ugly jacket you had to wear. I never got my check for the 2 hours. I originally stated it was in the early 1990"s but i think it was the mid to late 80's.